Funny / Ultimate Heroes For Hire

General

• Pickle. He's basically Michael J. Caboose in the body of a Piranha Plant.
• Lord Douglas, despite being the villain, is quite entertaining in his own right, especially with his catchphrase.
  Lord Douglas: Unhhhh!

Episode 1 - Back in Action

• The first scene of the series. Pichu is delivering a monologue to the audience, when Snake suddenly starts his narration partway through:
  Pichu: Do you mind?
  Snake: Do YOU mind?
  Pichu: I was up here first.
  Snake: Well, I'm up here for more important reasons. I'm on a stakeout.
  Pichu: Stakeout? For what?
  Snake: Bad guys! Duh! I've rigged the perimeter with landmines, and if any bad guys come here, I'll blow them up.
  Pichu: There are... several things wrong with that plan. First off: What if a good guy shows up?
  (BOOM!)
  Mario: MAMA MIA!
  Pichu: Like... just now?
  Snake: His fault for lacking awareness. Wait... was that Mario?
  Pichu: Huh, I think it was. I guess it's not a completely stupid plan. But... what if WE need to leave? Like... to buy groceries?
  Snake: Do we really need food?
  Pichu: Uh, yeah, if we don't get food, we'll starve!
  Snake: Hunger is a social construct. It was invented by Africa to guilt-trip us into giving them money.
  (Beat)
  Pichu: Snake... is Snake 2 talking to you again?
  Snake: Hey, he actually has some pretty sound advice. You should listen to him sometime.
  Pichu: Oh, gee, yeah, that would be great. The only problem is he's just a hallucination in your head!
  Snake 2: You tell him I'm as real as he is!
  Snake: He says I'm as real as he is and that you should go die.
  Snake 2: No, I'M as real as HE is!
  Snake: That's what I said!
  Snake 2: No, you said that YOU were as real as I was!
  Snake: OK, now he's saying you're as real as I am.
  Snake 2: Oh, forget it!
  Pichu: Right... Anyway, third of all: your plan failed before it even started.
  Snake: What do you mean?
  Pichu: Wolf's a bad guy.
  Snake: Wait, what!? Pichu, you've gotta tell me these things!
  Pichu: It's pretty obvious. I mean it is Lore. Sounds to me like you haven't read it.
  Snake: That's not an excuse! Dammit! I'll have to go plan B!
• When Mario invites everyone in the House of Rejects to join the World of Light, Pichu initially refuses because he believes that no one will take him seriously for being a bad fighter. So, how does Mario convince him to join the others?
  Mario: There's free pizza.
  Pichu: OK, deal.
• The tournament's opening, courtesy of Phil Mustachio and Larry Longbottom.
  Phil: And now for the momentanium you've all been waiting for! The very firstmost tournamentality in the world of Light! As always, I'm your hostess donut, Phil Mustachio!
  Larry: And I'm Larry Longbottom, and-
  Phil: And don't be confusified by the L-before-M on my hat! This was Larry's hat until he lost it in a betulation last seasoning against MINNOW! That means me, by the way.
  Larry: Yes, I lost in a bet against you, Phil. Now can we move on?
• Immediately after the 2 combatants, Pichu and Bayonetta appear on stage, Phil begins the fight in a very... interesting way.
  Larry: Fighters, this will be a 2-stock Battle, no time, and no items. Winner take all.
  Phil: Fighters Reddi-whip! On your Mark Wahlberg... Get set-in-stone... Go, Go, Power Rangers!
  (Bayonetta looks at the hosts with confusion)
  Larry: Um... You guys can start fighting now...

