Funny / Tuca & Bertie

"You’re not foolin’ me!"

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General

• Tuca constantly trying to sell her idea of a dresser which stores meat in one drawer and cheese in another.
• Like the 90s cartoons it's based on, the show is fond of punctuating random moments with fart noises.

Season 1

The Sugar Bowl

• The Good-Times Montage of Tuca and Bertie living together, starting with getting a couch that's infested with spiders, gleefully spraying bug spray all over it, Tuca bringing a variety of cool things into the living room (a motorcycle, a drumset) to Bertie's disapproval, Tuca making out on the couch with her snake boyfriend, Tuca angrily catching Bertie making out with the same snake boyfriend, Tuca and Bertie beating up the snake boyfriend with pillows, filling the apartment with water and swimming it it, and Tuca throwing up after drinking too much with Bertie and Speckle.
• Speckle putting up a photo of his own face.
• Tuca prepares for a long journey to visit Bertie like she's going on a hike, followed by The Reveal that she's right downstairs.
  • Just how quick is the trip? The podcast Tuca’s listening to never manages to begin proper. We only ever hear the host introducing the podcast and plugging the episode’s sponsor before it cuts off just as Tuca arrives at Bertie’s place.
• The flashback of Bertie over-watering her dried-up cactus, Pricktina. When it doesn't come back to life with water, she starts dumping coffee and soda into it while crying "IS THIS HELPING?!" There's also the fact that she says her cactus "passed away" rather than "died."
• While going through Tuca's box of stuff that she's left behind, Bertie comes across a nudie magazine. She holds it sideways to look at one of the centerfold, only to find a long fold within the centerfold which comes out horizontally. And then keeps going. Vertically.
  Bertie: That's... very specific.
  • And when Speckle catches her looking at it, she shrieks and hides it, screaming "AAA! NOT MY PORN!"
• The whole crux of the episode isn't just that Bertie lent something of Speckle's to Tuca without permission, but that his sugar bowl just happened to include his dead grandmother's ashes! Which just happens to be part of a long, punny family tradition of his.
  Speckle: "Gamby Robin was very sweet, so we mixed her with sugar. My Gumbo was mixed with sage because he was wise. My aunt was mixed with paprika, if you know what I mean."
• Bertie tells Speckle to freeze where he is until she can fix her mistake. He stays frozen in a running pose for the entire episode.
• Tuca revealing a little too much about her relationship with Bruce, the creepy vulture who lives in their building, when she tells him off. Bonus points for Bertie's morbidly fascinated reaction of "Oooo, sick!"
  "Bruce, I am never gonna sleep with you. Again. That was just a one time thing I did twice."
• The show pausing to introduce a completely random background character, complete with details of her life and a message that we will never see her again.
• Tuca's Imagine Spot where she explains that bruschetta, crostinni, croutons and others are really just toast.
• Tuca's other Imagine Spot where her description of Bertie's "normie life bullshit" is illustrated as being a literal Game of Life.
• Pastry Pete getting interrupted while icing a cake, causing the written message to become "Happy Ugghh" in a Freeze-Frame Bonus.
• Pastry Pete accepting Bertie's croissant-baking challenge because it's literally in The Chef's Code. And if you freeze-frame it, you'll see that the rest of it is pretty out there too.
  -"Make vegetables hot and keep fruit cold."
  -"Seriously, nobody likes hot fruit."
  -"Any liquid in a bowl can be sold as soup."
  -"Accept any cooking challenge."
  -"Never utter the word 'mayonnaise' Acceptable synonyms - remoulade, aioli, creamy-cream-a-roux"
  -"If it's brown, cool it down! If it's yellow, you've got a custard, fellow!"
  -"When in doubt, grill a trout."
  -"Protect butter's reputation."
  -"Keep your sweet tooth away from your salt molar."
  -"Whisk drys."
  -"Blend wets."
  -"Don't trust smooth food."
  -"Don't look at the oven."
  -"Never eat a hot dog on purpose."
  -"Keep savory dishes devoid of raisins - Carrots are the future."
  -"Always use more butter than the recipe calls for."
• Tuca judges a croissant competition by judging which is the "croissantier."
• The triumphant harmonica music when Bertie wins.
• Pastry Pete's "Croissant-O-Meter" when tasting Bertie's croissant is as follows: "Gas station" -> "Motel breakfast" -> "So-so" -> "Competent" -> "Heaven" -> "French"
• The ending, which crosses the line so many times you eventually lose count: Speckle's grandmother comes back to life as a cake, which her ashes were baked into at Pastry Petes. She then tells him to eat her so she can rest in peace. As he's about to do so, Tuca, staring with rapt attention, holds up a sign that says "Eat the ghost cake." As Speckle eats his grandmother-cake, he tearfully chats with her about his career. And just when you thought it couldn't get any more audacious, last shot of the episode is grandma-cake having a party in Speckle's stomach with all of the other food he ate (and a cotton swab).

