Groin Attack / Literature

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Groin Attacks in Literature.

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Played for Comedy

• 1Q84: Aomame is aware that the quickest and best way to taking down a man is to kick them in the groin. As such, part of her self-defense training included teaching women how to do just that with precision, using a mannequin with fake testicles as a target. The male members of the club eventually got uncomfortable with this practice and Aomame was forced to retire the mannequin.
• Reynard the Fox: Older Than Print: In this medieval tale a cat named Tybald attacks the crotch of a Roman Catholic priest and bites off one of his testicles.
• These tend to show up in Discworld books.
  • Sam Vimes is familiar with giving and receiving, for one. Also from the Watch books, Carrot Ironfoundersson received a codpiece as a going-away gift from a friend of his (adopted) father, though he was initially naive enough to think no one would dare strike someone else there. He wore it anyway. A few days into the job, though, someone tried...and broke his knee on the "Protective".
  • Definitely implied that Sam receives one in during his "seeing-to" by the old City Watch in Night Watch Discworld.
  • One of these inspires a villain in Monstrous Regiment after he tries to put the moves on Polly "Oliver" Perks when she's dressed up as a boy dressed up as a girl. Yes, that makes sense. The same book also has a scene where the protagonist is bitten by a horse to the place where her family jewels would be, were she actually male (she keeps a bundle of socks there, instead). The sole male witness quickly faints, and after he comes to Polly hastily explains that her trousers were baggy enough the horse didn't do any damage.
    • Leading to a Funny Moment in which Polly, desperately trying to maintain the illusion and recalling what real boys do when they're subject to Groin Attack, laments "Ooh! Aargh! Right inna fruit!" and punches the horse on the nose.
  • One dwarven saying (the modern, bowdlerized version is "every tree is felled at the same height") is, "When their hands are above your head, your teeth are level with their crotch." The implications water the eyes.
  • To Cohen the Barbarian and his Silver Horde, psychological warfare consists of spending the night before a big battle intimidating the enemy with chants of: "We're going to cut your tonkers off". Performing this operation on your worst enemy and then offering it as a present is likewise their idea of how to impress a woman.
  • In Guards! Guards!, Corporal Nobbs kicks Detritus the Troll in the stones^note Which, this being a Discworld troll, are similar to actual stones, and nearly breaks his foot. (Groin attacks are actually Nobbs' S.O.P., since he's too scrawny to fight almost anyone fair and square, which is why he wears steel-toed boots.)
    "Have trolls got stones?"
    "Stands to reason."
  • Also from Guards! Guards!: Sergent Colon to Nobby Nobbs. "You know all about 'voonerables', Nobby. I've watched you fight." Unfortunately their attempted attack on the dragon's "voonerables" fails because it was a girl.
  • Mort gets one from Death himself. Even Cutwell had to wince.
  • In order to properly shoe unruly stallions, Jason Ogg threatens to do this to them. With a smithing hammer. Likewise, You Bastard the camel recognizes a similar implied threat in Pyramids, in the form of two bricks. This references an old joke about a bet between two French Foreign Legionaires, one of whom claimed he could make a camel jump straight up in the air...
  • In Carpe Jugulum, after blocking two slaps from Agnes Nitt's Split Personality Perdita, Vlad the vampyre discovers that he's got no hands left and Perdita has a knee in reserve.
  • Arnold Sideways of the Canting Crew, a band of near-legendary Ankh-Morpork beggars, is considered a useful asset in a fight despite having no legs because "a man with good teeth at groin height has things his own way". He also has a boot on the end of a stick, meaning that many thieves desperate enough to attack the beggars would find themselves kicked in the head by a man four feet high.
  • Granny Weatherwax gives an Elf a double-handed punch in the area in Lords and Ladies.
  • In Going Postal and Making Money, Adora Belle Dearheart gives, threatens, and attempts a few of these. And in Making Money Moist von Lipwig gets one from Owlswick Jenkins.
  • In Ankh-Morpork, this is generally preceded by the phrase "Kick him 'inna fork!"
  • In The Fifth Elephant, Gaspode the Wonder Dog snarls "This is how you win a dogfight!" before biting an angry werewolf in the junk. The book also involves another mention of Detritus getting kicked in the stones; he was quite pissed, but the one responsible was left with a nasty limp.
  • In Small Gods Om does this to an eagle near the end of the book. As the Annotated Prachett File notes, eagles don't actually have that particular piece of anatomy, but no reason to let that get in the way of a good joke. Especially when it's the climax to a Running Gag of the book about having someone's "full attention" in your grasp.
  • In Unseen Academicals, after the Academicals win the Big Game, a furious Andy Shank tries to get one last cheap shot in by kicking Trev Likely in the fork... and nearly breaks his foot, because Trev is wearing a pair of micromail boxer shorts thoughtfully provided by armorer/fashion designer Pepe.
  • In Raising Steam Moist Von Lipwig aims a kick at the groin of a dwarf ^note whose sex is ambiguous like most Discworld dwarfs and prays desperately that it isn't female. The dwarf reacts in pain, and Moist takes that as confirmation that it's male.
  • Delivered (with teeth) by sentient rat Darktan to a rat-coursing terrier in The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents - leading to the dog trying to scramble out of the walled pit and providing Darktan with a handy ladder.
