Funny / The Orville

Season 1

Episode 1: "Old Wounds"

• At the pilot's very start, when Ed sees Kelly sweating the sheets with a blue alien and immediately pulls a Screw This, I'm Outta Here without letting Kelly explain.
• The Orville is called in to protect a science facility that has developed technology capable of accelerating the flow of time. Before they explain, a banana is used in a demonstration, desiccating in seconds. Ed and Kelly promptly tag team some snark until the explanation begins.
  Ed: So ... it's an anti-banana ray.
  Kelly: That's really interesting.
  Ed: We need no longer fear the banana.
  Kelly: Does it work on all fruit?
  Ed: What about salads?
• Our introduction to Bortus' Bizarre Alien Biology:
  Bortus: Moclans only urinate once a year.
  Ed: Really? I'm up twice a night.
  Bortus: That is unfortunate.
  Ed: Yes. (wistful look into the distance) Yes it is.
• The seatbelts. As soon as you see them, it seems like an amusing nod to Star Trek. Then they become important, and it's hilarious.
• Mercer points out that the marriage counselor Grayson wanted them to see was her brother-in-law. Without some clarification, Mercer's statement could be taken to refer to his brother.
• Ed and Kelly bicker about their divorce in front of the Krill commander in an attempt to buy some time, only for Ed to angrily cut the argument short when the Krill takes Kelly's side.
  Ed: "That would be self-" oh, like you're both friggin' saints!
• When meeting Captain Mercer for the first time, Lieutenant LaMarr's only concern is whether the new boss is cool with him drinking soda on the bridge. Mercer, after a moment of consideration, allows it, as long as he keeps the cup under the consoles so nothing gets damaged with a spill. Later on, we see LaMarr sipping soda from a straw and indeed keeping it below the console exactly as instructed.
• After his Pre-Mortem One-Liner about Arbor Day, Mercer is annoyed he has to explain it to the crew, as the holiday is a bit obscure even among Earth natives. When he challenges Grayson about what she would have said:
  Grayson: I would've said, "You got wood!"
  Crew enthusiastically like it.
  Mercer: (Dejected) Yeah, that's actually better, isn't it.

Episode 2: "Command Performance"

• This episode introduces the Matter Replicator. Kelly uses it to make a pot brownie and Alara to get tequila.
• Alara's Rousing Speech to the crew to win them back to her side.
  Alara: Can I have everyone's attention please? I have been given a direct order by the Fleet Admiralty to abandon the search for Captain Mercer and Commander Grayson. But, as far as I'm concerned, they can bite me because we're going anyway.
• Overwhelmed by the responsibility of captaining the Orville, Alara, planning to beg Bortus to cut his maternity leave short and take command of the ship from her, rushes to Bortus's quarters and busts in uninvited. To her shock and his irritation, she finds him stark naked, in the midst of incubating his egg.
  Alara: Commander, the Captain...oh God!
  Bortus: Is it not customary to request permission before entering someone else's quarters?
• Isaac introduces Alara to the zookeeper as his pet.
  Alara: (utterly deadpan) Woof.
  • Later on, Isaac convinces the zookeeper to hear Alara out (up to this point, he's refused to even speak to her.)
    Zookeeper: Speak, Xelayan.
    Alara: Thanks, Dick.
    Isaac: That is a compliment.
• The Reveal of what Alara was able to offer in trade for Mercer, Grayson, and an additional alien child: 21st-century Reality Television. Several Real Life TV shows get name-dropped as the Calivon stare in rapt fascination.
  • For bonus points, there's a Funny Background Event where you can see the chatty alien in the exhibit on the other side of the corridor peering over the crowd, struggling to get a good view of the screen.
  • The Zoo keeper is scrolling through the files they were given in shocked awe. When another Calivon asks what Reality Television is, he responds in sincere, wide-eyed awe: "Our greatest exhibit ever." And by the reaction of the visiting Calivon, he's objectively correct.
• After Claire spends the episode dispensing sage advice on Alara's difficult first time in the Captain's Chair, Alara hits her up with some bad news on her way to rescue Mercer and Grayson:
  Alara: Oh, Clara, I have bad news.
  Claire: What's wrong?
  Alara: You're the ranking officer, which means you have command. Enjoy.
  Claire: ... Son of a bitch.

Episode 3: "About A Girl"

• Mercer, Malloy and LaMarr are doing a holographic game of being lawmen tracking down an outlaw. Mercer is ready for a showdown...and the bandit suddenly says he wants it to be a dance-off. Mercer is baffled while Malloy says he just wanted to "shake it up." Mercer has to leave as the bandit dances to Cyndi Lauper and Malloy and LaMarr bounce their heads with the music.
• 400 years in the future, and Monopoly is still a source of conflict.
  Kelly: We have Scrabble. We have Candy Land. We have Monopoly. You can be the car.
  Ed: Kel, I'm always the car.
  Kelly: Yeah, but maybe this one time, since he's our guest.
  Beat
  Ed: You can be the thimble.
• Malloy and LaMarr use Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer to convince Bortus to change his mind about the operation. It works, which is heartwarming, but Bortus somehow came to the conclusion that Rudolph's father wanted to euthanize him.
  • Also hilarious is Bortus's facial expression while watching it. He's absolutely riveted by it.
  • You'd be forgiven for thinking that his revelation is actually a sarcastic confession about realizing the meaning of the movie, given how he delivers his line.
  • This gets a hilarious callback later when Bortus is discussing Klyden's reveal that he was born female. Klyden says that without his parents "correcting him", he would have been an outcast. Bortus' response?
    Bortus: OR PERHAPS YOU WOULD HAVE ACHIEVED GLORY, GUIDING SANTA CLAUS ON CHRISTMAS EVE!!"
    Klyden: o.O
• Bortus leaves his child in their care while he goes to convince Clyden. LaMarr points out that Bortus left a child in the care of two drunk dudes. Malloy comments that his father would do the same... and remembers it positively.
• Commander Grayson does not take kindly to certain assumptions.
  Grayson: So to you people, being a woman is like having chronic diarrhea.
  Mercer: Kell, I think we should focus...
  Grayson: Hey doc, I'm not feeling well. I've had the tits all day.
• Mercer confronts a Moclan commander.
  Moclan: You are a very fragile thing, Captain, do you know that?
  Mercer: There's an anti-bullying law named after me, so yeah, I do know that.
• Bortus quotes a revered Moclan author, saying it's customary for a reply by an author of another person's homeworld in response.
  Grayson: I'm a survivor. I'm not gonna give up. Not gonna stop, gonna work harder.
  Bortus: Those are words of great power. Who wrote them?
  Mercer: I think it was actually about fifteen different people.
  Bortus: They must be very wise, these fifteen people.
• Grayson calls Malloy to the stand to talk about Earth history. Among his answers: Unable to remember the capital of the United States ("Nabisco?"), the four chambers of the human heart including "Chamber of Secrets" and "Chamber of Horrors", and "Bill Nye the Cancer Guy" curing cancer.
  Grayson: My point is made. While this man may be the best pilot in the fleet...he's also an idiot. Sorry, Malloy.
  Malloy: Totally okay.
• The Moclan advocate talks to Finn about refusing to do surgery on the child.
  Advocate: Captain Mercer, tell me about your penis.
  Mercer: Did...I miss a segue of some kind?
  Advocate: Are you circumcised?
  Mercer: I don't usually discuss that until the second date.