The Promotion

• "I've always been a cog in the machine, but I always wondered what it would be like to be a bigger cog."
• Bertie's monologue about how important she is to her company, ending with her declaring "I want a promotion!" We then pull back and realize she wasn't talking to herself, she was talking to Tuca, who says she asked what Bertie wanted for breakfast.
  • Tuca lists Bertie's breakfast options as cereal, eggs, fish or chocolate cake. She then shoves all of the above into a blender and forces down the resultant cylinder of food while Speckle watches mystified.
• Bertie excitedly telling Speckle and Tuca that the job position that just opened is for senior operations analyst... only to be met by completely blank stares. She then tries to explain exactly what it is... only to give a more complicated answer and be met with continued blank stares.
• Tuca tells Bertie that her boss isn't just going to give her the promotion because she's most qualified if she doesn't ask first.
  Tuca: "So you're just gonna hope your boss remembers you exist, reads your mind and gives you what you what you want?"
  Bertie: "That's been my life approach so far, and it's worked (little bongo sting as she thinks about it)... never times."
  • Doubles as a Stealth Pun: she thinks about it for a Beat!
• Bertie's Imagine Spot about going to ask for her promotion, especially the entire wall lined with "Employee Of The Month" portraits of herself when she imagines "nailing some small talk" with her boss and her less-than-flattering description of Dirk (which is clearly just her venting her frustrations about him).
  "Blah blah blah, I'm Bertie's dumb, annoying co-worker Dirk. I wear too much cologne, I pronounce it 'exspecially' and I usually talk over you, but I just realized I'm a stupid asshole. (finger-guns himself in the head while Blowing a Raspberry) Now I'm gonna go FUCK MYSELF!" (throws his arms up and parades out the door)
  • Bertie Saying Sound Effects Out Loud while imagining speaking up in a meeting.
    "I've done the market research (KAPOW!) and if we double down (BA-BA-BOOM!) on media ad sales...
  • Then everyone starts throwing rose petals at her and her boss literally starts begging her to take the promotion.
  • Her fantasy going Off the Rails when her sentient file cabinet demands to be fed files. Tuca has to snap her out of it.
• Tuca transcribing Dapper Dog's letter to the editor of the Birdtown Gazette:
  Dapper: Dear editor of the Bird Town Gazette: foreseeing increased mobility issues, the black tar potholes on Beak Street have become untenable! As the owner of a vintage touring bicycle, I am endangered and frankly disturbed by the flippancy of our municipal pavers! As famed urbanist Elebert Whitscythe once said, 'roads are but the lymphatic system of the city.' So I urge you to repair Bird Town's concrete crevices post haste! Signed, Dapper T. Dog, fervent citizen velocipede.
  Tuca's letter: Dear Newspaper, potholes suuuuuuuuck. Go jerk off in a lake. Sincerely, Dapper T. Dog, city velociraptor.
  • Bonus points for two other sight gags: one of Tuca eating corn on the cob halfway through instead of typing, and the other of the doodle animation of Tuca dancing as she's reading it back.
  • The Stinger shows him reading the latest edition of Birdtown Gazette. Guess what he finds.
• Tuca's other odd job as a landscaper, turning a hedge into a giant, nude sculpture of herself.
  Client: What are you doing??
  Tuca: Just trimmin' the bush.
  (clips off the leaf covering the hedge sculpture's crotch)
• Dirk's notepad of "cool ideas" being a doodle of him, ripped, riding a surfboard with a sexy woman next to him.
• Take a look at the logo on Dirk's shirt. It's his name.
• Bertie retreating to her cubical to literally just scream "TWEET TWEET TWEET!!" in frustration.
• Bertie's boob gaining a mind of her own (and Awkwafina's voice), leaping off her body and going for a drink, after Dirk starts giving her unwanted sexual advances. When he compliments her remaining boob, Bertie grabs it as it starts to wiggle and yells "Oh no you don't!"
  • While Dirk trying to pass off his remark as a compliment is meant to sound like a lame excuse, the funniest part is he's technically correct: he told Bertie that Holland would give her whatever she wanted as long as she was wearing that tight sweater. So it comes off as both an unwanted come on and an Epic Fail of a compliment.
• Tuca assuming that Bertie is missing a breast because she traded it for her promotion, calling her a "ruthless negotiator."
• The whimsical Disney-esque orchestral music scoring Tuca and Speckle's excited faces as they eagerly await Bertie's news about her promotion. It even goes up a half step when the scene briefly cuts away to Bertie's nervous face, then cuts back to them.
• Tuca accidentally getting her breast stuck in Bertie's boob hole when giving her a hug.
• The Running Gag of characters' terrible jokes being punctuated with a Laugh Track and a logo at the bottom of the screen like sitcom promo.
• "TEMPLATES!" Complete with heavenly choir. And it's spelled wrong each proceeding time!
• The badass montage of Tuca and Bertie passing out flyers for their sexual harassment awareness seminar, complete with nightclub lighting, trap music and the two of them "making it rain," followed by a dead quiet boardroom of bored-looking employees and Bertie being completely dumbfounded that Dirk isn't, as she had optimistically assumed, immediately repenting out of sheer guilt.
• Bertie realizing that, now that she's been promoted, she'll be working later hours. Not only does her office look dingier as a result once it hits her, but when she turns out the window, there's a guy in the building across from her, making the biggest frown ever and looking like he's about to jump. The episode ends on her making a half-hearted "Echh..."

