Funny / Twice Upon a Time

• Synonamess Botch's "inspiring" speech to his vultures in the more-profane Bill Couterie cut of the film:
  Botch: I just wanna say a few words to you scumbags before you deliver those nightmares. I know some of you have girlfriends and old ladies, and all that kind of crap, and you're probably expecting to get into their feathers tonight! Well, let me just say... tough shit! And for you jerk-offs who think you can hang around here on your fat asses, I have one last thing to say... go suck an egg! So let's get out there and kick some butt! (the vultures do nothing) Okay, slimeballs! Off your keesters! (the vultures still do nothing) Get going! Gung ho! I wanna smell your wind! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
• Everything out of Ralph's mouth, thanks to Lorenzo Music's delivery.
  Ralph: (on the Garbagerie) Well, it does kinda stink but then again, it is garbage.
• Mumford vs. the computer in the Garbagerie. "Don't press my buttons."
• Mumford's reaction upon seeing Botch's accidental use of a half-naked woman in his slide show.
• Ralph's first impression of the Cosmic Clock. "This might take a while. In fact, this might take... a lot of whiles."
• Rod Rescueman introduces himself to the Fairy Godmother.
  FGM: And who are you?
  Rod: Hello, I'm Rod Rescueman.
  FGM: And what does that tell me?
  Rod: My name!
  • Rod's resume. "It's a blank piece of paper, but it's notarized and legal size."
• The sequence after Mumford accidentally broke the main lever in the Cosmic Clock before the spring is released.
• The Fairy Godmother's dry delivery while pretending to be a "Damsel in Distress, currently on fire."
  • Rod sucking up the flames... only to blow them right into FGM's face when he says thank you. She only gives him the job afterward to get him out of her office.
• Rod introducing himself to Ralph and Mum.
  Rod: Would I fail you?
  Ralph: (genuinely unsure) ... I don't know!
• When Rod sees Flora being assaulted by a King Kong Expy (really just a simulation, of course), he rushes off to the rescue, knocking the hand of the ape way. Then, when the hand comes back, Rod swings his fist back to strike again and accidentally knocks Flora out stone cold! Rod mistakenly assumes the monster was the one to hit Flora.
• Flora has enough of Rod and leaves his base, which is a football-shaped blimp floating thousands of feet off the ground. As she plummets to her doom, Rod swoops in to rescue her... right after he's washed and ironed his cape. They both end up crashing on top of a monster about to attack Ralph and Mumford, saving them by sheer accident.
• This exchange, after Rod barges through the door to Greensleeves' cell, knocking it onto Greensleeves.
  Flora: Uncle Greeny, where are you?
  Greensleeves: I'm under the door, ya twits!
  Rod Rescueman: That's a pretty stupid place to be when people are knocking doors down.
• After Greensleeves, whom Flora describes as "short and bent", showers his niece with kisses, an envious Rod says "I should get short and bent." Bonus points for being hit over the head by Ibor immediately afterwards.
• Botch's Villainous Breakdown when he sees a nightmare bomb rolling towards him.
  Synonamess Botch: No! Never! It's too much to bear! I want my blankie! I want my momma!
  • The reveal that the bomb is actually Mumford in a Coincidental Accidental Disguise.

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