Episode 4: "If the Stars Should Appear"

• Klyden attempting a Heartbreak and Ice Cream after an argument with Bortus. While watching The Sound of Music.
• The captain knocking on a door to be greeted by a woman, who immediately slams the door on him, causing Ed to sarcastically say he's a Jehovah's witness.
  • Isaac comments that perhaps the woman feared Ed is not sexually adequate (they were discussing Ed and Kelly's divorce a few moments prior). Given that the woman had an Oh, Crap! expression before slamming the door, it gives a hilarious mental image that she was so horrified at Ed's sexual inadequacy she slammed the door on him.
  • When they try again, they are met by the husband. Wielding a shotgun. The group is forced to stun him so they can try talking to the wife again. The ensuing conversation gets awkward when the fact that they shot the husband keeps getting brought up. Star Trek characters never had to apologize so much for stunning someone.
• Grayson's outrageous lie when asked where her friends are. She references Friends, and finishes with "Just don't hurt the monkey."
• When Commander Grayson is tied to a chair and being tortured, she lets out a few defiant insults. Caps with a joke about her captor's mom.
  Leader: Where are your friends?
  Grayson: Well, last time I saw them, one of them was banging your mom, and the other one was high-fiving him.
• She follows it up with another zinger after her captors break out a hypodermic needle.
  Leader: Do you know what this is?
  Grayson: Scale model of your penis?
• This episode also features a cameo by Liam Neeson! Seems like being a badass spans centuries...

Episode 5: "Pria"

• The entire bridge crew is watching Seinfeld (specifically "The Junior Mint") on the main viewer just to teach Isaac humor. Mildly Military at its finest.
• Malloy fitting Isaac's head with Mr. Potato Head pieces as a joke, and Isaac failing to notice because his "face" is just a convenience for organic life that he doesn't actually need to see.
• Isaac's idea of a practical joke. Amputating Malloy's leg while he sleeps and hiding it.
• The Brick Joke involving Malloy's leg. Words don't do it justice.
• After picking up Malloy's amputated leg, Alara quite deliberately turns so it kicks Mercer. He had it coming.
• The scene where Kelly and Alara are justifying why they were snooping in Pria's guest quarters, explaining they found her mystery device. Ed pointedly asks if they found her diary and went snooping. They admit they didn't because they couldn't find one. Ed stares at them with an expression of pure "WTF is wrong with you?!"

Episode 6: "Krill"

• The opening scene where the crew discover Bortus' race can literally eat and digest anything needs to be seen to be appreciated.
  • Same scene, Isaac offers this gem:
  Isaac: I am fascinated by the interpersonal behavior of biological organisms. I would be happy to attempt sexual relations with you, Lieutenant.
  Alara: [after a Stunned Silence from the entire table] ...I'm actually just sort of working on myself right now? But thanks.
• Mercer ordering Alara to open a hailing channel then starting to talk immediately, only for Alara to interrupt him because she hadn't finished opening the channel yet. One of those "why is this funny" moments that MacFarlane specializes in.
  Ed: Alara, open a hailing channel. Attention, Krill ship. This is the USS-
  Alara: Oh! Um. I haven't done it yet.
  Ed: Oh. Sorry.
  Alara: [hits five buttons] Okay, you're on.
  Ed: T- Now?
  Alara: Yeah.
  Ed: All right. Attention, Krill ship!
• When the Orville finds a Krill ship firing on a colony:
  Mercer: Attention Krill ship, this is the USS Orville. Cease fire immediately or we will respond.
  Grayson: In the history of space battles, has that ever worked?
  Bortus: They have ceased firing upon the planet.
  Grayson: I stand corrected.
• During the attack from a Krill ship, a panel explodes.
  Mercer: What happened to automatic fire suppression?
  Alara: That's the panel on fire!
• Malloy gets stabbed in the leg that was just regrown in the last episode. "Damn it, that's a brand new leg!"
• After Malloy learns that the Krill deity is named "Avis," he engages in a Running Gag comparing it to the 20th-Century rental car agency.
  • While he keeps making jokes about a rival god named Hertz, it is worth noting that another of Avis's Real Life rivals is a company called Enterprise.
  • When Mercer and Malloy are caught looking at the Krill holy book, Mercer says they were looking for wisdom to help them deal with the loss of their ship. Malloy then piously intones, "O Wise and Powerful Avis, cover the loss of our vehicle."
• While the Krill are chanting "Temeen Emideen" during service, Ed says "Katniss Everdeen." May the odds be ever in his favor.
• While on board the Krill ship, Mercer and Malloy are befriended by a Krill woman, Teleya. After they have succeeded in killing virtually the entire crew, Telaya demands to know what's going on. Mercer starts off, "Okay now don't be mad..."
• As Ed tries to shoo out Koja who is questioning them about Earth, he tells him, "Go on and get out of here. [absently] Go play in traffic."