Episode 2 - Heroes and Villains

• Ganondorf saying that Bowser is like a broken record of the worst song ever.
  Lord Douglas: "Baby" by Justin Bieber?
  Ganondorf: No, "Christmas Shoes".
  (The other villains agree)
• The revelation of Vanessa in Episode 2.
  Vanessa: Welcome back, Captain.
  Captain Falcon: Hello, Vanessa.
  Pichu: Woah! This ship has an AI?
  Captain Falcon: No.
  Pichu: Ooh, hot receptionist?
  Captain Falcon: If... you're into that kind of stuff.
  Pichu: What do you mean?
  Vanessa: I'm over here.
  Pichu: Where?
  Vanessa: On your left.
  Pichu: Wait... are you talking about...
  (Vanessa is revealed to be the Parasite Queen)
  Vanessa: Hello! My name is Vanessa, I'm the dispatcher for the Ultimate Heroes for Hire. It is a pleasure to meet you.
  Pichu: Uh... hi?
  Vanessa: You must be Pichu. I must say everyone is quite impressed with your victory in the tournament, including me.
  Pichu: I, uh... thanks?
  Vanessa: You seem nervous... is it because I'm a giant space monster?
  Pichu: Huh? No! No, no, no, no, no! I just-I-I-I mean you're not... I, uh...
  Vanessa: (Giggles) It's okay. I understand I may be a little intimidating at first, but I assure you, I mean you no harm.
• Sonic's first scene in the series has him ranting about his initial design in the trailer for the then-upcoming movie.
  Yoshi: He's just mad because he sold the rights to his movie and so far, the result looks God-awful.
  Sonic: I wear freaking gloves! Gloves, Hollywood! Get it right!
  Yoshi: Welp, we all cope with tragedy in different ways.
• Pichu hitting Sonic for taking his spot in Brawl.
• Pickle's introduction.
  Pichu: Hey, Cap, what's this plant doing over here?
  (Pickle rears up and faces Pichu)
  Pichu: Huh? What the-!?
  Pickle: That's MISTER plant to you, buddy!
  Pichu: It talks?!
  Pickle: Hi, I'm Pickle.
  Pichu: P-Pickle?! Cap, explain!
  Captain Falcon: Pickle here is a genetically modified venus flytrap spliced with the DNA of a piranha. Or just a Piranha Plant. I found the poor guy stranded in an abandoned laboratory. So we took him in and nurtured him.
  Vanessa: Pickle is capable of extraordinary abilities including Venom Spit, Shapeshifting, Elasticity, and he can even breathe fire... But only when he's going backwards, for some reason.
  Pichu: Wow, that's actually really cool.
  Pickle: Uh, no, see, ICE is cool, fire is HOT.
  Captain Falcon: The catch is... his brain didn't develop how the scientists had planned... He essentially has the IQ of a six-year-old with a concussion.
  Pickle: I have a concussion? That would explain a lot.
  Sonic: To be blunt, he's an idiot.
  Captain Falcon: Hey! Sonic, what have I told you? We don't call him that! We call him "special"!
  Pickle: Yeah, Sonic! What's so special about you? Then again, what's so special about me?
  Captain Falcon: Because, uhhhh... you make us laugh all the time. I'm not saying you do dumb things that make us laugh. I mean, you-you're a really good... comedian... Pickle...
  Pickle: (Long gasp) I've always wanted to be a comedian!
  (Imagine Spot of Pickle being a comedian)
  Pickle: Why did the chicken cross the road? Seriously, why? What's up with that?
  (Smash Cut to Pickle being interrogated by a cop after the audience has apparently died)
  Policeman: You say they all died from asphyxiation?
  Pickle: I don't know what that last word means, but yes, that.
  Policeman: Was there a gas attack?
  Pickle: No, no. They just kept laughing and all of a sudden they stopped laughing, and then stopped breathing.
  (Back to reality)
  Pickle: Ahhh... that's the dream.
• Pichu suddenly appearing behind Bowser as the latter is challenging the former.
  Bowser: What the-!? How did you get here so fast!?
  Pichu: All the technology of our day, and you think Lightspeed isn't possible?
  Bowser: Yeah, that makes sense.
• Phil initiating the battle between Pichu and Bowser.
  Phil: Fighters Ready VS Bluey... Prepare to Batman-battle in Three Hammers! Tutu... ONE SECOND!
  (Pichu and Bowser just stand there in confusion)
  Larry: (Sighs) He said... "Fighters ready... Prepare to battle in three, two, one..."
  Pichu: That guy has issues.
  Bowser: Yeah.
  Larry: Just go.
• The whole "We don't talk about Colin" scene. Special mention goes to Yoshi quietly explaining it to Pichu, only for Captain Falcon to stop him.
  Yoshi: Okay, so basically... (Whispers to Pichu)
  Captain Falcon: Hey! Are you talking about exactly what I just told you not to talk about!?
  Yoshi: Huh? No, no, no, no! I'm just telling them about the time you got your... (Clears throat) Blue Falcon stuck in the automatic door.
  Captain Falcon: (Ominously) Good, cuz remember... we do not talk about Colin. (Cheerfully) But you can talk about that. That's perfectly fine. (Walks away)
  Pichu: I have... so many questions.
  Yoshi: I mean, to be fair, he was drunk at the time and he thought he could drive his car through the door.
  Pichu: That just raises more questions than it answers!

