Funny / The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes

Poor Spidey. He never catches a break.

From the cartoon:

Season 1

Micro-Episodes

• From the micro-episode "The Man in the Ant Hill," when Hank asks Janet to make sure that the mercenaries he shrank don't get eaten by ants, he uses a tone that almost makes the task sound like an errand as typical as buying extra groceries after work.
  • By contrast, Jan's disgust at the thought of the ants eating people.
• Three Words from "Hulk vs the World", "Tick, Tick, Boom!"
• This witty line from the Hulk:
  Hulk: Hulk smash rock, Einstein.
  • This was in response to the Absorbing Man changing from metal to rock. He not only could actually take a punch from the Hulk in his metal form, he had the gall to brag about absorbing a weaker material. Cue the Hulk punching his arm off and the aforementioned line.
• In the micro-episode, "Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.", after Grim Reaper knocks Nick Fury off of the flying car they were on:
  Grim Reaper: "Hahaha! That's it, run! Run-" (looks up and sees the bomb that Fury planted on his scythe counting down to 3 seconds) "...oh."
• Hulk just holding Hawkeye's head in his fist, watching him dangle uselessly.
• Bucky to Captain America: "You always get me caught."
• From "The Big House," Arnim Zola playing Pong.
  • As well as Ant-Man's Poke of Death to Whirlwind.

Breakout

• Thor talking to Jane here, after just saving her life. Jane is amused by the fact he seems to be following her.
  Jane: "Hey, have you been following me?"
  Thor: (sheepishly) "... Perhaps?"
  • While this is happening, in the background someone tries to get their car running... only for the airbag to go off in their face.
  • Also, Thor and his inability to comprehend the bendy straw.
    • And the little boy staring at him.
• Iron Man startling a farmer while stranded in a cornfield in "Breakout Part 2".
• After Graviton sends Thor to the bottom of the bay, Wasp tells him to "knock it off", then zaps him in the nose when he starts ranting.
• Graviton pushing Iron Man so hard he becomes A Twinkle in the Sky.
• Doubling as a Moment of Awesome, Graviton, while fighting the Avengers sans Hulk, tempts fate.
  Graviton: I'm stronger than all of you! I'm the strongest one there is!
  Hulk: *lands on a building next to him* You sure about that?
  • Thor's reaction to him is priceless.
    Thor: I did not realize there were ogres on Midgard.
• Wasp Cherry Tapping Graviton after the giant battle. Right after all the other would-be Avengers hit him with attacks that could level a city block and more.

Some Assembly Required

• At the beginning of the episode after the Avengers capture Mandrill (via his fearful surrender).
  Wasp: Well, that was easy.
  Thor: Verily. He bringeth shame to all monkeys with his cowardice.
  • After he meets Hulk, you can hear a particular wet dropping sound.
• Wasp and the Hulk have a "little sister/grumpy big brother" thing going, especially when she's making faces at him.
• Iron Man explaining he came late to the Avengers' first gathering because he had a meeting, but then admitting that he missed that meeting too.
• There's also one of Hulk's rare gems here:
  Thor: "T'would be wise to treat the lady with respect."
  Hulk: "Which lady do you mean, blondie?"
• Iron Man presenting the Quinjet, for the two people who can’t fly. Both Hulk and Ant-Man shoot him a “really, Stark?” look at that jab.
• Hulk's annoyance at everyone being late for the first Avengers' meeting.
  • The sheer fact that The Hulk was the only one who got there on time. Then again, he probably doesn’t have anything better to do, what with being a green rage monster who’s been constantly on the run.
  • A lady walking her dog walks right past the Hulk. There is no reaction from her whatsoever. She looked right at him and there was no pause in her pace.
• Wasp's eagerness to move into the Mansion, reasoning that firemen live at the fire station, and Hank's off-handed remark to Ultron's head about Wasp's excitement.
• Both Thor and Hulk trying out their new beds at the Mansion. Thor looks completely out of place lying on his bed, in full armor no less, while Hulk's bed is only big enough for his torso, leaving his feet flat on the ground.

Living Legend

• The faces Wasp makes at the blob monster. It reminded this troper of Candace from Phineas and Ferb.
  • That's nothing compared to the ridiculously big grin Cap gives when he sees that she's not hurt.
• This exchange:
  Iron Man: Avengers, Assemble!
  Ant-Man: We're all right here.
  Iron Man: ...
• Also Wasp coming to after being knocked out by Zemo.
  Wasp: Huh? WhadImiss?
• And this:
  Thor: Mortal technology... you would do well to trust your eyes and ears.
  Iron Man: I'm picking something up on my scanner. It's faint, but it's definitely a life form. That's so weird though, since I can't see or hear anything.
• Iron Man and Cap, in their respective civil identities of Tony Stark and Steve Rogers, share this exchange after defeating Armin Zola's Doughboy:
  Tony: Bio-engineered monsters. Freaky ooze creatures. Is that what it was like fighting evil the '40s?
  Steve: No, sometimes it got strange.
  Tony: Did you just make a joke? Captain America has a sense of humor.
  Steve: Don't get used to it, soldier. And please, call me Steve.
• Tony's confused reaction after Steve asks if he can meet the Avenger wearing "the black cat suit."
  "Wait, who?"
• Wasp's reaction to flying the Quinjet.
  Wasp: This is the coolest thing I've ever done! I'm driving a jet!
  Iron Man: [Over the radio] It's actually on auto-pilot, Wasp. Sorry.
• After Doughboy is blown up, covering the team and even the Statue of Liberty in the messy residue.
  Thor: Victory... is ours.
  Wasp: Hooray.
• After J.A.R.V.I.S. welcomes Tony back, Thor explains J.A.R.V.I.S. to Captain America:
  Thor: The building has its own voice. (Beat) It's very disconcerting.
• Wasp tells Cap that Tony tried to make his room look like one from the 1940s, with a wide shot showing that includes a patriotic pin-up poster.

