TV Tropes Café / Just For Fun

Welcome to TV Tropes Café. We have a large selection of dishes we hope you will enjoy. Take a look at our menu and pick what you like. My name is Trope-tan and I'll be your waitress for today.

All dairy products come from our famous giant cows, our crops are grown on the local Agri World, and our fruits and vegetables are organic and delivered fresh from Veganopia!

If you're looking for something a little stronger, please visit the Bar here and try out one of our many cocktails.

Bad to the Last Drop: Boiling water poured over used coffee grounds, mixed with the dregs of yesterday's pot. Darth-tan's favorite... somehow.
Darkest Africa: A cup of thick Ethiopian black coffee.
Dreaming of a White Christmas: White chocolate frappe with vanilla whipped cream and white chocolate sprinkles shaped like snowflakes. Happy Holidays!
Fire/Ice Duo: An order of two drinks; one hot espresso, and one cold frappe.
Hideous Hangover Cure: A barista's special used for customers who come in after a long night of drinking. Includes a mix of coffee, cream, bacon grease and hot sauce. Those with dietary restrictions against pork products can request a version with coconut oil instead; it's not like it'll taste any worse.
Hydro-Electro Combo: Psycho Electro with boiling Making a Splash instead of Red Bull (with a small pinch of caffeine powder).
Klatchian Coffee: Triple-Strength Dark roast, spiked with espresso and your choice of Red Bull, Monster, or 5-Hour energy drink.
Red Baron: A red-eye coffee with added Red Bull and spiced strawberries.
Psycho Electro: Take five shots of expresso and pour all of it into a large glass full of sugar. Add Red Bull.
Scotireland: Coffee served with scotch and Irish whiskey.
Shock and Awe: A mix of extra frothy triple-shot banoffee latte and sugar free Gatorade Blue Bolt topped with yellow-and-blue lightning bolt shaped sprinkles. Can be either served both hot or cold; either way, you'll get an energizing zappy taste.
The Speedster: An Americano with 2 tablespoons of sugar, 3 tablespoons of artificial sweetener and giving it the gaudiest silly-straw ever.
Uncoffee: A vegan coffee latte made from non-toxic fungus and cocoa-powder.

Breakfast

Asbestos-Free Cereal: The only cereal in town guaranteed free of toxic waste, powdered glass, and radioactive materials. Not that anyone else has those, but notice they don't deny they do?
Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: Your choice of toast with eggs any style dusted with our signature breadcrumbs, and a side of bacon and sausage.
Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: Eggs any style, served with toast, a glass of milk, and our signature gravy, which tastes much, much better than it looks.
Chewing the Scenery: Bacon and eggs on a biscuit with hot sauce and mustard. Sausage gravy to dip.
Chicken-and-Egg Paradox: Why choose? Comes with scrambled eggs and chicken tenders.
Chocolate-Frosted Sugar Bombs: A super fun cereal experience: chocolate corn puffs with sugar in every bite! Turns your milk a variety of colors! Insulin will be provided upon request.
Egg MacGuffin: A breakfast sandwich with patty-style breakfast sausage, a fried egg, cheese, bacon, and an exclusive house sauce you can't find anywhere else, all served on an English Muffin. One of them out of the whole batch has a maple syrup-infused pancake hidden inside.
Five-Man Band: Eggs, Sausage, Bacon, 1 pancake, and biscuits coated in our famous gravy. A simple meal that doesn't overload itself with too many options.
Flat Character: One large pancake, shaped and decorated to resemble a cartoon character of your choice.
Future Self Reveal: Scrambled eggs with chicken, alongside your choice of cheese and a glass of milk.
Good Morning, Crono: Kids Menu. Two eggs with toast and a choice of juice.
Happily Adopted: Chicken with three fried eggs, one of which is a goose egg.
"Have a Nice Day" Smile: Eggs and bacon arranged to form a smiley face.
Late for School: Malt-sprinkled French toast on the go.
Morning Routine: Steak cooked how you would like with eggs, toast, and your choice of juice.
Night and Day Duo: A glass of warm milk with a side of eggs and bacon- a popular choice at all times of the day.
Not a Morning Person: For those who have a hard time getting up. Two eggs with bacon, a cup of coffee (free refills), and toast.
Pattern-Coded Eggs: Eggs for breakfast, served in a different style every day of the week (fried on Friday, sunny-side up on Sunday, scrambled on Saturday, over medium on Monday...)
Plain Palate: Bread and (unsalted) butter, your choice of either oatmeal or bran flakes, and a glass of non-fat ice milk, perfect for those that prefer bland food (no judgement here).
Shot at Dawn: Comes in both "well-aimed" (house coffee, protein powder, wheatgrass juice, and a skewer of berries) and "shaky shot" (Kahlua, Red Bull, and not much else). It all depends on how you're intending to spend your day—but spend it like it's your last!
Toast of Tardiness: Toast that's served extra fast, for when you're running late.
White Bread and Black Brotha: A duo of breakfast sandwiches: An egg and cheese sandwich on white bread, and a spicy blood sausage patty on pumpernickel.
Working Class Anthem: Porridge made with evaporated milk that's sold cheaply buffet-style.

Lunch & Dinner

Appetizers

Badass Boast: Extra-spicy onigiri with an encouraging boast written on the wrapper, similar to a fortune cookie.
Badass Creed: A platter of Badass Boasts that may only be ordered by a group or by a repeat customer on the loyalty program.
Breakout Character: Savory breakable calzone in the shape of Arthur Fonzarelli's thumbs up, stuffed with mozzarella, beer-cured pepperoni, and imitation sharkfin.
Chummy Mummy: Cumin-spiced beef jerky wrapped in strips of mozzarella.
Chunky Salsa Rule: Nachos and chunky spicy salsa for dipping.
Cold Ham: Cold smoked ham served on platter.
Fairy Ring: Sliced up mushrooms, arranged on your plate in a circle.
From Zero to Hero: A bucket of chicken wings arranged from mildest to strongest, starting with a top layer of sweet honey and ending with our red-hot, steel-melting, barbecue wings.
Lima Syndrome: A bowl of minestrone with lima beans in it. Cheese is optional.
Onion Tears: Our take on onion rings; these ones are diced into small bits. Served with your choice of dipping sauce.
Sixth Ranger Traitor: 6 chicken strips, 1 of which has been coated with our secret super spicy mixture.
String Theory: A distribution of shoestring French fries and string cheese. Preferred dipping sauce is provided, squirted upon the plate to form the words "PEPE SILVIA". (Alternative words available upon request.)

Soups and Salads

Cold Cash: A simple salad for those who are looking to watch their weight (and wallet), with your choice of dressing.
Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Tomato soup, simple, delicious, and classic, served with a side of bread.
Fun with Alphabet Soup: Soup in the flavor of your choice with alphabet pasta arranged in the soup so it spells out your name.
Greek Fire: A spicy lamb stew with a side of Greek salad.
Innate Night Vision: Egg salad with peppers, avocado, and extra carrots, perfect for helping you see in the dark.
Lava Pot Volcano: A spicy, bubbling tomato soup served in a volcano-shaped bowl.
Lovecraft Country: New England-style octopus chowder, coloured pitch black with squid ink.
Made of Iron: A healthy salad rich with iron consists of spinach, diced lamb steak, lentil, and tofu with cashew cream dressing.
Magic Cauldron: A steaming-hot vegetable soup served in a deep bowl.
Magic Fire: Magic Cauldron with tomato, chili, pepper and lavender.
Memory-Restoring Melody: A bowl of beef-and-noodles stew that grants lucidity to the aged minds of seniors. Extra ingredients include carrot pieces and hot spice.
Mess on a Plate: Beef stew with added Signature Gravy. Side of poutine.
Moe Greene Special: A veggie-broth soup full of cow eyes. Only pretentious rich people and YouTube foodies who are goaded into eating it on Patreon polls ever eat it.
Neglected Garden: A withered spinach and lettuce salad.
Pineapple Surprise: A fruit salad topped with whipped cream and served in half a pineapple that's been hollowed out into a bowl.
Shark Pool: A soup made from imitation sharkfin and blood-red vegetables.
Soup Is Medicine: Beef broth with vegetables and a side of ginger ale. Legend has it that it can cure any ailment.
Soup of Poverty: All of yesterday's meat and vegetable leftovers tossed into a massive stew pot and boiled to perfection. Free on Tuesdays.
Stab the Salad: A salad with vinaigrette and pineapple.
Straw Vegetarian: Roasted straw mushroom salad with green goddess dressing.
Summer Romance: Summer salad with corn, strawberries, avocado, tomatoes, cucumbers, feta, and basil. Goes well with a Something about a Rose or a Marshmallow Dream.
Vegetarian Carnivore: A vegetable soup after it was used to cook roast beef.
Weight Loss Salad: Three lettuce leaves, no dressing.
Word Salad Title: Arugula salad with alphabet pasta.
- Word-Salad Horror: combo with a Sugary Malice, an order of Creepypasta with alphabet pasta instead of spaghetti, and some extra-dark coffee.
- Word-Salad Humor: adds a side and a sheet of paper with some surreal jokes.
- Word Salad Lyrics: Comes with a side of Music to Invade Poland to while a song of your choice is played in the background.

