Funny / Wipeout (2008)

• The show's first ever contestant said she was going to run roughshod over the course while pretending it was her ex-boyfriend. She then proceeds to fall off every obstacle and miss the landing on the last one. Jill asks if she has anything to say to her ex, and she screams "I HATE YOU!" Anderson reminds all the men out there that she's available.
  • "We have the police academy grad on top of the go-go dancer on top of the candy man, or as it's commonly known: Tuesday night in Jersey."
• The reactions from the first contestants to participate in Dizzy Dummies when they're strapped to the spinning machine:

  Charlene: Does it need to go that quick?

  Hammond: This is terrifying.

  Charlene: This is the longest forty seconds of my whole, entire life!

  Another contestant: Ain't it just?

• Season 3's cafeteria spinner. In the second subround, a huge lump of tomato sauce caused all five contestants on the spinner to wipe out at once! (Complete with super-super-slow-mo replay of the sauce being thrown out.)
• Jacob "Crunch Time" Mann, who does the splits on the Big Balls.
  • "This will be an interesting story to tell his kids... if he adopts."
  • He also had a nice, nice taco.
• The near fear John Henson has at "Freak of Nature" Frank Beasley and his antics. Followed by how both Jill and Vanessa call out "he's crazy!" during his course runs.
• Ariel "Never-Been-Kissed" (and later "Kissaholic") Tweeto, in her entirety, though particularly her inability to see a pole right in front of her, if only for the fact that she assumed the pole would be yellow. It doesn't help that, right before the pole, Ariel crossed the Big Balls, the first contestant in the show's history to do so. The hosts' snark is in full effect, complete with literally dozens of arrows pointing at the pole onscreen.
  Anderson: And she did it! The only person to successfully cross the Big Balls! And she's showing no signs of slowing down!
  Ariel: Where's the pole?!
  Henson: (tires screech) And we might have hit a snag.
  • Which becomes a Brick Joke when Ariel returns for the All Star episode, where Jill helpfully points there's no pole this time when Ariel makes it to the final obstacle.
  • The UK version had a similar moment. Though this contestant actually managed to see what he had to use to tackle the obstacle. After the contestant clears the Big Balls, Hammond begins going absolutely crazy, hyping this moment up with triumphant music and a crowd cheering. The contestant begins untying the rope to swing to the finishing platform... only to take both hands off in doing so, letting go of the rope and causing it to swing out of reach without him. The way he defeatedly runs across the platform meant for taking a run up for the swing and jumps into the water instead of just jumping where he stands is the best part.
  Hammond: HIS SYSTEM WORKS! That is- that is genius! That is genius!
  (The contestant unties the rope and it swings away)
  Hammond: And that's madness...
• In another episode, they happen to mention aliens... then the whole contest briefly falls into sheer insanity.
  • To put it into context some of the things that happened afterwards were: Ballsy being set on fire by Frickin' Laser Beams, A UFO invading the announcer booth and anderson trying to whack it with a bat, and a contestant getting abducted after being launched off the air mattress only to be dumped back into the water after the UFO comments that she Tastes Like Feet.
• "Ragin' Cajun" William Davis Jr. must simply be seen to be believed. Most of his qualifier round run was spent yelling at the course (or just yelling).
  • When he wins, he opens his jacket, yells and thanks President Obama.
• The "Hotties vs. Nerds" episode has the Total Carnage course, where once the game started, nearly four-fifths of the contestants got knocked out by the first arm.
  • Hell, the whole "Hotties vs. Nerds" episode is one hilarious moment after the other.
  • Follow up "Hotties vs. Nerds v2" doesn't disappoint either.
• Once "Couples" episode featured two hilarious moments involving a giant airbag- one contestant is thrown through the air, doing a cartwheel in the process... and another is thrown into the air and apparently doesn't come down until after the commercial break!
• The tribute to "Real Men of Genius"-based tribute to the inventors of their obstacles:
  Here's to you, Crazy Obstacle Inventor Guy!
  (Mr. Crazy Obstacle Inventor Guy!)
  Others have made 25 foot slides, but only you would point it straight into a giant spinning snowflake.
  (Oh god, my knee just touched my forehead!)
