Just For Fun / TV Tropes Additional Hero Vows Pod D

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301. Remember one thing about being a defender in a siege - if my base is properly set up, I can simply wait for rescue, as my friends and allies should receive word of my need, especially if messages have been sent out.
302. In the event that I am wealthy, as is another family or group, if they decide to go into an area of business that's beyond my understanding, I shall not enter into a pointless competition with them by entering into the same business. This also applies to things like vehicles, home decorations, weaponry, and other such things.
303. Make sure that the armor that my forces use is appropriate to the situation. Depending on the forces I'm fighting against, or with, changes might need to be made.
304. Neither combination locks nor numeric keypads will be used for any door at our base. You would be surprised to learn how many such devices have all-7 combinations.
305. It is safer to assume that a minority group will understand, if not necessarily speak, the language of the majority, than to assume that they do not understand. It might keep one from accidentally, or intentionally, offending the wrong sort of people, especially if they can also use the language of the majority.
306. Even if I have superpowers, there's nothing wrong with having some normal, unpowered, bodyguards. After all, they can handle average threats, like obsessed/crazy fans, would-be thieves, and those guys that just want to pick a fight with me, without me doing potentially unneeded injury to regular people. Of course, if the threat is serious, as in a supervillain with powers is challenging me, I want them to help out with crowd control, and get everyone else away from the area.
307. When I have three separate forces in battle, I will begin by putting my weakest group up against the Overlord's strongest and my strongest against his Weakest. My intermediates will be put up against their intermediates. As the Overlord's weakest are decimated, my strongest can join my intermediates, and they can then come in to assist my weakest against the last remaining opposition.
308. Remember to use a weapon that's practical to the given situation. If I can use a crossbow to snipe an enemy at a distance, instead of trying to charge at them from over three hundred feet away with just a knife, do it.
309. I shall not hold the crimes of a people's ancestors against them. After all, it wasn't like they were involved in their ancestors' crimes, for the most part.
310. When it comes to food information, make sure to list nutrition content for eating/drinking the entire package. Granted, it might not stop people from eating 800+ calories worth of snacks, but at least they'd be aware of the amount.
311. No matter how awesome or sexy an outfit looks, should my troops be unable to complete the safe and basic obstacle course in it, to say nothing about the more advanced, and riskier, obstacle course, I shall not make my troops wear said outfit.
312. If I own a store that has a butcher section, or sells meat in bulk, and I have a customer, or customers, who buy a lot of meat, or packets of blood for "homemade blood sausage", and the world becomes unmasked, revealing them to be things like werewolves, vampires, and various other monsters known for eating a lot of meat, or blood, I will not freak out and try to kick them from the store - not that it would work too well anyways, unless they were very cooperative at leaving. Instead, I'll just give them a nice discount, which will encourage them to keep shopping at my store, and keep would-be thieves away, which isn't too different from why doughnut shops like to give out free doughnuts to cops, especially if the other stores lock their doors to such people.
313. Should The Masquerade suddenly drop, and I find out that one or more of my customers at my store aren't human, I'll simply treat them as if nothing unusual had occurred, and hopefully everyone else gets the message. Last thing I need in my store is a riot at finding out that the guy picking up several hundred pounds of beef and pork, and other meats, is a werewolf.
314. Horseback riding is not too good for me or my allies.
315. In the event that wearing a Badass Cape is the height of fashion, but I wish to prevent that age-old Cape Snag, simply wear one that can be easily removed, in order to prevent such things. Who knows - my enemy, who might be counting on this, might be the one to come undone.
316. Given that those Adventuring Villains tend to do those Dungeon Runs, I will only have a few rooms in my dungeon, but each room is big enough to hold 100+ people, and I'll have as many guards as possible in each of them. A Villains Party of 5-10 is going to be seriously messed up if they somehow make it through all 500+ worth of my various fighters, mages, rangers, mage-fighters, mage-rangers, fighter-mages, fighter-rangers, ranger-fighters, ranger-mages, and those guys that can utilize melee, magic, and ranged abilities.
317. If I am one of The Magnificent Seven Samurai, make sure to know where the other six are first before agreeing to the job.
318. Do not mess with The Union. Doing so will put me on the wrong end of The Mafia.
319. Unless there's a very good reason to do so, don't even bother having The Masquerade. That being said, if there's a very good reason to do so, uphold it.
320. If there are females in my group, I will advise them to not to attempt to seduce the Big Bad Guy. Granted, in a best case scenario, he might change sides, but in very bad cases, she might get killed by him, or end up joining him.
321. Just because I'm a handsome male, don't try charming the woman working for the Big Bad - while she might change sides, her seeming to do so might just be part of a plan to kill me.
322. In the event that I have an offspring who turns out to be disabled, homosexual, or without any powers, I will still care for them. I will be the best parent I can possibly be.
