The Simpsons Season 30 / Funny

Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.

640 - "Bart's Not Dead"

Bart tries to convince his mom that he went to heaven after a stupid dare.
Bart: I saw clouds, harps, Abe Lincoln!
Homer: It sounds like Heaven. Were there any other presidents there, boy?
Bart: No.
Homer: It WAS Heaven!
- Marge isn't convinced, so Bart says he saw her father.
Marge: Tell me something he said that only I would recognize.
Bart: He thinks Homer is an idiot. (Marge lights up in belief!)
Bart gets approached by a movie industry for his story.
Reverend: Hello, Bart. We're a Christian movie group.
Bart: So, you give all your profits back to the church?
Emily Deschenel auditions for Marge, confusing Homer so much that he continues to think she is Marge.
The entirety of the movie made about Bart's lie. It's just so over-the-top and ridiculous.

641 - "Heartbreak Hotel"

The montage of Homer and Marge's tryouts for The Amazing Place. After 46 tries, Marge's last video is just this.
Marge: (exhausted) We have no idea what you want. Please just pick us!
Bart and Lisa decide to enroll their parents in the show, feeling that their sad story will help convince the production team to take them. It works once the producers realize they can milk it...except for one
Producer #2: I don't know. It feels a little manipulative.
Lead Producer: You're fired.
- A bit more disturbing, but when the lead first sees Bart and Lisa, she endorses them on the spot thinking they're a pair of married kids.
While Homer and Marge are on the show, Bart has his friends dig a pool. Lisa threatens to tell Patty and Selma, only to find they're in on it.
Patty: What? we want a pool.
Selma: I just got my first wax in years. Hurts so much they had to give me an epidural.
(a few seconds of silence)
Nelson: (confused) Haw-haw?
Marge eventually learns that Homer was the one who messed up on the show and got them eliminated. He offers to sleep on the couch as punishment. Unfortunately, it's a hotel couch so it's right next to the bed.

642 -"My Way or the Highway to Heaven"

The entire opening of Homer becoming lost in the Bob's Burgers restaurant. Especially when the kids decide to name Homer "Bob One."
Bob: Wait, why am I Bob 2?
Ned tries to educate the kids about Heaven.
Ralph: Do the people my daddy shoots go to heaven?
Ned: If they haven't done anything wrong, so most of them yes.
- The kids then fantasize about how to get into heaven. Most are innocuous. Bart? Deathbed repentance.
In Marge's story about her grandmother, she describes how she helped hide American soldiers from Nazi troops. Unfortunately, the Germans here them speaking and investigate.
Lenny: We're cooked. Worse than the Cubs in the '32 Series.
Mel: I'm not a sports guy. Can you use an art metaphor?
Lenny: We'll be chopped up like a Picasso nude!
At the end of the episode, God declares that all souls with good intentions are welcome in Heaven. Cue most good Simpsons characters appearing...except
Mr. Burns: How did I get here?
St. Peter: Oh, you were Smithers' plus one.

643 - "Treehouse of Horror XXIX"

Opening

Homer defeats Cthulhu in an eating contest and gets to name his prize...eating Cthulhu himself.
This hilarious Take That! when the family learns the eating contest is a sham:
Fisherman: You are here to be sacrificed to an evil god from the ocean depths.
Homer (fearfully) : SpongeBob?

A - Invasion of the Pod-y Snatchers

Bart worries that people are acting strangely due to being replaced by pod people. He notices Homer drooling and staring.
Bart: Thank god you're OK.
When Marge's pod replacement tries to attack the kids, Maggie smashes her with a shovel.
Lisa: Gee Maggie, you're sure carrying a lot of resentment towards Mom.
Maggie: (captions) So sick of Goodnight Moon!

B - MultipLISA-ty

Lisa drugs Bart, Milhouse and Nelson to trap them. Bart and Milhouse pass out first. Nelson stays awake long enough to rob them both.
Bart and Nelson try to break down the door to their cage...using Milhouse
Bart: Come on Milhouse, use your brain! The door isn't even cracking.
Nelson: Wait, we were trying to open the door?
What drove Lisa to insanity? Bart found a piece of her homework her teacher dropped, changed it and laughed about it with the guys.
Miss Hoover: I'm sure someone changed this, but I don't care.