Episode 7: "Majority Rules"

• Malloy describing the planet's legal system as "Conviction by American Idol". When he explains what that is to Bortus...
  Bortus: I sing.
  (Cue WTF look from the whole bridge crew)
• John is arrested because he dry-humped a statue. Captain Mercer gets chewed out by the admiralty for the conduct of his crew and promises "I will personally order him... not to hump things."
• After a rather disastrous first showing, John's Publicity Officer recommends showing off his talents to make him more likable. When John dances onto the stage and ends up receiving even more scorn (for making light of a national tragedy by DANCING), the PO meekly replies that his job "involves a LOT of guesswork".
• After John is arrested, Kelly, Claire and Alara meet up with him at the local Police station. They talk with him privately in one of the cubicles at the station. Where it is revealed that if John gets downvoted enough, his punishment is a mental cleansing.
  Doctor Claire Finn: This is a twenty-first level society. They don't have the medical sophistication to do that safely. Commander, he could end up a medical vegetable.
  John: [after a Stunned Silence where he calmly processes the new information. Suddenly flips out and bangs on the window to the guard outside] ... Hey! I'm a space man, you gotta let me out of here. I'm a space man, hey!
• After the crew decide to fabricate some made-up facts about John to make him more likable so the public will upvote him...
  Doctor Claire Finn: What if people try to corroborate this information?
  Lysella: Don't worry, they won't.
• After John barely escapes being mentally cleansed and exiting the prison. John decides to let the guards have a piece of his mind.
  John: Real quick, I just want to say all you suck ass! And I'm a space man.

Episode 8: "Into The Fold"

• Malloy claiming everyone at the academy called the spacial fold a "Glory Hole". Ed quickly reminds him no, nobody else did. And when they enter said fold...
  Bortus: Entering glory hole.
• Isaac decides to try to imitate Dr. Finn's parenting style...
  Isaac: Children, cut the crap right now. If I have to come back there one more time, I swear to God I am going to lose my mind.
  • Said in the exact same tone, inflection, and volune that Isaac always uses, giving it a Dissonant Serenity vibe.
• While the kids are roughhousing around the shuttle, Isaac fails to recognize Claire's sarcastic tone and helpfully offers to vaporize the kids for Claire. Cue Claire frantically denying she wanted Isaac to do that and insisting she was kidding.
  • At one point, Isaac even gets hit in the back of the head with something thrown by one of the kids. For supposedly having no emotions, Isaac looks thoroughly ticked off.
• Mercer is rightly incredulous that some ensign filed a damage report saying that he spilled soy sauce on his pants.
  Mercer: My God, we gotta get better people.
• Claire's kids spend most of the first half of the episode incessantly arguing over a video game the older one brought along for the trip. Isaac spends a lot of that time visibly trying to not be annoyed. When they start arguing again while Isaac is trying to find Claire, he settles the matter succinctly by ripping the game out of their hands, hurling it into the air, shooting it to pieces with his gun, and firmly stating "The game is never to be spoken of again." All without raising his voice even once.
• Isaac's innocently sadistic repair of Marcus's dislocated leg is hilarious in much the same way that his practical joke on Malloy was.

Episode 9: "Cupid's Dagger"

• Bortus preparing to wow the crew on karaoke night with a rendition of "My Heart Will Go On". To everyone's disappointment (except Ed), before he can start, the comm cuts him off with an urgent message.
  • Bortus shouting down Gordon when he tries to cheer him on.
  Bortus: YOU WILL BE SILENT!
  • Call-Back to Episode 7's "I sing."
• Bortus and Klyden having the stereotypical squabbles of new parents.
  Bortus: All we do is fight, Klyden will not stop eating, the child never sleeps, and we have not resumed normal...relations. Why do people have babies?!
• The Running Gag of the low-level crew-member who keeps walking in on Mercer and Grayson in the show's equivalent of a turbolift and wanting there to be elevator music of some sort. It ends up being made his project and when it's finally done, he shows up again and this time Grayson shouts at him, asking if he does nothing but just riding the elevator all day.
• For a bonus? The song that's playing is Jimmy Buffet's cover of "Leaving the Straight Life Behind." No, it's not about discovering bisexuality, but the fact it's playing while Ed is still in a pheromone-roofie haze over Darulio at this point and the fact is used to be a popular song for slash Fanvids, adds to the joke.
• Bortus and Isaac's confusion over Gordon saying that Ed is oddly "into" Darulio.
  Isaac: Your statement is confusing. Has the Captain entered Mr. Darulio in some fashion?
  Gordon: Not yet...
• John and Alara discussing Kelly's behavior and John's speculation that she is on drugs. This is actually a funny Call-Back when one remembers that Kelly is extremely fond of cannabis.

Episode 10: "Firestorm"

• Mallow and LaMarr coming into the holodeck dressed like they're about to duel with pistols? Pretty standard. Bortus doing the same? Hilarious.
• The crew preparing to search for the creepy clown.
  Malloy: I think it's only prudent to caution everyone to watch out for pies.
  Mercer: At this point, anything is possible, so yes. Pies, seltzer bottles, balloon animals — be alert.
• Bortus reporting to Mercer.
  Bortus: There is an alligator in the cargo bay. I successfully crushed it with a chair.
  Mercer: Where did it come from?
  Bortus: I do not know. Regardless; it is crushed.
• LaMarr on clowns:
  Malloy: Was it like a circus clown, or a hobo clown, or what?
  Kitan: What's the difference?
  LaMarr: Hobo clowns are the most dangerous because they're hungry.

Episode 11: "New Dimensions"

• Malloy and Lamarr stealing a chunk of Yaphit and putting it in the buffet. Who eventually eats it? Bortus. Even his titanium stomach can't take it. And then there's the method to get it out...
  • When Lamarr later tries to explain to Yaphit it was just a joke:
  Yaphit: A joke? I spent an hour in Bortus's colon! You call that funny?
• Gordon tries to explain to Isaac what it's like to have a cat, specifically mentioning petting it to bond with the animal. Isaac's takeaway is that petting Gordon is a bonding activity. The "WTF?" look on Gordon's face is priceless.
• Kelly calls Ed a "prideful ass" for being upset about her helping him.
  Ed: "A prideful ass"? Are we in a Jane Austen novel?

