I'm thinking of ending things.
I'm Thinking of Ending Things is a 2016 horror novel written by Iain Reid.
The story concerns an unnamed young woman and her boyfriend Jake, who are on their way to dinner at Jake's parents' remote farm. She has secretly been unhappy with their relationship for quite some time, and considers breaking up with him on this very trip sometime after they leave the house. After an exceedingly uncomfortable meal, the couple intend to head home but end up taking a terrifying detour.
A film adaptation of the novel was produced by Netflix; it was written and directed by Charlie Kaufman and stars Jessie Buckley as the woman, Jesse Plemons as Jake, and Toni Collette and David Thewlis as Jake's parents. It was released on September 4th, 2020.
This book provides examples of:
- Arc Words: The book's title, which is echoed in three different ways:
- The narrator's contemplation on ending her and Jake's relationship.
- Jake's thoughts leading up to his suicide.
- Jake finally succumbing to death at the end of his dying dream.
- Dead All Along: Jake's parents are long-dead.
- Double-Meaning Title: "I'm thinking of ending things" could refer to the relationship between Jake and the young woman, which she finds unhappy, or Jake's own life, which ends at the end of the novel.
- Downer Ending: We find out all the events of the story were just the dying fantasy of the janitor who has taken his own life.
- Dying Dream: At the end of the story, it's revealed that all the events of the book happened inside Jake's head. He's actually the janitor. A depressed, middle-aged man whose lack of social skills have lead him to a life of depression and lonelines, he commits suicide in a school closet and imagines that he has a girlfriend and is young again as he dies. As the story increases in dread and horror, he gets closer to death before finally expiring at the end.
- Dying for Symbolism: The narrator committing suicide at the end of the novel signals that Jake's last moments have passed, his fantasy is over, and now he must pass on.
- Environmental Symbolism: Over the course of the night, the narrator notices numerous creepy, small details about the places around her (such as the lock on the inside of the basement door and one of the girls at Dairy Queen missing a fingernail). These symbolize that Jake's dream is deteriorating and become more nightmarish as he gets closer to death.
- The Faceless: The narrator recalls an incident from her childhood where she woke up in the middle of the night to find a tall man standing outside her bedroom window, except the only visible part was his torso. Though she can't see his face and he shouldn't be able to see her, he still waves and is gone in the morning. She's unsure if this was a nightmare or not.
- Featureless Protagonist: Though the narrator refers to several events that happened during her childhood, readers are given surprisingly little information about her, not even her name. The only things explicitly stated are the feelings on her and Jake's relationship, with virtually nothing revealed about her past, appearance, or independent thoughts. This is because Jake imagines his girlfriend as a woman he almost talked to in a bar once, therefore having to make up only a basic backstory for her with little detail.
- Foreshadowing: There are many, many, many signs throughout the novel that it's all imagined inside Jake's head. Notable ones include:
- The narrator commenting that a picture of Jake as a child looks exactly like her.
- The contradicting nature of the narrator's childhood stories.
- The symbolic painting in the basement of the house.
- The narrator recognizing the girls in Dairy Queen and the layout of the school despite never meeting them or being to the building.
- Out-of-Context Eavesdropping: The chapters in the book are intercut with a conversation between two unknown people about an incident that happened inside the school. The reader thinks they're talking about the janitor attacking Jake and his girlfriend, but in the end we learn they're talking about Jake's suicide.
- Red Herring: Some of the small, creepy details that happen are clues that Jake is imaging everything inside his head. Others are just there to scare readers and don't have a deeper meaning.
- Tomato in the Mirror: At the end of his dying dream, Jake (who had been imagining himself as his fake girlfriend up until this point) comes face to face with his true self, the depressed, lonely janitor, after being chased through the school. He finally recognizes it as himself and dies shortly after.