C - Geriatric Park

Lisa points out the the Jurassic Park (1993) spoof doesn't need doors as they already flew over them. Mr. Burns checks and found out he already spent 30 million on them.
Hans Moleman turning into a Compsognathus and then getting stepped on by one of the larger seniors, which is a hilarious reminder that not all dinosaurs are big.
- The way his transformation makes out is also just as funny. At first, it looks like he's going to become a large creature just as the other seniors did earlier... Only to shrink down revealing his dinosaur form is of a genus which is famous for being the size of a chicken.
When all of the senior citizens turn into dinosaurs, Frink says they can't kill him as he created them. The newly transformed creatures shrug in agreement and leave. Unfortunately, his co-workers then kill him for being a credit hog.
Frink: You were listed in the footnotes!

644 - "Baby You Can't Drive My Car"

Homer gets fired, again. He decides to tell off Mr. Burns as he leaves.
Homer: You are a crazy wrinkly short piece of garbage.
Burns: I thought I was tall.
Bart can't understand anything happening in the new facility. He asks Lisa and gets a surprising answer.
Lisa: I don't know.
Bart: You don't know? You're as stupid as I am! You're as stupid as I am!
Homer: Kids, you're both stupid in your own special ways!
Lisa: WHAT?! Bart's much stupider than I am.
Marge: Good girl, Lisa. Let your brother win!
Skinner and his mother are driving around in a smart car, with Agnes continuing to torment her son. He asks what to do with her...so the car drives to an assisted suicide facility.

645 - "From Russia Without Love"

Homer has to dis-invite Moe from his Thanksgiving dinner.
Moe: This is how you tell me? In person? Gently? With plenty of notice?
Moe manages to turn one of Bart's prank call back on him.
Nelson insists that his father left to colonize Mars [[and that's why he can't call or write.]] As proof, he offers a Mars bar.
Bart: That's just a stupid candy bar.
Nelson: I need this Bart!
Bart: Fine. He's on Mars.
Nelson: Ha Ha! You're an enabler.
Moe's mail order bride tries to spruce up the restaurant.
Moe: Wow, I haven't seen this many flowers since my mother died. She was hit by a flower truck.
The success of It (2017) hasn't helped Krusty.
Krusty: Now when I'm trapped in the gutter and call kids for help, nothing!

646 - "Werking Mom"

Julio claims that all of the top Tupperware salespeople are drag queens. Several links fly past the screen to confirm this.
Lisa wants to try and make amends between Skinner and his mother. She's planning to put a phony diary in his drawer, but will need to break into his house.
Bart: Here's a key to his house, here's a floor plan for his house, and here's a can of tuna. I'm trying to make his cat really fat.
Marge becomes more self-confident from pretending to be a drag queen. Lisa warns Bart that she grew a backbone, causing him to panic and put back some Whiskey he was trying to shoplift.
When Lisa feels down about failing to help out people, Lunchlady Doris surprises her with a message in her tater tots, which tells her to meet some people who are grateful for her help. Her message for Nelson? "You're expelled."
Homer feels awful for ruining Marge's work as a drag queen. When Moe gives him a suggestion, he chugs his beer and runs out.
Moe: Why do people always run out without paying their tab?
Barney: I don't know, but as God as my witness, I will find out! (chugs a beer and leaves)
Moe: (Holding Lenny and Carl at gunpoint) You two are staying right there!

647 - "Krusty the Clown"

How does Marge react to Lisa's job as a TV reviewer?
Marge: Well, sometimes I wonder if I'm reacting wrongly to TV shows I like.
Lisa passes off the job to Homer, who eventually starts reviewing the Krusty Show. This eventually leads up to Krusty trying to kill Homer in a car chase. Homer...continues to review Krusty.
Homer: Krusty's trying to kill me, which will be the first time he's killed in years!
Homer: Krusty tried to strangle me, but I'm still alive. C+
- Also has this slight in-joke
Krusty: Say you like my show again!
Homer: Why? Is it Season 4 again?
Krusty's circus act where he's bounced around like a ball by seals...until the last one just bites him.
Eventually, the circus shuts down.
Bart: If the circus shuts down, where am I supposed to run away to? College?!
Krusty eventually goes to trial for his attempted murder. He's found not guilty, because everyone thinks it was self-defense to try and kill someone for a bad TV review.

648 - "Daddicus Finch"

When Lisa reads To Kill a Mockingbird, Homer tries to provide commentary on the book.
Homer: Just remember, it was written a long time ago in the South. The horrible racism you're reading about is now everywhere.
Bart claims he's Maggie's hero, only for her to hug Santa's Little Helper. When Bart tries to claim he's Maggie's human hero, she hugs Grandpa.
Bart: Well, I'm your living human hero.
Grandpa: Are you saying I'm dead? Put up your dukes! (Bart does so) Now put up MY dukes! (Bart helps him with it) Now put down your dukes. (Bart does so, and Abe punches him).
Homer runs around with Lisa on his shoulders. Bart gets jealous and so Marge tries the same with him. All he gets is hairballs.
The school therapist has only forty-five seconds for each student due to budget cutbacks. His advice for Bart...act out. Marge...don't have any more children. Maggie...he'll see her in three years.
To make it up to Bart, Marge decides to let him do anything he wants. She advises him to take his time to decide, so he does. He eventually decides when he's elderly and in a nursing home.