Episode 12: "Mad Idolatry"

• Ed tries out a Moclan beverage, only to discover that it's used to intentionally infect the drinker with a parasite. Bortus and Klyden consider this to be an immensely pleasurable sensation.
  • Funnier still, they tell him this in advance, and he tries it anyway.
    • It becomes a pooping Brick Joke when he mentions pooping out the parasite (or the drink) later to Kelly.
• Ed plays the Moclan version of hot potato with Bortus and Klyden. Except their version involves the potato impaling spikes through your hand. Which is also apparently winning the game.
• When the crew are ordered to wait in that section of space for a couple of days, Gordon suggests they get a game of Monopoly. Bortus stands up and says he'll get the latchcomb, prompting a loud "No!" from Captain Mercer.
• While "borrowing" the "Middle Ages"-era clothing from a simple farm house, Gordon tries to cover it by saying to the mother that they are the "fashion police," and all the said clothing is being confiscated.
• Ed gets a dressing down from a Union Admiral and turns away to mock her to Kelly - only to find that he forgot to close the channel. His pleading "Have mercy! Bye!" hang-up is hilarious.

Season 2

Episode 1: "Ja'loja"

• Remember how we learned in the first episode that Moclans only urinate once a year? Turns out there's an entire religious ceremony around it, which everyone else has to desperately pretend they don't find inherently funny.
  • The sheer fact that, after all the crazy stuff that happened in the first season (spatial anomalies, alien attacks, eldritch horrors, etc.), the second season decides to open with the crew watching Bortus pee.
  • After Bortus describes the ceremony, the first reaction is Malloy's: "What if it's like a... windy day?"
  • Goes right back to Awesome when the ceremony occurs, and it's treated respectfully, both by the crew and the show. It's not about the act, it's about the ceremony, and the show treats it as culturally important to the Moclan people.
• Mercer uses a shuttle to spy on Grayson and her new boyfriend...then realizes he forgot to cloak it. The camera at first isn't focused on it, so you're watching Grayson kissing while the shuttle slowly inches into view outside the window.
• Bortus' idea of fixing Alara up? "I shall order him to mate with you."
• Mercer’s biggest complaint about Grayson’s new boyfriend, which he treats like a big dealbreaker; he uses both hands to drink tea.
  • He also deliberately seeks out confirmation on the correct way to pronounce 'Cassius' purely so he can use the wrong one for the rest of the conversation.
• Ty walking in while Claire is reading Marcus the riot act. Claire tells her little boy to leave. Ty's reaction "But I wanna watch Marcus get yelled at!" is very relatable.
• Isaac’s suggestion about how to punish Marcus after he’s caught drinking; force feeding him bottles and bottles of vodka until he no longer wants to drink anymore. Claire politely informs him that doing so would probably kill Marcus.
• How Lamarr got his reputation as a “love guru”; he dated a two-headed alien... without either head knowing he was dating the other. The relationship fell apart not because this came out, but because one of the heads liked hiking and Lamarr considers that a big dealbreaker.
  • This is followed by Gordon explaining how he once dated his own deranged stalker, only for her to break up with him because he was too clingy.
• This exchange:
  Claire: Isaac, do you think I’m a bad parent?
  Isaac: Yes.
• Ed and Cassius actually get along a bit about how to deal with Kelly.
  Ed: A woman can't really love a man unless he's part dope. Be a little stupid every day and really stupid once in a while but just don't be perfect.
  Cassius: That's not easy.
• Lamarr puts Gordon into a dating simulation which is pretty much the Kobayashi Maru for guys with no game. He does pretty well at Difficulty Level One...then Lamarr cranks it up to Eight, wherein Gordon must try to move in on a Xelayan Goth Girl who's way out of his league and still bitter over a recent breakup.
  Gordon: This is Level Eight? What's Level Nine?
  Lamarr: Level Nine, she's still dating the guy.
  Godron: And level Ten?
  Lamarr: She's married and has a gun.
• The incredibly awkward Stylistic Suck poetry Dan reads Alara. Alara tries to spare his feelings, then slips into Brutal Honesty, realizes she really managed to screw up, and makes an excuse to get out of the room.
  • When he finishes the poem and asks what she thinks, she immediately, flatly says, "It's really good."
  • When Dan shares the same poem with Gordon at the end of the episode, Gordon can't say enough good things about it.

Episode 2: "Primal Urges"

• The episode opens with the crew watching a planet burn up in the photosphere of its expanding parent star. While the rest of the crew ogle at the amazing sight, Bortus asks to go off duty. What does he do? He goes to the simulator to have virtual sex.
• The scenes with Bortus' pornographic simulations are this in general. They're framed like stereotypical plots to pornos (Bortus offering his virginity for freedom from a dungeon, or Bortus having sex with a doctor during a checkup), but while the simulated Moclans are playing up their roles, Bortus interacts with them with his usual gruff monotone.
• Apparently Moclan divorces are rather messy. But not in the way you're thinking. Turns out that when a Moclan couple divorce each other, the one breaking up stabs and kills their mate.
• Bortus and Klyden misinterpreting couples counselling as a fight to the death, in typical Literally Minded Moclan style.
• The reaction of Ed and Kelly to how Moclan divorce works. Definitely awkward. Then Kelly hangs a lampshade on the whole thing by remarking what a pain in the ass it is dealing with Moclan cultural norms.
• Towards the end of the episode, the Orville is in a death spiral into the star they were orbiting. While Isaac attempts to fix the Orville's main computer and purge the porn virus that has infected it, a buck-naked Moclan is tongue kissing the side of the robot's head.
  • The best part is that Isaac seems completely unperturbed by the Moclan, and continues to work undisturbed.
• The fact the ship is put in mortal danger by the equivalent of a shady porn site is Cringe Comedy mixed with Fridge Horror

Episode 3: "Home"

• The new security officer is a guy who looks like an elephant with an external esophagus attached to his chest and who eats noisily on the bridge because of his high metabolism.
  • He’s also played by Patrick Warburton in full David Puddy mode. Made even funnier as he’d just come off a major Playing Against Type role as Lemony Snicket, and is now slipping right back into his comfort zone without missing a beat.
• Another case of what sounds like a joke but turns out to be funnier as it's true.
  Kelly: Yaphet was asking about our parental leave policy.
  Ed: What, is he thinking about splitting in half?
  Kelly: Legally, we can't ask him that.
• Although the situation is quite dire and dramatic, the conflict between Ildis Kitan (Alara's dad) and Cambis Borrin. For those Star Trek fans who enjoy Kirk-versus-Picard-type debates, the former is played by Robert Picardo while the later is John Billingsley, both of whom played the Chief Medical Officers of different series.

