- From the Assassin's Creed II episode:Giovanni Auditore: What a fine set of lungs! What shall we call him?
Paul: LUNG MAN!!! - And is Devil May Cry 4Paul: [Dante shows up] I'm you, from the future! I'm here to make sure you don't have to listen through this boring sermon! [pulls gun on Sanctus.]
- Valkyria Chronicles:Alicia: I want people to know that the war wasn't all just people killing people.
Graham: There were bad parts too!- Welkin is caught while drawing wildlife next to a river, and suspected of being an enemy spy. What name does he come up with? "Fishy McSketcherson".
- Everything fishy in this episode.... So the entire thing.Welkin: How's the water?
Paul (as fish): It's water... I don't know, like water? We're fish, right? What's the air like, douchebag?
- Star Ocean: The Last HopeShimada: Very well. I leave the rest to you.
Graham: I'M GOING TO GO EAT A SCHTICK OF BUTTER - Their utterly stunned reaction to the opening narration in NieR.
- In Eternal Sonata, thoroughly bored with how the narrator keeps going on and on about the perfection of the town, Paul and Graham keep slipping in different possible plots in desperate attempts to make it interesting.Narrator: No such shops are to be found. Not here.
Graham: Because of the plague, with its crippling sores.
Narrator: In fact, the village is quite calm. Almost strangely quiet...
Paul: As the townsfolk hide from the coming zombie horde.
Narrator: It is a place that exudes a peaceful tranquility.
Paul and Graham: Eeeew...
Narrator: ...increases its allure, as well as its mystery.
Graham: For those at home, the mystery is: a sex offender just moved into town.
Paul: You know I have not seen a single petal go downward in this entire thing.
Graham: Maybe that's why no one's around, gravity works in reverse and everyone's fallen up.
Paul: Hm... - The Hybrid Heaven episode takes the cake. A trashy-looking game for the Nintendo 64 has a Fade to Black, as Paul and Graham wonder if the projector just broke. Then the viewer is treated to the blocky protagonist's ass and back in a shower scene.Both Paul and Graham, overlapping one another: Aaaaah! Break it again! Break it again! Break it again! Break it again!
- Another moment in the Fist of the North Star episode, upon realizing Kenshiro made a lot of creaking noises while move;Graham: And then, Kenshiro rooooled oveeeeer... (spooky creeking noises)
- Just about the entire Monster Hunter Tri episode.
- From the Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) video: "Blue streak, as his franchise dies..."
- Hey, you got your science fiction in my fantasy!
- The ending hit it home, with them mocking about how Robotnik uses palette swapped enemies and leaves out power-ups for Sonic, as Sonic was standing there forever as the ship slowly leaves with Elise.
- During the Resident Evil 5 episode, when the cutscene shifts to a wide aerial view of the African savanna...they suddenly chime in with the opening vocals of Circle of Life.
- From Folklore:Ellen: Thanks, but I'll get there myself. *jumps overboard*
Paul (as charter boat captain): Nooooooooooooooowell, that's why I get a deposit. - Almost the entirety of the Onimusha 3: Demon Siege review, but especially:*shot of modern French plaza after scenes of ninja, samurai, undead, and giant monsters in feudal Japan*
Graham: How. Does this have anything. To do with what we just saw?
Graham: You know, not that this isn't nice, but I think the game has gotten a little off-message.
* modern French plaza gets attacked by undead and giant monsters*
Paul: Aaaaand back on message!
Paul-as-Undead-Warrior: Excuse me! We appear to have gotten lost! Could you direct us to Onimusha 3'? - This line from the Atelier Totori video after a trophy unlocks early into the opening cutscenePaul: Oh come on, we earned a trophy for that!?
Graham: That's a trophy for pressing start! Nothing has happened yet!
Paul: Congratulations, your arms work! - Syndicate:Narrator: Industrial espionage reaches unparalleled heights.
Paul (?): Well, that makes sense, if the buildings are taller in the future. - Damnation:Graham: This is your captain, I frankly don't trust the three of you.
- Silent Hill: Downpour:Graham-as-Prison-Bus-Driver: Everybody okay back there? Why is everyone so quiet?
Paul-as-Anne-Cunningham: Yeah let's have a sing-a-long!