The Deli Guy

• Tuca's entire skeleton jumping out her body and collapsing onto the floor when the Deli Guy touches her finger.
• The entirety of the episode's b-plot of Bertie trying to spice up her sex life with Speckle.
  • Their incredibly formulaic sex life detailed, step by step, exactly like an Ikea instruction manual. It's that formulaic.
  • Bertie looks up a list of "Ten Thousand Hot Mating Dances You Can Do At Home". The first one she clicks on is a "sexy" flapper dance.
    Lizard Flapper: Oh yeah! Come get it, Zaddy! I wanna taste ya!
    Bertie: I don't know about this one, Internet...
    • Other entries on the list include "The Funky Crunky Monkey", "Daggering for Dummies" and "Just Show Him Your Butt Already".
  • The sudden narrator dictating Bertie and Speckle's makeout session like a nature documentary? Funny. The Reveal that it's actually a Cockney-accented human girl peeping into their living room from the adjacent apartment building? Now it's hilarious.
  • The Overly Long Gag of Speckle looking like he's about to unzip Bertie's pants instead of grabbing her left boob (as he usually does). Bertie even raises her fist victoriously... but then he grabs her boob anyway. Apparently he was just ramping up?
  • When Bertie asks if she and Speckle could mix things up in their sex life, he grabs her right boob instead.
  • Speckle tries to liven things up with a little Kinky Spanking. It starts off okay at first, but then Bertie starts actually feeling bad when he starts talking dirty to her. Even without the eventual context of Bertie's psychosexual behavior, it's a situation that most sexually active couples can identify with.
  Speckle: (as he spanks her) You've been a very bad bird and I'm very disappointed in you! Bad bird!
  Bertie: (solemnly) But I'm a good bird...
  Speckle: (still role playing) Oh, you want me to think you're good, but you're a filthy little bird, aren't you?
  Bertie: (starts crying) No I'm not!
  Speckle: Whoa, oh my God, uh, are you crying? Please don't cry—
  Bertie: WAAAAHH!
  Speckle: [panicking] Oh, my God! Oh, no! No, it was just pretend! Warm potato! Warm potato!
  • Speckle's idea of kinky porn is a couple happily moving in together and having completely normal, consensual, respectful missionary sex. Not only that, but the apartment in the porn video looks exactly like his and Bertie's and both participants say many of the chaste, respectful things that Bertie and Speckle say to one another, like "I'm so glad we moved in together" and "I respect that you trust me." And Speckle still feels guilty for liking it. Why? Because the woman in it is a bluebird. He and Bertie end up watching the rest of it like a regular movie and comment on how good the actress in it is, getting a message at the end reading "Congratulations! Nobody has ever finished a porn!" Also, the name of the porno: Two Birds, One Nest.
  • Then, when Speckle asks what her favorite porn is, Bertie subjects him to a three-hour binge of The Nests Of Netherfield, a completely chaste BBC drama with the closest thing to sex being the couple in it sharing a quick peck kiss at the very end. Bertie fangirls over it the whole time, wide-eyed and gleefully mouthing the lines along, and is completely turned on by the end, much to Speckle's confusion.
  Speckle: So, you want me to ignore you for fifteen years and then give you a small peck on the beak?
  (Bertie rubs her eyes in frustration, with the words "why bother?" written on the inside of her eyelids)
  • In stark contrast to Bertie's reaction, Speckle is on the edge of his seat, trembling with fear, as if they had been watching a horror movie.
  • The follow-up show, A Sensible Migration, which parodies chaste romantic British TV shows to an even more ridiculous degree by ending on an old woman writing a love letter to her lost love, only to die mid-writing, her love bursting in to find her and then dying on top of her, and then the castle they're both in crumbling into the sea. The end. Followed by a spot-on parody of BBC TV announcers.
  "Well, that was a very sensible migration indeed. Next up on British Bird Channel, we have a bit of a chat on our talk show, Oh, That's So Edward, then tune in at tea and biscuits-o-clock for Ms. Marzipan's School For Horrid, Horrid Children, followed by seven hours of world news."
  • In the end, Speckle creates an elaborate and completely adorable roleplay based on Bertie's romantic dramas, which she loves. Then Bertie gets anxious when he presses her bare butt up against the window, but Speckle declares, in character, that he wants the whole kingdom to see how marvelous it is. Zoom out to reveal the outside of their apartment, where so many various bits of business are going on ^note Including two women in bikinis putting out a fire in the neighboring apartment, an excavator with a cab full of people, another bird in a bikini twerking on top of it, a dancing palm tree, the snake subway train wrapped around a building visiting a mouse who lives in one apartment and three women with their heads in the exhaust vents on the roof of the bodega doing synchronized swimming moves that neither the viewer nor anyone outside even notices Bertie's pressed ham.
• One of the sex advice books Bertie sees at the store: "How To Fuck Your Computer: You Know You Want To."
• The Cutaway Gag to Mean Mirror Inc. of the boss threatening to fire his own daughter, followed by her looking in one of the mirrors, which flips her off.
• Bertie looks through her planner and becomes increasingly worried at how every single day is exactly the same... until she gets to the end and sighs with relief at one that says "Sweet, Sweet Death." Then she flips to the next page and sees that the exact same schedule waiting for her in the afterlife.
• Tuca's "Bang-Worthy" checklist for the Deli Guy includes "Cute," "Sweet" and "Access to Free Ham."
• Even after getting weirded out by Tuca flashing him and telling her that she's been making the date awkward all night despite his efforts, the Deli Guy still take a moment to compliment her tits.
• The fact that Tuca is so nervous during her date with the Deli Guy, she doesn't even learn his name.
• Tuca flashing her boobs while she and Bertie are hanging out on the fire escape, immediately after their little heart-to-heart, followed by Bertie laughing, briefly considering joining her, pausing, then just going back to laughing. You can just hear the thought process of her going "That looks fun... mmm, nah, I shouldn't." It sums up their relationship perfectly.