Episode 4: "Nothing Left On Earth Excepting Fishes"

• After Kelly accepts his request to take the command test, Malloy leaves the room. And Bortus says what both are thinking.
  Bortus: He will fail.
• Proof of Bortus's prediction comes almost immediately, as during the psych evaluation Malloy traumatizes himself while looking at Rorschach blobs.

Episode 5: "All the World is a Birthday Cake"

• Bortus being drafted into helping deliver a baby. This being Bortus, he's not exactly helpful.
  Bortus: Will there be an egg?

Episode 6: "A Happy Refrain"

• Bortus with a mustache. That is all.
  Gordon: See, that's what I'm talking about!
  Ed: And now it all makes sense.
• Kelly insists she never drinks on duty, but when Claire reveals her feelings for Isaac, she instantly gets up and orders Chardonnays for them.
• Isaac goes to Lamarr for dating advice. He and Malloy are respectful and offer some decent pointers...then they sprint up to the Bridge to tell everyone that Isaac and Claire are going out.
  • When Malloy interjects while Lamarr still seems to be processing with Isaac is asking, Isaac cuts him off in an uncharacteristically firm tone, reminding him that it's Lamarr he's asking.
• After Isaac's and Claire's first date, the whole bridge crew wants to pester Isaac for details.
  Isaac: What information do you require?
  Talla: Did you have fun? Were there sparks?
  Isaac: Sparks?
  Talla: Yeah.
  Isaac: Negative. There was no equipment malfunction.
  Ed: Well you don't have to brag about it.
• Isaac in a wife-beater and briefs trying to act like a stereotypical slob.
• After she and Isaac break up, Claire is Drowning Her Sorrows in a simulated bar, when she hears Yaphit's voice. Not really in the mood for company, she turns around to confront him... to find that he's simulated a human body, namely real-life Norm MacDonald in all his simpering, slightly-sleazy glory, ready to score her on the rebound.
• Gordon's last line of the episode. It's hard to disagree, frankly:
  Malloy: We have got to be the weirdest ship in the entire fleet.
• A deleted scene shows Gordon, Isaac, Lamaar, Klyden, and Bortus playing golf in the Environment Simulator. Isaac gets a rare moment of comeuppance when he tries to demonstrate his superior golf skills to Gordon, only to land the ball right in the sand trap.
  Isaac: This implement is obviously defective.

Episode 7: "Deflectors"

• Jenny trying to politely offer Locar a cupcake. She quickly discovers when a Moclan says no, they mean no.
  Jenny: Locar, cupcake?
  Locar: No.
  Jenny: You sure?
  Locar: I HAVE GIVEN YOU MY ANSWER!
  Jenny: Okay...
• Gordon summing up how "the one person in a stable relationship is Isaac."
  • This is followed by Gordon recalling how Isaac was matter-of-factly asking people advice on the best sexual positions.
• Gordon and LaMarr rattling off a list of prior incidents to counter Talla's assumption that their current situation is the weirdest thing to happen on the ship.
  Lamarr: One time I almost died cause I humped a statue.
  Gordon: Isaac once cut my leg off.
  Lamarr: The captain and commander? They got put in a zoo.
  Gordon: And Bortus almost crashed the ship cause of porn.
  Talla: ...I see.
• The idea that one of Cassius's attempts to win Kelly back is essentially a novelty talking flower tchotchke that's also a sentient being is kind of hilarious. And the flower's only doing it because he owes Cassius a favor.
  • Of course, the kicker is the flower being voiced by Bruce Willis.

Episode 8: "Identity, Part 1"

• Mercer contacts Admiral Halsey for permission to take Isaac to Kaylon for repairs.
  Halsey: Can't you just repair him on the Orville?
  Mercer: Sir, imagine your mother trying to plug in a stereo.
  Halsey: I understand. Permission granted.
• At his farewell party, Isaac is told to "search your database" for a proper speech. With countless epic speeches from all of history at his fingers, which one does he pick? Sally Field's infamous "you like me, you really like me!" Oscar speech.
• At the party, Bortus wants a piece of cake.
  Bortus: Yes. But not that piece.
  Talia: What's wrong with it?
  Bortus: I would like a corner piece.
  Talia (amused): You're kidding.
  Bortus: I am not. Please cut me a corner piece.
  Talia: Because you want a flower?
  Bortus: Yes. Please cut me a corner piece before someone else-
  Lamarr: Hey Bortus, have some cake, man! It's good! ::hands him a random piece of cake::
  Bortus: Thank you. I hate this party. (walks away)
• Mercer and Grayson are quite embarrassed to find that Isaac even informed his people about the prank war, and conclude "We are so gonna get fired."

Episode 9: "Identity, Part 2"

• Having been confined to an area without any facilities, Gordon and several other crew members resorted to using a "pee corner."
• Apparently Gordon had some trouble getting Kelly to believe the Krill actually worship a god named Avis, and is quite pleased to have a Krill confirm it.
• Gordon flying the Krill fighter and quoting "Just a walk in the park, Kazansky" from Top Gun. Then he looks at the Krill pilot next to him and does the chomp Val Kilmer's Iceman did in that same movie.
  • Then of course, there is his Pre Asskicking Oneliner.
  Gordon: All right buddy, time to wash your mouth out with Gordon.
• Is Primary just worried about Isaac Going Native here, or does he figure that Isaac is insulting him too?
  Primary: For what reason did you select the designation "Isaac" in your dealings with the biologicals?
  Isaac: A human scientist named Isaac Newton. From the data I have collected, he seemed to possess a degree of intelligence greater than most of his species.
  Primary: You will select a new designation.

Episode 10: "Blood Of Patriots"

• Ed having Talia stall the Krill delegation by any means necessary. After a nitpicky series of questions, Ed still needs time. So she orders them to produce a urine sample. Right there in the cargo bay. When Ed still needs time, the last thing we see is her snapping on a rubber glove.