Both singing: The prisoners on the bus go "Please don't shoot me! Please don't-" No? Oh alright.''' - This exchange from Dishonored after Corvo has been tortured and the villain brags how no one will ever know the truth about his plan:Graham-as-Corvo: Won't they? I'm wearing a wire!
Paul-as-Burrows: Uh, no you're not.
Graham-as-Corvo: What?
Paul-as-Burrows: Wires haven't been invented.
Graham-as-Corvo: Damn it. - The Stinger for Tales of Graces pt. 2:"So, the party is: a child, a weenie, an asthmatic, and a stoned amnesiac. We're ready for anything!"
- Their reaction to the title of "Ar Tonelico Qoga: Knell of Ar Ciel"Paul: "What?"
Graham: "The only real word there is 'of'!" - From Epic MickeyGraham: So, he reads Through the Looking Glass and decides to walk through a mirror?
Paul: He's impressionable!
Graham: Thank God he didn't read Silence of the Lambs! - In their The Last of Us video:Joel: He is the contractor..
Paul: The Contractor! (trumpet sounds)
Graham: Able to hire people in a single bound!- Later:
Graham: You sleep here, where the monsters are. Oh did I say monsters? I meant nothing.Paul: But, seriously, you guys are right under the bed right?
("monsters" grumble affirmatively)- The Callback:
(police car passes by)
Paul: These cops are on the trail of...The Contractor! They can't stand for his vigilante justice! And hiring processes. - In part two:Tommy: That's Louis's Farm (camera pans to house on fire)
Paul: Hmm, looks like Louis has a nice crop of fire this year.- And then:
Tommy: Everyone and their mothers had the same idea.
Graham: Specially their mothers.
Paul (doing an old lady voice) : Now Bryan, you listen to me, we're gonna get in the car and take 71!
Graham doing Bryan's voice: Yes, okay mom.
"Mother": Don't you give me that sass young man!
"Bryan": I wasn't trying to-
"Mother": This is the best route out of town.
"Bryan": Okay, that's where we're going.
"Mother": Okay. Now have you found a nice girl yet?
"Bryan": We've been through this! Yes, I did, she turned out to be a zombie, I had to shoot her.
"Mother": So no grandchildren then?
"Bryan"': Not right now. - In Part 3 of their The Last of Us videos we have the scene of Sarah's death. All the way.Paul (as Sarah is dying): From the studio that brought you Crash Bandicoot!Graham: This would be a pretty awkward scene for Crash because I'm pretty sure he cannot not smile.
- In Thief.(Guard with Dastardly Whiplash appears)
Paul: Snidely Whiplash is on the scene! - Dark Souls II opens with a doozy.(As a Haunted Forest comes into view)
Paul: Here's one of our nation's creepiest national parks.
Graham: Smokey The Bear says: "You know what, just go ahead and cause forest fires. I'm creeped out by this forest."- Later:
Seer: You'll be something other than human...
Graham: A lobster!
Seer: Something that feeds on human souls.
Graham: Could still be a lobster.
Seer: A Hollow.
Paul: Well, lobsters are kinda hollow.- And then:
Seer: Your wings will burn in anguish...
Paul: What wings? I don't...I don't understand what this woman is saying. She's just sort of saying a bunch of disjoined, creepy phrases that don't connect narratively.
Graham imitating the woman: Like a moth to the flaaame, the augur of darkness, for a mog of the curse, your fate is...a...cubist! - Deception IV.(Giant pendulum sends a foe flying out of the nowhere)
Graham: Ha! Everyone falls for the old "enormous pendulum from the side" move!- And:
(On a protagonist with a blue and yellow eye)
Graham: That's what happens when you look at the sun for too long.
Paul: With an eyepatch?
Graham: No, During an eclipse.
Paul: What? - Ni No Kuni opens with Paul and Graham failing terribly at pronouncing the game's name. Also:Miss Leila: I think he's got something to show you, dear.
- Their reactions to the extremely bizarre conversation between the two main characters.
Graham: So she's ready...and you're taking her for a spin. God I hope you're talking about a car.- The small chronicle of a Bumbling Henchmen Duo.