323. If I am going undercover I will wear a disguise that is practical, so that if I am unmasked my disguise will not slow me down during my escape.
324. If my disguise absolutely must be impractical (for example, wearing a dress to the Evil Overlord's party) I will instead make sure that it is as easily removable as possible and also wear a set of normal clothes under it.
325. It would be a very good idea that, if I'm in one of those Deconstruction stories, to recognize if I'm the Hero rather than the Villain I thought that I was. Things go much smoother that way, at least for myself.
326. Under no unforeseeable circumstances will I attempt to "shut the door to catch the thief." Too much can go wrong, especially early in the game.
327. Be very careful in a Fantasy Kitchen Sink type of world. There might be Talking Animal types, Animals Not to Scale types, Funny Animal types, supposedly extinct animal types, various aliens, fantasy races, mythological creatures and deities, to say nothing about powered-up humans, and normal humans who just go along with all of the really crazy things - keep an eye on that last group.
328. In the event that I can summon minions and the undead, I shall treat them well, especially if they happen to be sapient, or can gain it. After all, if I should be in a state where I can't control them, I don't want them to turn on me right away.
329. Instead of spending available funds on purely cosmetic pieces of architecture for our base, I will apply the extra budget to whatever combat expenditures most need it.
330. Of course, there's nothing wrong with adding some decorations to my military's weapons, although I'll let the individuals do that during their off time. Nothing improves a fighter's moral better than being able to paint rainbow-colored skulls and crossbones on their standard-issue M 4 A 1 - actually, that might be a scary thing to find out that someone actually did that, especially if one is on the wrong end of it!
331. In a world of Grey-and-Gray Morality, the lines between Hero and Villain tend to blur. Keep that in mind, especially in a Crapsack World.
332. If I am a Detective, or some such person, and I get stuck on a cruise who has "Solve Mysteries" as a shtick, I'll ask them for the script, so that I don't ruin the fun of the other guests. That way, when stuff really hits the fan, I'll know that it isn't an act.
333. If I am of a race with an issue to bright lights, wear sunglasses.
334. Unless I'm in the middle of a LONG bridge, I will not attempt to outrun a train or any other vehicle - I'll simply step off the tracks or road.
335. There is nothing wrong with repeating past Vows, as sometimes repetition is needed to get the idea to sink in.
336. Regardless of if it has been stated before or not, I shall see to it that my magic users, at the very least, know how to protect themselves in the event that they are unable to utilize magic, for any reason. Whether this means learning how to use a mundane weapon, or their hands, or some random object that's nearby, to inflict damage upon the enemy, any and all can be used.
337. If I end up in a close-range fight with the Evil Overlord, have him at my mercy and am in a position to knock him cold, I'll just keep punching him until his consciousness takes a coffee break. If he tries to distract me and I fall for it, I'll just end up shot in whatever's convenient for him.
338. I will make sure that the bathroom stalls at the base are wide enough for ANYONE to use them. Seriously, the only thing worse than having a bad case of diarrhea in a stall WITHOUT toilet paper, is to ALSO be in one that is WAY too small!
339. If I'm into those role-playing games, treat the NPCs as if they might be real people - sometimes you never know.
340. No matter their geographical location or equipment (including the Far East), I will treat any farm worker I encounter with the utmost respect. They can handle all kinds of resources, especially stuff that seems insignificant at first sight. (That goes double for nunchaku.)
341. If I am in a world in which Talking and/or Funny Animals are a thing I will become a vegan or vegitarian. Hamburgers may be good but not attracting the ire of a race of sentient bovine is better.
342. If one of my most trusted friend and ally, one that has proven to be a genuinely good company to my team, turns out to be The Mole, then after our inevitable confrontation - of which I will make sure to keep them alive - instead of berate about how their betrayal has hurt us, I will listen to what they have to say. It is very likely that there is a very good - and probably unfortunate - reason as of how they ended up like this. Thus, I will try to have a long and fair conversation with them before making any further decisions about them.
343. If, during our confrontation with this said mole, it's the Big Bad - not the mole themselves - who is actively gloating about foolish we were to trust the mole, or even treating the mole as disposable, then these are very good reason for me to assume that the mole is being forced to work with the big bad for one reason or another. Therefore, it is even more important for me to keep the mole alive during this confrontation and have the conversation later.
344. If I am the wizard, or another spell slinger, I'll make sure that I have a staff, one that, not only, functions as a focus for my spells, but is also strong enough to deliver a good whack if I run out of the ability to safely use spells. After all, the one thing that embarrasses the Bad Guy more than being being beaten by the hero, is to be beaten by a wizard hitting them with their staff.
345. If I find out that only one guy on my team can injure the Big Bad, and all they can do is scratch damage, by all means, me and everyone else shall distract the enemy, restrain them, blind them, insult them, all so that our teammate can inflict what damage he can, until the enemy bleeds to death or whatever.