Everything Is Wonderful

• Wasp and Thor's entire battle with M.O.D.O.C… As dangerous as he is, he ends up being nothing but their Butt-Monkey.
  • Before that, an A.I.M. Mook's horror when the other two reveal that they returned to base.
    A.I.M. Mook: The Avengers were chasing you, and you came here?!
    (Wasp appears and casually leans against his head)
    Wasp: Yeah guys, what were you thinking?
    (Beat while the mook looks at her.)
    Wasp: Hi (Zaps him).
• After M.O.D.O.C. sees the transformation of Wonder Man was successful.
  M.O.D.O.C.: Incredible! I have created a being of ionic energy! I am science! I am genius!
  [Mjölnir smacks him in the face and drives him through a wall]
• The best part is Thor first spotting M.O.D.O.C., where he drops his usual Shakespearean speech pattern and just goes, "...That is a very big head." After a minute or so of M.O.D.O.C. bantering back, Thor is still sort of stuck on it and continues with "Like a Frost Giant's head on an infant's body."
  • It's even funnier because his pseudo-English accent disappears too.
• When the machine being used to create Wonder Man dramatically overloads and explodes due to their battle, Wasp uses it as yet another opportunity to troll M.O.D.O.C.:
  Wasp: "I think you broke it."
  • Made even better by the furious expression he gives in reply.
• Thor using Wasp's terminology and calling the A.I.M. agents "Geeks".
• Also, when Giant-Man takes a moment to geek out over expanding ionic energy before getting hit by Wonder Man. His expression is priceless.

Panther's Quest

• Captain America asking the "projectionist" to adjust the screen while he and the other Avengers watch some security camera footage.
• While Ant-Man and Iron Man plan how to save Wakanda from Klaw:
  Ant-Man: The Vibranium should contain the sound from Klaw's sonic emitter. There's just a small chance that the vibrational shockwave could case destructive inference and then explode.
  (pause)
  Iron Man: I heard "destructive" and "explode."
• Ant-Man's last-ditch plan to stop Klaw's One-Winged Angel form of living sound is to have Iron Man strap on some Applied Phlebotinum and fly directly into him. Iron Man's This Is Gonna Suck reaction (and Hank only making a half-assed attempt to claim it won't) make the whole thing a very funny joke at his expense.
  Ant-Man: It might... tingle. A lot.
  Iron Man: Great...
  • And later:
    Iron Man: This is less like tingling and more like horrible pain!
  • And afterwards, as Ant-Man congratulates Iron Man on his victory, we get a shot of Iron Man laying on top of a heap of Vibranium, shaking uncontrollably.
    Iron Man: Great, now make me stop vibrating!
• Earlier, Wasp's reaction to Klaw's becoming a monster of pure sound:
  Wasp: So, does anyone have a plan? Mine is ear-plugs, but it's kind of short term...
• At the end, after Black Panther declares he wishes to join the Avengers, Iron Man isn't exactly happy about it. But when Wasp points out that he might be the Avengers' best chance for a ride home...
  Iron Man: (raises hand) You're in.

Gamma World

• Hawkeye telling the Hulk that he'd better do what he says, or else he'll take him out on his own. It also counts as a Moment of Awesome since making Hulk laugh at that statement is how he makes Hulk turn back into Banner.
• Absorbing Man absorbs the proprieties of Mjolnir, including that it's controlled by Thor. Cue Thor using Absorbing Man as a hammer.
• When she puts on her radiation suit Wasp turns to look behind her with an annoyed expression on her face. She thinks it makes her butt look big.
• Wasp to Black Panther: "I forgot you talked!"
• After the Leader is defeated, we have this exchange
  Leader: (With his head more freakish than normal) "It would have been glorious. I was creating the perfect world all in my image."
  Hulk: "That's the problem; you're ugly."
• Hulk referring to Hawkeye as "Cupid”, mostly likely to convince him to stay.
  Hawkeye: You wanna go, Jade Jaws? Right here and now!? Let's do this!
  Iron Man: Okay... This is gonna be fun.
• From "Gamma World Part 1":
  Captain America: (about Doc Samson) Why does that man have green hair?
  Iron Man: I have no idea.
• The button Leader pushes to turn his podium into a robot suit has an angry face on it.

Masters of Evil

• Thor not understanding the "assemble" signal.
  Thor: This card is troubling. Iron Man's technology is constantly making noises at me.
• Hawkeye is a walking CMOF:
  • His reaction to accidentally tasting a "poisonous" Wakandan skin cream. (As well as Black Panther's smirk afterwards.)
    Hawkeye: (being crushed by Abomination) Please... I'm begging you... brush your teeth.
    Hawkeye: (When Black Panther says he would meet death with dignity) I'll meet mine with kicking and screaming.
    Hawkeye: (after defeating the Masters of Evil) You know, I'm not so sure I wanna be part of a team I have to rescue every week.
  • Following the last moment mentioned in that list, Hawkeye's excitement after Black Panther sarcastically deems him worthy of becoming the new leader.
• A tiny Ant-Man running towards Abomination, who thinks it'll be an easy win, only for Hank to grow into Giant-Man and punt Abomination through the roof like a football.

459

• For starters:
  Hulk: (Talking about Captain Mar-vell) I don't like him.
  Giant-Man: You don't like anybody.
• After Captain Marvel says the Nega-Bomb will kill everything on earth.
  Hulk: I bet I'll survive.
  Thor: Your compassion is overwhelming, troll.
• After returning to earth after having thrown the Nega-Bomb into space.
  Thor: (To Iron Man) I would've woken before I hit ground. I did not need you to catch me.
  Iron Man: Of course you didn't.
  Hulk: Wimp!
• And earlier:
  Wasp: Hulk, smash him.
  Hulk: Finally!
• And this:
  Wasp: Uh, guys? I think I'm sitting on the bomb.
• When Carol starts developing superpowers:
  Carol: (levitating) Guys, why is the ceiling so low?
• The look on Dr. Pym's face when Wasp calls out his apparent lack of romantic interests mid-battle.
• Wasp's expressions in the opening, especially as she shifts from 'childishly grumpy' to 'huge happy smile' in about a millisecond upon meeting Carol.