• Jim Butcher's Proven Guilty, in The Dresden Files, uses this near the end of the book, when Harry and the others are escaping from the bad guys, but are about to get overrun by yetis. Harry stops, turns, and uses his sword to stab the lead yeti in the jimmies. The others all stop and stare, because the sword is Cold Iron and the yeti is one of The Fair Folk, meaning that its junk goes up in flames. This is accompanied by the line, "If you've got danglies and can lose them, that's the kind of sight that makes you reconsider the genitalia-related ramifications of your actions real damned quick."
  • In the short story "Heorot", Harry is up against a grendelkin, who's immune to Harry's magic. When the monster corners him, Harry gets some breathing room by winding up with his staff and getting him in the fire-extinguisher.
    • There's also the altercation with Caine a bit earlier in the story.
      As he came in swinging, I snapped the lower end of my heavy staff into a rising quarter spin, right into his testicles. The thug’s eyes snapped wide-open, and his mouth locked into a silent scream.
      It’s the little things in life you treasure.
  • In another short story, "Day Off", Werewolf!Kirby is being chased by Mouse while chasing Harry's cat Mister due to the influence of psychic parasites. During the chase, Kirby knocks Harry down, and Harry gets trampled by a pursuing Mouse, whose paws happen to land "right where the damn dog always gets a man."
• In the Red Dwarf novel Last Human, a character incapacitates a horrific rampaging leopard monster with a combination of 1. A serum that radically increases a person's luck and 2. A rubber band.
  • In an earlier novel, Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers, a hologram attempts to thump a desk in frustration, only for his hand to pass clean through it and slam painfully into his groin.
  • In "Backwards" Lister earns a shard of glass through his crotch during a Virtual Reality gaming session.
  • Also in "Backwards" Peterson ends up in jail for stapling a shore patrolman's penis to his thigh. Upon being released, Peterson is warned that the patrolman is looking to return the favour with red-hot rivets.
  • When Kryten becomes a human being in "Last Human," one of his attempts to help the crew end with him tumbling down a flight of stairs, getting hit in the chest by an oxygen tank, and catching his groin on the tank's nozzle.
  • In the climax of "Last Human," Lister's Evil Twin shoots him in the groin with a rad-pistol, permanently sterilizing him. Or at least it would have been permanent if they didn't have the Luck Virus.
  • Lister's opening stint as a Hopper taxi-driver in Mimas begins with him accidentally biting a lit cigarette in half; naturally it lands in his crotch. After a few seconds of smoldering hair, Lister grabs a thermos and pours it over the flames, only to discover that it contained hot coffee; now in serious pain, his final resort is to grab another container for help. It contains upholstery cleaner. Ouch.
• Colt Regan's shot hit there purely by accident but that probably isn't much comfort to Johnny Nobody
• This is one of Richard Sharpe's favorite attacks in his adventures, but isn't limited to him alone - a Portuguese soldier bayonets a French soldier in the groin in one of the books.
  • Probably the best example is when Sharpe is being tortured by a French Torture Technician who has 'always wanted an Englishman to experiment on' after Sharpe's beloved telescope (a present from The Duke of Wellington) has been smashed by the sadistic villain Ducos. Sharpe manages to grab the splintered end of the telescope barrel and stab the torturer in the crotch with it.
  Sharpe: "He wanted an Englishman. He got one."
  • By the same author, in Saxon Stories you can practically make a drinking game out of warriors getting stabbed and screaming "like a woman in childbirth." Understandable given that it's the fastest way to bypass both shields and mail armor but still...
• Uncle Toby from Tristram Shandy was bedridden for months due to receiving a large stone to the groin during the siege of Namur. Laurence Sterne intentionally plays up the Narm of the situation.
• Simon R. Green's novels have plenty of non-funny incidents of this, often followed by killing the unfortunate bastard while he's down (Green's generally fond of BRUTAL fight scenes), but one of his Nightside novels had a comedy version involving a mousetrap.
• Deuteronomy contains an instruction against groin strikes. To quote chapter 25, verses 11 and 12 (New International Version): "If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity." Considering how oddly specific this is (it doesn't simply say that a woman should never rescue her husband in danger, or that you should never attack the groin) we can guess that the groin was only considered a fair target in the most dire circumstances.
• After Lord Dono Vorutyer (formerly Lady Donna) takes his first Groin Attack during a gender reassignment reversal attempt in Lois McMaster Bujold's A Civil Campaign, he immediately apologizes to Lord Ivan about all of the times he'd seen men hit in the crotch and laughed.
• In To Kill a Mockingbird, Scout accidentally kicks a man in the groin when he is picking on Jem. The quote goes something like "I aimed for his knee but I kicked too high."
• This occurs sometimes to private detective Spenser, in Robert B. Parker's series of novels. It is rarely effective because, as he points out to one female martial artist who tries it on him, it's a) not as painful as the media portrays and b) if you've been through enough other sorts of pain, you can work through it.
• Tortall Universe
  • When Alanna was having bully troubles as a new page, one of her teachers suggested aiming below the belt. She did that the next time they were fighting, but while it hurt the bigger, older page, he still won conclusively - she had to learn a lot more dirty fighting tactics to give more than she got.
  • There's mention of Kel's medium-sized dog Jump leaping up and biting an attacker below the belt. And hanging for a moment.
  • Beka Cooper and the other Dogs in the Provost's Guard do this. A lot. Her books are noticeably coarser. They are protopolice, not nobles, and they're fighting for their lives a lot of the time, and in their time Tortall is a few rungs lower on the scale of cynicism and idealism than in Alanna's. A number of the people Beka comes up against wear codpieces - but a metal one that's not a solid scoop doesn't protect that well. In one fight, she grabs a "chunk of the inside of his thigh" and pinches with all four fingers and thumb while her scent hound bit his hand.
