- The opening scene of Cheech being so dazed after waking up that he stumbles into the bathroom and ends up peeing in a laundry hamper across the room from the toilet.
- Pedro and the Man meet for the first time when Chong hitchhikes with fake breasts.Man: I slept in a ditch last night and almost froze my balls off.Pedro: I didn't even think you had any!
- Pedro, trying to find a joint to share with Chong:Pedro: No, that's my dick... [finds it] Here it is.Chong: I hope your dick's bigger than this, man.
- "Am I driving OK?" "I think we're parked."
- This is followed by Pedro beginning to freak out, so Man gives him what he thinks is some drugs that will mellow him out until...
Man: Hey, man, don't eat those.Pedro: Hey, man, I already took them, man!Man: Ohhhhh!Pedro: What do you mean, "Ohhhhh!"?!Man: Oh, wow, man!Pedro: I never had no acid before, man!Man: I hope you're not busy for about a month!Man: No, that's good acid, man.Man: Relax, man!Pedro: I've seen those guys that had too many acid, their heads look like a pumpkin, like THAT, man!Man: HEY, MELLOW OUT, MAN!! Now, just go "Oommmmmmm"...Pedro: What?Man: Do it! "Ommmmmmm...."Pedro: Ohhhh!(They begin to chant together, with Pedro slipping in an "Ohhh, shit!" at one point until he calms down.)Man: There. You better now, man?Pedro: Yeah...Man: You mellow?Pedro: Yeah.Man: Feel alright, huh?Pedro: Yeah!Man: RAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!Pedro: GODDAMN, MOTHERFUCKER! GODDAMN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN?!Man: Sometimes that helps! - Cheech, talking to the cop while stoned."My license? It's on the bumper.""Here's your momma!""His name is RAAAAAALPH, man."
- Chong spills Ajax on a plate. A woman sees it and thinks that it's cocaine...
- The marijuana van is overheating. A cop pulls Pedro and Chong over and gets high off the fumes.Cop: "What do you guys want?"Chong: "What was he on, man?Cheech: "I don't know but I wish we had some of it!"
- Chong on the police dispatch with Sgt. Stadenko: "Was that Lard Ass?" "HARD HAT, HARD HAT!!!"
- In a deleted scene: "The van was last seen headed to your momma's bedroom."
- The end to that bit:
"Radio dispatch! Do you know who this is?""No, who is this is?""This is Sargent Stadenko!""Oh, yeah? You know who this is?""...No...!""Bye-bye, lardass!" - "Fuck me, Alex!"
- "I didn't know your name was Alex, man!"
- The entire Alice Bowie performance.
- "You mean we're smoking dogshit, man?"
- In the courtroom when Pedro takes the judge's glass of water to give Man a drink.Man: "That's fucking vodka man!"
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/UpInSmoke
FollowingFunny / Up in Smoke
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