The Man Who Stole Tomorrow

• Cap repeatedly pwning Tony in a boxing ring during a sparring session. Hulk and Hawkeye enjoy it immensely, laughing together.
  • In Gamma World Part 2, Hulk turned back to Bruce Banner by laughing. Here, Hulk remained as he is while laughing at Tony getting knocked down by Cap.
• Also, Wasp questioning the quality of one of her teammates' quotes:
  Thor: You wish to end a life, villain? Then try ours!
  Wasp: Yeah! Wait, what?
• Wasp trash-talking Blizzard while they take him to the Negative Zone prison.
  Blizzard: This isn't fair! None of you could have taken me alone!
  Wasp: Man, you are a whiner! You've been complaining ever since we caught you, Blizzard. Which was really easy, by the way.
  • Followed by Blizzard being thoroughly creeped out by Ultron trying to be nice to him, and by the Negative Zone in general:
    Blizzard: Did I mention that I was really, really sorry?

Come the Conqueror

• Hulk and Thor made boasts that they could take out more of Kang’s Mary than the other. From the sound of both of them, it’s hard to tell who started it.
  Thor: The Hulk boasted that he would smash more machines than I. (With a smug smirk) He is sorely mistaken.
  Hulk Thor thought he’d smash more robots than me?! Stupid hammer man!
  • Hawkeye and the Hulk hold off Kang's forces on a bridge. Hawkeye brags that he's taken down more enemies than the Hulk and Thor, then they are interrupted by another army of robots.
  Hawkeye: I'll take 'em all. You just get some rest, big guy.
  (the robots proceed to combine into a mecha so big that it dwarfs Giant Man while Hawkeye looks on in shock)
  Hulk: Hmm. Maybe I will get some rest now. Good luck. (walks away)
  • Coincidence or not, both Hulk and Thor are in the same area getting their asses kicked by the machines before the Ultron legion arrives.
• When the Hulk leaps to help Giant-Man and promptly gets sideswiped by a flying drone. This was right after he got huffy about Cap telling him to help to Giant-Man.

The Kang Dynasty

• When Iron Man and Wasp try to break into Damocles:
  Wasp: We could pretend to be Girl Scouts. Everyone opens the door for Girl Scouts.
  Iron Man: You're not helping, Jan.
• Before that, realizing some of them need to go out into space to fight the Scarab Ships:
  Iron Man: Let's go!
  Wasp: ...You mean Hulk, right?!
• Also, Wasp's method for entering.
• Another gem from Ant-Man.
  Ant-Man: Okay, so what now?
  Captain America: We take down Kang.
  Ant-Man: That's right, I forgot. Violence first.
• Ant-Man insisting to Hulk and Hawkeye that Ultron is not a toy or creepy because he designed Ultron to resemble an ant's head.
• Before Captain America boasts, "I don't think I can beat you, Kang...I think Iron Man can!", he quickly glances to his right, to make sure Tony found them.

Widow's Sting

• We have this exchange:
  Mockingbird: I've come a long way since the days of driving you around.
  Hawkeye: That was like, three months ago.
• From the beginning of the episode, the tiny-armed M.O.D.O.C. straining to remove one of Hawkeye's arrows from his head.
  M.O.D.O.C.: Can't reach... Retreat! Retreat!
• After Hawkeye very quickly comes around to Mockingbird joining up with them on their anti-HYDRA mission, Panther remarks to Cap that if Hawkeye betrays the Avengers, at least they now know his weakness.
  Well, at least we now know his weakness, if he was ever to turn against us.
• When Mockingbird asks Hawkeye why he was happy to have her along even though he knew she was sent by Fury to divert them, his response?
  Well, the costume didn't hurt.
  • Which gets a Call-Back when Hawkeye asks a similar question and Mockingbird retorts:
  Mockingbird: Hmm, the costume had a lot to do with it.
• After Iron Man scolds Cap and Panther for helping Hawkeye disobey S.H.I.E.L.D.:
  Iron Man: I told Hawkeye to let it go! Maybe you remember that?
  Captain America: It sounded more like a suggestion than an order.
  Black Panther: Wakandan elders teach that the line between "revenge" and "avenge" is easily blurred.
  Iron Man: (to Ant-Man) You see what I have to put up with?

The Casket of Ancient Winters

• Magical blizzards engulf the entire world. Up until then, it was around 100 degrees Fahrenheit out, so Hulk, Jan, and Clint were hanging out at the mansion's pool. Afterwards, the pool was frozen with the Hulk inside it.
  Hulk: You left Hulk in the pool. IT FROZE!
  Wasp: Oh yeah... heh. We forgot you were in there.
• Prior to the blizzard, Hawkeye's hilarious tan lines. The dude has a farmer's tan.
• After the storm begins, Clint tells Jan to look at the bright side. Jan asks him how they can do that, causing him to pause, then admit he can't find the bright side.
• There's something to be said about the inherent comedy value of the Hulk gently swimming back and forth in a swimming pool.
• When Tony argues with Thor about how magic can prove as equally dangerous as science. It's hilariously petty and childish, by both of them, while T'Challa's quietly figuring out the problem.
  Tony: You always complain about technology and science creating monsters, and now some magic box from Imaginationland has frozen the planet!
  Thor: Do you really wish to take this path? How many times have we faced danger created in a lab?
  Tony: I don't know, but I remember your little blond Enchantress taking down the whole team twice. And who was the guy with the axe, another Asgardian? Oh, right, he was gonna chop off my head.
  Thor: Amora and Skurge will be dealt with!
  Tony: Oh, so you're on a first-name basis with them! Nice. You should form your own team, the Crazy Magic People.
• This:
  Tony: I'm starting to think Wasp and Hawkeye are the smart ones.
  Black Panther: I did not realize there was any question.
• While Thor, Iron Man, and Panther deal with Maleketh, the rest of the team is slowly being whittled down by the ice monsters until Wasp is the last one left. Then after Maleketh is defeated and everyone wakes up:
  Hawkeye: What happened?
  Wasp: I beat everybody and you guys totally missed it.
• After the Human Torch saves Cap with a fire blast, he writes "You owe me one" with his flames in the sky.

Hail HYDRA!

