Rasputin: I only make decisions when my stomach is full or my balls are empty. Orlando: ...Well, thank God, dinner is being served.
Conrad, upon realizing that their plan depends on him seducing Rasputin, asks that they make sure the tart is poisoned.
The way Rasputin mentions to Orlando that the man's son seems to be trying to seduce him is pretty funny, too.
Sure, Orlando being in a deep state of depression from Conrad's death is tragic, but there's something darkly hilarious seeing Ralph Fiennes disheveled, unshaven and drunk, rejecting tea in favor of Scotch, which he dubs "Scotch Time."
Orlando:(slurring) FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON'T WANT ANY FUCKING TEA!
After strangling Mata Hari unconscious with her scarf, Orlando explains himself to the American ambassador by saying she had an extreme case of hypoxia.
Orlando plans to get into the Shepherd's base by flying there with Shola, where the latter will need to jump off with a makeshift parachute. The subtle Oh, Crap! look on Shola's face confirms his acrophobia in a hilarious way!
Orlando:(After Shola confesses his acrophobia to him) Hmm. Well, it, um... it would be bad form to ask a man to do something that I wouldn't do myself.
For that matter, we get to see the Big Bad land after falling from an immeasurably high plateau. Though not gory, there's a delightfully huge explosion of smoke, dirt, and debris.
When the Kingsman organization is created at the end, each member finds out their codename. Archie's is Lancelot, which is a hefty dose of Black Comedy. Although he switched positions with Conrad, sparing him from the war, he will end up having the same fate as any person who has that codename: death!