Episode 3 - Princess in No Castle

• Marth and Roy's encounter with Cassandra, especially with Marth doing his Shakespeare voice.
  Cassandra: (Growls) Dear Arceus in Heaven, Sheldon, you'd better be gone by the time I turn around, or I swear-
  Marth: Sheldon? I know none by that name. You must have me confused with someone else. I am Marth. The Hero King. And the President of the World of Light.
  Roy: And I'm Roy, his advisor. Although, he never listens to my advice.
  Cassandra: Huh? (Turns to face Marth and Roy) Oh! I'm so sorry! It's just... your manner of speaking... You sounded like someone I know. I-I'm really sorry, sir!
  Marth: Oh, pish-posh, madam. I am not one to hold a grudge. We simply saw you fall out of the sky and came to see if we could help.
  Roy: What happened to you?
  Cassandra: I don't want to talk about it. But I'm trying to get away from home. Away from being forced to live my life how someone else wants me to.
  Marth: Ah, the young maiden who yearns for freedom. Perhaps one of my favorite archetypes.
  Roy: That's what you say about every archetype.
  Marth: Ah, the character who points out the flaws of another. Truly my favorite.
  Roy: I knew showing you TV Tropes was a mistake.
  Cassandra: So, do you think you could help me get acquainted with this world?
  Marth: It would be our utmost pleasure, madam. For 'tis our duties as heroes to help any damsel in distress.
  (Beat)
  Cassandra: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!
  Roy: Oh, crap...
  Marth: Huh?! N-no! I didn't mean anything by it!
  (Cassandra charges at Marth. Smash to Black as we hear Marth being attacked by Cassandra)
  Marth: AHHH! HAVE MERCY!
• The episode's Running Gag of Pickle thinking that it's Yoshi's birthday and spending the whole episode trying to assure him that they haven't forgotten his birthday.
  Pickle: I think we should just tell him about the surprise party.
  Pichu: What?
  Pickle: Just hear me out, OK? Why do we have to pretend we forgot his birthday in order to throw a surprise party? It makes him sad for no reason.
  Pichu: It's not his birthday, Pickle.
  Pickle: (Scoffs) See, now that is just cruel! Making somebody miserable on their birthday?! You all make me so sick, I could puke! (Spews out a cloud of gas, causing everyone to cough)
  Pichu: God! (Cough) What the hell is this stuff?!
  Pickle: (Approaches Yoshi) Yoshi, I would just like to say that we know it's your birthday, and we were just pretending we forgot. We're throwing a surprise birthday party for you.
  Yoshi: What?
  Pickle: I-I mean, we're not! We're not doing a surprise birthday party for you. Yet. (Whispers) And you don't know that because it's a surprise. You can stop being sad now.
  Yoshi: Uh, it's not my birthday, Pickle.
  Pickle: (Turns back to the others) You see what you guys have done?! Now you've even convinced him that it wasn't his birthday! Despicable! I don't know what that word means, but it sounds angry, and I'M angry!
  Yoshi: My birthday's not until November.
  Pickle: How can you live with yourselves knowing you ruined Yoshi's life?!
  Yoshi: Pickle, shut up!
  Pickle: (Grabs Yoshi) NO, YOU SHUT UP! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY TODAY, AND WE WILL DO WHATEVER YOU ASK! WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!
  Yoshi: (Shoves Pickle away) Then leave me alone!
  (Beat)
  Pickle: Okay, bye! Happy birthday! (Returns to the others) See? Problem solved. My work here is done. (Leaves, bouncing off Captain Falcon's head as he does)
• Yoshi at the nightclub's speed-dating event so he can find a new girlfriend.
  Lucina: You even look at me the wrong way, and I'll slash your eyes!
  Yoshi: Next.
  Wii Fit Trainer: Work hard to tone that tummy.
  Yoshi: Next.
  Robette: Have you ever made love to a robot?
  Yoshi: Next.
  Pickle: How the heck did I get here?
  Yoshi: Next.
  Daisy: Hi, I'm Daisy!
  Yoshi: NEXT!
  Maria: (Large Pink version of King K. Rool with a raspy voice) Hi, I'm Maria.
  Yoshi: Oh-no-come on! You know what? No! Just no!
• Cassandra's first encounter with Yoshi. It looks like it's going to be love at first sight, but then Yoshi just rushes right past her.
  Cassandra: Uh, hi there, I-
  Yoshi: Not interested! (Jumps over Cassandra)
  Cassandra: Well, excuse me for greeting you politely!
• Pichu walks in on Yoshi and Cassandra talking together.
  Cassandra: I'm assuming he's a friend of yours?
  Yoshi: Yeah, and he's also super nosy. Which is ironic because his nose is basically a dot while my nose is a basketball.
  Sonic: And my nose is a hot dog!
  Yoshi: Nobody asked you, Sonic.
• Sheldon's attempt to prevent Yoshi from taking Cassandra away from him.
  Sheldon: Halt! Stop right there, thou vacant, paper-faced nuthook! For I am the Honorable, Righteous, Superiorly Handsome and Undisputedly Brave Prince Sheldon and I-
  Yoshi: Boo!
  Sheldon: Waaaah! Don't hurt me!
  Cassandra: Look, Sheldon, what is so hard to understand about "no"? I said no the first time you asked, I said no the TENTH time you asked, and I said no the 26th time you asked! So, when you ask me for the 27th time, "Will you marry me?" I'm going to say no again! Seriously, your skull is thicker than your shell!
• As Yoshi and Sheldon are fighting over who gets Cassandra, Ganondorf shows up, leading to this pretty funny exchange.
  Sheldon: Who goes there!?
  Ganondorf: Simply a rival in your little quest.
  Sheldon: [Begins cowering behind Yoshi] Aah! Bad man!
  Cassandra: Oh, you're such a wimp, Sheldon!
  Ganondorf: [Evil Laugh] That's right! Tremble in fear before the might of the King of Evil himself!
  Yoshi: Oh. It's just Ganondorf.
  Ganondorf: It's JUST Ganondorf? Isn't this the part where you... you know... get scared or hostile?
  (Beat)
  Cassandra: Fine. We'll humor you. [Clears throat] Ohhh, noooo! It's Ganondorf! Whoever that is... Whatever shall we do!? Please protect me, Yoshi!
  Ganondorf: Stop! Just... stop! The moment's passed and now you're being insulting. It just doesn't have the same effect if you're not actually scared!
  Sheldon: I'M scared!
  Yoshi: No one cares.