• The look on M.O.D.O.C.'s face when the Cosmic Cube is almost fully uploaded.
  • Apparently Marvel thought this was funny too, and made the image into a promotional desktop wallpaper:[1]
• Wasp tries to make light of how everyone is always so afraid of Hulk. Which leads to a small exchange between the two of them.
  Wasp: I bet she really thought you'd eat her.
  Hulk: I would.
  Wasp: (laughs before turning around nervously)
• This exchange:
  Hulk: I say we let 'em fight, enjoy the show.
  Pym: There's nothing to enjoy about fighting.
  Hulk: You're doing it wrong, then.
  • And then later, after Hulk saves Ant-Man from some Dreadnoughts.
    Hulk: See? Fighting is fun!
• After Ant-Man watches Hawkeye admit to Black Widow that he has grown to understand and accept her reasons for framing him of betraying S.H.I.E.L.D., and Widow assure Hawkeye that she didn't enjoy betraying him, he comments, "And I thought Jan and I had issues."
• And there's Hawkeye Lampshading the fact that he is usually the one to pull a Big Damn Heroes moment when the Avengers are in trouble.
  Hawkeye: Don't panic everyone, I'm here to save the world. Again.

Ultron-5

• At the beginning of the episode, Black Panther and Hulk bring in the Red Ghost and his Super-Apes for custody.
  (Hulk busts down the door and tosses the unconscious villains into the room)
  Hulk: Called themselves the Super-Apes. Didn't seem so super to me.
  Iron Man: Why would you do that? The doors open automatically!
  Thor: Well done, Hulk. 'Tis surprising how many monkeys we face in battle.
• After Ultron makes the computer systems in the Avengers' Mansion go crazy and attack the Avengers.
  Black Panther: The mansion's systems have been compromised.
  Hawkeye: No kidding.

The Ultron Imperative

• After the Avengers take down the Ultron-controlled Iron Man armors and learn about the attack on the Helicarrier, Hawkeye tells Iron Man that he and Black Panther can finish up at the mansion while the others go to the Helicarrier. After the other Avengers leave, cue all of the suits of armor powering back up and surrounding Hawkeye and Panther.
  Black Panther: (stares at Hawkeye)
  Hawkeye: Yeah, I know. I'm dumb.
• While the Avengers and Maria Hill are battling Ultron aboard the Helicarrier, Wasp points out that Hank didn't design Ultron with built-on guns, to which the robot responds that his model was modified by Tony Stark. Maria Hill glares at Tony and Hawkeye quips to Ultron:
  Hawkeye: That's just perfect. What did Hulk contribute; your bad attitude?

This Hostage Earth

• Hawkeye has one:
  Hawkeye: Can anyone tell me how to stop this... whatever it is? There's an elf giving me a dirty look.
  Elf: >:|
• Also his exchange with Chemistro.
  Chemistro: How could you not remember who I am? You punched me in the face!
  Hawkeye: That doesn't really narrow it down, pal.
  • The best part of this is that it's a long time Brick Joke. Back in "Breakout" part 1, Chemistro was gathering his stuff and Hawkeye did punch him in the face. Just makes the line more funny to show the ways Hawkeye socks it to the villains.
  • Even better, he guesses he's Paste-Pot Pete or the Hypno-Hustler, two of the most ridiculously named villains Marvel's ever published.
• During the battle between Wasp and Abomination, the latter catches the former between his hands. When he peers inside to see if she was crushed, he sees Wasp stick her tongue out at him like a little kid and then blast him right in the eyeball.

The Fall of Asgard

• Hulk is transported into the realm where the trolls and ogres live, and when they see him one asks, "What is it? Do they have such ugly things in Vanaheim?"
• Doubles as a CMOA, but you can't help but laugh when the ogres dog-pile on Hulk, boasting, "The beast is strong, but not strong enough!" and as expected, Hulk throws them all over the place, roaring his Catchphrase:
  "Hulk is strongest there is!!"

A Day Unlike Any Other

• The assembled Avengers and Asgardians are outside the gates when a horn sounds, and huge footsteps echo out. Wasp think it's more Frost Giants; Hulk disagrees — "Feels bigger". It turns out to be an enormous ice wolf named Hoarfen. Hulk goes "Told ya."

Season 2

The Private War of Dr. Doom

• Johnny Storm boasting during the poker game that he and the other members of the Fantastic Four saved the world before breakfast.
• Johnny acting shocked that Captain America^note The Skrull, not Steve would forget about him being the Human Torch. This becomes especially funny for those who can recall Chris Evans portraying Johnny and Steve in two different movie franchises.
• The constant fighting and back and forth insults between The Hulk and The Thing.
  • Especially when the Hulk grabs the Thing by the leg and swings him at the Doombots.
  • Hulk & Thing in the poker game - Thing has a full house, so Hulk dives across the table & starts fighting with him. Cue T'Challa nonchalantly declaring that he has four aces.
• When Sue welcomes Tony and Jan to the Baxter Building:
  Sue: Hi, Tony. Reed's in his lab. He's expecting you.
  Tony: What? Mr. Fantastic in his lab, ignoring you? Shocker. Why are you still hanging around with that guy, when you could be with me?
  (Jan elbows Tony)
  Tony:Uh, you know, as the Invisible Woman. Joining the Avengers.
  • To make it better, Tony was in the Iron Man suit at the time. And Jan elbowed him in the gut. The dull thud and her sharp wince just sells it.
• When the Doombots connect via energy beams. Reed calls them Daisy Chains. Then we cut to the rest of the Avengers and get this:
  Hawkeye: Daisy what?
  • And then you remember that they're modeled after a man's likeness.

Alone Against A.I.M.

• Tony is working on a replacement for Cap's shield when Pepper walks in:
  Tony: Pepper, throw your shoes at me!
• Although you could see it coming from a mile away from the recap when Tony asks who his 7'o clock appointment is, it cuts to a very impatient Maria Hill remarking, "You're late."
• Pepper Potts has a couple of pretty funny sarcastic quips to A.I.M.'s Scientist Supreme while she is held captive by him.
  Scientist Supreme: Do you know who I am?
  Pepper: *smirks* An angry beekeeper?
• Tony Stark gets chewed out by Maria Hill just like every single other time she appears on screen. His reaction?
  Tony: So I'm guessing dinner is out of the question.