Episode 11: "Lasting Impressions"

• A 2015 cell phone and texting treated as a massive historical find.
  • That includes trying to translate what "WTF" means.
• Bortus and Klyden get hooked on cigarettes and their attempts to stop smoking are hilarious.
  • Klyden first simply eats one to get a taste.
    Klyden: I feel as if I have been standing my entire life and I just sat down.
  • The fact that Bortus uses a plasma pistol to light the cigarettes, even pointing the muzzle straight at Klyden's face to light his mate's smoke.
  • Just the sight of Bortus on the bridge, nonchalantly smoking away.
  • Plus chewing gum later on.
  • And revealing a few cigarettes he's hidden in their quarters. Then revealing that he completely filled a throw pillow with them.
  • The knock-down-drag-out fistfight both of them have with their nicotine-withdrawal induced crankiness, which is interrupted by Dr. Finn walking in, staring them both down with the kind of Death Glare only a mother of two sons could manage, and telling them she has their medicine ready.
• Entering a hologram of a 2015 party, Gordon has people telling him "nice pajamas."
• Ed looking at a 2015 newspaper and summing it up:
  Ed: On the verge of a major climate disaster and they're dedicating an entire page to teeth whitening.
• Gordon tries to replicate a phone. The first version is a classic 1940's land line phone.
• The crew is concerned about Gordon's behavior.
  Talla: Do you think he's working too hard?
  Kelly: Gordon? Never.
• The Pictionary game.
  Gordon: Sorry about the Dick Van Dyke one, I didn't know who he was so I was trying...
• Talla dressed like a 2015 hipster.
• Gordon gets a call on his replicated cell phone on the bridge. Which he answers. From his girlfriend. Who has been dead for 400 years and is a hologram.
  Kelly: It was without a doubt among the top five strangest experiences of my life.

Episode 12: "Sanctuary"

• How is Gordon able to figure out the way the Moclan ship hid itself? Because he used the same "ion trail masking" to create a "party bus" shuttle back in the Academy and was only discovered when it crashed into a tree.
• It is hilarious, heartwarming and awesome that Heveena chooses Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" as the rallying cry for her stand against the Moclan patriarchy.
  Heveena: She speaks with the voice of a hundred soldiers!
  • Heveena then decides to quote the song at the next Union hearing. Ed immediately dons a look that says "Oh, God, kill me now" while Admiral Halsey is clearly annoyed with him.
• The climactic showdown between Moclan soldiers and the Orville crew has "9 To 5" for a soundtrack. There might be no scene that sums up this series better than this one.

Episode 13: "Tomorrow, and Tomorrow and Tomorrow"

• Even in the far future, someone (meaning Ed) will have trouble handling the controls of a video game.
• Past!Kelly tells Ed "I had fun the other night." It takes Ed a moment to realize she's talking about their one date seven years earlier.
• This leads to Ed asking Present!Kelly if he can date her younger self. It goes as well as you'd expect.
• Yaphit, Bortus and Klyden on the dance floor. Words cannot do justice.
  Bortus: The night is ooooooours!
• The ship goes on alert in the middle of the night, so the bridge crew rushes to their stations in their pajamas. Ed in particular is barking orders in his bathrobe and slippers, bringing to mind another galactic explorer...

Episode 14: "The Road Not Taken"

• In the Bad Future alternate timeline, Ed and Gordon had to go through ages of searching and a dangerous escape from the Kaylon, who have destroyed half the life in the galaxy, just to find a replicator so they can have a decent meal. And after everything they went through to get that one replicator, they hook it up, and Gordon immediately requests... a Twinkie.
  • And when Ed is incredulous that Gordon would use his first replicator request for something so stupid...
  Gordon: You want half?
  Ed: Yeah, I want half!
• Kelly tries to explain the time travel mess.
  Gordon: Is this one of those crackhouse ships I keep hearing about?
• Ed is in disbelief his not going on a second date with Kelly set off those chain of events.
  Ed: I had to swim with my shirt on until I was 20.
• While still creepy and dangerous, it's funny to see flying Kaylon heads.
• Ed sums up his reaction to Kelly dumping him.
  Ed: You know, I remember having a really great time with you that night. And then when you basically ghosted me, I-I thought it was the end of the world. Turns out, I was right.

New Horizons

Episode 2: "Shadow Realms"

• The Orville is hosting a diplomatic reception for a pair of Krill envoys. Ed, Kelly, and the visiting admiral are chatting with the envoys, and Ed tells them that he hopes their talks will be the first step toward a permanent peace between their peoples. One of the envoys bluntly advises him not to hope too fervently, since the Krill plan to dissolve the alliance as soon as the Kaylon conflict is over. You can see all the wind going out of Ed and Kelly's sails.
• Later, the crew is desperately trying to develop some kind of cure or countermeasure for the infected crewmembers. When Claire realizes that she can't cure them, she instead decides to concoct a synthetic virus that will incapacitate or kill the infected. Bortus asks if the rest of the crew will be in any danger, and Claire suggests that they might get the sniffles. Bortus, being who he is, responds thus:
  Bortus: I am prepared.

Episode 3: "Mortality Paradox"

• Gordon hasn't given up on advising Bortus about his appearance. When Talla is sharing her mother's homemade chocolate with the bridge crew, Bortus refuses a piece, since he and Klyden are going on a beach vacation soon and Gordon told him he should get his "summer body" ready. As ever, it's Peter Macon's utterly deadpan delivery that sells the lines. For his part, Gordon cheerfully tells Bortus that both he and Klyden will thank him for the advice.
• The crew has landed on an alien planet that is supposed to be a desolate dustball, but has first shown signs of being inhabited by an advanced civilization and then turns into an endless forest when they land. As the landing party is exploring the forest, they stumble across a 21st-century American high school that's just been plonked down in the middle of this colossal forest. The sheer befuddlement on everyone's faces is priceless.
• Once inside, the party tries talking to some of the students to see if they can figure out what's going on. Gordon's first attempt doesn't work very well.
  Gordon: What's today's date?
  Student: Um, I think it's the 19th?
  Gordon: No, no, the year. What's the year?
  Student: (scoffs) What are you, high?
  Gordon: Possibly, that's what I'm trying to find out.
  • The party then tries going to the cafeteria during lunch. The first table they approach is taken by a stereotypical Alpha Bitch and her posse. Bortus' attempts at negotiation are... less than successful.
    Bortus: May we sit here?
    Girl: No.
    Bortus: Why not?
    Girl: Our table's full.
    Bortus: There are several available seats.
    Girl: (snottily) Not for you.
    Bortus: I am prepared to take them by force.
  • Before things can escalate, Ed decides to move on, and Gordon leans over and whispers something to Bortus. He considers this for a moment, then informs the Alpha Bitch in a very monotone voice that "You have a five-head." What's funnier is that the girl actually reacts to the Lame Comeback as if it's the worst thing she'd been called, melting down while her posse tries to reassure her.
  • When they find a more amenable table, they ask the kids who exactly Randall the bully is. One of the kids explains to them why he doesn't have to pay Randall off anymore.
    Nerdy Kid: Then I got like massive on TikTok and he stopped messin' with me, 'cause my followers would flame his 'Gram.
    Bortus: What.
• Then there's who, or rather what, "Randall" turns out to be: a giant troll-like alien with an equally huge axe. Even though it's clearly a danger to the party, its appearance is so incongruous with the rest of the scenario that it loops back around to being hilarious.