Episode 4 - With Fighters Like These...

• The entire fire in the kitchen scene.
  • When a fire breaks out in the UHFH's kitchen, Captain Falcon begins to worry about his French Toast.
    Captain Falcon: Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! FIRE! Fire in the kitchen! Sonic, get the fire extinguisher!
    Sonic: The fire extinguisher is what started the fire!
    Captain Falcon: WHAT!? How does that happen!?
    Pichu: Maybe 'cause someone filled the fire extinguisher with gasoline!
    Sonic: Well, maybe because someone switched the labels around on the canister!
    Pickle: Maybe 'cause someone didn't teach me how to read!
    Yoshi: What are you looking at me for!?
    Pickle: Huh? No, I was just saying I... Nobody taught me how to read, so I just put the labels on the wrong cans.
    Captain Falcon: Focus, men! We have a crisis on our hands! My French Toast is BURNING!
    Sonic: "Burn-ing?" Cap, your French toast is long gone by now.
    Captain Falcon: You are such a pessimist, Sonic! For once, just have faith!
    Pichu: Actually, I have to side with Sonic on this one. Your French toast is in fact... toast.
    (Ba-dum-tssh)
    Pichu: Thank you, thank you.
    Sonic: Damn it, that could have been MY pun...
    Yoshi: Why not just get Vanessa to turn on the sprinklers?
    Captain Falcon: Of course! That's genius, Yoshi! Why didn't I think of that? Vanessa! Activate the sprinklers in the kitchen!
    Vanessa: Uh, no can do, sir. You haven't paid the water bill.
    Captain Falcon: What!? I went to the bank yesterday!
    Vanessa: It appears you were $100 short.
    Captain Falcon: Dammit! I'll be right back... (Runs off)
    Yoshi: Wait, you can't just leave us here with this!
    Captain Falcon: Just do what you can! But whatever happens, for god's sake, SAVE MY FRENCH TOAST!!!
  • Then, Cassandra shows up, no longer purple, but instead orange just like any other Charizard. The reason she's orange instead of purple? She dyes her scales once a week, and has decided to go au naturale this week.
  • Pickle attempting to put the fire out by spitting on it. Unsurprisingly, this doesn't work, so how do they solve it? Cassandra just sucks up all the fire.
  • After Cassandra has sucked up all the fire, Pickle mistakes her for someone else.
    Pickle: Wait a minute, who are you!?
    Cassandra: It's me, Pickle.
    Pickle: Me? That's a funny name. It's nice to meet you, Me.
    Cassandra: No, I mean Cassandra.
    Pickle: No, you're not, Cassandra's purple.
    Cassandra: No, it was just Scale Dye.
    Pickle: Oh no! Cassandra died!? She had so much to live for!
    Cassandra: Ugh! Never mind... (Leaves the kitchen)
    Pickle: Wait... did you kill her!?
    Cassandra: (From off-screen) Forget it, Pickle.
    Pickle: Ohhh, I see how it is! Dodging the question, are we?
    Sonic: Aaaand, this is why I hate him.
    Pickle: Oh, Cassandra! Yoshi was gonna marry you! And you were gonna have kids! And I would be the kid because you'd adopt me! Me may be beautiful, but she can never replace you! I'll never forget you... mother...
    Yoshi: Wait, what do I have to do with this?
    Pichu: You know, I... kind of feel bad for him...
    Sonic: Don't, he'll forget about it right about...
    Pickle: (Off-screen) Hey, look at that! The French Toast is okay!
    Sonic: Now.
• Ganondorf singing.
  Ganondorf: #Da-da-da-da-da, Board of Evil! Da-da-da-da-da, Board of Evil!# Hey! (Laughs) Man, this coffee really gets me going.