The Sex Bugs

• The stages of a panic attack, as illustrated by a pamphlet which appears next to Speckle as he's comforting Bertie: 1. Pre panic attack; 2. Lose shit; 3. Ice cream. Paid for by the Bird Town Ice Cream Council
• When Speckle asks if, as Bertie fears, a snake can crawl in her mouth and lay eggs so that hoards of them fly out of her mouth at the worst possible time, could actually happen, Bertie just shrugs and says "It's only a matter of time."
  • In the end, she gives her presentation with no hitches and is relieved. Cue snakes flying out of Dirk's mouth for absolutely no reason.
• One of Tuca's friends appears on a Judge Judy with a broken arm claiming that a car hit him. As it turn out, he hit the car first.
• Tuca accidentally punching a hole in one of the apartment's paper thin wall and bees pouring out.
  Tuca: Oh no, I made a bee hole! (Hurls the swarm into the bedroom where Speckle's putting on pants and quickly closes the door after it.)
• Bertie's anxiety acting up when she feels like everyone is staring at her walking to the store with Tuca. As it turns out, they're actually staring at Tuca scratching her crotch and doing a silly straddle-walk.
• The W.T.U.S lizard lady informing Bertie that their meetings teach women to stand up for themselves and say "NYEUP!"
• The Reveal that Speckle's brilliant architectural drawings are just crappy, childlike scribbles, all of which reads perfectly to his boss, who calls him "the bad boy of architecture"... then revokes the title from one of his co-workers, who breaks a protractor in anger.
• Bertie worrying that her co-workers will be mad that she forced their big meeting to be postponed. Cut to the board room where her boss gleefully informs them that they're just going to watch a movie, much to everyone's delight. Bonus points for the old CRT TV and DVD player being wheeled in on an AV cart to watch it like they're elementary school students from the 2000s.
• The Running Gag of the police investigator reminding her partner/adult daughter about how disappointed she is that she flunked business school.
  • The investigator's daughter affecting a Simple Country Lawyer voice while pumping Tuca on the witness stand.
  • At the end, the investigator gives her daughter a Pet the Dog moment by saying they can torch her student loans (with the flamethrower they were going to use to exterminate Tuca's sex bugs), then undercuts it by reminding her that she had to co-sign them.
• The makeshift witness stand during the trial in the supermarket, made out of boxes of ice cream which melt into mush in each scene. They also use a corn dog as a mic, which Tuca gradually eats.
• One of the sex bugs somehow makes it onto the jury, wearing a classic "trenchcoat and fedora" disguise.
• Bertie picks a random janitor as her witness, and subjects him to an exaggerated version of The Perry Mason Method.
  Bertie: I presume you're an expert on everything that this store sells. Is that correct, sir?
  Janitor: *ahem* Not at all.
  Bertie: It's no matter. Could you read the instructions for this sex bug medication out loud, please?
  Janitor: "Step one, remove cap. Step two, apply ointment"-
  Bertie: How much do you apply? The whole thing?
  Janitor: Uh... I don't know, uh...
  Bertie: How fast should you apply it? For how long? Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
  Janitor: Uh... uh... I'M CHEATING ON MY WIFE!
  [The jurors gasp]
  Bertie: If he can't be faithful to his wife, then how can we expect Tuca to be faithful to these instructions?
  Juror 1: Oh! She connected two unrelated things!
  Juror 2: It must be true!
• Tuca removing her eye from the side of her face that's away from the camera and putting it on the side facing it just so she can wink at Bertie.
• Tuca's flashback being illustrated with a terrible hand-puppet show. You can even see the top of the puppeteer's head!
• And what does Tuca do with her legion of giant sex bugs? Start a band! Because why the hell not.
• The stinger in which the janitor somehow wanders onto the set of Bertie's musical number.
  Janitor: Where am I?!

