Firstly, the car stunt over the river in Thailand wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that slide whistle!
Bond asks who would pay a million dollars to have him killed. Quote M: "Jealous husbands, outraged chefs, humiliated tailors. The list is endless!"
Bond asking Miss Goodnight, who's in a bikini, "Aren't we a little overdressed, Goodnight?".
Bond accidentally swallowing a spent Scaramanga bullet he was retrieving during a fight and requesting that a taxi take him to "the nearest pharmacy" afterward.
Saida: I've lost my charm! Bond: Not from where I'm standing.
Later on when Q and Carstairs are unable to trace the bullet:
You mean there's no way to trace that bullet? You have no idea what it went through to get here.
Andrea trying to explain what Scaramanga looks like so Bond can find him at Bottoms Up, and after struggling to come up with a distinctive feature she mentions his third nipple.
Bond: Fascinating anatomical tidbit. But probably the most useless piece of information I've ever heard. Unless, of course, the Bottoms Up is a strip club.....and Scaramanga is performing.
And this is after her even more non-specific and useless Tall, Dark, and Handsome description, to which Bond retorts that makes a pretty good description of his aunt. Even more meta-hilariously, Bond's mention of a living aunt is the closest *thing* this movie ever gets to the literary canon, because he actually does have one (mentioned in his obituary, You Only Live Twice.)
Scaramanga catching Goodnight picking the lock to his car trunk, and placing a tracking device inside the boot right after his meeting with James Bond. Instead of confronting her, or killing her, he grabs her by the shoulder and the waistband of her pants before casually shoving her into the boot, and slamming the lid down on her; the " Oh, Crap! " look on her face when she realizes that she's been caught just before she is tossed inside is priceless, and the smirk on Scaramanga's face after he slams the lid down are amusing, to say the least.
Chasing Scaramanga, Bond races into a nearby rental car office and steals an AMC Hornet. It's only after he crashes it through the shop window that he realizes the other passenger is none other than Sheriff J.W. Pepper from Live and Let Die!
Q: Oh, that's perfectly feasible, sir. In fact, we're working on one now.
M: Oh, Q, shut up!
Nick Nack giving a "So long, sucker!" look to Bond during the car chase scene. Made funnier with the look of amused contentment on Scaramanga's face.
The end scene, where M is asking for Goodnight. What is Bond's response? "Good night, sir." It feels like a pun that should've come earlier, but held back until the last possible moment.
Bond's final fight with Nick Nack, where he traps him inside a suitcase.
Nick Nack: Let me out! You big bully!
Bond: (flatly) Shut up.
The hitman in the opening scene being horrified at having shot a dummy of Al Capone. "Wherever you are, don't hold it against me!"
When the school minions swarm out to attack, Bond chivalrously steps in front of the two girls to defend them. Instead, both nieces get serious looks on their faces and step in front of Bond getting into martial arts stances to defend him. And they both tear through the oncoming minions like whirling dervishes as Bond looks on in amazement.
When Bond's gun falls into dark oblivion, Scaramanga's facial expression is priceless. He must be thinking something like: "What the fuck was that?? The guy's gonna kill himself before I find him!"
Bond is served a wine under the brand name Phuyuck.
Bond telling Andrea "I didn't recognize you with clothes on."
While James is on a boat and on the run from a group of assassins, a young boy climbs aboard and tries to sell him a wooden elephant. Then his boat breaks down, and he offers the boy 20,000 baht if he could fix it...which he does by simply flipping a switch.
Boy: (smiling smugly) Twenty thousand baht!
Bond: (after he pushes the boy into the water without paying him) I'm afraid I'm going to have to owe you!
Boy: Bloody tourist!
What makes this hilariously ironic is that Roger Moore would later become a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF.
Bond turns around in the boxing match to find Nick Nack pointing a gun at him and eating peanuts.
Bond:A gun in a bag of peanuts, how original. What will they think of next?
After kicking his first opponent at the karate school in the face while the latter is bowing, Bond is now faced with the school's best student; the student, quite sensibly, bows to Bond while never taking his eyes off him so Bond extends a hand, no doubt hoping to get another cheap shot in... and gets clobbered immediately. They're the villains, he's the hero, but it feels like just desserts.
Having beaten the star pupil at the school, Bond bows before making his escape. When in Rome...
Scaramanga's amused reaction to Bond escaping the karate school?
What do they teach in that school, ballet dancing?
Behind The Scenes
The compilation book The Incredible World of 007 gives a behind the scenes example as told by Maurice Binder, who designed the provocative title sequences for all the EON films up through Licence to Kill; they ran into a problem with one of the nude models, her pubic hair was sticking up when they needed it flat. After a few minutes of her trying and failing to get it right, the model gave Binder the brush and told him to fix the hair to how he needed it; as Binder recalls it, he was not about to pass up that opportunity. The whole thing was seen by Roger Moore and producer Harry Saltzman, causing Moore to turn to Saltzman and quip, "If you're the producer of this film, you're not getting the perks!"
Herve: Tonight, Maud, I am going to come into your room, climb under your sheets and make wild passionate love to you.
Maud: Yes. And if I find out you have, I'm going to be very angry.
While filming a scene with Britt Ekland in Hong Kong, hundreds of onlookers came and started taking pictures. Britt said, "Oh, I do like being a film star". Moore laughed, then quipped, "They're here to see Maud and Herve, now behave yourself".
"Just before leaving Hong Kong for a new location in Bangok, Cubby called me in the hotel, sounding very excited. He'd found a fantastic tailor who'd made him a number of suits in twenty-four hours for a very good price. He wore one of the suits to the airport and as he was walking up the steps of the plane, the trousers split in two. Needless to say, he ribbed mercilessly".
On his hotel room in Pang Na, Phuket:
I had a rather large room with a ceiling fan - there was no air conditioning - and, down a step, was what they laughingly called a bathroom. The tiny room boasted a sink that was about six inches wide, a square with a hole in the centre, which was a toilet, above that was a shower and next to it was a bucket, which you filled with water to flush the toilet. I joked to Cubby that I could squat over the hole, clean my teeth, take a shower and shave all at the same time. "That's nothing", he said. "I can do all that and shove a broom up my ass to sweep the room clean, too".
For the scene in Beirut, which was the final scene filmed, Moore wore a nice silk suit that he was looking forward to stealing at the end of shooting. He noticed Cubby at the top of a ladder...and he promptly dropped a can of paste on it.
In one interview, Moore pointed out the irony of himself, the UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, callously throwing a child overboard in a river.
Years after completing the film, Christopher Lee visited Scaramanga's island. He tried to keep a low profile, but was recognised by a tourist, who said to him, "Well I'm sure you feel at home here".
The Novel
The psychologist's report on Scaramanga mentions a myth that homosexual men cannot whistle - and invites the reader to try it as an experiment. M does (and can, for what it's worth)
◊ as Bond describes Scaramanga's escape by car-turned-airplane. That is the face of a man who has seen (and heard) everything.Q: Oh, that's perfectly feasible, sir. In fact, we're working on one now.M: Oh, Q, shut up!