346. My team will use a buddy system whenever they must go off on individual missions. If there is an odd number of people on my team one person will be assigned to mission control.
347. If my team consists of six or more people, nobody will be allowed to go out on missions with less than three companions.
348. Make sure that my troops are trained to use any weapon, even if it isn't one that they specialize in. No one expects that weak scout/spy fella to use a rocket launcher to blow them away. Failing that, there's always chairs.
349. Make sure that my magic users and the like can cast spells while wearing armor. After all, most foes expect the guy wearing plate armor to use a sword, not a Fireball!
350. In the event that I'm in a Fantasy or Sci-Fi setting, and I get a recruit that just seems odd, like a Centaur Rogue, I'll keep Square Race, Round Class in mind. I'll also test them to see if they can at least pass the basic requirements. For all I know, that centaur's idea of Stealth is to steal the guards' horses first before getting the item they are after - hard to get caught if they can't chase you.
351. Another reason to keep in mind Square Race, Round Class when it comes to recruiting folks who initially look like they don't fit the job - equal opportunity employment.
352. If I have a slightly annoying Crazy Is Cool teammate, I will keep them on the team for the manpower.
353. All teammates with long hair must keep it tied up above the elbows- snagged hair is dangerous.
354. Addendum to Vow #317 - if it looks like I will be considered for the Magnificent Seven Samurai and part of the screening process is a Secret Test of Character, then I will call out their bluff for an easy entry.
355. Additionally, if time allows, the recruitment should not stop when we hit three, four, five, six, seven, or nine. We need all the allies we can get. 47 is an acceptable figure at the very least.
356. If I am a rookie: if the He Who Fights Monsters figure tells me not to follow their path, I will obey. Even the most cynical of their lot would not want someone else walking their path.
357. Likewise, if I am indeed one of them, then I will not encourage others to follow my way, unless they have it thrust upon them.
358. I will keep The Nicknamer around. They're good company, and all the nicknames given help boost camaraderie.
359. For a good number of adventurers in a D&D 5e party, it would be a good idea to have one of each class. In fact, let's up the anti - one of each subclass. In fact, let's make sure that there's at least one member of each race, or even subrace, in the group. That's at least a hundred party members at any rate. Talk about representing.
360. The more uptight and egotistical a team member is, the lower the jobs they will be given. This will ensure that when they inevitably go loose cannon and try to find some way to prove that they're the hero, they will stumble upon the one thing that the rest of us missed.
361. Addendum on party/fellowship size: 108 is a good maximum target number. If it proves too cumbersome, we can simply divide ourselves into a mini version of The Alliance.
362. Those that believe in neither good nor evil, only weak or strong are the epitome of combat pragmatism.
363. When one has to pull the Gondor Calls for Aid card, remember only to use the US Postal Service, the Gondor-Rohan signal beacons, or any certified badass postal services registered under the Unstoppable Mailman page.
364. If the villains decide to disrupt your chain of messages, simply sic the said Unstoppable Mailmen on them.There's no real legal defence they have for opening federal mail or halting its transit.
365. If possible, try targeting, or at least look into the villain's finances. And if they have managed to cheat on their income taxes...
366. I will look into revealing my heroic plan to the villains straight up. We will see if they're well-trained in the art of calling one's bluff.
367. During a siege: if our aim is to survive and not victory through force of arms, then emphasize on the "survive" bit. As much as possible, gradually get evacuees and the wounded out of the besieged fortress, before finally giving the orders for the rearguard to flee.
368. As heroes (and anti-heroes), we do hold to varying levels of honor. That does not, however, mean we should needlessly die for it. Therefore, the act of harakiri or any ritual suicide as payment for lost honor is strictly forbidden, as it is a wasteful expenditure of life and talent.
369. If I ever make a bet against a villain in which my life, the lives of those I care about, or the lives of civilians are on the line and that I know I can't win, I will cheat as much as possible. The villain certainly will.
370. When dealing with Egyptian mummies, be sure to bring a cat along. Evil mummies stay clear of them for some reason. Also, cats are just so cute and cuddly - don't try to scratch their bellies when they are on their backs though.
371. I will strongly consider if I truly wish to be a Chaste Hero or Celibate Hero, since sex and romance are two of life's greatest pleasures, and I may not want to die without enjoying them.
372. If I do pursue a sexual/romantic relationship, it will not be with a civilian or peasant, since I'll be constantly away from him/her for extended periods of time. Also, he/she will definitely be used by my enemies against me. Therefore, my best option would be to form a Battle Couple with one of my teammates, if possible. I could also have one-night stands with trusted allies, but still keep my guard up in case they betray me in the bedroom.
373. Adding onto the last point, I will consider polyamory. There's a good chance of a Love Interest dying gruesomely, so why not have as many shoulders to cry on as possible?