Plumage

• Speckle's little song about having fun with Tuca.
  "It's a Tuca and Speckle Day!
  We'll look at houses, and eat snacks!
  Maybe we'll find matching slacks!
  It's Tuca and Speckle Day!"
  • On the "eat snacks" line, Speckle imagines him and Tuca eating Sensible Crackers and Plain Chips.
  • Tuca and Bertie's respective thought balloons when sharing their thoughts: Tuca says it feels weird while imagining riding Speckle like a horse while both of them are naked. When Bertie says she "can't picture it," her thought balloon contains a snowy screen with the words "Footage Not Found." Then Speckle says he can drive and the deal is sealed.
• The leek in the sink.
• Speckle's drunken list of Tuca's odd jobs: "mobile notary, fortune walker, doggie tour guide, and noble motory." Each is accompanied by a stick figure of Tuca, the last being a picture of her in a gown while on a moped.
• The Stinger of Bertie's shredded dress and Speckle's mutt-eaten pants going to Fluffy Cloud Heaven together, complete with Speckle's grandma-cake playing a harp.

The Open House

• After Bertie and Speckle observe that the house is perfect for them, Tuca sees not one, but two other sets of birds who look just like the three of them. Two of them are even called "Borkle and Squeaky".
• Bertie's nightmarish Imagine Spot where she and Speckle have grown into senile old folks... after five years of owning a house together.
  Old Speckle: Sweetie, could you help me change my diaper? Because for some reason, this is how you picture old age.
  • Bonus points for Speckle having an inexplicable old Jewish man voice.
  • And the picture of Speckle's face on the wall.
• The pet shop Tuca visits to buy her pet jaguar being completely overstuffed with goldfish, with the clerk clearly trying to get rid of them as fast as possible with a "buy forty, get one free" sale.
• Speckles looking over his shoulder after Bertie leaves while he's on the phone with the real estate agent, looking like he's about to do something shifty... then smiling as he lets out the little fart he was politely holding in.
• Bertie's internal reaction when her conversation with Pastry Pete starts to hit too close to home.
  Bertie: My boyfriend and I might be buying a house. But I don't know, it's all happening so fast.
  Pastry Pete: Ah. Can't say I recommend it. Buying a house with my ex-wife was a disaster.
  Bertie: Ha-ha.
  [Inside Bertie's mind, her subconcious is running laps up and down the walls with alarm bells blaring]
  Bertie's subconscious: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
• Bertie's subconscious air-humping and going "Ima-gi-na-ry fuck-in'!" when Tuca explains that it's ok for her to have crushes as long as she doesn't act on them.
• Tuca eating Bertie's imaginary baked goods.
• Tuca delivering the episode's punchline about how Speckle and Bertie should move somewhere with better plumbing after clogging their toilet with her omelette, followed by an "Everybody Laughs" Ending as the entire apartment slowly floods with toilet water.

Yeast Week

• The Magical Girl move that Bertie does while preparing the crünt.
• The fact that Pastry Pete's two greatest inventions have almost the same name: the crunt (a combination of crullers and Bundt cake) and the crünt (croissants and Bundt cake).
  Tuca: Why didn't he call it the "boint"?
• Speckle takes a look at the bulge in Tuca's side, complete with a Gross-Up Close-Up, then gleefully puts on a fedora and picks up a briefcase and walks out the door like some sort of vaudeville bit before he's heard retching in the hallway.
• Upon arriving at Yeast Week, Bertie launches into another musical number... only for Pastry Pete (who's been hiding in the bushes for some reason) to tell her that only first-timers do that. Pan over to her right and, indeed, several other characters are singing quite badly (with one happily singing "I'm gonna divorce my husband!").
• Speckle taking over Tuca's Second Life-esque cyber sex job, mistaking it for a regular online game.
• BigHairyStallion69 (the young man from Tuca's cyber sex game who brings her to the hospital) asks the nurse at the front desk if they have any ethernet cables so he can start a LAN party. And gets the appropriate response.
  Nurse (in the most sarcastically chipper voice): Just a second sir. Let me see what I can find!
  (Folds her arms indignantly and gives him an unamused look. After several beats, he gets it and backs away sheepishly.)
• The doctors at the hospital are apparently so clinical and cold that they need a robot just to be nice to the patients while they're checking them. And it just gets more insane from there (helped in no small part by SungWon Cho's hysterical performance).
  Ultra Sam S-380: Nothing to worry about. The doctor is just going to confer with some colleagues and check-
  (The doctor exits. Ultra Sam immediately leans in close to Tuca, his sound wave voice changing from green to red)
  Ultra Sam S-380: Okay, let's cut the shit. I need you to plug in my wife. She's right over there.
  (Pan over to a lamp sitting in the corner.)
  Tuca: She's a lamp?
  Ultra Sam S-380: She's so much more. You're not seeing her in the best... light.
  (Pan back over to the lamp, still sitting there motionless. Ultra Sam looks down in despair)
  Ultra Sam S-380: (tearfully) Oh, she would have laughed at that.
  • The way he whispers "Fuck! Fuck! Be cool! Be cool!" when the doctor returns.
  • "So, uh, if that weird bulge turns out to be cancer, hey, sometimes life gives you cancer, and you make can-cerloin steak."
  • Later, when Tuca is being taken home after surgery, Ultra Sam and his lamp wife are seen knocking out an EMT and escaping in his ambulance.
• Speckle bonding with BigHairyStallion69, yet adamantly refusing to call him by his real name.
  BigHairyStallion69: You can call me Joel.
  [They embrace]
  Speckle: [tearfully] No... I never will...
• The doctors putting the egg removed from Tuca's Fallopian tube into a colorful Easter basket.
• The Stinger, where Dante Ferrari shows up in the cyber sex game and gets harassed by an avatar controlled by his grandmother, still pestering to give her kisses.