  No sane person would build a pneumatic penguin that throws people into a 900 gallon vat of eggs. Because that's straight-up crazypants! But for you, that's just another day at the office.
  (Don't forget the salmon!)
  Only a mind like yours could look at an innocent platform next to the big balls and say, "Hey! I bet that would make a great slingshot for human beings!"
  (Using people as projectiles!)
  Go ahead and take a bow, o king of the qualifier! You've made your mark by making other people fall down.
  (Mr. Crazy Obstacle Inventor Guuuyyyy!)
• Heck, almost anytime a contestant fails a part of the obstacle course and falls into the liquid. Especially when it involves the Big Balls.
• There was one contestant (who was nicknamed 'scarecrow' after playing one in a stage version of The Wizard of Oz) who got hit TWICE by the crankshaft in one wipeout, the first time lifted him up by the neck only to dump him groin-first onto the second area of it that was rising up. Jill immediately says "Best wipeout ever!"
• From the Australian version, Buffman's over-the-top performance in the qualifier. Not even Kelly could keep a straight face.
  • Taken up to eleven when his episode is reused for the American version, with the new commentary just making it into a World of Ham.
• Contestant tries to get up the ladder. It's kind of something you just have to see.
  • Not quite as questionable, but the UK version also has this ladder accident. It wouldn't be all that funny on its own, but what makes it funny is that the woman is a firefighter. Even funnier, she makes it all the way to the Wipeout Zone.
• One contest's shtick was loving Disneyland. When he finishes one of the rounds, the following exchange happens using clips from the course.
  John: Disney Prince, you're going to Disney World!
  Disney Prince: Yes yes yes!
  John: But Space Mountain's closed for renovations.
  Disney Prince: No no no!
  John: Wait, it's open again!
  Disney Prince: Yes yes yes!
• In a very early episode of Wipeout, Jarran Joshu wound up puking on the Dizzy Dummy. Chris Lekawa's reaction? To bounce up and down like a kangaroo.
• The Australian version had a brother/sister duo competing against each other, with the show playing up their rivalry throughout. During the Sweeper round, the sister gets knocked off her feet by the sweeper and while hanging on, proceeds to knock her brother over to another platform in the process. Then the brother has to withdraw for unspecified reasons and who replaces him? His SISTER.
• The 'Fall in the Family' episode provided plenty of awesome moments for Yoshi Sudarso, but the commentary provided the funny following his victory against the Sweeper - while suffering from a knee injury!
  Matthew West: (To Yoshi) How in God's name are you doing that?!
  Commentators: (At the start of the second round) The epic battle between six people who couldn't outjump a one-legged man...
• One episode of wipeout had a cowboy themed area of the third leg (I think) the things being thrown were cowboy hats and believe it or not giant biscuits! One contestant is ready to jump being left by herself, however one of the cowboys has a REALLY good arm. He manages to bullseye her from across the way (probably the furthest they can throw the objects) the commentary just sells it.
  Henson: The only thing standing between her is the board, the landing platform *notices one of the cowboys taking aim* and five pounds of flour....
  Jill: That's a big biscuit.
  * contestant gets bullseyed and falls into the water*
  Anderson: Reminds me of how my Nana used to serve up those things at supper!
  Henson: Don't ask for seconds...
• During a second season episode of Wipeout, the contestants are waiting on the platforms for the Sweeper to start and they start trash talking one another. One of the contestants decides to "trash talk" by pelvic thrusting and going "FEAR THE SPEEDO! FEAR IT!" John Henson's response after this just makes it even funnier.
  • And during said Sweeper round, we get this:
  Crystal Wilhite: Woo! Yeah! That's how princesses do it baby!
  Crystal then jumps, fails and promptly proceeds to faceplant on the pole.
• A special "Winners & Losers" episode brings back a lot of old favorites and Henson talking of how great it is to see them all...
  Frank: Trample the weak!
  Henson: Is... that Frank Beasley?
  Anderson: Yes... it is.
  Henson: Oh, no one told me he was coming! This guy's winning war cry has been the subject of my recurring nightmares! Great, I just got rid of my night light...

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