• One of the villains in Doc Sidhe was known for punching his opponents in the groin. The main (not the title) character not only made and wore a codpiece but studded it with shards of iron — and then left himself open for the punch.
• In Shadows of the Empire, Leia eventually does this to her Smug Snake captor/wannabe seducer. The moment before it happens has been immortalized with this◊ Hildebrant Brothers card.
• A parody gangster novel featured an assassin so twisted that he'd devised a hand-to-hand combat tactic where he reached down his opponent's shorts and tore off whatever he could grab there. He'd submitted it to a survivalist magazine's article series on dirty fighting, but was rejected.
  • This image from one of Ashida Kim's books. Thankfully, given that the guy's a known scammer it's likely he just made that up.
• Joseph Wambaugh's The Choirboys includes an incident of a cop with an exaggerated sense of his own toughness trying to stop a fight by intimidating both combatants. It doesn't work out too well, resulting in what he describes later as "The Night My Balls Blew Up." He isn't able to get an erection for the next three weeks, and his wife tells a neighbor she's never had it so good.
• James Bond
  • Le Chiffre in Casino Royale tortures Bond by having him tied naked into a chair with its seat removed, and starts whacking his genitals with a carpet beater in between questions.
  • Averted in Colonel Sun. Before Sun, a noted Torture Technician, starts his work on Bond, he notes that genital mutilation is an effective, but too ordinary of a choice, and goes for a spike in the ear instead.
  • When Bond is put against The Dragon in Licence Renewed in a wrestling match, he knows that he is outmatched with strength and size against the guy, so he attacks him with two hits on his "golden area", before winning the fight a gadget from the Q Branch.
  • In No Deals, Mr. Bond, Bond attacks a fellow MI6 agent, a woman, who is the double agent he has been looking for, who betrayed and destroyed the spy ring she was part of. The fight begins with Bond kneeing her in the crotch. In the text, it is pointed out that such an attack is painful for women as well as men.
  • The eponymous villain of Brokenclaw attempts to feed Bond to his wolves balls-first by smearing his groin in animal fat and throwing him inside their cage.
  • Bond, terribly pissed off by the death of a fellow agent in Death Is Forever, unleashes his rage on The Dragon by kicking him on the groin, following with a knee to the mouth as the guy keels over in pain.
• In both of Aaron Allston's books in the New Jedi Order, it's seen that while Vong wear armored skirts, they apparently don't have any protection beneath them. Lando shoots one, and this is apparently more pain than even a Vong can endure because it's easily dispatched by his "terminator". Out on Coruscant, Mara encounters another. The viewpoint character glances away for a moment and looks back to find that the warrior...
  [...] in the middle of a quite elegant snap-kick against Mara, was receiving her lightsaber thrust up and under his skirt plates.
• The image of such an attack is invoked in Winds of Fate by Princess Elspeth. She follows a practice of her mentor Herald Captain Kerowyn: standing on the saddle of her horse, she drops straight down into her saddle. It always makes the boys wince or cringe. It seems, though, that the impact is too low for the testicles.
• In the Legacy of the Aldenata, there are several applications of this trope for humor:
  • In Hell's Faire, Major LeBlanc punts the civilian technician helping run the damaged "Bun Bun" between the legs, for an earlier event caused by a wrong setting on a Geiger counter that resulted in the major stripping down for an anti-radiation wash-down, after being splashed by water that was thought to be highly radioactive.
  • In Yellow Eyes, one of the named Posleen tromping around in the Panamanian jungles has a Cayman bite on its genitalia, to which a Normal replies with its Boma blade, only missing due to the victim's thrashing around, and cutting off part of the God King's member instead.
• Richard Marcinko enjoys writing these into his Rogue Warrior books. Stands to reason, since it's a highly efficient way of getting an advantage in a life or death fistfight. Despite these books being mostly Self-Insert Fic, with himself as The Captain, he is not afraid to describe himself on the receiving end of a crotch shot.
  • In one, he has to take a bunch of office-bound engineers and teach them how to play paintball. The dweebs learn quickly, and one deliberately aims for his crotch at point-blank range.
• In John Dies at the End, Dave gets into a fight with the character Shitload, who knocks him out with six successive hits to the groin. When Dave wakes up, the dog, Molly, walks over him, and all four of her paws land on his crotch.
  • John also threatens to "dick-slap" someone, but it's not clear if he means to slap them in the dick or to slap them with his dick.
• Tristram Shandy has an exhaustively described scene in which a hot chestnut falls through a minor character's open fly.
• In the bizarro story Monster Cocks, this trope is both played straight and inverted. The hero, Jack, wishes to enhance his penis in order to win the heart of a co-worker, and orders a bunch of male enhancement treatments off the internet, at least three of which requires him to inject something under the skin of his genitals with some cousin of a piercing gun. The treatments prove to be successful—too successful, as his genitals become self-aware and attack and eat several people.
• In The Kingdom Keepers this is how Philby's mother escapes from Luowski. "His mother bent her knee and drove the ball of her heel up and into a spot between the boy's legs that made Luowski's eyes squint shut as he screamed."