649 - "'Tis the 30th Season"

Bart and Lisa pester their parents for a smart TV. Bart makes sense, but why is Lisa insistent?
Lisa: I just want one other smart thing in this house.
When they can't afford the smart TV, a commercial comes on their original describing a huge sale on Black Friday.
Homer: You really aren't a smart TV. You just told us the perfect way to replace you.
Marge assembles a Dancing Santa toy and inadvertently has it set on Norwegian.
Santa toy: [Norwegian accent] Hoy hoy hoy. I ride on a pig. Don't forget to leave me porridge.
Homer reveals that Marge is normally only as happy as the saddest person in the house. Cue him, Bart and Maggie looking at Lisa.
After staying at a crappy hotel to try and cheer up Marge, the kids complain to the manager. She just sprays them with ammonia.
Lisa: At least something in the hotel's clean!
The family eventually leaves to head home, but Bart decides to try and get the money back. He leaves a bunch of amusement park robots in the manager's room, which works.
On the route home, they drive past a church marquee, changing "A New Star Was Risen" to "New Star Wars," prompting a huge rush of people to run in. The priest sees this and decides to lock the doors.
They later see the first snowfall and try to catch it, not seeing it's asbestos.

650 - "Mad About The Toy"

When Grandpa babysits the kids, Lisa begs Bart to find a way to shut off his oldtime program. Bart does so, by eating the batteries.
The kids want to play Monopoly, only to find Homer took out all the cash and left an IOU.
Homer: Park the car, my man. Here's a tip.
Wise Guy: Sir, this is monopoly money.
Homer: Here's a hundred.
Wise Guy: Yes, sir!
Abe freaks out after seeing army men, prompting him to go to a psychiatric hospital.
Abe: I'm not crazy. I'm as sane as the next guy!
Marge: Grandpa, there's no one there.
Abe tries to celebrate the end of the war by re-creating the V-Day kiss. He gets punched out.
Nurse: The war ended two years ago, you creep!
Grandpa argues with the MSNBC host about the show last word, with both insisting on getting the actual last word.
The family takes a trip around New York. The eventually go to a candy factory, with each member with a huge bag of candy. Homer takes an actor in an M&M suit.
The family goes to see the toy company which cheated Grandpa out some money. While there, he engages in 50s style sexual harrassment of his secretary.
Lisa: Haven't you ever tried telling him off?
Secretary: No, but I spike his coffee with mercury.
When the family later has to drive through Texas, they see a few signs. "Don't mess with Texas. Do mess with Oklahoma!"

651 - "The Girl on the Bus"

Lisa asks about her new friend's mother's career.
Mother: I'm a marine biologist. I was in an improv group, and fell in love with the work.
Lisa jumps through hoops to find ways to describe her family. When she gets to Bart, she says he doesn't exist.
Bart: That's my kind of life!
When Homer texts Lisa that he can't find his phone, Lisa replies that he's texting on it. Homer then sends a GIF of himself backing into the hedge.
The couch gag has Thanos on the family couch, who proceeds to use Maggie's pacifier as an Infinity Stone. He then dusts the rest of the family, with Maggie joining him on the couch, and the Infinity Gauntlet sucking the pacifier.

652 - "I'm Dancing As Fat As I Can"

When Bart and Lisa try to watch the Stranger Things parody which Marge asked Homer not to, he immediately tries to find something else. The next thing on Netflix? BoJack Horseman parody
Homer: Too depressing.
Netflix also had these shows as similar to "80s show with a monster:" ALF, Roseanne, Moonlighting, The Cosby Show.
What does Marge watch when Homer's not around? His vitals
The last time Homer and Marge tried dancing, they went to a rave. What happened when Homer tried to do the worm? He broke his neck.
Lisa gets moved to tears by her parents' reconciliation dance. Bart's reaction?:
Bart: I got a run of 89 (in paddleball)
Lisa: You just missed one of the most beautiful moments in Mom and Dad's life!
Bart: Run of 89's pretty good.