Episode 4: "Gently Falling Rain"

• Union leadership takes the Krill delegation to a performance of Annie. When the Krill supreme chancellor expresses discomfort at the thought of the sun coming out tomorrow (as sunlight is deadly to Krill), Admiral Halsey quips that, in hindsight, Oklahoma! might have been a better choice.
• The crew is hanging out in a Wild West simulation when Isaac walks in wearing a ten-gallon hat and a mustache pasted to his face. He then tries to blend in, in his own way.
  Isaac: This town will not tolerate the numeric totality of our combined mass!
  • doubles as fridge tearjerker as by this point Isaac is extremely familiar with similes and vernacular, to the point where the line seems clumsy. But Isaac also knows that making oneself a butt of jokes is a form of social disarmament and ingratiation - and the moustache calls back to the mister potato head scene in s1. Given his status with the crew due to the actions of last season....damn.
• When Halsey calls Ed and Kelly to inform them of the treaty signing, both are thrilled that he completely missed them being drunk. Later, when Ed expresses concern about Halsey piloting, Halsey makes it clear he did know they were drunk.
  Ed: Point taken, sir.
• Gordon performs the "Expanding Helix", a maneuver he made up on the spot. It sends the Orville into a rapid roll that strains the ship's inertial dampers enough that Bortus forcefully stops himself from vomiting.
• A couple of Krill bring Ed Mercer to meet his daughter. How do they inform him of the news? "You are her father". Intentionality of referencing Star Wars undetermined.

Episode 5: "A Tale Of Two Topas

• In the midst of the angst and yelling, it's easy to overlook the fact that the file containing the trial information was named after the Moclan equivalent of chocolate cake.
• Kelly having to deal with a bit of a Culture Clash regarding one of the crew. Namely, his species doesn't wear clothes on the first day of the month for religious reasons. Turns out this extends to being on duty, as he attends to his duties buck naked.
• After two seasons of waiting, we finally get to hear Bortus sing. And as we learn, Moclans take being in tune very seriously.
  [Ty plays one note]
  Bortus: THAT KEY IS TOO HIGH!

Episode 6: Twice in a Lifetime

• During a party Gordon's hosting in his quarters, Charly comes across the cellphone Gordon replicated during the events of "Lasting Impressions", and he offers to take a selfie with her. When Bortus comes over to thank him for the invite, Gordon coaxes him into being a part of the picture and tells him to smile. Bortus slowly produces what could charitably be called a smirk.
• Isaac has to win an arm-wrestling contest with a burly biker so that he and Charly can borrow a couple of motorcycles in order to reach a nearby dysonium deposit. Charly tells him not to make the inevitable result too obvious. Isaac lets the biker get most of the way to beating him, even stating "Oh no, I am losing" in a very deadpan voice before pulling his punch and defeating the biker. He then comments to the latter, who's dumbfounded: "It would appear that this is not one of your hobbies."
  • What makes this especially funny is the way Charly's face slowly falls as she didn't expect Isaac to let the biker go that far. You can basically see on her face that she was thinking "Um, Isaac, are you actually going to let the biker win because of our animosity?"
  • Also funny is how the bikers take one look at Isaac's human disguise, a seemingly weak-looking pretty boy, and figure he has no chance.
• Charly and Isaac discover that the dysonium vein they need to tap is situated where there is a house for sale. They go there and the real estate agent is there at the time, so they pose as a couple interested in buying. "I'm assuming you don't have kids yet?" asks the agent and Isaac replies "Negative. Insemination has yet to occur," prompting a "Jesus Christ!" from Charly. They manage to get time alone in the basement to complete their work and as this is taking place, Charly tells Isaac that she hasn't forgiven him, explaining that her ship-mate Amanda was somebody that she loved and that she never got to confess those feelings to her, or find out if she felt the same way in return. They go back up and the agent asks them if it's home. "We just broke up," snarls Charly.

Episode 7: From Unknown Graves

• Because the Janisi are a Lady Land society who disdain men as second-class citizens, Ed and Gordon are relegated to acting as servants hauling luggage.
  Janisi leader: Are all men in your society so slow?
  Kelly: Mhmmm, yeah.
  Talla: Very much so.
  • And then there's Bortus. Who being from the male-equivalent of the Janisi is not having a good time.
    Bortus: They are...awful.
  • Bortus asks regarding the Janisi "Why would we ally ourselves with such a close-minded society?" You can just hear everyone thinking to themselves "Pot calling kettle! Pot calling kettle!"
• The crew of the Orville are pretending the ship's entire entire senior staff is female, which means that Kelly is presented as Captain and wearing a captain's uniform just in case they decide to pay a visit to the bridge. At one point, she and Ed are together on the bridge and Charly gets an alert on her monitor.
  Charly: Captain?
  Ed and Kelly: What?
• At one point, the crew all come to the realization that Bortus is still on the bridge at the Second Officer's station. They simultaneously and wordlessly turn to look at him. He simply gives them a Flat "What".

