Size 12 is Not Fat
- A woman at the beginning of the story trying to find a Size 0 in a retail shop. While Heather is having trouble finding a good pair of jeans.
Size 14 is Not Fat Either
- Drugged Heather at the end of Size 14 Is Not Fat Either proceeds to tell Detective Canavan, Gavin, her father and Cooper that she loves them, and tells Reggie how much she wants to visit his banana plantation while her mouth is bloody. Because she bit a guy.
- She apparently said the same thing to everyone she encountered - including the potted plants at the door.
- Drugged Heather recovering at the hospital, and her visitors. All of them.
- Reggie. Heather is miffed with him because he lied to her about being a drug dealer when he's really an undercover cop.
- Sarah cheerfully telling Heather that the doctors are pumping her with depressants to deal with the roofies, hence why Heather feels bad.
- Detective Canavan giving Heather a Dove candy bar as a reward for helping the police. It's not even the ice cream kind.
- Tom Snelling informing Heather that the administration has decided to promote him for how he "handled" the drug bust and Kimberly's death. Heather is upset because Tom is a Nice Guy and Benevolent Boss and she gets no credit for risking her life to find Kimberly's murderer.
- Gavin getting Heather to agree to date him when he moves out of Fischer Hall
Big-Boned
- Heather trying to run with Tad Tocco. She describes it feeling like "her uterus is going to fall out".
- Becomes a Brick Joke with Muffy Fowler, who dates Tad later and starts a relationship with him till The Bride Wore Size 12. She's later seen running, and vows to convert Tad to eating fried chicken
Size 12 and Ready to Rock
- Jordan Cartwright asking if Cooper is dating Jordan's "best girl" Heather, with whom Jordan broke up to chase Tania Trace, and saying such a pairing would be like incest.
- Tom Snelling and Coach Steve Andrews's choice of a bar: a place named for Moby-Dick. Without "Moby" at the front. Cooper even lampshades the odd choice of name. "Dick" is slang for "detective".
- The Cartwright dinner, except for the bit with Tania's backstory. Highlights:
- Cooper putting his sister Jessica in a headlock as she's about to spill the beans about his engagement to Heather.
- Nicole playing a song about drinking her menstrual blood.
- Heather then gets a riff off that by joking that if Nicole writes about Tania's giving birth, it will be about eating the placenta, going on with "It was the color magenta. It tasted like polenta."
- Resident hall administrator Simon Hague's punishment for allowing Gary Hall to stay in Wasser Hall, posing as a college student, thanks to Simon taking a long weekend in the Hamptons when he should've been on campus: not being allowed to attend the Tania Trace Rock Camp Concert, where all the university employees are invited. Cool and Unusual Punishment indeed, and Tania calls him an "ugly and horrible man."
The Bride Wore Size 12
- Gavin is still crushing on Heather while dating a student his age; apparently Heather is his "celebrity freebie." As Gavin explains it, if he or his girlfriend Jamie have an opportunity to date one chosen celebrity, they each have permission to take it. Jamie's celebrity freebie is Robert Downey Jr., if he's wearing the Iron Man suit.
- The number of people that Nicole Cartwright invited to Heather's wedding without her permission, including the MLI Eva and Detective Canavan