Episode 5 - Assassin's Breed

• The brief intro parody of CSI: Miami, which is interrupted by Pichu.
  Pichu: Wait, wait, wait! Wrong intro, run it back! Bob, don't make me come over there! (Beat) Yeah, that's what I thought!
• Yoshi and Pichu appearing behind the 2 Inkling bandits as they are robbing a store so they can take the Snickers.
  Pichu: OK, you know the drill, surrender or we're gonna beat you up and take you to jail, yadda-yadda.
  Pete: Uh, Slick?
  Slick: Boy! I thought I told you to get back in the car!
  Pete: No, I said I'd go to the car! You said—
  Slick: Pete, If yo' ass ain't in the car by the time I count to three, I'm gonna be wanted for murder and robbery! And possibly even rape!
  Pete: But—
  Slick: One...
  Pete: Slick!
  Slick: Two...
  Yoshi: Three! (Knocks Pete backwards)
  Slick: What the-!? Boy! Why didn't you tell me the Ultimate Heroes are here!?
  Pete: I was trying to, dumbass!
  Slick: Yo, enough of your excuses, man! We've gotta get in gear!
• After Yoshi and Pichu defeat the 2 bandits, the store clerk who they were trying to rob ends up giving the duo the money and the Snickers they were trying to steal. The reason why he does this?
  Store clerk: I get robbed all the time. In fact, I get robbed enough times that it becomes a tourist attraction, so it compensates for the money I lose from the robbery. And the Snickers I lose too.
  Yoshi: Huh. You learn something new every day.
• The introduction of the series' Running Gag in which whenever a character breaks the fourth wall, their screen KO plays.
• Immediately after Wave is welcomed to the Ultimate Heroes for Hire, Pickle asks her a question.
  Pickle: So, do you eat bugs?
  Pichu: Pickle, that's racist! Just because she's a frog doesn't mean she eats bugs!
  Wave: Oh, but I do. I love me some big juicy caterpillars.
  Pickle: See? I told you eating bugs isn't weird! I saw at least two people do it, it's not weird!
  Sonic: Pickle, you'd eat a rock if somebody put it in your mouth.
  Pickle: It's a good source of minerals, right?
  Pichu: Wrong kind of minerals, Pickle.
• Yoshi and Cassandra go to Wario's Tavern for a bit of lunch. Upon entering, they are greeted by Wario who tells them about the drinks he has on offer, mainly consisting of drinks that are prefaced by his name, such as Wario Tequila, Wario Scotch, Wario Vodka, Wario Gin, Wario Moonshine, and wine.
  Yoshi: Wario Wine?
  Wario: No, just wine. I made it myself! It comes from grapes!
  Yoshi: Dude, that stuff's been around since, like, the Ancient Greeks.
  Wario: Uhh, what?
  Cassandra: Yeah. I've had my fair share of wine back home.
  Wario: Well, uh... nobody needs to know that! [Grabs a laser blaster] Therefore... there must be... no witnesses...
  Yoshi: Are you gonna show us to our table or not?
  Wario: Ah, yes! Follow me, please.
• Wario's Long List of burgers, which includes one that can cause a heart attack in even the healthiest of individuals.
• Joker's terrible "Knock knock" joke.
  Joker: Knock knock.
  Pichu: Um... Who's there?
  Joker: Uganda.
  Pichu: Uganda who?
  Joker: Uganda die, boy!
  (Awkward silence from everyone)
  Joker: Hmm... Tough crowd...
• While the ending is mostly a Tear Jerker after what happened between Pichu and Wave, there is one funny moment from Captain Falcon.
  Yoshi: So Wave was just posing as a hero?
  Pichu: Yeah. It was all a trap.
  Captain Falcon: You mean... she was a guy?
  Pichu: Not that kind of trap, you idiot!