• Played nightmarishly humorously in Dan Savage's book Skipping Towards Gammorrah, where he commits all Seven Deadly Sins in a grandiose manner. For Avarice, he goes on a nature retreat for rich people. It includes a very strenuous hike; he went commando because his underwear got soaked in sweat, but then his thighs started to rub together and chafe, then the rash started to bleed, then the sweat from his balls made it sting. So after a couple miles of misery, he shamelessly held onto his junk for the remainder of the hike. Sounds like the groin did the attacking in this case.
• Among the unorthodox methods of the Analyst of Bagé (an overtly manly psychoanalyst created by Brazilian writer Luis Fernando Verissimo) is the joelhaço, a groin attack done with the knees (which the Analyst says he only does with men "because you only beat up women to discharge energy!").
  Patient-I only know that I'm depressed, and this is the worst thing ever!
  Analyst-Worst than joelhaço?
• In The League novel Born of Fire, Shahara kicks her future love interest in the crotch so hard that every time she attacks an enemy male in the same fashion (3 or 4 times during the book), he winces in sympathy, even though she was saving their lives.
• Shay from Long Division whacks City in the balls with a stick for kicks.
• In the comic neo-noir Mr Blank, the hero momentarily disables a Manchurian Agent assassin with some "crotch soccer."
• After miscalculating her speed and trajectory, Cheri accidentally hits Mantis Man in the crotch with her lacrosse stick with stilleto point.
• In Shadow of the Red Vixen while teaching her to fight Alinadar tells Lady Sallivera that a knee to the groin is one of the more effective moves to use on males. Then Salli tries it on Ali and it turns out to be pretty effective on females too.
• In Divine Comedy, the male protagonist is attacked by a "demon squirrel" which seems to be choosing between his throat and his genitals as a target. When it goes for his throat, he is actually relieved (though still terrified).
• Talia helps train Danielle to use her knife in The Princess Series. She comments that stabbing an opponent in the throat is the best target although a Groin Attack is another good option. "The sight of a blade coming for their jewels will make most men leap back and lower their guard."
• This is a regular source of comedy in How to Be a Superhero
• In Onward Virgin Soldiers, by Leslie Thomas, sergeants Brigg and Wilcox are in a seedy nightclub when two Chinese prostitutes they know and like call for help, as they do not like the German businessmen who are trying to get them to leave with them. Brigg tries diplomacy and receives an earful of angry German in response:

  "What was that?" asked Wilcox.
  "I don't know, but it sounded foreign. Let's kick them in the balls."
  "All right. I'll do this one."
  They both turned, hitting the target brilliantly...

• Stephanie Plum is utterly pathetic when it comes to guns, knives, fists, and regularly gets outsmarted by her skips, but she is an undisputed master of this maneuver, and calls it her Signature Attack.
• In Alexis Carew: The Queen's Pardon, a pirate whose shuttle Alexis is trying to steal for The Plan starts graphically describing what he's going to do to her. She shoots him in the hand with her flechette pistol, pinning the hand to what he's going to do it with. (For bonus points, the injury apparently aggravates an STD the pirate had.)
• Naked Came the Stranger: During Rabbi Turnbull's first attempt at having sex with Gillian, he leaps towards her on the bed and lands crotch-first on the bedpost.
• Princesses of the Pizza Parlor: As one described use in the Flavor Text of a magical snowball spell, said in the first book:
  It had taken Uncle most of an afternoon and evening to fill out the necessary information in a way that was clear, and he'd tried to make it funny as well, with descriptions like "Makes a magic snowball that you can stuff in someone's ear, down their pants, whatever. Good for getting people to chill out." He'd hoped their giggles were for the jokes he'd actually intended.
• In Orphans Of Gaia Roll does this to Rock upon first meeting him due to her hatred and prejudice against Trolls. Only she didn't realize Our Trolls Are Different and kicking him hilariously hurts her as much as it hurts him.
• In Almost Perfect (2014), Benny is trying to train the puppy Breaker, but Breaker gets too excited and leaps onto Benny's crotch.
• The satirical fantasy Forward the Mage has a bit about Benny the artist/swordsman being officially and rigorously trained by his professional-mercenary uncles as a Combat Pragmatist, if you can't stab 'em in the dark, In the Back, and/or while they are asleep, then go straight to the Low Blow!
• In The Salvation War, Uriel gets this with two AIR-120 missiles. It's the least of his worries.
• Not surprisingly, the Whateley Universe stories have many, many instances of this, both done for laughs and in earnest (see below).
  • It happens to the Big Bad Don Sebastiano as part of his Humiliation Conga at the beginning of winter term. He gets a massive groin attack from his former mindslave Skybolt. Skybolt's powers include throwing lightning around. Ouch. Fortunately for The Don, he has some regeneration.
  • "The Second Book of Jobe" has a disturbing number of (generally well-deserved) groin attacks, most of which straddle the line between drama and lulz, such as when a now female Jobe's recently created bio-prosthetic penile replacement is forcibly removed by a panicked Misty.
  • Phase gets poorly repaid for his generosity when Fey and Generator play a prank on him by switching on the 'special' features of one of the showers (which he'd paid to have installed as a gift to his female cottage-mates) while he is washing up.
  • In another case which could be read either seriously or for fun, the battle at the restaurant in 'Ayla and the Birthday Brawl' is literally kicked off by Phobos when she retaliates against a mercenary who tried to hold her hostage. Phobos is another Exemplar, and she has goat-like legs and hooves, which leads to the merc getting a world of hurt. Every male (or former male) in the room is stunned for several seconds before the fighting resumes.
  • Generator builds a set of nunchaku, with the predictable result while practicing with them.
