Funny / tool

• Every single line of Opiate's hidden track "The Gaping Lotus Experience". The second verse, for instance:
  I had a friend once he took some ecstasy
  Tried to marry me and every one in the room
  He was sort of loving, kinda caring
  Kind of tried to fuck my La-Z-Boy
  It got a bit messy all over the curtains
  Arm chair covers, throw pillows, and carpeting
• This photo.◊ Just look at it.
• "Intermission" off of Ænima almost sounds like it wouldn't be out of place in Monty Python.
  • Specifically, it sounds quite similar to the intermission from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
• The fact that the sixth song off of Fear Inoculum is called "Chocolate Chip Trip" makes it clear Tool is still the same Tool: Masters of trolling.
• After knocking Taylor Swift's Lover off the number one spot on the Billboard charts, her fans were not happy, with many tweeting to the effect of "Who the hell is this dumb old band that came out of nowhere??"
  • The fandom rivalry inspired some unlikely yet surprisingly awesome "Tooler Swift" mashups.
• When the band came on stage to accept the Grammy Award for 'Best Metal Performance' won by "Schism", Danny said "I'd like to thank Satan!", and Justin chipped in "I, uh, want to thank my dad for doing my mom..."
  • It should be mentioned that Best Metal Performance is given out during the non-televised version of the Grammys. So knowing that viewers at home wouldn't see them, Tool decided to have some fun...
• At one concert, a fan tried to usurp the band by jumping on stage. Maynard's response? Tackling him and performing on top of him as if nothing happened. For ten whole minutes.
• "L.A. Municipal Court" off of Salival is nearly 7 whole minutes of a caller slowly losing their sanity over the titular service's automated phone system before giving up and redialing... before landing back into the automated phone system. If you manage to listen to the options listed by the automated voice system past all the heavy banging, you can tell the options make less and less sense as the song goes on.

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