Burgers (Note: all burgers can substitute a veggie patty at no extra cost)

Already Undone for You: The individual ingredients of a hamburger, for you to assemble yourself.
Americasia: An American burger made with Japanese Kobe beef, buns (Wheat or rice), ketchup (regular or Wasabi), teriyaki sauce, and sashimi.
The Big Guy: For when only the absolute beefiest will do. Four quarter-pound patties with your choice of toppings.
Burger Fool: A bacon cheeseburger topped with lettuce, onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and mayonnaise. Comes with your choice of side.
Implied Death Threat: An abundant burger fashioned based on the cook's impression of you or someone at your table, held together by a knife stabbed from the top bun through the bottom.
Kidnapper's KFC: A tiny burger, three fries, and a mouthwash-sized cup of soda. Can be eaten in two bites, for when you're in a hurry.
Mystery Box: A burger made with various experimental ingredients, meant to be a fun lottery for the more adventurous foodies. Certain ingredients include runny eggs, dill, pickle relish, pepperoni, Peanut butter, Jellyfish-Jelly, grilled shrimp, grilled salmon, expresso powder, reaper sauce, beetroot, pineapple, corn, etc.
Shout-Out: For the picky/bratty kids who wish they went somewhere else. Two all-beef patties, burger sauce, lettuce, pickles, and onions on a sesame seed bun. Try it With Cheese. Served with fries and a Coke.
Tomboy and Girly Girl: A hamburger with onions and hot sauce served with a strawberry milkshake.
- Tender Tomboyishness, Foul Femininity: A special variant of the above; The hamburger also has two tender premium beef patties (or plant-based meat for the vegan choice), and the strawberry milkshake is replaced by a strawberry daiquiri made from various strong liqueurs.^note

Chicken and Poultry

Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Chicken that has been cooked in barbecue sauce with Buffalo sauce added afterward. Included are Jalapeños, raw onions, and lettuce.
Ashes to Ashes: Chargrilled chicken breast, peppers, onions, and asparagus on a burn-finished wood platter. Served with activated charcoal lemonade in a smoked glass cup.
Body of Bodies: A chicken stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey stuffed into a pig stuffed into a cow, the whole thing roasted over a bonfire.
Colon Cancer: Spicy chicken meat covered in hot sauce, served with your choice of coffee or alcohol.
Holiday in Cambodia: A trifecta of chicken dishes respectively simmered in green curry, coconut milk, and soy sauce generously sprinkled with cherry bomb peppers.
Hot Wings: Barbequed chicken wings marinaded in your choice of chili, sriracha, or (if you can handle it) Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce.
The Phoenix: A whole rotisserie chicken surrounded by Hot Wings with all three flavors of sauce.
Southern-Fried Genius: Southern Style Chicken served with your choice of side.
Tastes Like Chicken: A simple whole roast chicken; it tastes like chicken because that's exactly what it is.
Thanksgiving Turkey: A seasoned and roast 40lb turkey, perfect for Thanksgiving dinner. No surprises here.
Theiss Titillation Theory: A combination of chicken breasts and thighs, grilled while wrapped with thin strips of vegetables.

Seafood

Anchovies Are Abhorrent: Fried anchovies to complement any meal, served with lemons to calibrate their flavor.
Awesome Underwater World: A meal consisting of some of the most exotic species of fish. It's different every time you order.
BFS: A 20 ounce swordfish steak, cooked and marinated how you want it.
Father Neptune: A seafood-medley, including clams, shrimp, crab, and scallops, paired with a pasta of your choice.
Giant Enemy Crab: Steamed Dungeness Crab served with chilé-infused clarified butter. Served whole.
Giant Squid: A large squid stuffed with mushrooms, peppers, prawns, and tomatoes, with calamari rings and squid-ink pasta on the side.
Hey, Catch!: You can have the fish of your choice grilled or smoked to perfection, but you have to earn it first! Catch it from the aquarium using a miniature fishing rod and fake bait.
Hollywood Voodoo: Gumbo with crawdads, lemon, wild rice and cornbread on the side.
Mile-Long Ship: A long starship-shaped bowl with dozens of various types of sashimi and sushi in it
Penny-Pinching Crab: A live blue crab. Pay extra to have it cooked.
Red Live Lobster: A big red lobster boiled and seasoned with garlic butter. This is a rare type of lobster that was red before it was boiled.
Rōnin: A toast-spread made with rice-bread, seaweed, three different types of fish and soy sauce for dipping.
Shark Fin of Doom: Imitation sharkfin stuffed with hot peppers and seared in English mustard and soy sauce. Warning: not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach.
Summon Bigger Fish: Three courses: guppy, trout, then sturgeon, prepared however you want.
Sturgeon's Law: Grilled sturgeon served with two sides of your choice. 9 times out of 10, the sturgeon won't be seasoned and will taste absolutely terrible. It's that 1 time out of 10 it's worth ordering for.
Super-Powered Shrimp: Jumbo shrimp seasoned with chili powder, wrapped in bacon, and infused with soy sauce.
Tourism-Derailing Event: A carefully-cooked blowfish only for the bravest customers. Someone with a weak stomach will likely lose their chances for a healthy vacation, and that's if they're lucky.
Underwater Base: An elaborate sushi platter.
Zerg Rush: Popcorn Shrimp interspersed with deep-fried prawns, tossed in our signature Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce and lime juice. Recommended for tables; nobody can tackle this by themselves.

Pasta

Creepypasta: Spaghetti covered in crazy amounts of thick marinara sauce. So good, it's scary!
Fiery Redhead: Spaghetti in a Chorizo, Tomato and Paprika sauce, for the hot blooded people. Turn up the spices if you want.
Noodle Incident: Pasta prepared with our secret recipe. Don't ask, we'll never tell!
Playing with Fire: Tomato and pepper filled ravioli with hot chilli infused marinara sauce. Add a couple drops of Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce if you think you can handle the heat.
Ramen Slurp: Your choice of tonkotsu or torigara ramen soup. Comes with a straw for easy slurping.
Spaghetti and Gondolas: Spaghetti noodles with choice of tomato, carbonara, or pesto served in a gondola-shaped plate.
Trojan Veggies: Zucchini elbow noodles drenched in a mixture of cheese and puréed butternut squash. Tastes just like the real thing!