  • Tennyo delivers super-strength crotch kicks to both Hamper and Damper on two different occasions. Neither of the twins has much in the way of super-invulnerability.
  • Murphy seems to really like doing this. When she was angry at Kodiak for some loose talk about Loophole, she took her hockey stick and used it in a way which would have left her in the penalty box a long, long time (for his part, Wyatt has a high degree of invulnerability, and was feeling guilty enough about what he'd said that he just stood there and took it). On another occasion, Joanne grabbed Hamper's testicles hard, squeezing and twisting, followed by a vicious Death from Above style kick to his crotch (though to be fair, the Kenner brothers had just shot Loophole and had been about to rape Murphy, but had gotten distracted when they suddenly and painfully learned that Elaine had been wearing body armor). While the situations in which these happened were deadly serious, the groin attacks themselves were treated as comedic Laser-Guided Karma.
• "I Like Monkeys": The monkeys punched their own genitals, which caused the man to laugh. Then they started punching his, and he stopped laughing. It seems like he learned from that, as he decided to punch his friends' genitals when they weren't satisfied when he gave the dead monkeys to them as gifts.

Played for Drama

• In Robert B. Parker's Spenser novels, the title character is a skilled-enough fighter to usually block or dodge such attacks. One time a Groin Attack does land, he shows that he can willpower through it, much to the surprise of his highly trained female-martial-artist opponent. After he knocks her on her ass, he actually lectures her about not relying on the Groin Shot, as it's not as reliable an attack as she thinks it is.
• In the Dean Koontz novel Life Expectancy, protagonist Jimmy uses a nail file to the groin to disable Punchinello long enough to get himself and Lorrie clear of both their armed captor and the bombs he's placed. (This event also figures to an extent in later plot.)
• The Grace Year: Sixteen-year-old Hans, who was born out of wedlock to a woman in a labor house, was given a choice between being sent out to work in the fields and being castrated so he could get guard duty. Unlike most men, he chooses the latter. A seven-year-old Tierney gets to see him in the "healing house" (the infirmary) with a bag of ice between his legs.
• In the Inheritance Cycle, this move is said to have been used in the final duel between Galbatorix and Vrael, the last leader of the original Dragon Riders, by Galbatorix himself, which opened up Vrael to a swift beheading and cemented Galbatorix's new reign as emperor for hundreds of years. The act was deemed "dishonorable," or something to that effect. Doesn't help that the story describes it with double-take language: the guy gets struck "in the fork of his legs".
• In Ender's Game, Ender used the groin attack on bullies in order to make an example out of them to stop other people from picking on him. His guilt over hurting people, the graphic descriptions of his victims' reaction to the attack, and the fact that Ender, near the end of the book, finds out that he actually killed two people like this push the whole thing into a rather horrible deconstruction of the trope. He didn't kill them by kicking them in the groin; those were humility shots after the damage had been done.
• Stephen King apparently has some fascination with this trope.
  • Gerald's Game opens with the title character suffering a fatal heart attack after his wife Jessie puts a knee where it counts to stop him from raping her.
  • In The Dark Half, villain George Stark combines an old fashioned straight razor, an upward slashing attack, and the groin of an unfortunate cop. All described with typical King skill. Did you just wince? Imagine reading it.
  • In Dreamcatcher, one character meets his death at the teeth of one of the weasels, which first attacks the soon-to-be-deceased's groin. (in the film version this happens to a different character)
  • "The Body", later made into the film Stand by Me, is discussed here (2 separate mentions of groin attacks).
  • In Needful Things, a police officer trying to break up a riot is shot in the groin.
  • In "Chattery Teeth" (a short story in Nightmares & Dreamscapes) the eponymous wind-up novelty toy ends up biting a carjacker to death. Guess whether it goes for the balls.
  • Henry Bowers, the human villain in IT, takes numerous hits to the groin. The last time it happens he even starts to bleed. Also in It, Beverly hits her abusive husband on the groin with a belt.
  • In The Stand a prison guard pays an inmate to knee Lloyd in the groin, after Lloyd insults him.
  • In Wolves of the Calla, when the Hitler Brothers ambush Callahan in New York, one of them grabs and tightly squeezes his scrotum to incapacitate him with pain.
  • In Rose Madder, Norman tortures information out of a man who saw Rosie run away by repeatedly squeezing his scrotum until he passes out from the pain.
  • In "My Pretty Pony," one of the stories in Nightmares & Dreamscapes, the protagonist's sister gives him "peter pinches." Sometimes they're very hard and painful ones but other times they're almost pleasurable.
  • In "The Cat From Hell", the cat uses this to set up an Orifice Invasion. When a hitman, sent to kill the cat, has temporary paralysis from whiplash, the cat finally claws at his groin, causing the hitman to scream with his mouth fully agape, which is what the cat wanted, as it then leaps right into his mouth.
• In one of The Dark Elf Trilogy books, Drizzt kicks a mind flayer between the legs without knowing for sure if it had anything significant there to be kicked in (mind flayers are hermaphrodites).
  • Unsurprisingly enough, there are few indicators by the D&D rulebooks for one side or the other. Mind flayers reproduce asexually, but since they derive their bodies from humanoids that get their larvae inserted, their bits may or may not vanish during the transformation.
  • In Wizards Three (Dragon # 219) Shaaan tried this on Elminster... He knew in advance with whom he had to deal. "Oh, did I forget to mention my new steel codpiece?"