Acts of Vengeance

• Zemo and the surviving Masters of Evil approach the Avengers for an Enemy Mine against the Enchantress, but before he can explain anything, the Hulk does what he does best, tackles Abomination, and starts beating him up. And then keeps punching him in the background while Zemo and Captain America talk things out. Nobody seems to notice (or care) for a solid minute until Zemo points out, "Your monster attacked our monster," and Cap calls him off. Hulk stands down...but not before giving Abomination one last parting shot.
• When the Avengers are in a huddle, discussing their alliance with the Masters of Evil:
  Hulk: We should just smash 'em!
  Hawkeye: Really? How long did it take you to come up with that plan, genius?
  Hulk: I can smash you too!
• Wasp wanting to keep the frozen in gold Chemistro.

Welcome To the Kree Empire

• The scene with Tony, Cap, and Hulk in the mansion contains such moments as the Hulk scarfing a whole chicken, Cap asking Tony if he's sure that Tony only blacked out once during their latest boxing match, and Hulk completely failing to give a crap:
  Tony: I'm gonna go rebuild J.A.R.V.I.S. for the hundredth time.
  Hulk: No. Need you here. S.H.I.E.L.D. called. (nonchalantly keeps eating)
  Tony: And...?
  Hulk: Aliens are invading. (still totally calm, keeps eating)
  Tony: (shares a look with Cap, then with strained patience) Did they say where?
• The introduction of Abigail Brand, which ends with her threatening to shoot a non-cooperative computer.
  Brand: Access computer.
  (Nothing Happens)
  Brand: Access please?
  (Nothing Happens)
  Brand: (Unholsters pistol) Access right now or I will shoot you in your stupid A.I. face!
  (Agent Danvers and Gyrich show up)
  Danvers: Uh commander, this is Henry Gyrich, our liaison.
  Brand: Not now, I have a computer to shoot.

To Steal an Ant-Man

• After Iron Fist says it sounds exciting for him and "Power Man" to work with an Avenger:
  Luke Cage: Man, knock that off. And I told you never to call me, "Power Man," Danny!
• After Crossfire mockingly asks Hank Pym, Iron Fist, and Luke Cage if they're supposed to be the Avengers:
  Luke Cage: Yeah, we're the Avengers. I'm Captain America and my friend in the pajamas is Thor. Now let the girl go before we avenge you upside the head.
• After beating all the thugs and saving Scott Lang's daughter, we get this gem from Luke.
  Luke Cage: Yo, Pym! Where do we send the bill?
• When Luke and Iron Fist first run into a couple of Cross's super-thugs, one of them repeatedly tries to punch out Cage, who just stands unmoving and unfazed for a few punches before cracking the guy's arm and tossing him into a dumpster, quipping,
  Luke Cage: It's called unbreakable skin, fool. *punch*

Michael Korvac

• As Tony begins explaining the readings from studying Michael in detail to the Hulk, Tony realized the Hulk (who, like in "Welcome to the Kree Empire," is calmly eating chicken the whole time) probably doesn't understand or care about any of this. Cue the Hulk correctly identifying Michael's strange readings as cosmic energy before even Tony could come to that conclusion. Guess Tony forgot that Hulk shares his skull with a genius.
• Hawkeye's quip during the Avenger's staredown with the Guardians that kind of calls back to Season One, "This Hostage Earth":
  Hawkeye (To Iron Man): There's a tree and a raccoon scowling at us, man. Are we firing?
• The stand-off between Hulk and Rocket Raccoon, as the two hold their ground and try to intimidate the other.
• Hawkeye noting that Korvac, being a former alien abduction victim and all, probably isn't going to react well to waking up Strapped to an Operating Table.
• As the fight between the Guardians and the Avengers ends and everyone starts listening to the other side, Hulk comes crashing down from the ceiling, holding Groot's head, to grab Rocket Raccoon. As Hulk holds the two, Groot's head solemnly declares "I AM GROOT!" causing a reaction from both Rocket Raccoon and the Hulk.
• As Iron Man analyzes Quasar, we get this.
  Iron Man: I have shields too, lady. Your sword isn't going to do much.
  Quasar *Uses her quantum bands to completely surround Iron Man with weapon constructs*
  Iron Man: (completely deadpan) Okay, those might do something.

Who Do You Trust?

• Tony messing up the "welcome toast" meant to begin the pizza party.
  Clint: Wow, you're really bad at this.
  Tony: Well, I'm really good at "you just got fired" speeches, Hawkeye, if you catch my drift.
  • And then afterwards:
    Janet: I'm just happy there's finally another girl on the team.
    Tony and Clint: Hear, hear!
• Hulk and the Black Panther are on monitor duty at the Avengers Mansion. When Hulk is getting restless at Panther's complete and utter silence, we get this gem:
  Hulk: You talk too much.
  • To be more accurate, Hulk is on monitor duty. Black Panther is on Hulk duty.
• Also, Hawkeye and Janet standing around heckling Ms. Marvel ("the new guy") while she's fighting Griffin. Captain America then rolls up and grimly notes that in his day, they didn't treat rookies like this. He adds they treated them a lot worse, then sits back to watch the fight.
  • Fridge Brilliance kicks in when you realize the Cap in this scene is actually a Skrull impostor. For all we know, he could be referring to his own training, in a bit of Sincerity Mode.
• Carol boasts that if Clint were still a S.H.I.E.L.D. member, she'd outrank him. He responds by creating a little bow and firing a toothpick at her, which she promptly vaporizes.
• Tony's rather blunt method of finding out who the Skrull is.
  Tony: ...Is anyone here a shape-shifting alien?
• And after that. Fury on him doing that.
  Fury: This is a man that kept his identity secret for all of five minutes. Can't say I'm surprised.

Nightmare in Red

• After Bruce Banner insists that as part of the Avengers, he should get a chance to help face Red Hulk:
  Hawkeye: You're not an Avenger, the Hulk is. Calling you an Avenger is like saying my bow is a member of the team.
• After the team discovers that Red Hulk has captured Bruce Banner, Jan reminds everyone else that they can trace the signal of Banner's ID card to find out where the two of them went, then comments that they must really be in trouble if she had to come up with that plan.
• Dr. Banner in his fishing hat and vest.
• Stepping into an elevator, Bruce mentions that Hawkeye is making it hard to not just Hulk out and tear everything to pieces. Hawkeye sensibly edges to the side.