The New Bird

• Reflecting on the previous episode, which ends with them having an argument, the intro has Tuca and Bertie glaring at one another... while still dancing. Bertie angrily twerking in Tuca's direction is just priceless.
• The two rhino DJs ending their conversation by pouring a huge line of cocaïne on their mixing table, snorting it together and following with a steamy kiss.

The Jelly Lakes

• Tuca and Bertie embracing and crying so hard that their Ocular Gushers flood the car and push the doors open as they wait for a flock of sheep to pass in front of Bertie's car. One of the sheep even looks on with a tear in its eye.
• Bertie politely asking Tuca for a little quiet time during their ride, which Tuca respectfully agrees to. Cut to mere minutes later, they're happily singing along to a pop song on the radio like nothing happened.
  • During this scene, a squirrel can be seen in the background using a flying squirrel like a kite.
• SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!
• The fake commercial for the Claire's-esque store, Girl Things, a batshit insane spoof of Totally Radical 90s kids' commercials, is just one great gag after another. For example:
  • The girls playing with slap bracelets by slapping a few onto the long neck of one of the girls who's a goose.
  • "Girl Things! Gender is binary!"
  • "Girl Things: Mom's just don't understand." Enter mom, asking the girls if they want pizza. "GET THE FUCK OUT MOM!" Throws all of her girl things at mom.
  • The one girl applying so much lipstick that it eventually covers her entire face. Then eating the lipstick.
• One of the mall walkers falling behind with her friends, who tearfully conclude that she "belongs to the mall now." She then turns into a jewelry-cleaning kiosk.

SweetBeak

• Speckle's (completely justified) Freak Out after Bertie comes back from her impromptu, days-long road trip, which she took without any warning or explanation. While what he says is Played for Drama, depicting it through the show's trademark manic animation keeps it from getting too heavy. Lampshaded by Bertie.
  Bertie: Everything you're saying is totally reasonable, but you sound batshit crazy.
• While preparing to leave Pastry Pete's, Bertie realises that she hasn't gone to work at Conde Nest for about a week, and she is most likely fired. Cut to her office, where Holland hasn't even noticed her absence; if anything, she is actually thriving at work without even being there.
  Holland: [entering Bertie's office; her chair is facing away from him] Hey, Bertie, are you coming to the meeting?
  [silence]
  Holland: Ah, lost in thought. It's good to let the mind wander. And those meetings do drag on. Might be better to sit this one out and keep tackling the "bigger picture" stuff.
  [continued silence]
  Holland: Brilliant! You really know yourself. I long for such clarity! I trust you! Cheers!
• Bertie overplays her hand when boasting about her plans to open her own bakery.
  Bertie: I'll open it by the end of the week!
  Pastry Pete: Impossible!
  Bertie: I'll do it by the end of the day!
  Bertie's Mind: Girl, you stupid.
  Bertie: I didn't finish - day three!
• After getting kicked out of Pastry Pete's Patisserie, Tuca leaves behind some graffiti written in whipped cream.
  Pastry Pete: [reading] "These pastries taste like farts" - That was a one-time experiment! It's called "molecular gastronomy"!
• The Molting Day church play that stars Jeremy, an effeminate boy who plays Saint Oriole.
  Jeremy: Hello, I'm Saint Oriole, and I love to sit in my house, surrounded by all my crap!
  Pastor: Ugh, Jeremy, stick to the script!
• Baker Barb attempts to contact Bertie clandestinely, but her instructions prove to be too vague:
  Bertie: [reading note] "Meet me by the berry stand." ...Which one?
  Barb: [peeking from around the corner] The one with the red banner!
  Bertie: There's, like, four of those!
  Barb: The strawberry and raspberry one. It's called "Mr. Straw-Rasp's Bountiful Bouncing Berry Stand"!
  Bertie: Ohh, okay! ...Where is that?
  Barb: Oh my God. The northwest corner- Just follow me!
• Pastry Pete's "I made you, and I can ruin you" getting turned into a Voice Clip Song during the montage where the news spreads.
• Pastry Pete's Laser-Guided Karma.
  Pastry Pete: Bird town needs another bakery like I need a giant hawk to shit in my mouth.
  (splat)