653 - "The Clown Stays in the Picture"

Krusty's dream plan to break up Homer and Marge: re-create the house stunt from Steamboat Bill, Jr., with only Marge fitting in the window hole.
Homer gets all the dangerous jobs on set: stunt double, searching for random objects in the desert, and telling the crew that there are no more breakfast burritos.
The cactus hallucination scene
The movie crew tries to rescue Homer after he gets kidnapped. Unfortunately, all they have are movie props. They don't work well against real guns.

654 - "101 Mitigations"

Homer tries to tell his kids not to take advantage of loopholes, only to immediately see that a restaurant gave him a new car.
After the joyride, the family has to return the car.
Homer: Now kids, you're about to learn that any joyful time will have consequences.
Bart: We know. Why do you think we were born?
Homer trying to plead his case to Judge Snyder, saying he only stole the car to spend time with his kids.
Snyder: Now look here, I'm a judge!... But I'm also a father...A father whose ex-wife only lets him see his kids on summers and Christmas.
- Ultimately, his pleading fails
Homer: I'm not the one on trial here!
Snyder: Yes, you are!
Guillermo del Toro's love of monsters even extends to Mr. Burns
The family tries to make a video showing how well loved Homer is. It requires some editing.
- After it looks like it fails, Bart shows Lisa a drawing of possible future fathers: Flanders, Bumblebee Man and Selma.
After Homer and Comic Book Guy resolve their issues, Homer wants to know if he's still going to prison. Comic Book Guy instead invites him to Comic-Con
Homer: Is prison still an option?
The epilogue: Bart tries to use his own mitigation video to convince Skinner to let him leave detention. Skinner refuses, but Bart left while he was watching.

655 - "I Want You (She's So Heavy)"

Bart draws another tournament bracket with Simpsons' characters for the chalkboard gag.
Homer and Marge are wearing mikes from when they pretend to be guest speakers when they fall down the stairs. Their moans are mistaken for...something else.
Concert Attendee: I guess we should stop listening.
Clean-Up Crew: No one's making you stay!
Bart's attempt to help his father with his injury includes putting a beer out of reach.
Bart: I've been watching Animal Planet. If it can't reach it's food, the hippo dies.
Homer reads off a list of possible side effects from a medication. At first it seems he doesn't get the first one, hallucinations, then he starts hearing a voice.
Homer: Oh, why is it never hair growth?

656 - "E My Sports"

Lisa threatens to be bad since it seems Bart is being rewarded for his bad behavior. Everyone laughs.
Bart's team wins a video game tournament at school with a $1000 prize. Skinner tries to give him the money, but can't.
Bart: Come on Seymour, let go!
Skinner: I'm trying, but I can't. I've never had this much money before.
Homer asks Bart to sit on his knee. Bart thinks he's too old, but Homer insists. His knee breaks.
Lisa's life goals: Visit a Buddhist monastery in South Korea, get Homer to recycle and be one inch taller than Bart.

657 - "Bart Vs. Itchy & Scratchy"

Marge has an interesting interpretation about Itchy and Scratchy.
Marge: I always thought they were a married couple, and that's why they fought?
Lisa: Mom, they're different species.
Marge: I don't know what to be liberal about anymore.
Bart tries to escape an angry mob. He tries to get into the art room, but its closed to budget cuts. So is the fire escape.
Skinner sees the demand from the taggers.
Skinner: I don't negotiate with terrorists. I just give in.
Milhouse decides to lead the other boys of Springfield to resist feminization of their favorite products. The name of their organization: Boys Rights Association.
Bart offers Lisa to come along, but she's afraid of getting hurt. Good mix of insulting and Dare to Be Badass.
Bart: Hey if you want to be all talk, that's fine. Feminists need cheerleaders too.

658 - "Girl's in the Band"

Mr. Largo forcing the students to hold a high note after getting an email from a scout.
Bart's not happy about coming to Lisa's practice in the next city.
Bart: Why do I have to come? I specifically became good at nothing to avoid these car trips.
Marge: If you were me, would you trust you home alone? (Bart imagines himself supervising a cage fight between an alligator and horse)
Everything with the music teacher, who's basically J. K. Simmons channeling his character from Whiplash but crazier.
Teacher: I had a difficult choice once. Music teacher or prison guard. I picked the one where I could be crueler.
- Lisa even calls him out on this.
Lisa: You know, you're pretty mean for a teacher.
Teacher: Think this is mean? You should see me as a father.

659 - "I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh"

Chief Wiggum brings his real gun to a play of Oklahoma!, which is bad news for Lou with the prop.
Marge and Lisa arguing F. Scott Fitzgerald quotes
Homer tries to reassure Marge that she'll be a great director
Homer: Anyone who can raise two girls and two boys like you do can manage anything!
Apparently no one in Springfield has heard the phrase "Break a leg" and all take it literally
Krusty: Why would I wish that? It's violent and cruel!

