Funny / The Adventure Zone: Amnesty

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Arc 1: The Beast

Episode 1

• When he encounters the abomination for the first time, Duck slowly raises his gun up at the beast...and then throws the weapon at it before fleeing into the woods.

Episode 2

• In order to drum up business for his "museum", Ned goes out into the woods to fake a Bigfoot sighting. At the end of the episode, It turns out the guy he ran into out in the woods is Bigfoot.

Episode 3

• When he hears that Vincent is a goat-man, Clint immediately cries out "It's Pan!"
• As soon as Mama stresses to Aubrey and Ned that too many outsiders are discovering the gate and there can't be any more incidents like this, Duck gets shoved through it from the other side and she almost loses it.
• Once Ned shows up on the scene, this plumb bit of dialogue:
  Mama: So, Barclay, what are you doing out in the woods with Ned Fuckin' Chicane?
  Ned: How did you know my middle name?
  • Ned's middle name becomes a minor Running Gag. When being grilled about his inability to keep his lips sealed about monsters, he gets upgraded to "Ned Fuckin' Discretion Chicane".
• Duck gives his explanation for having passed through the gate as "being chased by a spooky bear".

Episode 4

• At one point Clint starts to write a letter to his landlord, and addresses him as "Mr. Garfield"; Griffin immediately cuts him off, claiming that only the GM has power over the Garfield cameo.

Episode 5

• One of the items in the Chicanery is an Oscar, which Ned apparently stole from George Clooney; we don't find out what exactly the story there is, other than the fact that he thought it would be cool to steal something from Danny Ocean. Also made funnier by the fact that Clint was ready to just blow on past that, but Griffin stopped him and insisted he elaborate a little more.
  Griffin: [cracking up] NED STOLE A FUCKING OSCAR?!
• Literally everything involving Beacon, Duck Newton's talking sword, mainly due to the comically deep voice Justin gives it. As Beacon and Duck have their first conversation, you can hear Griffin practically dying of laughter in the background.
  • Beacon's a tad bitter about being left in a case for twenty years. Just a tad.
    Beacon: Have you had a fun twenty years, Duck? I could sum up—
    Duck: [sigh] I know, man. I know you've been—
    Beacon: I could sum up my time if you like. Let me summarize. A man comes in the room. He lays some trash on the ground. He leaves. That happened a thousand times, Duck. Who's your friend, Duck?
    Griffin: ...Can Ned hear this voice?
    Justin: [out of character] Yup! 'Cause there’s a mouth.
    Griffin: [laughing] Oh, god!
    Ned: I am... totally blown away. You’re a ventriloquist, Duck! I did not know that!
    Beacon: This. Is. No. Parlor trick... beast. Imagine my surprise, I almost didn’t recognize you without a can of soda and a magazine. My name... is Beacon. I am the light that stands at the edge of the darkness, I am the tower above the fog, I am the most beautiful, terrible weapon ever crafted, and I have spent the last twenty years in a flea market! And hhhhhhhhow are you?
    [Beat].
    Ned: You’re also a bit of a prick.
  • The fact that Beacon's voice sounds like the lovechild of Tim Curry and Vincent Price.
  • Clint, perhaps knowing Justin a little too well, has Ned ask Duck if Beacon "speaks with an annoying voice or something" the moment Duck claims he had a good reason for stowing Beacon, before Beacon's said a damn word.

Arc 2: The Water

Episode 6

• Griffin apologizing near the start for getting his wildlife mixed up and treating a bobcat as seriously as a mountain lion.
• During a catch-up scene when Minerva visits Duck to check up on his training and ask what he's learned, Duck jumps up and does a little kick in the air, then asks, "Is that anything?"
• Ned's catch-up scene involves setting up a shoot for a monster movie horror-host style show; he's interrupted at one point by Aubrey shouting "Hey, Ned, where do you want the candelabras?"