Prisoner of War

• As the ragtag group of prisoners attempt to escape the Skrulls that imprison them, we get this gem:
  Henry Gyrich: Captain, if we need to sacrifice the others to get me on that shuttle, I give you full authorization to do so.
  Dr. Lyle Getz: Who are you?
  Henry Gyrich: Henry Gyrich, Director of S.W.O.R.D..
  King Cobra: What's S.W.O.R.D.?
  Henry Gyrich: We're the agency responsible for dealing with alien threats.
  Dr. Lyle Getz: Well, I hope they fire you.
• Mockingbird's distaste and annoyance at Cobra's lack of scruples.
  • When Mockingbird and Cobra are fighting Skrulls...
    Captain America: Go! Get to the ship!
    (Cobra turns and runs away to the ship)
    Mockingbird: Come on, let's... go? (sees Cobra running away) Psh.. supervillains...
  • After they board the escape shuttle...
    Cobra: What are you waiting for? Go!
    Mockingbird: (knocks him out) We're waiting for Cap and Viper, jerk!
• When Cap and Viper board the plane, Clay Quartermain is behind the controls.
  Captain America: Go! Do it!
  Henry Gyrich: Hit the thrusters or something!
  (Clay responds by smashing the console with both fists. The plane dematerializes and materializes far away.)
  Clay Quartermain: ...Okay, then.
  (Clay looks up to see Viper, Mockingbird, and Gyrich glaring at him, while Cap is grinning)
• Susan Storm's Mandatory Line:
  Hi, Cap. I'm gonna sleep now.

Infiltration

• Carol probably didn't find it funny, but when she asks Jan how she's supposed to know she's not a Skrull, Jan answers, "Because I'm the awesome one!"
• Wasp's quip after she punches Skrull!Ant-Man in the face.
  Wasp: That felt kinda good!
• Iron Man: "J.A.R.V.I.S., I think we have to put Doctor Doom on the Christmas card list."

Secret Invasion

• Maria Hill commenting on how often the Helicarrier gets trashed. Better yet, this line was lifted straight from the comics.
  I've had the same car since I was nineteen years old and never had a problem, yet this thing falls out of the sky every other Thursday.
• After Maria saved Tony Stark's life in a Wire Dilemma for his arc-reactor...
  Iron Man: That one. Thanks.

Along Came A Spider...

• Tony Stark arguing with J. Jonah Jameson. And JJJ keeping his smugness throughout.
  • Just the fact that Jameson retains that expression throughout his screentime, rather than constantly exploding in rage as usual, is funny in itself.
• Hawkeye complaining that Peter Parker is "Ten years old." Peter retorts "I'm seventeen," to which Hawkeye replies "Respect your elders."
• After running off as Peter Parker and coming back as Spider-Man:
  Spider-Man: *In impression of Christopher Nolan Batman voice* I'm Spider-Man!
  Clay Quartermain: What's wrong with your voice?
• When the car is attacked and the serpents free their leaders, Dr. Getz can be seen slowly getting out and running away.
• When Spider-Man is fighting Bushmaster, he breaks off one of the villain's cybernetic arms, then casually rips off the other much to Bushmaster's surprise.
  Spider-Man: Whoops. Sorry about that. Hey, at least now you're more snake-like.
• Spider-Man wondering why Death Adder, a snake-themed villain, has claws.
• Spidey explaining to Iron Man that he's okay before passing out on the floor.
• At the end of the episode after Spider-Man and Captain America fight the Serpent Society, J. Jonah Jameson unsurprisingly blames it partly on Spider-Man, while Cap was reported as the hero. Spider-Man reading the paper with Captain America next to him, is mad. Captain America then repeats the Aesop that he said earlier in the episode. Spidey takes it to heart, saying that as his actions define who he is, he will web up JJJ's mouth. Captain America standing there smiling simply says, "I'm okay with that."

Behold... the Vision!

• Hawkeye challenging Black Panther to be King of Wakanda.
  • And at the end of the episode, Hawkeye tries to pull a fast one on Panther in the arena and throws a punch at him, but T'Challa simply spins him around and twists his arm behind his back.
    Hawkeye: Okay, okay! You can be King of Wakanda!
• Jane Foster's embarrassment when Janet slyly asks if she keeps coming back to the Avengers Mansion just to see Thor.
• When Panther, Hawkeye, Cap, and Thor are attacking Vision en masse towards the end of the episode, Vision consistently states the probability of his mission's success, with the number growing lower and lower with each attack.

Powerless!

• When the Avengers arrive to take on the Wrecking Crew:
  Thor: Only the lowest of mortals would attempt such an assault in broad daylight.
  Iron Man: Well, that's the Wrecking Crew for ya; not exactly stand-outs in the thinking department. But they do pretty well in the "I'm about to take a repulsor blast to the face" department.
• The Big Three and Hawkeye are walking through the subway station after Iron Man, Cap, and Thor lost their powers.
  Cap: We have to keep moving, we can't risk placing civilians in jeopardy.
  Hawkeye: Plus, they probably have a better shot at taking down the baddies than you guys do at this point.
  (All three glare at him)
  Hawkeye: Okay... Senses of humor, also gone.
• Hawkeye fires his last arrow at Bulldozer, which hits him in his armored chest.
  Bulldozer: Ha! Ya missed!
  (the arrow explodes in a gas cloud, choking Bulldozer)
  Hawkeye: Psh, like I ever miss!
• After the Cap, Thor, and Iron Man get their powers back and defeat Loki's Destroyer armor:
  Hawkeye: (throws a brick at the back of the empty Destroyer's head, knocking it over) I don't know what you guys would do without me.