Episode 6 - Good Soldiers Follow Voices

• Captain Falcon's epic staring contest with Pickle that has been going on for over 14 minutes.
  • Cassandra's reaction to how long it's been going for.
    Cassandra: Wow. I don't know whether to be impressed that Falcon's lasted this long, or disappointed that this guy is supposed to be our leader.
    Yoshi: Both is an option, you know.
    Cassandra: Good point.
  • Cap even tries to get Pickle to look behind himself.
    Captain Falcon: (Whispering) Look. Behind you. It's a monkey.
    Pickle: (Whispering) More reason for me to look away. I hate monkeys!
  • Captain Falcon saying that winning against Pickle is more important than answering Snake's call, even going so far as to say that he would staple his eyelids open if he has to.
  • Ultimately, Pickle wins when Snake tells Captain Falcon that he has a mission. Even better, it turns out he only said it so that he could get Captain Falcon's attention.
    Captain Falcon: So you're telling me... you interrupted our staring contest, robbed me of my victory, lied about having a mission, just because you wanted a chat!?
• Cassandra's reaction to Snake 2.
  Cassandra: Great. Absolutely fan-frickin'-tastic. We're hiring a crazed military veteran who's talking to some ghost. Great work, guys! Ultimate Heroes for sure!
• Snake suddenly appearing in the UUFH's briefing room. Apparently the way he got in was not the most sanitary way he could have done it.
  Captain Falcon: Huh? How did you get in here? Our security system would have vaporized you!
  Yoshi: (Sniffs) Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!
  Cassandra: Why? What are you- (Sniffs) Ugh, come on!
  Snake: Well, guess what? You didn't account for the sewage system. Snake one, Ultimate Heroes zero! He-hey, that rhymes!
  Captain Falcon: (Trying not to throw up) Well, since you're here, I supposes you can... Ugh! Vanessa, activate the air freshener!
  Vanessa: Way ahead of you, Captain! (Activates the air freshener)
  Pichu: Ahh, much better!
• The whole Double Entendre scene in which Ridley explains that he was petting a puppy after saying he's considering joining the UUFH after he befriended Fox.
  Bowser: You pet Fox? That's a little forward, don't you think?
  Ridley: No, no. There was a guy in the park, and I asked him if I could pet his dog.
  Bowser: Falco let you pet Fox? I never thought them to be the open relationship kind.
  Ridley: No, I'm talking about a puppy! Like the kind that walks on four legs and was on a leash.
  Bowser: Oh my god! Falco had Fox on a leash and made him walk on all fours?! Have they no decency?! I mean more power to 'em but you don't do that in public!
  Ridley: No! It was a Golden Retriever puppy!
  Bowser: Ohhh...
  Ridley: And it was just so damn cute! I just had to pet it!
  Bowser: Dude, that's a universal reaction. You see cute animals, you want to pet 'em. Let me guess, is it your favorite little Bounty Hunter that's getting you all mushy?
  Ganondorf: (Suddenly appearing behind Ridley) What's getting who all mushy?
  Ridley: Whaa-oh! Ganondorf! Oh, uh, hi! How are ya? Good? Good. It's nothing to worry about.
  Ganondorf: Well, if you say so.
• Ganondorf unwittingly revealing to everyone else on the Board of Evil that he likes listening to Taylor Swift's music.
• Simon Belmont attacking Ness and bringing him to Bayonetta after the latter says "If I were Pichu".
  Ness: If I were Pichu-
  Simon Belmont: (Grabs Ness) A-ha! Thought you could hide behind a disguise, thunder mouse!? I've caught you red-handed!
  Ness: No! I said if I was Pichu! I didn't say I am Pichu!
  Simon Belmont: You can't trick me! I'm Simon Belmont! I cannot be tricked! (Kicks Ness backwards) Miss Bayonetta~! I've got a surprise for you~!
  Bayonetta: It better not be another one of your Twilight fanfictions about how you killed every member of the cast.