• In Piers Anthony's Tarot series, the protagonist is forced to choose between surrendering his eyes or his testes to proceed further on his quest. Because he's a monk sworn to celibacy and his quest is extremely important, he chooses the latter. Subverted in that the amputation is performed painlessly by magic.
• The extended description of the heroine "lodging her sandaled foot squarely between the shaman's testicles" in The Eye of Argon. Especially because the description of the reaction to the Groin Attack takes several (extremely Purple Prosed) sentences to describe.
• From the 1632 series:
  • In 1634: The Galileo Affair, Ruy Sanchez stabs an assailant in the groin region. He is not, however, going for the nuts but for the femoral artery, a cut which is as instantly killing as the more obvious slit throat.
  • In 1632, Rebecca Stearns fires a sawed-off shotgun into a Croatian soldier's testicles. At point-blank range.
• The female warrior protagonist of Iron Dawn devised an underhanded ax blow — with a two-handed stone axe — with which she took a pelvis-splintering revenge upon the bandits who'd gang-raped her. When an enemy she kills with this move is reanimated as a zombie, his entire lower torso has to be held together with leather straps.
• A flashback scene in Headhunter involves the future serial killer watching an S&M aficionado chop up a prostitute. The naked ax-wielder had a dozen needles shoved through his penis at the time.
• Kite takes a well-deserved swift kick to the jewels in Skate the Thief during a confrontation, giving Skate and Twitch enough time to get away while technically avoiding breaking the rule against spilling fellow gang members' blood. While it's an embarrassing moment for Kite and the reader is led to have little sympathy for him, it's not particularly meant to be funny.
• In Frederick Forsyth's The Day of the Jackal, the titular Villain Protagonist nails a would-be blackmailer in the groin before killing him. The Action Service also attaches electrodes to the penis of the OAS member they interrogate.
• Parental threats to the genitals are common in the backstories of fictional serial killers. In Red Dragon, Francis Dolarhyde's abusive grandmother punished him for wetting the bed by placing the blades of a pair of scissors around his penis and threatening to cut it off.
  • In the present day of the story, as Dolarhyde's "Dragon" persona starts feeling more separate and hostile within his deranged mind, one way it keeps him in line is by making a similar threat. Which, surreally, requires D to physically go through the motions.
• Rainbow Six has Ding Chavez threaten to cut off a terrorist's vitals (while interrogating him after he attacked the hospital where Ding's very pregnant wife works), though he ultimately doesn't do it.
• The Shattered World:
  • Inverted by the leader of the Cthons (a demonic subterranean race), who has a live snake for a penis. It bites.
  • Played straight in the same novel when King Troas attempts to have his way with Ardatha Demonhand. She's not having any of it, and retaliates with a scalding-hot application of her namesake, directly to his scrotum.
• David's infamous Collection Sidequest in The Bible had King Saul order him to bring back 100 foreskins from Philistines he killed in battle as proof of his bravery (presumably a safeguard against cheating, since only their Gentile enemies still had foreskins to collect). David brought back 200.
• Jack Fleming from The Vampire Files can usually wipe the floor with gangsters in a brawl, but being held down by a bunch of them while another moves to stomp on his privates is terrifying enough to force even him into Super Smoke form.
• Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk: Shoo-rook.
• In Hollow Places, the three main characters use an anomaly to travel to a serial killer's cell and stab him in three places while he sleeps. Jeffery and Austin stab him in the neck and heart, respectively. Isabella stabs him in the crotch, leaving it in "tattered remains". Too bad this isn't quite enough to take him out, at least not immediately.
• A villain in the Dirk Pitt Adventures novel Inca Gold has the female lead hostage and details the sexual tortures he's planning to subject her to. At that point, Dirk Pitt sneaks up, jams a gun into the guy's pants, and pulls the trigger.
• Carrera's Legions: There are plenty of attacks on testicles and penises throughout the series, usually intentional, and never played for laughs.
• Black Hawk Down: In the novel written by Mark Bowden, when the Somalis capture Mike Durant after his Black Hawk helicopter is taken down, one of the Somali women goes towards him as he is being carried away and "yanks" at his penis and testicles.
• The King Of The Crags by Stephen Deas has a... memorable example. With a crossbow.
• The central character in Middlesex due to his intersex condition was brought up as a girl unaware that painful groin cramps he (than she) suffered from certain physical activities were caused by undescended testes.
• In A Song of Ice and Fire:
  • All of the Unsullied were castrated at an early age, to prevent them from becoming strong enough to overthrow their masters.
  • It's strongly implied that Ramsay Snow does something to Theon Greyjoy's penis.
• In Death: This trope has popped up a few times. Eve Dallas takes down the murderer in Visions in Death hard this way.
• In An Uncertain Place, by Fred Vargas, Emile le Bastonneur manages to get away when the police want to arrest him for Vaudel's murder after hitting Mordent in the groin and Violette Retancourt in the ribs. Most of the Brigade being male, the state of Mordent's testicles is a subject of concern among them for quite some time... although this is inverted in the TV movie, where Commissaire Adamsberg checks on Retancourt multiple times, whereas Mordent's family jewels are never mentioned again.
• In When the Devil Dances, Captain Elgars disables an attacker with a kick to the crotch when ambushed in a Sub-Urb passageway. In a subversion, the female victim definitely does feel it, reacting as a male would when the trope is being played straight.
• In The Truth of Rock And Roll, Jenny responds to a Jerk Jock's attack on her Non-Action Guy boyfriend by grabbing, squeezing, and keep squeezing until the Jerk Jock is a whimpering puddle on the ground.
