Funny / The New Scooby-Doo Movies

• Fred and Daphne's extended conversation in the desert from "Ghastly Ghost Town", bordering on sexist:
  Fred: This desert reminds me of a woman.
  Daphne: Why's that?
  Fred: It goes on, and on, and on.
  Daphne: Men.
  Fred: C'mon, Daph. Where's your sense of humor?
  Daphne: It shriveled up in this heat. Besides, I'm worried about getting lost out here. All this desert looks alike.
  Fred: No problem, we'll just follow our footprints back to town.
  *A man dressed in a cactus costume masks their footprints by brushing them away.*
  Daphne: That's a groovy idea, except for one thing.
  Fred: What's that?
  Daphne: There are no footprints.
  Fred: They're gone!
  Daphne: You certainly are alert.
  Fred: What could've happened to them?
  Daphne: Stolen by some footpad, no doubt.
  Fred: Very funny.
  Daphne: Now who's lost their sense of humor?
  • Fred and Daphne eventually realize the cactus is following them, leading to the immortal scene of Fred trying (and failing) to chase the cactus down. The sight of Fred doing so is as ridiculous as it is hilarious.
    Fred: Come back here and fight like a man, you vegetable!

• "Guess Who's Knott Coming to Dinner?": Don Knotts complimenting himself with each costume change.
  Don Knotts: Amazing. Too much talent for one man.

• "The Ghost of Bigfoot": Scooby accidentally trips into Hardy, sending him and Laurel on a crazy sled ride down the ski slopes, including them switching places with each other and even with Shaggy and Scooby thanks to the bumps in the trail. It culminates in Hardy ending up as a human snowball. Then Laurel, completely unscathed, scampers up with Hardy's hat, thanks him, and asks if they can do it again.

• Much of the dialogue from "The Mystery of Haunted Island" qualifies.
  Meadowlark: If Columbus had this crew, the world would still be flat.

  Shaggy: I'm not sleeping in any old mansion on a haunted island!
  Fred: They probably just named it that to attract the tourists.
  *Geese takes pictures with his camera*
  Geese: Like me? Say cheese, Scooby!
  Scooby: Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-(slaps self) Roquefort!
  Geese: Close enough.

  Shaggy: The statues!
  Curly: What about them, Shag?
  Shaggy: They grabbed us!
  Gip: Yeah, they grabbed us, too. Cool, aren't they?
  • The Globetrotters wreck the boat by taking Meadowlark too literally.
    Meadowlark: Gip, you're the strongest. Drop the anchor over the side.
    Gip: Aye. Aye. (grabs the anchor rode and tosses it overboard)

    Meadowlark: Bobby Joe! Turn the wheel around!
    Bobby Joe: Aye! Aye! (pops the steering wheel off and puts it on the other side)
    Geese: What are you doing?
    Bobby Joe: I'm turning the wheel around.
    Geese: You're supposed to turn it around this way. (turns the wheel to the right, leading it to spin too fast and go through the wall and into the water)

  • Meadowlark asks Bobby Joe for their position.
    Bobby Joe: Uhh, I'm hanging up here by one arm, and you and Curly are on the bridge, Geese has his head stuck in a porthole, Gip and Pab are falling down the stairs, and Shaggy and Scooby are hiding under a deck chair.
    Meadowlark: I'm sorry I asked.

• From "The Exterminator":
  Shaggy: Let's check this suit of armor for moths.
  Scooby: Moths?
  Shaggy: Sure. You've heard of the Iron Butterfly, right?
  Scooby: Yeah...
  Shaggy: Maybe they've got iron moths.
  Scooby: Oh, brother.
  • Don Adams focuses on his work, while Scooby struggles to swim in a pool.
    Don Adams: This case goes deeper than I thought...
    Scooby: Yeah, 'bout 9 feet!