Sandwiches

Dagwood Sandwich: Quadruple-decker cold-cuts, lettuce, bacon, tomato, choice of fried egg or egg salad. Infinitely Scalable, with extra decks for $2 each. Choice of cheese; swiss, cheddar, or both. Choice of sauces; mustard (regular, honey, or English), ketchup, mayonnaise (regular, Ranch Dressing, or chipoltlé), or Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce.
Fire-Breathing Diner: A sandwich with spicy chicken, extra jalapenos, chili peppers, and extremely strong hot sauce.
Ham and Cheese: Our FINEST ham, sourdough bread AGED TEN YEARS, Swiss cheese SMUGGLED out of Switzerland, lettuce HAND-RAISED BY TIBETAN MONKS, the JUICIEST tomatoes from Chile, and your choice of MAYONNAISE or MUSTARD!
Hot Sub-on-Sub Action: Two sub sandwiches, one loaded with spicy meatballs and provolone, the other a freshly toasted BLT with the addition of jalapenos. No shame in sharing this action!
Made of Bologna: A bologna sandwich slathered in tomato ketchup.
Pony Tale: A horse-meat burger garnished with shredded lettuce, carrots, and a sweet-and-sour sauce.
Satiating Sandwich: Single deck of a "Dagwood" with mayo, fried egg, and both kinds of cheese.
Scooby Stack: A special Dagwood fit for Scooby and Shaggy! It's a five-layered sandwich with cheese, ham, chicken or turkey, pickles, onions, mustard, tomatoes, and mayo on each layer.
They Wasted a Perfectly Good Sandwich: Sandwich made-to-order on your choice of bread or bun, but we don't bring it out until you're full. Eat-in only.
Working-Class Hero: A hero sandwich made up with your choice of three meats and cheeses with vegetables and Italian dressing. Chips and a pickle on the side.

Steaks

"Arabian Nights" Days: Grilled mansaf with hummus and Arabic tea.
Born in the Saddle: A horse meat steak served in a saddle-liked plate.
Cartoon Meat: A large piece of Wagyu steak skewer which is attached by the stick of bone.
Conspicuous Consumption: A gold-leaf encrusted wagyu ribeye steak, hundred-year-old champagne, and mixed vegetables hand-raised by Tibetan monks. Costs $1,000 USD, Maitre'd plays a fanfare on a trumpet while it's being brought to the table.
Hot Blade: Sword Plant with additional mushrooms, chilis, and peppered steak meat, all marinated in siracha sauce.
Lethal Chef: Sirloin Steak cooked well done and topped with liver, onions, pickles, mushrooms and peanut butter.
Let's Meet the Meat: This dish is literally begging to be eaten. A 10-oz New York steak topped with grilled onions and grilled mushrooms with your choice of 2 sides.
Meat Versus Veggies: Peppered rib eye steak served with Green Thumb salad.
Milking the Giant Cow: A 64-oz steak with a pitcher of milk.
Mock Millionaire: A poor man's version of the Conspicuous Consumption gold-leaf steak. It's a sirloin steak with a garnish of parsley covered in (edible) gold spray paint, a bottle of sparkling water, and some green beans.
Mundane Luxury: Flank steak, mixed vegetables, sauteed onions. Choice of sides.
Prefers Raw Meat: Your choice of sirloin, ribeye, or flank steak, cooked blue rare.
Reduced to Ratburgers: Our cheapest option for those on a budget. A salsbury steak (hamburger patty) cut into the shape of a mouse, with fries. Please note it does not contain actual rat.
Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: A loaf of soft white bread served with a hefty sirloin steak cooked medium rare.
Sword Plant: A beef and veggie kabob roasted on a rapier-like skewer.

Other Dishes

Ancient Grome: A Greek gyro served with Italian roast beef.
Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys: A cheese plate consisting of fine varieties of French cheese.
Culture Chop Suey: A bowl of chop suey with meats and vegetables from several different countries, including sweet and sour pork, shrimp, sushi, wasabi, British potatoes, celery, Korean ground beef, smoked salmon, and chunks of imitation sharkfin.
Dishing Out Dirt: Toad in the hole with potatoes and fresh mixed vegetables.
Every Pizza Is Pepperoni: Triple pepperoni pizza, with additional pepperoni available on request.
Fireballs: A bowl of spicy meatballs served in a pepper-infused sauce.
Flaming Meteor: One giant meatball stuffed with salt and peppered vegetables and covered in hot sauce.
Glorious Mother Russia: Six chebureki dumplings and a glass of strong kvass.
- Husky Russkie: The above, but with only one plate-size chebureki dumpling.
Heart Is an Awesome Power: Breaded cow heart stuffed with jalapenos, proving that even the unusual bits can still be just as good as the rest of them.
I'm a Humanitarian: A very lengthy pork chop, served three ways:
- Captured by Cannibals: Served with a lush salad, poi (kind of like mashed potatoes but more exotic) and a bowl of spicy broth.
- The Secret of Long Pork Pies: English-style pork pie with hot mustard.
- Torture Cellar: The pork chop is pounded flat, cut up randomly, cured in lime juice, and served with the fork and knife sticking out of it.
Instant Roast: A small roasted chicken, pork, or turkey joint flash-fried so you can eat it almost as quickly as you ordered it.
Kick the Dog: Hot dog with our secret recipe Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce.
Large Ham: An absolutely enormous honey-glazed ham, topped with pineapple slices.
- Incoming Ham: For an additional charge, added fanfare as it arrives at your table.
- Evil Is Hammy: Large Ham with a sweet chilli glaze instead of honey, pepper slices instead of pineapple, and stuffed with devilled ham.
Music to Invade Poland to: Pierogi with strawberry filling, served with cranberry sauce and laid on the plate to the shape of a music note.
Mystery Meat: A serving of seasoned meat of unknown origin. Don't tell the health department.
No Party Like a Donner Party: An entire vertical rotisserie spinner of donner meat (your choice of chicken, beef, or lamb).
A Pig Named Pork Chop: Hog roast with pork chops on the side, coated in a bacon-infused glaze.
Rack Focus: A large rack of ribs in your choice of honey-braised, Texas Barbeque, or sweet chili flavour.
Ragtag Bunch of Misfits: 5 eggs in your choice of style, with sausage, soup, pasta, chicken, and a milkshake. Perfect for a large, diverse, and unique group of heroes and adventurers.
Red/Green Contrast: A healthy medley of green vegetables served with a not-so-healthy slab of red meat.
Roadkill for Dinner: A good budget option; an animal freshly killed in the parking lot, cleaned, cooked, and seasoned to still be delicious. For a dollar extra, add a bottle of moonshine.
Rump Roast: Your choice of pork butt or rump steak (or both) seasoned and roasted over a crackling fire.
Sacrificial Lamb: A succulent lamb joint marinated in gravy with an assortment of herbs and spices. The lamb who was killed to make it can at least be happy that it died for a good cause.
Salt Solution: Escargot and potatoes served with extra salt, coupled with salted caramel ice cream for dessert.
Sausage String Silliness: Hot dog on a bun. Minimum order of 4, and they're all attached.
Something Blues: A blue cheese dish with a side of blueberries.
Spexico: Paella served in burrito wrappings.
Tasty Gold: Crispy golden chicken or fish nuggets with a bag of chocolate coins for dessert.
Toros y Flamenco: Flamenquín (dry-cured ham and fries) with Gambas al ajillo (garlic shrimps).
To Serve Man: A large bacon-wrapped meatloaf in the shape of a human with an apple in their mouth. Especially popular with all our extraterrestrial customers.

Vegan Dishes

Afro Asskicker: Broccoli and black beans medley with an extra spicy kick.
Green Thumb: An all-green vegetable medley of lettuce, kale, broccoli, green apple, and cucumber seasoned with olive oil and guacamole, spring onion and parsley.
King Incognito: A thick, dark saag aloo (curry with spinach and potatoes). It might look like a mess, but give it your respect, and you'll surely be rewarded.
Soylent Soy: Tofurkey with all the fixings, and a Vanilla Soylent protein shake.
Tutti Frutti Hat: A colorful variety of fruits and vegetables, served in the brim of a hat.

