Funny / The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel

• This little exchange between Perenelle and Areop-Enap when they meet on Alcatraz:
  Areop-Enap: The last time we met, you tried to kill me!
  Perenelle: You and your disciples tried to sacrifice me by throwing me into the mouth of an erupting volcano. Naturally I was a little upset.
  • And when they're reunited in the last book.
  Perenelle: You remember my husband, Nicholas.
  Areop-Enap: He dropped a mountain on me once.
  Nicholas: In my defence, you were throwing my wife into an erupting volcano. And it was a small mountain.
  Areop-Enap: It was.
• Josh making the terrible mistake of asking Hekate about her daughter or granddaughter, not knowing that she ages a lifetime each day. Naturally she's a little offended.
• Josh doesn't find out that Aunt Agnes is Tsagaglalal until halfway through The Enchantress (Sophie found out at the start of The Warlock) so when he does find out it's in the middle of a very tense situation with their parents so while Sophie is trying to argue with them, Josh keeps mouthing "Aunt Agnes?" at her.
  • And when Sophie meets the past version of her, the latter is trying to stop the twins from doing anything stupid. Sophie bursts out laughing and tells her she'll still be waving her finger the same way in 10,000 years.
• Scatty has just explained the rules of Hekate's house just before they go to dinner and remarks that she won't be eating the meat.
  Josh: (thinking Hekate has poisoned it) Why? Why won't you eat the meat?
  Scatty: I'm a vegetarian.
• Most of the exchanges between Billy the Kid and Niccolo Machiavelli, most notably Billy asking Niccolo whether he is a Trekkie.
  Machiavelli: Billy, I ran one of the most sophisticated secret service organizations in the world. I did not have time for Star Trek. (Beat) I was more of a Star Wars fan.
• Hel is an Elder worshipped by ancient Scandinavians as a goddess of death and decay. So how does she begin attacking the Sphinx, a creature that can feed off even an Elder's life force? With a Your Mom joke, of course!
  Hel: Your mother is so ugly, not even magic mirrors will talk to her!
• "That was a Golem." "Like in The Lord of the Rings?" It'd be funny anyway, but the golem is described, and it looks nothing like Gollum.
• After the first battle with Dee, Nicholas tries to explain it away as a gas leak. Josh and Sophie both exchange a look at say in unison (and magnificent sitcom fashion) "Lame".
• When Nereus first shows up, Perenelle asks "do you know who I am?" and Nereus says he was only sent to kill "a sorceress". Perenelle then delivers a Badass Boast.
  Nereus: Oh, that sorceress.
  Perenelle: Yes, that sorceress.
• When Palamedes introduces himself he immediately says "don't call me Pally". What's the first thing Will calls him when they meet up? Might also double as a Heartwarming Moment since Palamedes allows him to use that nickname.
• Josh's true heritage. He's a Neanderthal.
• After having to deal with all the monsters on Alcatraz, Billy the Kid remarks that he'll be going vegan from now on.
  • Before having to take on a Giant Crab, he and Black Hawk get into an argument about what the crab's front claws are called.
• It's a Running Gag in The Enchantress that when battles with monsters begin, one character will scold another in the scene with "you don't have to look so happy about it".
• Before they crash into the Yggdrassil, Joan, St Germain and Palamedes start listing their favourite last words from Shakespeare plays. Scathach is not amused.
  "Are you all quite finished with the death quotes?"

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