• "The Haunted Carnival":
  • The gang finds out the place is haunted and all the workers have run away:
    Daphne: If this place is haunted, why are you staying here?
    Dick Van Dyke: As the Van Dykes say, "The show must go on!"
    Shaggy: As the Van Shaggys say, "The customer must get going!"
    Scooby: And we're in a hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • After a disembodied arm beats Dick's game and steals all the prizes:
    Fred: Where'd the arm go?
    Daphne: It disappeared!
    Velma: We'd better find it.
    Dick: You're not kidding. That arm owes me $27.
  • When Dick sees Shaggy and Scooby are on a rollercoaster, he asks if they're having fun. Shaggy answers no; there's a ghost on the ride. Dick asks if the ghost has a ticket, and Shaggy actually agrees to ask him. This goes back and forth for several minutes until Shaggy finally tells Dick to tell the ghost himself.
  • And later in the episode:
    Dick Van Dyke: I can't turn into a coward. Why, I don't even know the meaning of the word!
    Shaggy: Sit down; I'll tell you.
  • In fact, this episode is filled with good quips from Shaggy.
  • When Daphne goes into a photo booth and doesn't come out, Fred and Velma investigate and find that she's disappeared. In her place is a disembodied head and hands holding a photo strip.
    Ghost: Do you think the camera captured me?
    Fred: No, but I'm going to capture you.
    • And afterwards:
      Velma: Did you get him?
      Fred: No, but I got some neat pictures of me trying.
  • The ghost goes after Daphne in the dodge 'em cars, causing her to complain about the thing going bump in the night so hard. After it finally causes a pile-up, Fred and Velma rush over to see if she's all right. Daphne angrily mutters about getting her hands on said "hit-and-run driver."

• There are some moments in "The Dynamic Scooby-Doo Affair" that are worth mentioning:
  • When Shaggy asks Batman whether they can have a snack at the Batcave, Batman answers that everyone will get bat-milk and cookies. Shaggy replies by asking, "Bat-milk?" in a surprised way. Fridge Brilliance (or at least Fridge Humor) when one realizes that bats are mammals and could theoretically be milked.^note although the logistics would be maddeningly prohibitive
  • When Daphne asks the Joker whether he knows Mrs. Baker, the Clown Prince of Crime responds by doing a Your Mom joke on Scooby!
  • Scooby pretending to drive the Batmobile.
  • Just about all of Professor Flakey's Spoonerisms in the Sequel Episode "The Caped Crusader Caper".

• From "The Ghostly Creep From The Deep" (with the Harlem Globetrotters) after Meadowlark tricks Curly into "volunteering" for the first watch:
  Curly: Sometimes I wish Meadowlark would learn to keep my big mouth shut!
• Just about everything about the run-down resort in "The Secret of Shark Island." A highlight is Sonny Bono being told that the brochure listing all the water sports has a misprint and was meant to say it doesn't have any of those activities.
• "The Haunted Horseman of Hagglethorn Hall":
  • At Velma's suggestion, Davy Jones tries to soothe the Moat Monster with a song. This leads to a rather goofy chase scene as Davy sings "I Can Make You Happy" (remember, to a giant frog monster), as he and the girls try to run, hop, and dance away.
  • Early in the chase sequence, the Moat Monster hits its head on a stalactite while trying to follow the group. It briefly lies sprawled on the ground with an "Oh, that hurt!" expression.
  • The girls and Davy (who are all wearing some form of heels) hop lightly across a series of small rocks in a lake. Twice. The Moat Monster, despite being a frog, falls into the water both times.
  • Also this bit between Velma and Davy:
    Velma: They say music soothes the savage beast.
    Davy: But I've never sung for frogs before, just Monkees.

• The Ghost of the Red Baron hopping adds a silly side to an otherwise rather serious villain. However, it's topped off by Moe changing his mind about staying on the ground while Larry and Curly go up in the plane. He quips that it's not safe for a chicken (him) on the ground with "that red rabbit" hopping about.

• "The Spirit Spooked Sports Show":
  • All of Shaggy and Scooby's Accidental Athlete feats when they're running from ghosts (or Tim Conway when his shirt catches on fire in the final scene).
    Conway: Hey, no fair. The pole vault is measured in feet, not miles.
  • Most of the moments where Conway is being klutzy, especially when he's talking about how he gets typecast as a slapstick comedian.
• In "The Haunted Candy Factory", when Fred, Daphne, and Velma find a metal grinding machine, Fred decides to test it out by tossing in the key they used to get into the factory.
  • Speaking of which, when the gang unlocks the padlock on the factory's front door, it falls to the ground and hops around for no reason. Shaggy chalks it up to the creepy atmosphere of the factory making the padlock nervous.

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