Alcoholic Beverages

Agent Peacock: Blue Raspberry and strawberry daquiri shaved ice floating in gin and whiskey.
The Alcoholic: A strong drink for only the truest of drinkers, made by combining a single shot from every alcoholic beverage the kitchen serves into one drink.
Alcohol-Induced Bisexuality: Long Island Iced Tea with blueberry, raspberry, and passionfruit liqueur and a touch of lavender. Two glasses, and you'll almost certainly not care about the gender of the next person you flirt with that night.
Booze Flamethrower: A super spicy bottle of liquor, served with a chili pepper in the glass.
Coconut Meets Cranium: Coconut liqueur with rum and gin. Be warned that drinking too much will make you feel like you got hit in the head by a coconut.
Dashing Hispanic: Margarita served with a dash of cinnamon.
Doctor Whomage: A banana daiquiri, garnished with a satsuma slice and a few leaves of celery.
Drunk on Milk: Milk with a shot of whiskey added in.
Expensive Glass of Crap: The cheapo version of High-Class Glass. Grocery store boxed wine served in a collectible flute. We know, you know, but nobody else has to.
Explosive Punch: Passionfruit punch with tequila, ground-up Pop Rocks, cola, and mints for a poppin' experience.
Frothy Mugs of Water: A concoction consisting of cream soda, mango juice, and daiquiri.
Gargle Blaster: Long-Island Iced Tea with an extra shot of everclear.
Head Desk: A blend of 3 different liquors, guaranteeing you will wake up feeling like you slammed your head into a table.
High-Class Glass: A flute of hundred-year-old wine. $100 each, keep the glass.
I Hate Past Me: Five types of rum garnished with a slice of lime, one drink limit. Be warned, you WILL hate yourself in the morning.
I Need a Freaking Drink: Craft Beer with a shot of whiskey.
Lady and Knight: A drink option for couples; a choice of wines for the lady, and a choice of whiskies for the "knight".
Lady in Red: Sangria with extra cinnamon and strawberry garnish to heighten the appeal.
Lampshade Hanging: Our signature drink. A margarita mixed with cherry juice and lemonade served in a take home souvenir lampshade glass.
Let Us Never Speak of This Again: Gin, vodka, absinthe, Spirytus vodka, Everclear, and a touch of lemon. Perfect for when you just want to forget the day ever happened.
Macho Latino: Tequila seasoned with a lime zest and dash of tabasco sauce.
Molotov Cocktail: Not a real one, of course. Instead, a glass fashioned from an old bottle is filled with vodka and a splash of habanero liquor, and optionally set aflame for real.
The Old North Wind: A chilled, peppermint flavored vodka.
Old Soldier: A classic gin-and-tonic. For a few bucks extra, you can have it in a flask, which you can take home.
Rebellious Spirit: A spicy margarita with a jalapeno instead of a lime.
Sentai: Five sake bombs, with the beer replaced by five surprise drinks of different color and flavor. Second round includes a sixth at no extra charge! Operating heavy machinery afterwards is not recommended.
Umbrella Drink: A colorful pina colada with a mini umbrella of your choice.
Vodka Drunkenski: A mug of kvass with a shot of vodka.
Windmill Crusader: Strong liquor of your choice splashed with dash of marijuana extract with a pinwheel straw. Consuming too much might cause hallucinations.

Non-Alcoholic Beverages

1-Up: A soft drink similar to 7-Up. Free refills.
And a Diet Coke: A simple diet coke for those worried about their health. Free refills.
Arduous Descent to Terra Firma: A luscious banana smoothie to conclude a busy day and head to your bed for a beautiful sleep.
Beige Prose: One toffee milkshake. Straw included.
Bottled Cool: Extra bubbly and cold cola, lemonade, or cream soda served in a frosted glass bottle.
Calming Tea: A cup of green tea, serene and calming.
Can't Hold His Liquor: Non-alcoholic beer, wine, or cider for people with a low alcohol tolerance.
Cherry Tapping: A cherry cola float mixed with a cherry milkshake, topped with whipped cream and a single cherry. Just a few sips from this one, after a long meal, is all that it takes to top off your appetite.
Coca-Pepsi, Inc.: Why choose between Coke and Pepsi when you can have both mixed together? Tastes better than it sounds.
Gigantic Gulp: 1-Up, And a Diet Coke, Rainbow Lite, or a mixture of the three in a 64, 128, or 256 ounce cup.
Gingerbread House: Ginger ale served with whipped cream and maraschino cherries.
Green and Mean: Green apple juice with slimy lime jelly bits.
Healing Potion: A tropical beverage sure to revitalize your soul. Consists of guava nectar, mango juice, Pineapple juice, and kiwi juice.
Hot Drink Cure: English breakfast tea, fortified with many antioxidants that keep your immune system firing on all cylinders.
Love Potion: Red cream soda, mixed with rose petals and strawberry juice, to make a Valentine’s Day bubbly and sweet.
Making a Splash: Flavored sparkling water with lemon and lime garnish to give a refreshing sensation.
Mana Potion: Red Bull or 5 Hour energy, cola, and Mountain Dew, with a pinch of protein powder stirred in.
Nitro Boost: Monster Energy Nitro mixed with cola and a shot of high fructose syrup.
Overflow Error: We'll fill a drink of choice for you. Just say "when", but only after the cup's overflowing!
Psycho Pink: Hot pink raspberry juice with extra sweet, sour, and spicy zing.
Purple Is the New Black: A glass of mixed blackberry and blackcurrant juice.
Purple Prose: A soda drink made with grape juice, blackcurrants, passionfruit, sparkling water, and a touch of light purple aromatic mint plant^notelavender.
Rainbow Lite: Diet version of the popular fruit-flavored soft drink. Free refills. WARNING: Excessive drinking may cause multicolored vomit.
Ship Tease: A balsamic pomegranate syrup mixed with sparkling water, honey, and topped with whip cream and a skewer of dark chocolate-covered cherries. They say it elates the atmosphere between those who share it.
Skull Cups: A dark red cordial served in a skull-shaped goblet.
Slurpasaur: A green milkshake drizzled with chocolate, topped with vintage dinosaur-shaped candies
Soda Can Shakeup: A soft drink of any choice shaken up to your delight. Free refills.
Tea Is Classy: A cup of Earl Gray tea. Make sure to have your pinky out as you sip it!
Vaporwave: A summer slush drink with lime and grape flavoring. Good for hot days and daytime music festivals.
Yellow Snow: A cool, refreshing lemonade slushy, this is the yellow snow you should eat.