Season 2

Bird Mechanics

• This moment in which Bertie talks about her anniversary with Speckle:
  Bertie: Look, I know it's silly, but I can't stop worrying I'm going to have a panic attack and ruin our anniversary.
  Therapist: So what normally happens when you panic?
  Bertie: Well, Speckle and Tuca help me, which is terrible. I'm such a burden on them. Like, if I bomb this dinner, Speckle will for sure dump me and get a super chill girlfriend, and she'll be Tuca's new best friend.
  (cut to an Imagine Spot with a surfer girl flamingo)
  Flamingo: I know how to surf, and I never shit.
• This Stop Copying Me moment:
  Therapist: To manually reset your socially neurotic brain, repeat whatever it is your conversation partner is saying.
  Bertie: Repeat whatever it is your partner is saying.
  Therapist: Okay, stop repeating me.
  Bertie: Stop repeating me.
  Therapist: ...you are a very handsome therapist?
  Bertie: What?
• As part of her idea to date several people at once, Tuca has several of her prospective dates paint a nude of her. The first one is an actual photo of a toucan.
  Painter: It's a pleasure to observe you. (dabs paint on Tuca's beak)
  Tuca: This is technically proficient, but where's the soul? The passion? Sorry, you're eliminated! (smashes the painting over her head)
• The surfer girl flamingo who never shits turns out to be real, serving as the waiter at Speckle and Bertie's restaurant date. At the end of the episode, when the restaurant goes up in flames, she becomes terrified as she has her first shit, right on the floor (albeit censored with a tablecloth).

Planteau

• The French bulldog cops who question Tuca and Bertie after they get mugged are voiced by little girls despite being grown men. The sheer Vocal Dissonance is funny enough, but there's also the fact that they take their jobs about as seriously as little girls would.
  Cop 1: Ooh, yay! I love lineups!
  Cop 2: Yay! This is fun! I got this job right outta high school!

Kyle

• One of the swan mother's duckies has a Funny Afro for some reason.
• After Kyle (Bertie's imaginary frat bro self she created as a therapeutic exercise) comes to life as his own independent being, Tuca decides she finds him attractive.
  Tuca: Bertie, can I borrow him for a night of meaningless sex to help relieve the stress of my important new job?
  Bertie: Hmm. Well, he's a facet of myself and a projection of my own insecurity.
  Tuca: Why'd you project him to be so hot? That's on you.
  (Tuca blows a whistle and climbs onto Kyle's back)
  Tuca: Come on. Giddy-up.
  (Kyle carries Tuca out of the apartment)
  Bertie: Tuca! Don't have sex with my inner bird.
  Tuca: (offscreen) Too late. Already did.
• A delay in stop signs is revealed to be because Dapper T. Dog was hired to make them and he chose to write overly verbose warnings on the signs instead of just "stop".
• Bertie's suggestion that Pastry Pete be sent to an island "for bad men." Cue an imagine spot of Bad Man Island, where Pastry Pete, Dirk, Bruce, the creepy plumber guy from season 1, and other exiled men enjoy coconuts, lounge around in the sun, frolic holding hands while wearing leis, and circle jerk around a bonfire at night.
  Bertie: Hmm, no. Th-that's not quite right...

Nighttime Friend

• Tuca attends a showing of the "Vintage Sexy Campy Movie," and one of the actors calls her out as a "virgin" for never seeing the show before. Tuca grabs the mic and boasts that she's the only one in the room who actually has had sex. She then proceeds to give the audience hours of detailed sex education, instructing them on the right way to eat butt and handing out homework by the end of it.
  Tuca: Next week, I want a 1,500 word essay on hand jobs and their use in erotic power structures. And don't be trying to plagiarize! I wrote alllllll those entries on Dickipedia. I'll be able to tell.
• Speckle buys a fitness tracker in the hopes of getting more exercise. Tuca later finds him in town, night after night, exercising in his sleep as his number of steps grows ludicrously high. And she never remembers to mention it.
  Tuca (After Speckle joins a team and starts sleep-rowing): Tuca! Tell. Bertie. This. Shit.

Vibe Check

• The sex shop that Tuca and Bertie attend has a "Build-a-Vibe" section for building sex toys. Tuca makes a hilariously complicated vibrator that makes Bertie's cervix hurt just looking at it.
• After Bertie throws her vibrator into the river believing it to be evil, several other birds throw their own sex toys into the river for similar reasons.
• Bertie's vibrator ends up pleasuring a fish, resulting in odd fish/vibrator hybrid babies.
• Tuca gets anxious looking at her phone when texting Kara and only seeing Kara's "typing" ellipses, and her efforts to ignore it are complicated by everything reminding her of the dots.
  Speckle: I need to call my sister, Dottie...
  Bertie: Ugh, I have aches. I think I'm getting my period, period, period...

The Moss

• As a worker wheels Bruce's stove out, we get this gem:
  Bruce: Yo, Big Beefy, what're you gonna do with that stove?
  Worker: Eh, probably donate it, why?
  Bruce: I got my penne all over it, which is Italian for "noodles" and Spanish for "penis". Guess which language I speak, amigo...
• Speckle trying desperately to find a doorbell that goes "ding-aling", but only finding ones that say "doog-aloo" and "dong-along".
  Doorbell: Dong-along!
  Speckle: DAMN IT!
• After reeling in his Mad Artist tendencies, Speckle pulls out a catalog and asks Bertie to pick a doorknob for the house. He regrets this slightly when she chooses a knob that’s only sold at one, very distant store.
  Speckle: I’ll call you when I land! And when the boat docks. And after I reach the first outpost. Love you!