• In ColSec Rebellion, Samella proves in no need of looking after by virtue of A Handful for an Eye and a swift kick.
• Under a Graveyard Sky: In a discussion on how to deal with infected Technically-Living Zombie security people aboard a cruise liner who are wearing body armor, Faith suggests a chainsaw. When Fontana points out the kevlar armor would jam the chain, she says "come up", and makes a motion of cutting up between the legs.
  "Ooooh," Hooch said, grabbing his jewels. "There’s things you just don’t say around guys."
• In The Echo Case Files, the threat of shooting Harrigan in the groin is how Ramirez ensures he doesn't try and escape her custody.
• In a short story by Mario Vargas Llosa, a boy gets his... uh... prick bitten off by a dog. Ouch.
• In Hyperion Cantos, M. Lamia wins a battle against five attackers through dirty fighting, including using her left hand to crush an attacker's left testicle. A lot of detail to remember afterward. The "victim" was in such pain he threw up.
• Attempted, to no great effect, in Heart of Steel during the climactic battle between Alistair Mechanus and the crazy cyborgified ex-boyfriend of Alistair's love interest. Alistair is on the receiving end, but due to the nature of the accident that made him what he is today, he had nothing significant to be kicked in. He takes a moment to be grateful for this.
• In Midnight's Children, Homi Catrack is shot in the groin, likely due to his killer's motive. And in a rather more permanent example, Saleem and the other midnight children are all castrated and hysterectomied by the Widow's sterilization crew. This has the side effect of removing their powers as well.
• A gender-flipped version occurs in Last Stand of Dead Men, the second-last book in the Skulduggery Pleasant series. Protagonist Valkyrie Cain gets kneed in the groin by Ashione in the midst of a heated battle - and falls to her knees, unable to use her magic, because of how much it hurts.
• No idea if the actual story saw print, but in D.P. Lyle's Murder And Mayhem, the author (a doctor) compiles his newsletter responses to mystery writers' questions about wounds, poisons, and the like. One of the odder questions from an aspiring writer concerned a teenage female character's best choice of irritating substances with which to sabotage the prophylactic diaphragm of her father's mistress. Dr. Lyle's recommendation, best suited to inflict a double Groin Attack on the mistress and the father next time the cheaters had sex? Tabasco. Think about it.
• In Lila Bowen's Weird West novel Wake Of Vultures, Nettie Lonesome takes the knife off of Scorpion, the leader of a band of Indian werewolf raiders. Even though she knows she can't kill him with it, she cut off his genitalia and the pain totally drops him. To make it worse, Scorpion's Healing Factor doesn't grow him a new set. Instead it just grows a flap of skin over his vacant spot.
• Journey to Chaos: Eric uses one of these in a Wizard Duel during ''A Mage's Power. It involves a rock spell and his opponent speaks in falsetto afterward.
• Alex Rider: During the attempted kidnapping in Ark Angel, Alex hits Spectacles between the legs with a 10 kg oxygen cylinder. Alex is almost impressed to see the man walking again just hours later.
  Alex: Is it my imagination, or is your voice a little higher than it used to be?
• Young Sherlock Holmes: Sherlock kicks the evil steward Grivens in the groin when Grivens attempts to corner him in his cabin in Red Leech. This gives Holmes a chance to escape.
• The Dreamblood Duology: When a Banbarra man tries to assassinate Wana while bathing, Wana quite deliberately fractures his penis, then threatens to tell his clan — a death sentence, since they would scorn him as a clansman for being unable to father children. To soften the blow, he offers to have a Sharer heal the damage if the assassin cooperates.
• Towards the beginning of The Mental State, Zachary State is Forced to Watch as his girlfriend is raped by a street thug while his gang watch in amusement. After entering a state of Tranquil Fury, he turns the gang against their leader and proceeds to torture him while they hold him in place and record the whole ordeal. After gouging out a large chunk of arm-flesh he then grips the rapist firmly by the testicles and squeezes them as tightly as he can. He playfully hints that he is about to cut them off with a knife. However, his girlfriend is still present and convinces him not to.
• Wicked: Near the start of Wicked, Frex gets attacked by a rowdy crowd after they get angry at him upon learning he's not nearly as much of an impoverished preacher as he likes to say. Not only does he get kneed in the groin but he's also kicked in the butt, which causes him to soil himself.
• In the 80's Heroes "R" Us series Soldiers Of Barrabas, The Squadette does the "Monkey Grabs The Peach" version to a Soviet officer who tries to rape her. She then puts his severed penis in his coat pocket for him to find later. The man survives his mutilation and turns up in the following novel, eager for revenge.
• In the psychological thriller Jane Doe by Victoria Helen Stone, the titular Jane, a self-described sociopath out for revenge on the man who emotionally and sexually abused her Only Friend into committing suicide, nearly loses her patience and slices open his penis like a hot dog while she has him in a drugged sleep. She muses quite graphically on how satisfying it would be but eventually decides that she would rather stick to her original plan of totally destroying his life. He wakes up with a nasty scratch and no idea that his Shrinking Violet girlfriend is anything but.
• In Darkness Falls, Nya finds herself cornered and outpowered by the much older and stronger Thade, so she instead stops fighting fair and promptly kicks him in the nuts as hard as she can. It doesn't put him down, but it definitely makes him stagger.
• In the Modesty Blaise novel A Taste for Death, Modesty gets into a duel to the death with one of the villains, an egotistical Master Swordsman. At one point, they get into a Blade Lock, which Modesty breaks by kneeing him in a vulnerable area. It doesn't take him out of the fight entirely, but it does put him off his stroke for a bit.