Assault on 42

• At the beginning of the episode when the Avengers are taking Whirlwind to 42.
  Wasp: It's off to prison again! You must be so psyched!
  Whirlwind: *annoyed grunt*
  Wasp: And not just any prison. You've got your own cell waiting for you in 42.
  Ms. Marvel: Jan, do you think it's necessary to tease the prisoner like that?
  Wasp: Yeah, pretty much. Especially when it's Dave; we go way back.
  • For those knowledgeable with the comics, there's a Mythology Gag here: one of Whirlwind's earlier appearances was posing as Jan's chauffeur.
• It's sort of a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, but after Blizzard freezes a wave of Annihilation bugs and makes a sheet of ice on the ground, for a split second you can see an alien bug sliding along the ice on its back, trying to steady itself and with a rather humorous expression.

Ultron Unlimited

• When the Cap and Hawkeye robots show up in the mansion training room to take on Cap and Hawkeye, Clint makes a remark that really calls back to the Skrull invasion:
  Hawkeye: Okay, just to get this outta the way... I'm me.
• After Hawkeye blows the Ms. Marvel robot to pieces:
  Hawkeye (to Ms. Marvel): (grins) Nothing personal!
  Ms. Marvel: (annoyed glare)
• A moment of both Awesome and Funny happens during the fight with Ultron at the end, after Vision disconnects Ultron's head from his body. It's even funnier as a Call-Back to a previous episode.
  Thor (flying in towards Ultron, Mjolnir raised): Ultron!
  (Thor smashes Ultron's head off his shoulders)
  Hawkeye: Nice shot.
  Thor: It was indeed satisfying.

Yellowjacket

• This exchange:
  (Hawkeye is watching TV)
  Black Panther: You Westerners and your obsession with television. Wouldn't you be better served tracking down Dr. Pym's assailant?
  Hawkeye: Hey, you do research your way, I do it mine. Check it.
  (News bulletin about Yellowjacket comes on)
  News Announcer: And what do the Avengers have to say?
  Hawkeye on news interview: No comment. Hey, get that camera out of my face!
  Hawkeye (to Panther): *sigh* When it's good news, Tony always gets interviewed looking like a movie star. When it's bad news, ambush me. Never fails.
• When the Avengers and Yellowjacket are trapped in the rapidly shrinking prison, Tony and Yellowjacket are trying to figure a way of escaping.
  Yellowjacket: If we can relay my bio-signature from Panther's scan into your chest reactor, it'll explode like a wave-motion field and transpose us out of here.
  Hawkeye: Yeah, sure, why didn't I think of that?
• Honestly, most of Yellowjacket's snark though the episode results in these.
  Yellowjacket (during a chase sequence with Thor): Getting mad and throwing lightning bolts. A real tough strategy to crack.
  (Yellowjacket flies inside a building)
  Yellowjacket: Next, he'll probably brag about his hammer.
  (Thor crashes in, pointing his hammer at Yellowjacket)
  Thor: Taste the wrath of Mjolnir!
  (Yellowjacket simply gives a Psychotic Smirk)
• Wasp demands to be in on fighting Yellowjacket:
  Wasp: (to Iron Man) If you say I should sit this one out, I'll zap you in your stupid metal face!
  Iron Man: *Beat* Actually, I was going to suggest you hit him with everything you've got.
  Wasp: ....oh.
• Cap returning Hawkeye's fist-bump.

Emperor Stark

• After Vision has awakened, he finds all of the Avengers are missing. He reactivates J.A.R.V.I.S. and asks where they are.
  Vision: Who is in New York?
  J.A.R.V.I.S.: Thor serves as Iron Man's bodyguard. Hawkeye oversees the Iron Men. And Captain America is behind you.
  (Cap attacks)
• After quickly disposing of an army of Iron Man armors, Hawkeye gives Vision a lesson in genre savviness.
  Vision: That was of minimal difficulty.
  Hawkeye: Did you just say this was easy? You never say it was easy, ever!
  Vision: Why?
  (A brainwashed Thor appears)
  Thor: Your end has come, betrayers!
  Hawkeye: That's why.
• Hawkeye, Ms. Marvel and Vision have just stolen a Quinjet and are flying into space to destroy the satellite that's controlling the world when JARVIS alerts them of impending danger.
  J.A.R.V.I.S.: Warning. Sensors indicate multiple Iron Men are guarding the satellite.
  Hawkeye: That's bad.
  J.A.R.V.I.S.: Warning. Long-range sensors indicate that Thor is in pursuit.
  Hawkeye: That's worse.

New Avengers

• After the Avengers disappear, Tony sends out emergency messages to several of the New Avengers, including Spider-Man and Wolverine, who had just taken out some dinosaurs. The general gist of the message is "you've proven yourself heroes, so now we need you to replace us".
  Holo Iron Man: The world is depending on you. So go save it.
  Wolverine: I'm pretty sure he was talkin' to you, bub.
  Spidey: Well, what am I supposed to do? I have no idea what's going on!
  J.A.R.V.I.S.: Hello, Spider-Man.
  Spidey: Gaaaaah!
  • "Well, the weird British computer guy in my head..."
• Spider-Man introducing Wolverine to the others as his sidekick.
  Wolverine: Don't push it, web-head.
• The Thing explaining that he stayed behind when the rest of the Fantastic Four were in another dimension to watch the game. He then asks War Machine if his armor can pick up the score for the game while they save the world.
• The Thing asking if he's in some alternate universe in reaction to seeing War Machine unmask his armor and not be Tony Stark probably caused some fans of the Ultimate Spider-Man comics to chuckle.
• While Iron Fist is beating up ninjas, he speaks to them in Japanese. Luke Cage asks him what he said to them:
  Iron Fist: I told them that I didn't want to fight.
  Luke Cage: You've got some serious problems, man.
  • And when Luke Cage and Iron Fist are talking about what to do about the current situation, a ninja tries to sneak up on Luke, who simply snaps the ninja's katana and elbows him in the face in one quick movement, still talking to Danny.
• The image above. Spider-Man is about to chow down on a PB&J sandwich when he gets distracted by Kang the Conqueror's attack and the sandwich gets stolen by a bird.
• Luke Cage deciding to help Iron Fist save everyone on the grounds that they send the Avengers the bill for his heroics since the temporal distortions are something they should be handling. It becomes a brick joke when Iron Man points out that Luke sent him a bill at the end of the episode.
• Spider-Man's feeble attempt at an "Avengers Assemble!"
  Thing: *awkward pause* That coulda been better.
• At the end of the episode after Iron Man gives Spider-Man an Avengers ID card, Spidey asks if it can get him a discount anywhere.
  Iron Man: (turns to Cap and Thor) Are we sure about this?
  • Especially funny for those who have read the comics and know that She-Hulk once said they do get you 10% off at Starbucks.