Paul as Soldier A (Uses hand signal): Wohoo, party!Graham as Soldier B: Ah, Dave, that's not what that means."Dave": What you mean that's— hey why is that helicopter taking off?"Soldier B": Because you told them."Dave": Whaaaat?"Dave" (more accidental hand signals): God, so much rain, on my visor!"Soldier B": Damn it, Dave, stop doing hand signals!"Dave": Wait why?"Soldier B": Now we're going the wrong way."Dave": Look, you're telling me these helicopters are controlled by hand signals? That seems...highly impractical. - Diablo 3 opens with Russell's marvelous return.Narrator: The first sign shall appear...(raven is drawn on page)
- Shortly therafter, as a battle ensues.
Graham: Hey, Reading Rainbow never said anything about this.
Paul (singing): Butterflies in the skyyy, I can kill all these guuuys. - In the second part of Diablo 3, there's "Death's" Pre Ass Kicking One Liner."Death" (after tense moments of silence): ...Yo! (starts beheading people)
- In their work on Ryse: Son of Rome.Paul as Marius' Dad: The historical accuracy is nice, but do you really need so much work to be a stripper?Graham as Marius: I'm dedicated to my craft, father.
- In Way of the Samurai III, Oda Nobunaga is mentioned.Paul: Of course it's Nobunaga Oda.Graham': Wow that guy really gets around.Paul: Name one historical Japanese game in which he's not the bad guy.Graham: Or the good guy.Paul: Or just a guy. He's in all of them.
- In Bound By Flame.Narrator: The Deadwalkers (...) The Ice Lord (...) from The North'..Paul: It's not Game of Thrones. It's not Game of Thrones. It's not Game of Thrones. It's...kinda Game of Thrones.
- Later:
Narrator: The ritual that would change the course of the war...Graham: They're gonna combine together and form Devastator.Paul: That would change the course of the war. I doubt the zombies would know what to do in the face of the Constructicons. - Many lines from The Amazing Spiderman:Announcer: The Oscorp of today is evolving.Paul (perky): We're not evil anymore.
- Upon discovering that the Rhino in this game is a rhino mutated in to a Half-Human Hybrid.
Graham: We've taken this rhinoceros and given it the sculpted ass of a bodybuilder. - Killzone: Shadowfall is entirely dedicated to the fact the entire plot makes no sense, for example:Paul: Wait a minute, this is the year of 2039, where did they get a burlap sack to put on your head?Graham: They manufacture them just for that purpose.
- Pandora's Tower, Graham and Paul notice the game has two directors, and later on, two co-directors:Graham: Wait, there are two co-directors as well? Who's running this shit?
- Their Asura's Wrath trilogy is pure gold all the way through, highlights including:Paul: What the—? Credits, get off the screen, I'm playing!
- In part two:
Deus: Prepare to fire the Brahmastra!Graham: The Brahmastra?Olga: The Brahmastra?Graham: Okay I'm glad we're all confused.- As Sergei demonstrates his weird fetish for destruction.
Graham: A'ight, just so we're clear: No one else is weirded out by that guy?Paul: Can we just turn off his screen?- As the Viitra reveals itself.
- In the very end of part two:
Graham: Well that was twenty minutes and nothing happened.Paul: What do you mean nothing happened? A mouth came out of the Earth, if I were living on Earth at the time, I'd call that a pretty eventful day.- In part three:
Yasha: What troubles you?Graham: Oh, I don't know, I'm worried I'm late on my phone bill? What the fuck do you think is my problem!?Paul: Maybe it's something to do with the lazer the size of a planet that just blew off four of my arms? - Unearthed: The Trail of Ibn Batutta begins with our duo horribly mispronouncing the name and just goes off from there.
- After a guard shoots a wall for no adequate reason.
Paul: That wall is never going to hurt somebody ever again!- Also:
Woman: You were the one who always enjoyed raiding tombs and uncharting mysteries.Graham and Paul: Oooooooooooooooh. - In Destiny:Paul: "Always land butt first", that is the motto of the Austronauts.
- Dead Rising 3 gives us Paul and Graham commenting on the zombie apocalypse and how to best deal with it:Graham (about the loss of contact with the soldiers): Why do you care if you lost contact with them, wasn't the order shoot-to-kill?Paul: Well, yeah, I mean we did lose contact because we shot them.(Phrase on the screen states survivors are unconfirmed)Paul: Rumors of survivors still alive are unconfirmed because we shot anybody who was trying to confirm that. It's a very thorough system.Graham: Hm-hm. So far it's working.(later, as Nick wonders if there's anyone in the building)Paul as Nick: Is anybody in there?Graham: No!Paul: Okay, good— hey wait a minute, are you a zombie?Graham: ...Brains?Paul: Did you just say brains?Graham: Brai— No— I mean— no. Damn it!Paul: You ARE a zombie! I knew it!Graham (sadly): Brains.