  Simon Belmont: Look what I got here!
  Bayonetta: You killed Ness? Bravo, Simon. Can you kill Link next?
  Simon Belmont: No! This is Pichu! He was pretending to be Ness this whole time! Argh!
  Bayonetta: (Stares at Simon Belmont)
  Ness: Ugh... (Gets back onto his feet) Don't ask.
  Bayonetta: You three are about as smart as a chicken after having a stroke.
  Young Link: That doesn't sound very smart.
  Bayonetta: Exactly. Now if you want to make yourselves useful, be anywhere but here.
  Ness: Sorry to bother you, ma'am.
  Bayonetta: Good. It's about time you showed me some respect, Ness.
• Pickle misinterpreting "Tier" as "Tear".
  Pickle: Bottom tears? You mean you cried out of your butt?
  Pichu: No, Pickle, it's "tier", spelled T, I, E, R. That's basically a rank at how good you are at fighting.
  (Beat)
  Pickle: I can't read, but I'm pretty sure that's not how you spell "tear".
  Pichu: God damn, you know? I feel like being Pickle would actually be a lot of fun. I mean, sure I'd be super dumb, but at least I'd be completely happy and care-free.
  Sonic: You wanna be Pickle? I mean, you do you, but that doesn't sound like fun to me.
  Pickle: (Taps Pichu's back) Hey! Nobody's being anybody today! And if you do pretend to be me, I'll call Sue and have her insurance fraud you.
  Pichu: What? You mean you'll sue me for fraud?
  Pickle: Insurance fraud.
  Pichu: No, that's not what insurance fraud is, Pickle.
  Sonic: Just ignore him, Pichu. I'd find my life to be much easier if I did that.
• The Failure Montage of Ness, Simon Belmont and Link trying and failing to catch Pichu and bring him to Bayonetta. Such notable highlights of said montage include:
  • Ness trying to pursue Yoshi and Pichu, only to slip on a Banana Peel and fall down a hole.
  • Simon attempting to shoot Pichu with a Super Scope, only for the shot to bounce off and hit Simon instead. Cue Pichu turning around to reveal that he is wearing a Franklin Badge.
  • Young Link grabbing and hitting an adult Pikachu who proceed to pursue him.
  • Ness laying a pitfall trap to catch Pichu, but only managing to catch Simon instead who beats him up.
  • This ultimately culminates in them encountering a Pichu named Amber:
  Simon Belmont: Ha ha! You thought you could escape from us, Thunder Mouse!? You cannot escape Simon Belmont! ARGH!
  Amber: Do I know you?
  Young Link: What the-!? Pichu's transgender!?
  Ness: So, you thought you could hide from us by switching genders, huh? Well, joke's on you! We're gonna cut out your voicebox so you can't make us look like idiots in front of Bayonetta!
  Amber: W-w-what!? B-but what did I do!?
  Simon Belmont: You know what you did, Thunder Mouse! ARGH!
  Ness: Yeah! And now it's time to pay the pi-
  (Amber absolutely curb-stomps all three of them)
  Ness: Owww...
  Amber: Hm! You're lucky my papa wasn't here to see this! I can guarantee he won't let you off as easy as I did.
• This exchange:
  Cassandra: Ugh, what is it with so many betrayals all of a sudden!?
  Pickle: Maybe because there's no such thing as A-train people!
• Snake's failed quip when Captain Falcon is trying to remind him that they're friends.
  Snake: Well, people change. And if you can't live with the change, then pay with a credit card! (Awkward pause) That... sounded a lot better in my head.
• The ending of the episode when the conflict with Snake has finally been resolved:
  Cassandra: Hey, does anyone else feel like we're... missing something?
  (Cut to Sonic who is stranded on a rock)
  Sonic: OK, phone's dead, I can't swim, and I'm marooned on this rock with no land in sight, but everything is alright. No need to panic. (Beat) OK, NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME TO PANIC! AAAAAAHHHH!
  (Cut back to Yoshi)
  Yoshi: Eh, I'm sure it's nothing important.