Operation Galactic Storm

• The interactions between Yellowjacket and Abigail Brand, especially when trying to take out the bomb that the Kree planted on the S.H.I.E.L.D. ship.
  Yellowjacket (completely deadpan): Yeah, I've got nothin'. It's going to explode. You've got about twenty-five seconds.
  Agent Brand: I can't evacuate two million people; there's not enough time. You have to do something!
  Yellowjacket: It's going to detonate, I can't stop it. (looks at bomb) Ten seconds.
  Agent Brand: (stares at him in shock and despair) Pym...
  Yellowjacket: My name is Yellowjacket. (shoots the bomb with his Pym-disc gun and it shrinks into nothing) Two seconds.
  Agent Brand: I don't- Wha... what did you do?!
  Yellowjacket: I sent it to the microverse. It just wiped out a few molecules.
  Agent Brand: Why didn't you do that in the first place, why'd you wait?!
  Yellowjacket: (grins) I just wanted to see the look on your face.
  Agent Brand: *Beat* *Death Glare* *punch*
  • Piece of advice, don't troll Agent Brand. It's hazardous to your health.
• In a quite similar situation on one of the Kree ships, Cap, Wasp, and Hawkeye are fighting a Kree Sentry while Black Panther calmly works at the ship's computer. After curbstomping the other Avengers, the robot sees Panther and approaches from behind, ready to blast him, but he simply types in a code and the Sentry is teleported into the sun.
  Hawkeye: What was that?!
  Panther: I teleported the Kree Sentry into the sun. Thank you for distracting it while I learned the ship's systems.
  Hawkeye: (holds his aching back) I seriously hate you.

Live Kree or Die

• After taking down an alien monster on Hala, Hawkeye comments that they should be okay after they took the first one down easily. Cue dozens of the creatures, most larger than the one they took down, rising from the ground and surrounding the team. Vision then reminds Hawkeye what he said about Tempting Fate in "Emperor Stark".
• At the end of the episode...
  Thor: Verily, for as much as I enjoy your company, friends, five-weeks journey through subspace is a very long time. Especially when forced to endure Hawkeye's complaints.
  Hawkeye: Hey!

Avengers Assemble

• As Terrax attacks New York, Iron Man questions why his tower is always the first target when things like this happen.
• Yellowjacket, Mr. Fantastic, Doc Samson, Iron Man, and Ms. Marvel head to one of Galactus' ships, with Mr. Fantastic mentioning that they need to approach with caution. Yellowjacket proceeds to use his shrink gun to make a hole in the ship for them to enter through.
  Yellowjacket: What's Galactus gonna do, eat us more?
• Poor Johnny Storm got put on the team that fought Stardust, the water-elemental herald.
  Human Torch: Why did I have to be on the water team? I hate water!
• Spider-Man's banter towards Terrax.
  Spidey: 'Scuse me, but you've got a little something on your face!
  (shoots webbing into Terrax's face)
  Spidey: Although frankly, it's an improvement!

Misc

• There's a Running Gag in several episodes, starting in "Some Assembly Required", where Hulk keeps smashing through the gates/doors/walls/ceilings of the Avengers Mansion (even when there's an easier way through), always to Tony's chagrin.
  Iron Man: Why would you do that? The doors open automatically!
• The In-Character Commentaries on one of the DVDs contains at least a few.
  Tony: Oh, look. Me with a robot face. Still handsome.
  • When Steve has to type in his password at the beginning of the extra, he types in seven characters, causing some fans to guess his password as "America".
  • Hulk claims that the battle against Galactus could have gotten resolved more quickly if the team just asked him to smash Galactus. This leads to Hulk fighting Thor and Iron Man, and during the fight, they break the computer (IE, the screen the audience is watching) and cause it to reboot.

From the comics:

The Limited Series

• From "Trust", after Hawkeye and Black Panther have taken down Whiplash when Panther jumped him in the dark, he mentions his suit lets him see in the dark. Hawkeye responds typically with, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?!?" Panther's response: "I trusted you already knew."
• When Janet fails to gather her teammates for a group picture during the start of the tie-in comic "Team", Tony probably takes the cake when he tells Jan to Photoshop him into the picture so he could continue working.

Marvel Universe

• Black Panther quipping in "Enter the Mandarin" that the animosity between Mandarin and Tony Stark confirms that each continent has someone who hates him.
• After Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor capture Grey Gargoyle, Cap assures Thor that a Midgard prison could hold him as well as an Asgard dungeon can.
  Captain America: He's already caused too much trouble here. And as much as the Gargoyle wanted to be immortal, he's just a man.
  Iron Man: A man who loves crepes.
  Grey Gargoyle: Very funny, Stark. (softly) I do love crepes.
• Both sides of Gemini contradict each other whenever they talk in "Did You Hear the One About Scorpio?" Eventually, Wasp demands in vain for Gemini to make up his mind.
• Hawkeye dismissing the backstory of King Solomon's Frogs:
  Panther: (paraphrased) The origins of the golden frogs are shrouded in mystery...They were given to King Solomon over 3000 years ago as a gift...The frogs were stolen by Aladdin himself, and are even said to be responsible for the Loch Ness Monster in Scotland.
  Hawkeye: ENOUGH! Look, Panther...if you don't know what these things are, just say so. You don't have to make things up.
• The Vision becomes a Mr. Exposition/Captain Obvious in "The Serpent Crown", constantly annoying the other Avengers.
  • Ms. Marvel later threatens one of the Serpent Society members that she can release him from custody, then beat him back into custody. The Vision then tries to tell her, "That does not make sense."
• "They Came From Inner Space!" ends with Wasp remembering that she had enough extra Pym Particles to shrink Iron Man and Captain America, but not to change them back to normal size afterward.
  Iron Man: ...Aaaaaaand you're fired.