Corpse Week

• Tuca's niece Tulip asks for a scary story. Tuca tells the story of a bird with a human face who kept forcing people to listen to his shitty mixtape. The tape itself is labeled "Bootleg Live Versions of B-Sides".
• Speckle’s suitcase gets switched with a rancher’s on the bus trip, forcing him to wear the other man’s cowboy style clothes. The rest of episode shows him adopting a cowboy like demeanor.
• When Tuca takes her niece Tulip for a "yum-or-yell", the Corpse Week equivalent of trick-or-treating, they come across an old man who tells them he doesn't have any candy. Since he doesn't have any "yums", Tuca and Tulip do a "yell" by screaming at him and running away.
  Old Man: I hate this holiday! I hope I die before the next one!
• When Tuca and Terry start arguing after Tulip ends up getting an allergic reaction to beets, Tuca says she's calling a cab and leaving if Terry is going to keep treating her like a child. She goes to do just that...but the phone she picks up is a toy phone that plays "Camptown Races".
  Tuca: Uh—they have me on hold, just...

The Dance

• The Cold Open has Bertie show Speckle an app that she states will smoosh their faces together to show what their child ("Little Berkle!") might look like. The process just literally slams the two faces together, resulting in a misshapen, one-eyed monstrosity and Speckle horrified that he and Bertie will supposedly have an ugly baby.
• During Bertie's Imagine Spot of hiding in the paper cup on the bathroom floor and the cup flattening Kara, the cup is also seen rolling over Dirk.
  Dirk: Why am I a part of this?
  Bertie: You annoy me and my subconscious is conflating things!
• Speckle's Brutal Honesty to Bertie after he meets Kara. It's especially funny because he still says it cheerfully like he always does.
  Bertie: Hey, does Kara seem a little...?
  Speckle: Oh, she fully sucks!
  Bertie: RIGHT?? Ugh!

Season 3

Leveling Up

• Speckle's speech introducing his affordable apartment plans includes a play on When Life Gives You Lemons... that goes on a tangent into a baking recipe. Bertie turns to a nearby reporter and whispers, "I helped him write that part of his speech." The reporter replies, "Wowza! What a scoop!" Cut to a Spinning Paper with the headline, "Woman Annoys Reporter."
• How did Tuca meet her new boyfriend Figgy? He was the instructor at a seminar on proper sexual conduct in the workplace, and they hooked up during it.
• Speckle still has his the portrait of the Speckle face hanging on the wall. When Speckle snarks that Winter Garcia is really "into her own face," a quick frame of the "Speckle portrait" is laid over his head.
• Tuca asks if there are virgins on her tour. The only one who answers in the affirmative is a baby, whom Tuca calls a nerd. The baby actually gets self-conscious about it.
• Bertie gets comments from two guys on her company's webpage to "show feet." The Stinger shows these two guys exiting a movie theater which is showing a movie called "Feet" and crying over how good it is. Even funnier, they aren't really animals, but sentient social media profiles.
• Speckle’s freaking out when he found out the IRS ate all the pastries Bertie made for the party.

The Pain Garden

• Tuca thinks all doctors want to sell her urine sample on the internet. The Stinger not only shows that she's right, but that Bruce is the one buying it.
  Bruce: [pumping fist] Pee pee!

The One Where Bertie Gets Eaten By A Snake

• Tuca criticizes a painting by remarking it looks like a baby painted it. We then see that the painting is the words "I struggle with object permanence".
• A woman on the bus gives Bertie her crying child to hold while she plays a game on her mobile phone, the goal of that game being to hold a crying baby.
• Just the fact that apropos of nothing, the snake that eats Bertie is wearing a little top hat. The only snake shown to have any kind of clothing or accessory.

Leaf Raking

• The family Bertie and Speckle talked to when they were pretending to be Tulip's parents turning out to be a family of grifters, with the son managing to take Speckle's wallet when he wasn't looking.

Salad Days

• The Gag Censors where everyone has a pastry appear over their beaks whenever they cuss.
• A quick flashback shows Tuca kicking a ghost in the groin for frightening her.
• Bertie looks around and imagines herself and Winter in place of other women. She stops after imagining Winter in the place of a breastfeeding mother and herself in the place of the baby.

Screech Leeches

• Bertie searches her memories and remembers all of the cool kids in her class. Tuca is then brutally honest and reminds her that all these kids were awkward dorks just like she was. Being cool in high school is still extremely relative in the real world!
• Speckle's Mandatory Line wondering why he's randomly in Bertie's high school memories. Then he gets sent to the principal's office for questioning this.
• Turns out Muriel Nocturna didn't base the Screech Leeches off of Bertie, but rather her little kid for always copying her.
  Muriel: Quit copying me! Get your own nose!

Fledgling Day

• Bertie's mom reunites with a man she knew before she met Birdie's dad, who claims to be dying and awkwardly asks to have anal sex with Bertie's mom before he eventually dies.

Somebirdy's Getting Married

• One of Speckle's exes somehow married and had children (i.e. bricks) with a building Speckle designed.

The Mole

• After Tuca gives birth to Bertie to help her leave her uterus once the growth causing Tuca's cramps is removed, Tuca insists on keeping Bertie small and treating her as if she was her actual baby, calling her "Berby" and "Birthie."

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