660 - "D'Oh Canada"

The chalkboard gag. Bart writes "HAW-HAW!" in huge lettering, then flips the board to reveal that he duct taped Nelson to the other side.
How does the safety manager react when Lisa accidentally goes over Niagara Falls?
Wise Guy: OK, time to take a sick day.
Marge describes Lisa as the heart and soul of the family.
Bart: Well, what am I?
Homer: You're the spleen. We don't know what you do and we don't care.

661 - "Woo-Hoo Dunnit"

As the episode is a parody of a crime documentary, the series uses a smiling photo of the family to introduce them.. only for it later to show the couch is being repossessed in the photo.
Lisa's 911 phone call
Lisa: There's been a robbery! Send help now!
Operator: I didn't hear a please.
Lisa: This is an emergency! You don't have to say please.
Operator: Sounds like what someone stole is your manners.
Lisa: Please.
Operator: Help is on the way. You're welcome!
Lisa: Could I get your name, please? And the name of your supervisor, if I may?
Operator: Help is no longer on the way.
Bart's introduction in the documentary.
Bart: I've been waiting for you. (dumps bucket of water on cameraman)
The narrator has some brilliant snark about the situation
Narrator: Lisa's $650.74 college fund was stolen. Her dreams of three weeks of college, without a meal plan, were gone.
Narrator: Surprisingly, the mystery would not be solved in the first five minutes of the show.
Narrator: Well, we didn't solve the mystery. But we watched awful things happen to people who weren't us. And isn't that what life's all about?

662 - "Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion"

"If you or a loved one experience any of these side effects, please remember that life is heartless and brutal, and the cosmos is indifferent to us all."
Lindsey Naegle: Does Everything
Marge tries to bribe Chief Wiggum with a body rub. She doesn't take into account his surface area.
Bart distracts Lisa from her suspicions with a Tibetan Singing Bowl
Another folk healer tries to intimidate Marge by throwing a rock through the window. It's message: Peace.
Marge: This Means War!!
Bart's reaction when he realizes how disappointed his mom will be when she finds out he's been lying about the crystals helping him.
Bart: How do I make this guilt go away?
Lisa: Tell her the truth.
Bart: Nah, keep pitching.
Homer hosts a book club that no one bothered to read...except one.
Cletus: I learned Swedish to read this here book, ;;(picks up shotgun)'' and we are gonna discuss it.

Funny / The Simpsons Season 30

640 - "Bart's Not Dead"

641 - "Heartbreak Hotel"

642 -"My Way or the Highway to Heaven"

643 - "Treehouse of Horror XXIX"

Opening

A - Invasion of the Pod-y Snatchers

B - MultipLISA-ty

C - Geriatric Park

644 - "Baby You Can't Drive My Car"

645 - "From Russia Without Love"

646 - "Werking Mom"

647 - "Krusty the Clown"

648 - "Daddicus Finch"

649 - "'Tis the 30th Season"

650 - "Mad About The Toy"

651 - "The Girl on the Bus"

652 - "I'm Dancing As Fat As I Can"

653 - "The Clown Stays in the Picture"

654 - "101 Mitigations"

655 - "I Want You (She's So Heavy)"

656 - "E My Sports"

657 - "Bart Vs. Itchy & Scratchy"

658 - "Girl's in the Band"

659 - "I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh"

660 - "D'Oh Canada"

661 - "Woo-Hoo Dunnit"

662 - "Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion"

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Funny / The Simpsons Season 30

Edit Locked

640 - "Bart's Not Dead"

641 - "Heartbreak Hotel"

642 -"My Way or the Highway to Heaven"

643 - "Treehouse of Horror XXIX"

Opening

A - Invasion of the Pod-y Snatchers

B - MultipLISA-ty

C - Geriatric Park

644 - "Baby You Can't Drive My Car"

645 - "From Russia Without Love"

646 - "Werking Mom"

647 - "Krusty the Clown"

648 - "Daddicus Finch"

649 - "'Tis the 30th Season"

650 - "Mad About The Toy"

651 - "The Girl on the Bus"

652 - "I'm Dancing As Fat As I Can"

653 - "The Clown Stays in the Picture"

654 - "101 Mitigations"

655 - "I Want You (She's So Heavy)"

656 - "E My Sports"

657 - "Bart Vs. Itchy & Scratchy"

658 - "Girl's in the Band"

659 - "I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh"

660 - "D'Oh Canada"

661 - "Woo-Hoo Dunnit"

662 - "Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion"

Previous

Index

Next