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Funny / The Dark Crystal

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For The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, see here.


Film

  • Fizzgig (Kira's tiny dog-like creature) always seems to find ways of getting into trouble.
    • He throws a childish temper tantrum until Kira lets him come with them on the Landstriders, opening his mouth the biggest he can when roaring.
    • Then there's his escapade:
      Aughra: How did you get out there?!
    • Further explanation warranted: Fizzgig, after being thrown down the shaft of air and fire for biting SkekUng and keeping the crystal shard from him is holding onto the reflector with his mouth. Aughra notices him and gets a pitchfork, poking him with an annoyed "Come on then."as she tries to get him to let go so she can fish him out. Fizzgig whines and whimpers as his little legs are kicking the air.
  • "Wings! I don't have wings!" "Of course not, you're a boy."
  • When the Skeksis are having dinner, the Garthim bring in a struggling sack which they assume is the Gelfling. Instead, out pops Aughra!
    Aughra: Fools! Skeksis fools! What do you want with me!?
    Garthim-Master: This is no Gelfling!
    Aughra: Of course I'm no Gelfling, you putrid lizards!
    • She goes on to give one of the Garthim a Dope Slap.
  • When Aughra is chewing out the Skeksis, who might be evil and disgusting but abhor profanity.
    Aughra: Mouldy mildew, mother of mouthmuck, dangle and strangle and death!
    Ornamentalist: Oh! How crude!
    Ritual Master: Watch your tongue, harridan! We are lords of the Crystal!
  • The Gourmand's and Ornamentalist's over-the-top reaction when the Chamberlain showed them Kira.
    Ornamentalist: AAAAAAAHHHH!!! Gelfling! Right here in the castle!
    Gourmand: Come and look! Such an ugly monster!
    • The other skeksis turning to look as the two hurry into the throne room, screaming all the while. The Garthim-Master and the Ritual-Master exchange a look that makes it quite clear that neither of them have any idea what they're trying to say.
    • Leading up to that is the conversation they were having about food or something. They seem to have a Those Two Guys vibe going on.
      Ornamentalist: I like those grey ones that go mushy when you put them on your fork.
  • Kind of amusing that Kira, in the midst of experiencing "dreamfasting" — sharing her memories with Jen — bothers to correct his grammar partway through.
  • Aughra gets excited upon hearing that Jen was sent by the Mystic leader.
    Aughra: Where is he? Is he here?
    Jen: He's dead.
    Aughra: Could be anywhere, then.
  • After the Emperor dies in a truly horrible fashion and his body crumbles away into dust, the remaining Skeksis all stare at him and then at each other, like they're not sure what to make of it.
  • Jen climbing past some pink bushes, only for those bushes to then scurry away out of sight when he makes a noise.
  • Aughra about the great conjunction that's coming up:
    Aughra: (matter-of-factly) Anything could happen. Whole world might burn up.
  • During the Garthim attack on the podling village, a podling woman screams and runs for it, revealing Fizzgig, who was lying concealed under her dress. He also screams and runs for it, for a good reason as a garthim claw then comes down right where he was.
    • The elderly podling lady hitting the garthim's back with her stick.
  • SkekSil seeming to troll SkekUng when he says he hates the Chamberlain's whimper by whimpering non-stop all the way to the Emperor's room.

Meta

  • If you have the DVD and watch the original audio, it's super funny hearing Fozzie Bear / Yoda's voice (Frank Oz) coming out of Aughra's mouth.
  • In the documentary The World of the Dark Crystal, you can hear Frank as Aughra saying, "... All this and I haven't ducked yet. Please hurt me, I'm asking for it."
    • Oz making a Podling puppet back into a cameraman's knee. The smile sells it.

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