- Then the cages fail as Nick is passing by.
Graham: What? And then all the fences failed at once? Were the other zombies emboldened by the success of the first zombie?Paul as zombie: Come on guys, we can do it! - It's a known fact One Piece is strange. Graham and Paul get to witness that firsthand (without prior knowledge of the series) in One Piece: Unlimited World Red.Graham (upon sighting Brooke): Gah! There is a gentleman on the Ship who is a literal skeleton. Is that okay with everybody?Graham: No, but he's wearing a boa feather and a crown.
- When they make port:
Paul (looking at Franky, in a concerned tone): Also we need to buy that guy whatever he needs. I don't know what it is, but lets buy it. - Then comes Watch Dogs.(As Aiden hacks several people and things, their names flashing on the screen)Graham: The name's Smith, James Sm— (pan to a security camera), sorry, it is Camera. Security cam— (pan to Maria Johnson) Aaah not gonna bother.
- Later:
Graham as a guard: Come in, command, I just saw a man holding a cellphone, because I can't see the internet, I don't know if that's relevant in any way! - In Bayonetta.Bayonetta: You always knew how to make an entrance, Jeanne.Graham: Yes, nearly flattening someone's scrotum, that's good theater!
- Also:
News report: A massive influx of merrymakers..Paul (deep voice): Soon the merrymakers shall descend and rule the city!- Enzo and the toymaker's conversation is worthy it for Graham's Comically Serious shtick.
Enzo: I told you what I'm after! I want a jet, a toy jet, you know, the kind with wings, flies in the sky?Graham as Toymaker: I don't know of any other kind, sir.Enzo: I'm not buying any damned angels!Graham as Toymaker: I never offered you any angels, sir.Enzo: Yellow, blue, I don't care what color they are! I learned my lesson with those bastards, ya hear me?Graham as Toymaker: I have no concept of what you're referencing, sir. - Murdered, Soul Suspect already opens magnificently:Graham: (in a sing-song): It's the most fun state to say while drunk! It's Masssssschuschets.
- As the criminal emerges:
Ronan: Someone has to have heard the glass shatter!Paul as Criminal: I heard the glass shatter.Graham as Ronan: Oh great! Can you call the— oh, Sub-Zero? You're not gonna help me! - In Drakengard 3, the dragon speaks.Graham: Who gave the dragon helium!?
- And the crowning moment, in which the Narrator dies.
Graham: It finally happened!Paul:They killed the narrator''!Graham (excitedly): We have dreamed of this day!Paul as Narrator: Now nobody will know what's going on this video game!Graham: Eh I'll level with you, I didn't already.- Later on, during a battle.
Graham: You know, it doesn't even look like blood or gore, it looks like she just murdered the Kool-Aid Man. - When Professor Folmegati is mentioned:Graham: And Foolmegati, shame on me! And foolmegati you...Wait, no, I thought I had this.
- Followed by:
Villain (voiced by Frank Welker)': Move aside, so I can DESTROY PROFESSOR GADGET! - In Alien: Isolation.'Man: It's about your mother...Graham: And how I met her.
- Shortly thereafter:
Man: There might be some close for you.Graham: Or, and I'm just throwing this out there, you might get attacked by an alien.- And then:
Woman: The Weyland-Yutani bond...Graham (in a scottish accent): The namesh bond. Weyland Yutani Bond....Mosht people call me James. - Dragon Age Inqusition.Inquisitioner': And then..a woman?Graham: I think it was a woman. She had eight legs, and at least seven eyes and I may be getting confused.
- By the end:
Inquisitioner: Where are you taking me?Graham: Take a guess. I'll give you one, big, green, glowing guess. - In Advanced Warfare:Soldier: We gotta get on the ground and contact team One!Paul: We got the full version of the game for them!
- Graham chips in the plot of Marlow Briggs.Graham: This is escalating very quickly. He was dead a minute ago.
- In The Evil Within, Part 1.Detective Castellano (on the radio): What's the situation, over?
- Later on, when they walk by a bunch of scattered corpses.
Detective: Hey Custelos, this guy's faking!Corpse (miffled): No I'm not! - In part two:Leslie: Fall! Fall!