Dessert

Apple of Discord: Apple pie a la mode with lemon ice cream. Sour then sweet.
Banana Republic: Maruya (fried banana fritter) topped with powdered sugar and dulce de leche.
Best Served Cold: Revenge is Sweet served with Villain Protagonist and Psycho Pink with ice cubes.
Better than Sex: An Orgasmically Delicious chocolate fudge on chocolate cake topped with caramel, honey, and vanilla whipped cream.
Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: A slice of cake with sweet, sugared buttercream frosting on the outside and a sour, tart lemon-flavored inside.
Black Comedy: A black-currant popsicle with a morbid joke printed on the stick.
Black Is Bigger in Bed: A huge, hefty blackcurrant dark chocolate loaf cake.
Blonde, Brunette, Redhead: Three large brownies; one blondie, one chocolate, and one strawberry.
Blow You Away: A light and airy sugarfree vanilla lemon sponge cake infused with peppermint, cucumber, and matcha icing with meringue toppings to clean the palate and give a breezy sensation. For birthdays, an edible pinwheel candle made of mint and vanilla can be added to heighten the experience.
Blue Is Calm: A cup of soothing butterfly pea flower tea sorbet.
Blue Means Cold: Scoops of blue raspberry ice cream topped with frozen blueberries.
Brain Freeze: A large ice cream popsicle in the flavor of your choice that has been flash-frozen with liquid nitrogen. We strongly advise that you do not let it touch the roof of your mouth.
The Character Ice Cream Bar: An ice cream bar designed to look like your favorite cartoon character.
Cherry Blossom Girl: Cherry-filled mochis shaped liked pink cherry blossoms and cherry blossom-infused tea for the Rose-Haired Sweetie.
Chocolate Baby: Creamy milk chocolate custard, served in baby bottle.
Cold Touch Surprise: Vanilla ice cream covered with jelly cubes. Note that the jelly cubes have been frozen beforehand, and they might not look like it, but they're actually colder than the ice cream. Careful not to get Brain Freeze!
Covered in Kisses: Chocolate cake generously sprinkled with Hershey's Kisses.
A Crack in the Ice: A cup of crushed, fruit-flavored ice. Eat it before it melts!
Crowd Song: 15 small scoops of ice cream, each with a dollop of one of our dessert sauces.
Crunchtastic: A big and crunchy milk chocolate candy bar.
Cue the Shooting Star: A tray of vanilla cupcakes, all of which have star-shaped sprinkles.
Deep-Fried Whatever: Choice of deep-fried cake, ice cream, candy bar, sweet cream cheese, or soda-infused tempura batter.
Donut Mess with a Cop: A tray of donuts with blue and black frosting and sprinkles, served with your choice of coffee.
Easter Bunny: A large white chocolate bunny that comes with a basket of chocolate eggs.
Either "World Domination", or Something About Bananas: Bananas Foster, served in a collectable ceramic cup fashioned to resemble a famous landmark.
Eye Scream: Vanilla ice cream coated in cherry syrup and chocolate eyeball candies.
Flowers of Romance: Two apple rose tarts, surrounded by a medley of crystallized and candied flowers.
Gelatinous Encasement: A gelatine dessert in the flavor of your choice with marshmallows and fruit pieces encased within.
Good Angel, Bad Angel: Your choice of either a large angel slice or a slab of devil's food cake. Will you be naughty or nice?
Granny Classic: A plate of warm chocolate-chip cookies.
- Never Mess with Granny: A variant with chili powder sprinkled on top.
Grapes of Luxury: High-quality grapes (your choice of black, red, or green) dipped in Swiss chocolate.
Hailfire Peaks: A bowl of vanilla ice cream with hot chocolate fudge and cinnamon candies on top.
Heartbreak and Ice Cream: A choice of a gallon of rocky road, double dutch, or strawberries and cream to soothe broken hearts.
An Ice Person: Mint and chocolate flavored bingsu sprinkled with powdered milk with ice served below freezing point for that extra coolness.
It Always Rains at Funerals: Chocolate cake drizzled with blue raspberry syrup and topped with toasted marshmallows.
Jolly Roger: Skeleton Motif mixed with additional chocolate pieces of eight and a bottle of butter rum.
Lecherous Licking: A single-spire popsicle with trapped carbonation that comes to life when you lick it, coming in flavors like cream soda, butter-beer, root beer, and cola. Served super cold, so biting is a bad idea.
Lesser Star: A star-shaped cookie with space-colored frosting.
Level Ate: One big, expertly-crafted diorama made of cake with all sorts of sweet ornaments (cookies, colorful caramels, cherries, etc.) to decorate its landscape. Tailored for mass parties and big family reunions.
Little People Are Surreal: A dish of mini gingerbread men, all iced to give the impression of them wearing formal clothing.
Magic Kiss: A slice of frosted cake sprinkled with Hershey's Kisses, Milky Way Magic Stars, and edible glitter.
Marshmallow Dream: Very hot melting marshmallows with cherry sauce.
Marshmallow Hell: Two giant marshmallows that want to have your face planted into them. Served with chocolate syrup and your choice of ice cream.
Mars Wants Chocolate: One giant scoop of ice cream shaped like a planetoid with chopped up pieces of Mars Bars embedded within.
Mellow Mantas: Giant marshmallows shaped like manta rays.
Mighty Glacier: A low-cost option for the frugal consumer, this dessert is a large block of the freezer-burned ice-cream from the back of our fridge. Eat it now before the health inspectors get wise!
Mining for Cookies: A slab of rocky road dessert with pieces of cookie dough embedded within.
Misfortune Cookie: A giant fortune cookie with complementary Lethal Chef, Fire-Breathing Diner, Masochist's Meal (half-sized), Colon Cancer, or Penny-Pinching Crab, depending on the message within the cookie.
Moon Rabbit: Honey glazed gelatinous rice cake with strawberry or carrot filling.
Nutritional Nightmare: An eclair the size of a baby with ice cream instead of whipped cream and rich chocolate ganaché topping (basically, the Killer Eclair from that one episode of The Simpsons, sans poison). Diners must sign a waiver before eating.
Orange/Blue Contrast: Blue Is Calm mixed with Vibrant Orange. The sweet and soothing taste of calming tea sorbet mixed with the vibrant, energetic taste of orange sorbet makes for a well-balanced experience.
Piggy Bank: A hollow ruby chocolate pig filled with milk, dark, and white chocolate coins.
The Pig-Pen: Chocolate pudding with a cookie crumble on top and gummy worms.
Pink Is Erotic: A pink-frosted erotic cake in the shape of a butt, penis, vagina, or breasts. If you're prudish, we can turn the butt cake upside down and pretend it's a heart.
Plenty of Blondes: A freshly-baked blondie topped vanilla ice-cream smothered in caramel syrup.
The Prankster: A cream pie with a side of seltzer. Comes with one of those fake cans of peanuts that has rubber snakes pop out.
Primary-Color Champion: Three flavored pie topped with apples, mangoes, and blueberries fit for champions.
Princesses Prefer Pink: Ruby chocolate multilayered cake with melon and pink lemonade zing, topped with maraschino cherries, fit for a princess.
Rainbow Motif: A rainbow frosted vanilla cake with seven layers representing the different colors of the rainbow and covered with a ton of rainbow sprinkles.
Real Men Wear Pink: Pink-frosted cake added with whiskey and extra cinnamon filling.
Revenge is Sweet: A black forest cake that's covered in red icing; the knife for you to cut it with comes already stabbed in.
Road Apples: A serving of house-made chocolate-apple fudge, in the shape of something more...questionable.
Rock Monster: A life-sized stick of rock candy in the flavor of your choice.
Secondary Color Nemesis: Three flavored pie topped with pumpkin, key lime, and purple yam for that extra edge.
Ship Sinking: A banana split boat with all three choices from the "Heartbreak and Ice Cream" selection for the brokenhearted fan.
Sickeningly Sweet: Fifteen scoops of ice cream on a cake in the flavors of your choice, covered in marshmallows, licorice, chocolate chips, wafers, thirty-four types of candies, gummies and frosting, topped off with a helping of powdered sugar. Not recommended for those with underlying medical conditions.
Skeleton Motif: An assortment of sugar skull candies and jelly bones.
Smashing Watermelons: Watermelon-flavored shaved ice. Served in the emptied out watermelon.
Snowball Fight: Icy snow cones with a variety of flavors.
Solar and Lunar: Smooth ice cream with delicious cinnamon swirls.
Something about a Rose: A rosewater-flavored almond yogurt parfait layered with a medley of rose shaped candied fruit consisting of apples, pears, strawberries, cherries, raspberries, and peaches, covered with rose syrup, sprinkled with edible rose petals, chopped almonds, and cherries on top, for the rosy romantics.
Splash of Color: A serving of black and white ice-cream and vanilla cake, topped with rainbow sprinkles.
Spoiled Sweet: A slice of the fanciest cake topped with rainbow sprinkles, dipped in lemon juice, and swirls of salted caramel sauce, with hint of additional sugar.
Sticky Situation: Sticky toffee pudding with honey and bubblegum balls.
The Stoner: A batch of CBD chocolate chip cookies. May cause uncontrollable laughter. (Must be 18 or older to order; Per Troperian law, ID must be presented to the waiter.)
Strawberry Shorthand: Strawberry shortcake (the dessert, not the character) with a side of either ice cream with strawberries or a frozen strawberry milkshake.
Studded Shell: A cup of ice cream with a chocolate, sprinkle-covered hard shell.
Sugar-and-Ice Personality: A sugary slice of chocolate-cake paired with an ice-cream of your choice, and up to three toppings for "personality".
Sugar Bowl: A bowl of puppy chow made from various type of candy.
Sugary Malice: Bitch in Sheep's Clothing with additional sugar on the outside and chili salt on the inside.
Sweets of Temptation: A selection of gourmet chocolate truffles. One of them is filled with 99.8% pure capsaicin, so choose wisely!
Sweet Tooth: An ice cream sundae with every type of candy imaginable and covered in a liberal amount of sprinkles.
Sweetness Aversion: Sugar-free, diabetic-friendly pound cake.
Tempting Apple: A large pink lady apple coated with ruby chocolate, too tempting to resist!
Tropical Epilogue: A scoop each of pineapple, mango, and coconut sorbet.
True Final Boss: Five pounds of assorted ice cream, topped with whiskey caramel, spicy fudge drizzle, whipped cream, and a single cherry.^note
Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Perfect for couples. Green-apple cobbler and Red Velvet cake.
Vanilla Protagonist: A simple scoop of vanilla ice cream, surrounded by your choice of flavorful candy toppings.
Vibrant Orange: A cup of delicious orange sorbet.
Villain Protagonist: The Vanilla Protagonist with chocolate ice cream, devil's food cake pieces, and a cinnamon-whiskey caramel sauce.
Winter of Starvation: A teaspoon-sized scoop of vanilla ice cream, sprinkled with a flurry of sugar.
Wintry Auroral Sky: Three layers of blueberry, mint, and blue moon ice cream, with rainbows sprinkles on top.
Your Head Asplode: Brain Freeze coated with chili-chocolate and mint sauce and breaded with a layer of ground-up Pop Rocks. Eat it too quickly, and it will make your head feel like it's gonna blow.