374. I will routinely seek therapy to deal with the stresses of my heroic life, but I won't bring my therapist along, since losing him/her would be far too risky, and my therapist will consult me under a fake name so that my enemies will never learn it.
375. There is nothing wrong with having a Necromancer, or someone else who has powers that are normally used by evil people, providing that they themselves are good. Of course, just in case things go wrong, have a backup plan - two of them. One is the plan that they are aware of, in the event that the undead break free of their control, and one is the plan that they don't know, in case they do become evil.
376. Alternatively, in the case of a good-hearted Necromancer, once the need for undead minions is over, destroy said undead minions, or, at the very least, undo the magic that has them be animated. Also, limit the number of corpses that he can have to use for immediate minions to a handful.
377. If I am a hero in Dungeons and Dragons, get that book written by the witch known as Tasha. It has the means to make my allies more powerful, especially those who haven't had the sort of experience I have had. After that, get all the other books for the appropriate version of Dungeons and Dragons.
378. If I was a Martial Arts Champion back in High School, and now, some thirty-odd years later, after I've become reasonably successful, if I find out that my old Rival is setting up a school, I will not set up a competing school. Instead, I will ask if they'd like some help - funding, additional instructors, help out with stuff they aren't too familiar with, like insurance and advertising. Might prove useful to help us bury our grudges, if any of those old issues are still there.
379. In general, burying the hatchet with any old rivals is a good idea. Nothing is worse than being on a time sensitive quest and getting side tracked because an old rival wants to prove that they're better than you.
380. I will write down information on anyone who interacts with me throughout my childhood and up through my college years, as it's impossible to tell who might be important later.
381. If I receive a warning from a bad future that an old foe of mine will strike back, not attacking said foe on the basis of "they're not doing anything wrong right now" is an in invalid excuse. The fact that they were willing to harm me in the past and are willing to do so again is enough causus belli for me.
382. However, if trying to avert said cause right then and there will only make things worse, then that is good enough reason to let it pass. Waiting for it to give me a good fight however, is not.
383. Any group that decides to shame people into joining my ranks, like those White Feather ladies, will find themselves shamed, and perhaps shunned. In fact, this is especially true if I ask the members of this group to join and they refuse — never make someone do something you yourself are unwilling to do.
384. If I am a Hero in the 5th edition of Dungeons and Dragons, and if me and the other Heroes end up getting a number of followers and companions, and the like, see to it that they study their Tasha's. That Witch can take a being, who is normally a CR of 1/2 or lower, and turn them into a force to be reckoned with. On the same note, be careful if the Villain has also had his minions study Tasha's, especially if his minions were of better quality to begin with.
385. If I end up buying or inheriting a business, see about spending a few days in each position, that way I know what needs work, and get ideas on how to fix the position. Also, it's a useful way to figure out who is dead weight.
386. If I have the power of flight, I will chose to use it, and not stand around on the ground fighting the villain who does not have this power.
387. I will instruct my love interest(s) in the art of 'fighting back' just in case they are captured.
388. I will not even attempt this cloning business, it always turns out badly.
389. When my Love Interest, Sidekick, Lancer or any other member of my team dies, I will not spend a solid minute screaming Nooooo, if something is dangerous enough to kill them, it can kill me too.
390. A thought out ploy is better than a frontal assault.
391. I will not give my opponent a weapon before fighting him, I'll just chop his head off.
392. While not a particularly good place for my core allies to go, shady taverns may not be such a bad place for my Anti-Hero allies.
393. I will never say, "I'll take him on alone." I will instead rush at the person I want dead with all my forces.
394. I will never leave an opponent for dead.
395. I will be very wary of any Conspiracy Nut that is assassinated by the Evil Overlord. It is entirely possible this was just misdirection to prevent me from discovering his real plan.
396. The doors in my base will have two locks, one a fake lock in the shape of a simple keyhole and one that is more secure and hidden from those who aren't looking. That way, anybody breaking into my base will spend more time looking for the key or trying to pick the fake lock than actually breaking into my base.
397. If I am in a turn based rpg or tactics game with voice acting, I will make sure to come up with a large variety of quotes to say upon being selected, dealing damage, being healed, etc in order to keep things interesting. I will advise my friends and companions (and maybe even my enemies) to do the same.
398. Even if I'm a Flying Brick I will use more strategy than just flying in with a punch — there's the ability to drop nets on folks too!
399. Don't forget to level grind. It's embarrassing when those I defeated once before come back and wipe the floor with me — and I don't mean that both of us clean the floors!
400. Make sure that regular non-Hero allies ALSO level grind, and get better equipment. The look on the Villain's face can be rather funny when they see that the nominal red and mauve shirts have the +3 equivalents of weapons, armor, and shields, among other special items.