Episode 8: Midnight Blue

• Kelly tells Topa to go ahead and be honest with the boy she likes... not knowing the "boy" in question is Gordon.
  Topa: You are male and yet you possess many female traits. I find that appealing.
• Gordon is a bit late on the uptake as to why Topa is asking to have a meal with him, leading to the engineering crew exchanging incredulous "is he really this dense?" looks behind his back. When Gordon finally catches on ("There ya go, Sherlock") and lets her down as easily as he can, he then has to put up with cracks from LaMarr and the rest of the engineers about how "she's way too mature for you", while some of them question whether Gordon is really that attractive.
  Dann: He's attractive, right?
  Yaphit: (while looking at Gordon walking away) Eh, he's better goin' than comin'.
• How does Gordon let Topa down, exactly? With the classic line of telling her that she's like a little sister to him. Later, when Gordon asks to join Captain Mercer as he meets with the Union Council, he tells him that Topa's kind of like a little sister to him.

Episode 9: Domino

• The Moclans, unsurprisingly, demand leadership when proposing an alliance to Supreme Chancellor Teleya. Teleya hilariously puts them in their place, telling them that she has studied their battle strategies and that they are "blunt and maladroit," insisting instead that all command decisions will be shared equally.
• The Moclans comment that friends are scarce these days and Perry replies that it's what happens when your government sanctions kidnapping and torture.
  Teleya: True to his ethics even as he commits treason. What a noble creature.

Episode 10: Unknown Future

• At the beginning of the episode, Bortus and Klyden are renewing their vows. Bortus explains that this is done by both partners getting naked and then having one of them chase the other down. If successful, they share the "sexual event". Like Ja'loja, it has to be witnessed by close friends and relatives. When he's done explaining, Kelly looks at Ed with an expression that clearly says "I thought we were done with weird Moclan customs." Ed can only shrug ruefully in response.
• During the chase, Klyden is hiding behind a tree while Bortus looks for him nearby. Klyden pops his head out, and when Bortus spots him he gives the most hilariously over-the-top "Oh shit!" expression imaginable before running for it.
• After they return to the rest of the crew, they touch their foreheads together and just...stop moving. Everyone waits for an awkwardly long time, and then Gordon starts a Slow Clap which the others take up.
• Isaac proposes to Claire. The news spreads absurdly fast, so that by the time she tries to tell Ty and Marcus they've already heard. Marcus notes that his mom clearly still doesn't grasp the whole "it's a small ship" thing.
• Claire is getting drunk with Talla and Kelly while trying to decide if she wants to accept his proposal. Ed comes in and tries to excuse himself, only to be roped into the discussion because he's the only sober person in the room. After giving his opinion, Kelly jokingly orders him out of the room, and he salutes before leaving.
  Kelly: You've been useful, Sober Man.
• The Orville is returning to Sargas IV, a.k.a. the planet where John humped a statue and nearly got lobotomized for it. When giving them the assignment, Admiral Halsey explicitly advises against sending him on any landing parties, and Ed notes that John has had enough of that particular world for a lifetime. Later, Gordon pops into engineering to tell John that Ed's selected him for the landing party anyway, just to mess with him.
• John has told Isaac that he may be missing out by not dating people other than Claire. Isaac being Isaac, he immediately asks John out on a date, then later decides to ask Kelly out, which goes over well.
  Isaac: Good morning, Commander. I wish to become intimate with you. If you are unoccupied, may we go on a date, followed by sexual conjugation?
  Kelly: [utterly nonplussed] Pretty good, how are you?
  • When Claire finds out and Isaac apologizes, he asks her how he can keep from making such mistakes again. Claire tells Isaac she'll help him...and then immediately goes to engineering to tear a strip off John's ass, telling him if he ever gives Isaac that kind of advice again, she'll eat his liver with a glass of grapefruit juice!
• Isaac asks Gordon to be his best man, explaining that he's chosen Gordon because the best man is traditionally required to give a humorous speech, and most of the crew seem to think he's funny. Bortus states that he too is funny, which causes Talla to say what everyone has to be thinking.
  Bortus: On Moclus, my sense of humor was held in high esteem.
  Talla: Moclus never struck me as a particularly funny place.
  • Gordon and Bortus then start arguing over who will be best man. Isaac winds up accepting Bortus' services, leaving a baffled Gordon to stare incredulously at Ed, who doesn't seem to know what to make of the situation.
• Isaac invites Kaylon Primary to his wedding. He first has to explain the concept of a wedding, clarify that it's nothing like enslavement when Primary asks, and then agrees that it seems reasonable to have all of Kaylon attend the ceremony. Later, they do arrive as surprise guests, save a small contingency left at the homeworld to protect against possible invasion. Ed is forced to send off a hasty message to Union Central ensuring that this is not a new Kaylon invasion attempt, but rather a friendly visit.
• John, Ed, and Gordon are working on the ship's new scanner array, and Gordon is still fuming about Bortus hijacking his spot to the point where he says he's angrier about it than he was about the Kaylon invading Earth. Out of nowhere, the sandwich that Gordon sent forward in time three months and four episodes ago rematerializes on the lab's main terminal, much to Gordon's delight. John once again states what Ed and the entire audience are probably thinking.
  Gordon: I knew I was gonna be happy to see it! [chows down] Mm. You know, I feel better already.
  John: This is a goddamn weird-ass place we work in.
• Isaac's bachelor party, which is set in a recreation of "ancient" (i.e., 20th-century) Las Vegas. Gordon is complaining about the lackluster vibe and offering to take over as best man when the drumroll begins, the lights come up, and Bortus strides onto stage dressed as the King himself, spangled jumpsuit, golden belt, cape, and all. Klyden is ecstatic, and the rest of the party can only gape at him in disbelief. He proceeds to sing "Love Me Tender" to a mixed reception: Ed is nodding off, Gordon actually has fallen asleep, and John stares blankly at him, while Klyden and the alien engineers are utterly enthralled.
• And then there's Claire's bachelorette. Talla and Kelly have prepared a special surprise for her: a simulated Isaac doing his best Chippendales routine, complete with studded leather vest, chaps, and nipple tassels!
• Poor Ed gets roped into helping Claire try on dresses, and it goes exactly how you might expect.
  Ed: Yeah, I like that one too. I think they're both great.
  Claire: Oh, come on.
  Ed: Isn't Kelly better equipped to—
  Claire: I want to know what you think too!
  Ed: I think it's whatever you like.
  Talla: Sir, I think she wants an opinion.

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