Specials

All Your Colors Combined: A fruity dessert drink that combines the Red Bull and strawberries from the Red Baron, the Vibrant Orange sorbet, the Yellow Snow slushie, the green apple juice from Green and Mean, the Blue Is Calm sorbet, the passionfruit and lavender from Purple Prose, and the Psycho Pink juice.
Amusement Park: A delicious platter of carnival food, featuring giant corn dogs, popcorn (sweet, salted, or caramel), funnel cake, toffee apples, cotton candy, snow cones, churros, pretzels, fried chicken and turkey legs, waffle fries, nachos, milkshakes, and more!
Animation Bump: For the cartoon enthusiast. A Flat Character and a Scooby Stack, with the main course being a Krabby Patty, ratatouille, chowder, grilled cheese, or spinach. Dessert is your choice between The Character Ice Cream Bar or jawbreakers.
Animeland: An all-Japanese combo meal, featuring a platter of sushi and sashimi, pork buns, soba and udon noodles, tempura-battered vegetables, onigiri, sake rice wine, and a bucket of Japanese ice cream endorsed by your favorite anime character.
Beach Episode: A Giant Enemy Crab, a tuna hoagie sandwich or Summer Romance, a glass of your choice of lemonade, iced tea, or pina colada, and either Smashing Watermelons or Tropical Epilogue for dessert.
Birthday Buddies: A treat for kids' parties — A large cheese pizza, and ice cream served in special cups designed to look like fun monsters each kid can take back home with them.
The Bogan: A Four'n'Twenty meat pie with chips and tomato sauce, with a can of beer from your choice of Australian mass-market brewers. For an extra $5, we'll float the meat pie in a bowl of split pea soup.
Casting a Shadow: A salad made from a medley of nightshade vegetables (including potatoes, tomatoes, eggplant, and pepper), dark meat from duck and chicken, dark chocolate cake for dessert, and black grape soda.
Cheesy Moon: A wheel of warm baked Camembert with a side of blue moon ice cream.
Christmas Episode: Glazed ham served with a side of mashed potatoes, hot chocolate (with marshmallows and whipped cream) or eggnog, and your choice of either gingerbread or sugar cookies for dessert (or a normal-sized version of Everyone Hates Fruit Cakes if you're feeling brave).
City People Eat Sushi: An Omakase-style sushi set from the finest sushi masters we can hire. Book in advance, and we'll see to it you get the seat with the finest view of the city we have.
Classical Elements Ensemble: A four-in-one meal consisting of the Playing with Fire pasta, the Dishing Out Dirt toad-in-the-hole, the Making a Splash drink, and the Blow You Away cake.
- Fire, Water, Wind: The Classical Elements Ensemble sans the Dishing Out Dirt toad-in-the-hole, but with an additional helping of Playing with Fire, a bigger glass of Making a Splash, and an extra slice of Blow You Away.
- Land, Sea, Sky: The Classical Elements Ensemble sans the Playing with Fire pasta, but with an additional helping of Dishing Out Dirt, a bigger glass of Making a Splash, and an extra slice of Blow You Away.
- Element No. 5: The Classical Elements Ensemble with your choice of an additional "element" item from the menu; the Green Thumb salad, the An Ice Person bingsu, or the Shock and Awe latte.
Cold Turkeys Are Everywhere: Get a cold turkey club between each course, and another to take home for lunch tomorrow.
Combo Platter Powers: Your choice of any four options from the "elements" list of dishes (Casting a Shadow counts as two).
Comfort Food: For when the day's been awful. Extra cheesy homestyle bacon macaroni and cheese, personal-sized Meat Lover's pizza, Better than Sex for dessert, and bottomless refills on "Let Us Never Speak of This Again" or "I Need a Freaking Drink!" cocktails, beer, or "Healing Potion" mocktails. Staff members will be reminded that you probably DON'T want to "talk about it."
Conspiracy Theorist: String Theory and Mystery Meat with a side of alphabet pasta with question mark shapes in it. Who is "Pepe Silvia"? Where did the meat come from? Why is it so delicious? You'll have to tuck in and find out!
Corrupt Politician: Don't worry, we didn't need to grease any palms to get this on the menu—though a small barrel of your choice of pork ribs or pork butt might get yours plenty greased. Comes with your choice of coleslaw or a bun, and a small slush-fund—er, slushie.
Deck of Wild Cards: Get a random big meal, with two random appetizers and a random drink.
Dragons Up the Yin Yang: A platter of authentic Chinese food fit for a dragon! Includes chow mein, fried rice, kung pao chicken, sweet and sour pork, duck pancakes, prawn crackers, seaweed, sesame seed toast, and (of course) fortune cookies.
Eats Babies: Baby-back ribs and veal steaks combo platter, with a side of balût.
Eating Lunch Alone: A lunch special for the solitary customer- a personal-pan pizza with your choice of toppings, a cookie for dessert, and a drink of your choice. This meal is only allowed to be ordered by people who're stopping in alone.
Eagleland: An all-American combo meal, featuring hot dogs with ketchup and mustard, cheeseburgers, buffalo wings, barbequed ribs, pizza, fries, apple pie, a bucket of cotton candy, and your choice of two-liter soft drink.
Easter Episode: Roast lamb joint with a side of cooked ham and caramelized carrots, hot cross buns, and chocolate eggs for dessert. Perfect for Easter, or any other time of year!
Fire, Ice, Lightning: A three-in-one meal consisting of the Playing with Fire pasta, the An Ice Person bingsu, and the Shock and Awe latte.
Five-Token Band: A meal set consisting of white bread, southern black-eyed peas, carne asada, Arab salad, and matcha latte boba tea.
Four-Seasons Level: A four-in-one meal consisting of spring salad, grilled summer sausage, pumpkin spiced latte or apple cider, and a Winter of Starvation.
Gassy Gastronomy: A bean and sprout salad with cabbage in place of lettuce leaves, a bowl of spicy chili, stewed prunes for dessert and a one-liter bottle of soft drink to wash it down with. Finish it all without burping or farting and you get a medal!