- In their video for Far Cry 4.Graham: Not sure why you wanna go to Kyrat, but friendly advice: Don't.
- And towards the end when "Should I Stay or should I go" begins playing.
Paul: You should go.Graham: You should go now. As fast as you can.- Which gets a Call-Back at the beginning of part two, with them grumbling about how he didn't listen.
- In the actual part two, when Pagan grabs the ashes from the urn.Graham and Paul': EW! NO!Pagan Min: Oh this takes me back...Graham: Takes you back to what? Was she made of carbon!?
- In Assassin's Creed Rogue, part one:Captain: How dare you, cabbage farmer?Graham: HOW DARE Y—wait, is Cabbage farmer an Irish slur? It's...not.Paul: I farmed one cabbage one time, come on!
- In part two.Graham: The cloud? Ah that's where I store all of my personal information and photos.Paul: Ah, the cloud, that's where I store all of my rain.Graham: ...I think we're talking about different clouds.Paul: It's the future, could be the same cloud.
- In the sacred 3 episode.Narrator: She was born with massive telepathic abilities.Paul: MASSSIVE...telepathic abilities.
- On Alpha Prime:Arnie: Hubbardium, the most valuable and most treacherous thing in the univerrse.Graham: It's a mineral, that's like saying copper is treacherous!Paul: Hey, if given a chance, copper would kill you.
- The very last joke:
Woman: Something happened there..Graham: Something like Dead Space but way way shittier. Like, real bad. (whispering) Don't play this game. - Transformers: The Dark Spark gets:Lockdown: Oh, Optimus, can't you see...Graham (in deep voice): Your words hypnotize me!
- In the Assassin's Creed: Unity episode.Knight: I must speak with the Grandmaster!
- Shortly after
Jacques de Molay: Not you, my friend.Graham: Your hair is too fabulous to risk in combat! - In the second part of AC Unity, the "french accent" gag comes back potshots at the accents:Arno's father: And when I come back, we'll see the fireworks.
- Sometime after, the gag comes back.
Arno: In a fair world, but this is France!Graham: You're right, this IS France, which anyone can tell by listening to us!- They find Arno's father dead;
Paul: This is what happens. You stole an apple so we had to kill your father. I hope you're happy, kid.'Arno drops his watch, breaking itGraham: Aw, you broke your watch.Paul: Well, now we have to kill someone else. Harsh, but fair justice! - The Saboteur has this hilarious combination appear from nowhere:Graham: Begun zis clone war has!Paul: Was that Hitler Yoda?
- In Dark, when the NPC the player is talking to mentions that the player needs to go find an "ancient and powerful vampire" who has been around for "several decades".Graham: (Cracking up.) Wow! Decades! Like, you mean like, since The '80s?
Paul: Ah, they're so old!
Graham: They're like 40!
Paul: Good thing vampires are immortal! I can't imagine being that old! - From Time and Eternity as protagonist Zack goes on and on about how much he wants to kiss his fiancee, and how he hates having to wait until he's married to kiss her, and how he just has to be patient for one more day...Graham: Imagine how excited he's going to be when he learns about sex!
- From the video for Atelier Iris 3: Grand Phantasm.???: ....
Graham: A guy with no name... said nothing.
Paul: Why did we see that?! How relevant could that POSSIBLY be?! - Sadly, Unskippable ended. But fortunately, they decided to go out on a blaze of glory with Metal Wolf Chaos, amongst their most ridiculous games ever. The result is a worthy send off to the show.Graham: (regarding Challenging the Chief): I don't know why they don't do that now. Wait, no, I totally do, 'cause they would have ellected Brock Lesnar as their President.
Paul: Well, what are his policies?
Graham: Uh..Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat, as far as I'm aware.- Later as the President quips he has to go SAVE AMERICA, they comment:
Paul: Wow that is a perfect excuse for pretty much any situation.
Graham: Could you ratify this trade agreement with NATO?
Paul: I'd like to, but I have to SAVE AMERICA!- Their obsession with mech suits.
Announcer: Much like our ancestors did, based in a belief of winning freedom.
Graham: With mech suits.
Announcer: And based in the belief of a independent war.
Paul: With mech suits.
Announcer: And based in the belief of this great nation!
Paul and Graham: WITH MECH SUITS!
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/Unskippable
FollowingFunny / Unskippable
Go To