• In The Invisible Man, the title character gives Colonel Adye a shot in the junk while attacking him on the stairs, while simultaneously choking him (!). He recovers from it fairly quickly, suggesting he has Balls of Steel.
• The Crimson Shadow: When Luthien tries to deny he's involved with Siobhan, who teasingly bit his ear in front of Katerin, the latter knees him in the groin.
• In Grent's Fall, this is how the deadlock between Warren Stanley and General Leonard Gaunt ends.
• In Space Glass, Reeva gets Ratroe twice with this, first kneeing him when he's pinning her down, then back kicking him when he has her in a choke hold. Nicora and the professor's daughter also try this on Marvelous Dagon, but they're stopped short.
• Lyttle Lytton Contest: 2007:
  The foot delivered an unending holocaust of pain as it rocketed into Zamboni's crotch.

  —- Leon Arnott's 3rd place-winning entry
• In Save the Enemy, Zoey fights a man using the martial arts skills her dad taught her. Her dad has actually advised against aiming for the groin, since it's hard to get a good shot, but when the attacker gives her the opportunity, she kicks him in the crotch.
• In the Pilgrennon's Children novel Pilgrennon's Beacon, Jananin's interrogation of Pilgrennon includes kicking him in the crotch.
• In Star Trek: The Lost Era novel Forged in Fire an angry Klingon criminal known as The Albino delivers one of these to Kor while holding him prisoner.
• The Secret Life of Kitty Granger: During a fight at Lowell's estate, a guard throws Kitty to the floor. She falls on her back and kicks him hard in the groin.
• Schooled in Magic: When Emily is reading about magical accidents caused by sorcerers that didn't cast their spells properly, one incident involves a boy who tried to use magic to "improve" his genitals. What he ended up with is never detailed but it's gross enough to caused Emily to get sick.
• From Always Coming Home:
  • One poem has a story of a man whose penis was tired of constantly being forced to work, so it cut itself off and ran away.
  • The Coyote cutting off a bear’s balls in one of the stories, and then a human commander doing it to himself.
• The Many Half-Lived Lives of Sam Sylvester: When Carl Wayne tries to strangle Sam, Sam escapes by punching him in the crotch.
• In Lois McMaster Bujold's historical fantasy novel The Spirit Ring the male protagonist takes a knee to the groin from a much more experienced (and ruthlessly pragmatic) opponent. This rapidly takes him out of the fight, and he is stll struggling with the aftereffects for a considerable time thereafter.
• The Science Fiction story Thebe and the Angry Red Eye features a variation. Every astronaut on the Hildebrand One is obligated to have a sterilization device implanted to prevent any babies being born on the ship. When the Character Narrator is injured during the ship's crash landing, his penile catheter is broken into tiny pieces inside his urethra, which makes urination intensely painful.
• The Mermaid's Sister: When Clara is being forced to work in Dr. Phipps' traveling show, Soraya dresses her up as "Princess Hatsumi" and tells her to stand in the Gallery of Wonders pretending not to speak English. When a customer sexually harasses her, she knees him in the groin. Soraya warns her not to assault a paying customer again.
• L. J. Hayward's Where Death Meets the Devil features a rare human-on-animal version: the protagonist kicks a dingo in the nuts to stop it attacking someone. He notes that, under other circumstances, the resulting squeal would have been funny.
• As has already been said, Whateley Universe has several serious takes on this as well.
  • Not only does Counterpoint deliver an Exemplar-strength kick to Jobe's nads (which speeds up his Gender Bender transformation), but more seriously, Carmilla later detaches his penis outright while completing the change.
  • In what is probably the most tragic and disturbing case, Generator, after returning to being male after managing to become female temporarily, takes a scalpel to her male genitals and cuts them off, repeatedly, while they keep regenerating, finally passing out from blood loss after over an hour of frenetically hacking at herself.
  • After Carl de-pantses Paige (whom he didn't believe was a Hermaphrodite) at a family gathering, she proceeds to open up a can of whoop-ass on him that even the other weres in the room were stunned by, including a series of vicious blows to the gonads. She had to be restrained from cutting them off once he was down, and while it was clear everyone thought he deserved it (and knew he would regenerate soon enough), the sheer intensity of her assault was considered excessive.
• In chapter 13 of Tails of Fame, Rast cuts off Seamus' penis with bolt cutters while he's torturing him to death.
• In chapter 5 of Tails of the Bounty Hunter, one of the mercenaries who tries to kill Cale grabs his groin and squeezes so hard he almost crushes Cale's testicles. The very next chapter has Cale kicking Milz Dillvor, the anthro who sent the mercenaries, between the legs repeatedly as payback.
• In chapter 14 of Smirvlak's Stone, Nick bites off Lorko's penis while he's orally raping him.
• Universal Monsters: In book 6, during the second battle at Goldstadt Mansion, Captain Bob has been dragged underwater by the Gill Man. In a desperate act, he kicks it in the crotch, causing it enough pain to let him escape.
• In Worm, Taylor needs to incapacitate Lung as quickly as possible, so she uses her bug control powers to make black widows bite his genitals. Fortunately for Lung, Good Thing You Can Heal is in full effect, at least, once the rotting is finished.
• During the backstory of To Welcome Oblivion, Elara kicks Rhett Talbot in the groin (and breaks his spine in the process) in order to stop him from killing her sister.

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