Genre Mashup: An all-in-one meal, featuring your choice of a (quarter portion of) one item from each and every menu category.
Gluttonous Pig: A combination of A Pig Named "Porkchop" and Messy Pig with additional The Pig-Pen dessert, bacon strips, and poutine.
Halloween Episode: Magic Cauldron, Lovecraft Country, or Creepypasta served with a side of roast pumpkin, a glass of fruit punch with "eyeballs" (lychees with a blueberry in them), and Skeleton Motif and Crunchtastic for dessert. Order this while wearing a costume and get 10% off your order!
Heal It with Nature: Pick two out of a Memory-Restoring Melody, Innate Night Vision, and Soup Is Medicine selection, with a Hot Drink Cure to heal the body and a dessert of your choice to lift your spirits.
I Am Very British: An all-British combo meal, featuring traditional fish and chips, a full English breakfast with the works, toad-in-the-hole, Shepard's pie, tea and crumpets, roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, and spotted dick.
Impromptu Campfire Cookout: Skewers of food roasted over our stovetop. You supply the food, and we'll cook it on request.
Journey to the Sky: The best culinary companion for long airplane trips. Chop-suey accompanied with crispy-baked chicken wings and salted French fries.
Land Down Under: Traditionally-cooked damper with vegemite, your choice of (A) a meat platter with grilled steak, sausages, and kangaroo, (B) a works burger with a beef patty, lettuce, cheese, tomato, fried onions, beetroot, pineapple, bacon and fried egg, or (C) a chicken parmigana, and a pavlova for dessert, accompanied by your choice of Australian beer or wine.
Language of Love: You and your partner two out of Pink Is Erotic, Magic Kiss, Ugly Guy, Hot Wife, and Something about a Rose. Comes with a special Word Salad Title which includes heart-shaped pasta for both parties.
Manchild: An adult-sized plate of our chicken nuggets and your choice of fries or smiley potatoes, plus either The Pig-Pen, a miniature Princesses Prefer Pink, or a Vanilla Protagonist. Upgrade to chicken tenders for an extra $5.
- Psychopathic Manchild: The above, but with our special spice mixture on the nuggets, curly fries, and the option of a Villain Protagonist.
Matryoshka Object: Body of Bodies with bacon-wrapped stuffing balls stuffed into a quail stuffed into the chicken beforehand, the whole thing cut up into slices and wrapped in a pancake.
Messy Pig: A pulled pork sandwich on a roll with just a bit too much filling for the bun. Side of chips and gravy (upgrade to poutine for $2); Soda-Can Shakeup beverage. Served with a fork and extra napkins. Comes with a double portion of The Pig Pen for dessert.
Milkman Conspiracy: A Conspiracy Theorist, Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys, and Secret Snack Stash combo, with a giant glass of milk on the side. Order it in secret, because you never know who might be listening...
Moose and Maple Syrup: Roasted moose boeuf seasoned with chili and accompanied with biscuits spread in maple syrup.
The Movie Buff: Peking duck, ratatouille, shawarma, Chilean sea bass, beef ram-don, beignets, and pastrami and rye sandwiches on a clapperboard-shaped platter. For $5 extra, wash it down with a vanilla milkshake.
New Year Has Come: A large cake in the shape of a clock with edible numbered candles that form the number of the new year and any dish of your choice served with sparklers.
Norse by Norsewest: A Nordic combo meal, featuring Smørrebrød topped with gravlax, traditionally served Swedish meatballs, lutefisk served with boiled potatoes and mashed green peas, semla, cinnamon rolls, and akvavit on the side.
Oktoberfest: A German meal set, consisting of Eisbein served with sauerkraut, varieties of German sausages, German fried potatoes, jägerschnitzel, pretzels, and apple strudel, all served with a mug of traditional brew lager beer.
Rambunctious Italian: A plate of several kinds of Italian pasta (including spaghetti, tortellini, and ravioli), homemade Sicilian pizza with your choice of toppings, and a bucket of gelato in the flavor of your choice.
Random Effect Spell: We spin a wheel containing symbols pertaining to various Elemental Powers; the symbol it lands on determines what menu item you get. The available symbols are water, fire, grass, ice, electricity, earth, wind, and shadow.
Smorgasbord Test: You get to sample up to five other dishes on the menu to see which one you like best.
Splatter Horror: Made of Bologna, Mess on a Plate, and Creepypasta with additional ketchup, gravy and marinara sauce, respectively. Comes with Eye Scream with additional cherry syrup for dessert.
Stock Medieval Meal: A loaf of bread and a wedge of cheese with a wooden bowl of your choice of beef, pork, or vegetable stew, with a tankard of ale to wash it down. Served by a server in medieval garb and accompanied by music from a bard with a lute, free of charge.
St. Patrick's Day Episode: Tasty Gold with the chocolate coins served in a cauldron-shaped bowl. Accompanied by a corned beef sandwich on soda bread, a pint of your choice of Irish beer, and a mint milkshake for dessert. Order this while wearing green and get 5% off your order!
Talking in Bed: Black Is Bigger in Bed, with a Cultural Chop Suey or Awesome Underwater World to drive conversation, and a Nitro Boost to prevent you from falling asleep.
Thanksgiving Episode: Thanksgiving Turkey served with stuffing, mashed potatoes, carrots, butternut squash, and gravy, with pumpkin pie for dessert. Gobble gobble!
Two Gamers on a Couch: Two Small pizzas (or one medium for no extra charge) with your choice of toppings, two 1-liter bottles of Mountain Dew, and two bags of Doritos. To-Go only. Upgrade to "LAN-Party size" for a triple portion (6 of each).
Valentine's Day Episode: Spaghetti and meatballs served with Summer Romance, a glass of Love Potion, and Something about a Rose for dessert. Couples who order this on Valentines Day get a free Ship Tease with their meal! The single, dumped, divorced, or bereaved get a pint of Heartbreak and Ice Cream on the house.
Wild Card: Our surprise special-of-the-day. It's never advertised; just order it and see what you get!