Episode 7 - Star-Crossed Love

• Captain Falcon's misadventures with the ship's communication system. First, he accidentally causes it to start playing "Caramelldansen", then he triggers the alarms.
  Vanessa: Cap, you know how to operate the communication system on the ship, yes?
  Captain Falcon: Um... I can figure it out.
  Vanessa: (Sighs) Press the little blue button to answer, OK?
  Captain Falcon: Y-yes! I knew that! I j- (Clears throat) I just... I-I know that you enjoy explaining things, Vanessa. (Chuckles)
  Vanessa: Right.
• The parallel universe where everyone speaks in text that sometimes has grammatical errors, which is supposed to be an Affectionate Parody of RaMz's SmasherZ universe. Even better, it was brought up when Yoshi tells Zelda that Pichu kicked one of the Board of Evil's Brawl-bots into the next dimension.
  (Bowser and Lucario are walking together, when suddenly the brawl-bot that Pichu kicked into the next dimension flies in, accompanied by the Goofy holler, and smacks Bowser in the face)
  Bowser: Owww!! Who did that?!
  (The brawl-bot stands up)
  Bowser: (Approaches the brawl-bot) You could of killed me! ("Of" is corrected to "have") Nobody hits me and gets away with it! (Grabs the brawl-bot and is about to belly flop onto him)
• Samus, Snake, Captain Falcon and Pickle going on a mission together.
  Samus: Alright, everybody ready to go?
  Pickle: Are we there yet?
  Captain Falcon: We haven't started yet, Pickle.
  Pickle: Have we started yet?
  Snake: Okay! I packed all the essentials! Grenades, rockets, rocket launchers, C4, land mines, homing missiles, jihad bombs, bob-ombs, and... trail mix.
  Samus: Sounds like we have everything we need.
  Captain Falcon: Alright! Let's show Ridley our moves!
  Samus: Do you have to say that every time before battle?
  Captain Falcon: What? It's my catchphrase! Can't be a hero without having a catchphrase, right?
  Pickle: Uh oh! I guess that means that I'm not a hero! I'm sorry it had to come to this, guys! (Begins to blow a spiked ball upwards)
  Samus: No, no, Pickle! I know what you're thinking! Don't do it! Cap's wrong! You don't need a catchphrase to be a hero!
  Pickle: (Gasps) How could you lie to me, Captain Falcon!?
  Snake: Tell me again why you brought Pickle on the mission.
  Captain Falcon: Well, Vanessa was too busy to watch him, and Pichu and the others had already left before we started the mission. Me being the responsible one, I felt it best if I looked after him.
  Samus: You mean the kind of responsible who gets drunk and tries to drive his car through a door that it obviously doesn't fit in?
  Snake: That's what she said!
  Samus: Yes. That is what I just said.
• Blue introducing herself to Ridley after he saves her from a murderer.
  Ridley: And to whom do I owe the pleasure?
  Blue: I'm Blue.
  Ridley: I can see that, but what's your name?

Episode 8 - Undercover Koop

• The Ultimate Heroes for Hire commenting on how attractive they think Bowser is. And apparently, 85% of voters think he is hot as well.
  Snake: You only won that last vote because Nintendo nerfed my ass! [Slams into the screen] I was dummy thick!
  Samus: Snake and Falcon tried too, but apparently being a reformed villain and a good dad added onto the appeal.
  Vanessa: And with muscles like his, he's got all the girls swooning over him.
  Cassandra: I can see why. I bet he's fun to cuddle with.
  Bowser: Would you like to find out?
  Yoshi: Y-yeah, Cass, are you... saying you... want to cuddle with him?
  Cassandra: Well, he definitely wouldn't be against it. Why do you ask, Yoshi?
  Yoshi: Huh? No reason, I was just curious! I mean, what do I care that you have the hots for Bowser? Pretty much everyone does. Hell, if I was gay, I'd totally want to get it on with him! (Laughs nervously)
  (Everyone else just stares at Yoshi)
  Yoshi: Stop looking at me! (Exits the area)
  Cassandra: Did he just get jealous?
  Yoshi: (From off-screen) No, I didn't!
  Pichu: Oh yeah, he totally did!
  Cassandra: (Sighs romantically)