Mega Meal Challenges

A-Cup Angst: A small cup of Carolina Reaper tortilla chips. Finish the whole cup and you get a coupon for free breast implants.
Against the Grain: A dish of pasta, three bowls of cereal, a loaf of bread, half a bag of tortillas, and three bagels. Eat this and your reward is a lot of Vitamin B.
Angry Chef: A pile of food made by the chef when they're in a really bad mood. The food is different each time, but it's always made with hatred and malice...and loads of hot sauce. Eat it all in an hour or the chef will only get even angrier. Win and the chef will pay for your next meal.
Beyond the Impossible: Our ultimate eating challenge, consisting of 128 ounces of pure beef patty, 10 pounds of fries, 25 bowls of stew, 30 milkshakes, and the Planet Eater (without the other challenges). This can only ever been completed by those who choose to defy the laws of reality. Win and you get a complimentary gift basket!
Bizarre Taste in Food: Lethal Chef with a 96 oz steak with strawberry jam on the side, boiled kale, and warm beer. Eat the whole thing without getting sick and you get your picture on our Wall of Fame and your table gets half-off.
Braving the Blizzard: A gallon of vanilla ice cream kept in the back of the freezer. Guests who can finish the entire gallon before letting it melt will get fifty percent off their next order of a hot food or drink item.
Buffet Buffoonery: A buffet with a wide assortment of food and drink. Each item you eat is worth a certain number of points based on how filling, delicious, and expensive it is. You have one hour. If you can beat our high score, you get a ticket for half-off your next meal. If you can't, you get to try again...next year. Good luck!
Cold Snap: Best Served Cold, Cold Touch Surprise, An Ice Person, Mighty Glacier, Snowball Fight, and Your Head Asplode. Finish it all and you get free hot drinks every day for the next month (helpful for thawing out your frozen tastebuds).
D-Cup Distress: Similar to A-Cup Angst challenge, but with Naga Viper chips in a cup twice the size. Finish the whole cup and you get a free breast reduction.
Deadly Droplets: A deceptively small challenge made of extremely spicy but tiny portions of various dipping sauces and bite-sized chicken nuggets. Eat the whole thing without needing to cool off, and win a bottle of your favorite sauce to take home!
Do Not Do This Cool Thing: A large mason jar of battery acid spaghetti^note. Don’t do this challenge, but if you do, and manage to drink it all, you’ll have your name and photo added to a wall of fame.
Driven to Suicide: Five orders of "Comfort Food," each with a different drink, and an added "Nutritional Nightmare" dessert. Eat the whole thing by yourself and we'll pay your therapy bills.
Everyone Hates Fruit Cakes: An extremely gigantic-sized fruitcake. Finish it all and you will get free takeaway non-fruit desserts for your choices.
Fight for the Last Bite: A race for two guests or more over a platter of unevenly distributed food, such as pizza, chicken wings, or jalapeño poppers. Whoever gets the last bite is the winner and gets to go home with a special medal.
Grub Tub: A large, bath-tub sized tin of gummy worms. If you manage to finish it without getting sick, you get a month pass to the local spa.
Haggis Is Horrible: An absurdly huge Haggis. If you manage to finish it within 7 minutes, you get a free coupon for every kind of meat dish available in the café.
The Ham Squad: Six large orders of pork, served in a different way each time. Finish it all and your name will be added to a list of winners.
Heat Wave: Badass Boast, either Greek Fire or Lava Pot Volcano, Tomboy and Girly Girl with Psycho Pink instead of milkshake, Hot Wings with all three kinds of sauce, either Fiery Redhead or Playing with Fire, and Afro Asskicker. Finish it all and you get free ice cream every day for the next month (no doubt you'll need it to put out the fire in your mouth).
Masochist's Meal: Grilled Casu Marzu cheese sandwich (yes, with live worms) with Ghost-pepper sauce, English Mustard, and a slice of fermented shark, served with stuffed and deep-fried Carolina Reapers on the side. Plain water beverage. If you can eat the whole thing (and survive), your table eats free.
Mouth of Sauron: A very spicy set of wings reserved for the Wing-It Contest. Customers are required to sign a waiver before they eat these wings.
Mutually Assured Destruction: A grudge-match specialty! A distinctly spicy curry is served to each customer involved in the match, small bowl by small bowl. Every participant has to eat one for each one the other eats. The first one to tap out loses, but for both parties, if they don't feel it today, they'll feel it tomorrow for sure. As always, the only winning move is not to play...but don't let us stop you!
Ocean of Adventure: One of every item from the Seafood category. Finish it all and get a golden trophy shaped like King Neptune's trident!
Planet Eater: A special challenge combining every other challenge together. You'd need to be able to eat a planet to win, but if you succeed you get a special ticket for 75% off your meal for the rest of the year.
Product Delivery Ordeal: A 10-year supply of evergreen food sent to your house, transported at a glacial pace due to its overwhelming size and weight.
Raising the Steaks: One of every item from the Steaks category. Finish it all and get one steak of your choice every day for a week, plus a free t-shirt with "Raise The Steaks" written on the front.
Real Men Eat Meat: A challenge for only the biggest carnivores, consisting of two orders of Let's Meet the Meat with 75 oz steaks, either a Large Ham or an order of Evil Is Hammy, Sausage String Silliness with a 10 foot sausage chain, an order of Rack Focus, three Big Guys with extra bacon, a plate full of Hot Wings and a either a Thanksgiving Turkey or Body of Bodies. If you can stomach this ton of protein, you'll receive a T-Rex trophy.
Replay Mode: A voucher that allows you to order the same meal you ate, at no additional cost. The catch? You have to eat the meal then and there, while your stomach is still digesting the first round. Wanna give it a try?
Soda-Candy 'Splosion: An entire bottle of Diet Coke, served with a full pack of mentos. Mix them together and drink up before it spills everywhere. Winners get a free meal to take home.
Spaghetti Kiss: One of every item from the Pasta category with an entire cake's worth of either Covered in Kisses or Magic Kiss.
Sugar Apocalypse: Two Crowd Songs, Mellow Mantas, a Secondary Color Nemesis, a Rock Monster, and a Studded Shell. You'll most likely never want to eat sugar again.
Stockholm Syndrome: (Must sign a waiver and consent form first) A can of cold Surströmming, eaten while tied to your chair. Finish it all without vomiting, and you’ll win a platinum ticket for free meals for life. If that doesn’t make you love us, we don’t know what will!
Unwinnable: Our special eating challenge, consisting of 96 ounces of our juiciest medium rare steak, 1 pound of curly fries, 1 and a half pounds of mashed potatoes covered in gravy, 5 large milkshakes, 3 large sodas, and 5 large bowls of stew. If you and only one other eat this in less than an hour, you get a special ticket for half off any meal for the rest of the year.
World Tour: Five items of your choice from each of Animeland, Eagleland, and I Am Very British, Land Down Under with all five options, Moose and Maple Syrup, Spexico, Glorious Mother Russia, Rambunctious Italian, Norse by Norsewest, and Oktoberfest. Finish it all, and you get a Golden Globe (no, not that kind).

Loyalty Program

And Your Reward Is Edible: Every tenth visit, get ONE free meal.
Bizarro Elements: Order Four-Element Ensemble, and the chef will add one extra mystery ingredient to each of the four dishes. It’s different for every order, so who knows what wonderfully weird flavour combinations you’ll get?
Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce: Our signature tongue-melting, steel-etching hot sauce. Available only to our loyalty program customers for legal reasons.
Children Are Innocent: Children under 12 get one free small dessert option with their meal.
Dinner and a Show: Cross-promotion with Brand X Cinemas. 10% off your movie ticket when you show your Loyalty Card.
Discount Card: Join our program and you get the Discount Card for 5% off the featured menu items.
Happy Birthday to You!: Become a part of our loyalty program and during your birth month, you are granted your choice of The Pig Pen, Moon Rabbit, or Sugar and Ice Personality on the house with your order.
Hash House Lingo: A Glossary of Terms for our chef's slangs.
Kids' Meal Toy: Buy a kids meal and get a free Robot Buddy action figure for boys, and a Princess Classic crown for girls!
Loser Buys Lunch: Invite some of your friends over to participate in our Mega Meal Challenges. Whoever wins doesn't have to pay, but the loser pays for the group!
Must Have Caffeine: Premium Membership customers get an additional 10% off of coffee beverages.
No Fair Cheating: If you and your significant other register together, you'll receive a Ship Tease upon registration! You'll also be entitled to a bonus 10% off on your anniversary of meeting/marrying, as well as your choice of Ugly Guy, Hot Wife, Lady and Knight, or another Ship Tease! Of course, trying to do that with someone different is going to come up awkwardly...We'll discreetly bill the violating party for your Heartbreak and Ice Cream.
Secret Snack Stash: Get a free gift bag of cookies, peanut butter crackers, and chocolate to take with you before you leave. Make sure to hide it well, or else everyone will want some!
Trademark Favorite Food: subscribe to our premium membership, get 10% off on your order when you use our Rewards Card. Tell us your favorite and get another 5% off when you order it.

Discontinued Dishes

Dish orders and challenges that were there, but have been taken off the menu.

Baby Got Back: Large hams stuffed with baby back ribs. Served and mixed a lot.
Bacon Addiction: Bacon strips wrapped with more bacon strips inside a giant ball of bacon sprinkled with bacon bits.
Blessed Are The Cheesemakers: A bowl of macaroni pasta with 50 different cheeses, including cheddar, parmesan, mozzarella, pepper jack and gruyere. Inspired by that one episode of Epic Meal Time.
Brother Chuck: Orange soda with tapioca pearls. Mysteriously taken off the menu.
Bowties Are Cool: Farfalle pasta salad with mint, cucumber and celery.
Bubbly Clouds: Meringue nests topped with whipped cream and white chocolate Aero mousse.
Canada, Eh?: An all-Canadian combo meal for those who want the finest cuisine from the Great White North. This combo has it all: Poutine, Montreal-style smoked meat served with bannock, Split Pea Soup, Nova Scotia lobster rolls, Ketchup chips, Cesar Cocktail and Smoked Salmon. Choice of Flipper pie, butter tart or Nanaimo bar for dessert.
Date Crêpe: Sweet crepes of any flavor where the couple has to bite each other's crêpes. No sleeping pills were added in making these crepes. Discontinued due to the name.
Everything's Better With Chocolate: Dark Belgian mousse triple layer cake topped with dark chocolate fudge icing, white chocolate bits, and ruby chocolate sprinkles. Complementary drinks include hot chocolate or chocolate shake, both topped with white chocolate whipped cream, dark chocolate syrup, and ruby chocolate sprinkles.
"I Eat Metaphors For Breakfast": A breakfast challenge where the customers have to walk on a yard long eggshell path for their free breakfast full of food-based Literal Metaphors.
How Do You Like Them Apples?: An apple dessert trifecta consisting of apple cinnamon pie, apple parfait, and apple matcha shake.
Kissgusting: Squick-flavored kisses chocolate.
Root BEER: Beer-flavored sarsaparilla without the alcohol. Best with cold turkey sandwich.
Salt And Pepper: A bowl of candy for dessert: Saltwater taffy and peppermint disks. Best for duos.
She's Got Legs: A four piece combo all legs and thighs, served either grilled or fried. Served with mixed veggies and your choice of baked potato, mashed potatoes, or steak fries.
Super Grape: A sugary grape soda with added grape-flavored whipped cream on top.
This And That: Sushi bar full of innuendo-laden picks.
Zettai Ryouiki: Fried chicken legs with edible paper stockings.

Just For Fun / TV Tropes Café

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