Episode 7

• When Travis rolls to try and empty the pool, we get this gem:
  Justin: Can I just— I just wanna drill down for a sec. This is the moment in the episode and in this arc where Travis is making a combat roll against some elderly, wet senior citizens.
• Ned performing a 'Phoon ^note Described by Clint as a jackknife dive where you don't unfold on The Water. Also counts as a Moment of Awesome. Take note that this was immediately after Griffin tells them the most dangerous thing they could possibly do was fall into the water.
  Aubrey: [awed] The perfect ‘Phoon…
  Duck: I’ve always heard tale of it, but I never thought I’d see it with my own eyes.
  Aubrey: This is exactly how he would want to die.
  • Despite rolling a success to execute the 'Phoon, Clint tells Griffin that Ned should probably take some harm, saying that it isn't truly a good 'Phoon if it doesn't hurt.
  • Justin describes a 'Phoon as "the least pleasing way to enter a body of water," while Travis describes it as, "not just punishment for everyone else in the pool, but also penance for something horrible you've done."

Episode 8

• The brief discussion on killing love.
  Duck: I mean, I'll fuckin' stab love, I don't care, I'll try.
• Barclay's contribution to the fight against The Water: throwing a bucket at it.
• Duck's half-hearted rendition of the Victory Fanfare after successfully chasing off The Water.
  • Followed by the revelation of what Beacon was thinking while it and Duck were inside The Water.
  Beacon: It is a shame, though. While floating in the water I was so assured of Duck Newton's destruction, I had begun fantasising about my next owner. Would they be exciting? Willing to take adventures? So many possibilities awaited me while I had a pleasant daydream in the water, but I was very...happy...to see you survive, Duck Newton.
• Aubrey's shenanigans with Moira, including poking her hand through Moira and trying to reenact the soul-punching scene in Doctor Strange.
• The introduction of the Enchanter, an ancient creature with vast magical power who makes deals with those who would seek his work, trading creations for valuable Earth items. He's also a giant cat. Sound familiar?
  The Enchanter: I suppose introductions are in order. The people of this world know me as The Enchanter, master artisan of the arcane. You may call me by my name. I... am Heathcliff.

Episode 9

• The whole scene with the Enchanter, but particularly Ned and Duck's chosen items—respectively an enchanted NARF blaster and a magical jet pack. Made even better by the fact that Duck is terrified of it afterwards.
• When the Enchanter is revealed to be a giant fluffy cat, Aubrey is so overwhelmed by the Cuteness Proximity that she can't even concentrate:
  Aubrey: Fluffy...
  Heathcliff: Yes. Yes, I'm a cat.
  Aubrey: Fluffy! ::Squee::
  Heathcliff: Yes...no, you can't pet me.
  Aubrey: Such a good kitty.
  Heathcliff: No. No you cannot pet me. I just met you.
• Woodbridge, the Sylvan Minister for Preservation, constantly calls for "SILENCE!" as they're waiting for the Interpreter. Absolutely nobody in the trio respects it.
• Aubrey fails her Use Magic roll while trying to demonstrate her powers and accidentally incinerates the magical tome Janelle is reading that contains a spell that could possibly cure every known disease. Understandably, Aubrey is mortified.
• "Tell me, is patience one of your more valued virt—" "YES."
• The revelation that Tommy Wiseau is an exiled mummy-man from Sylvain. It explains a lot.

Episode 10

• Barclay asks the team whether they have any ideas of where to fight the water monster. Duck tells them that he wrote a list of ideas, but he’d “rather not read them”:
  Ned: Well, I’ll read ‘em if you want!
  Duck: Ah, crap.
  Ned: Let me have the paper, Duck, and I’ll read them for you so you’re not ashamed. Ah, let’s see, first— [Griffin starts laughing] Uh, is that the first— this is the first? Are these
  Duck: I don’t—
  Ned: A big desert!
  [...]
  Ned: You have a back up to the big desert plan: a dehumidifier store!
  Duck (incredibly embarrassed): Okay, listen, I don’t even know if that exists. I was— it was pretty late, when I was cooking these up, ok? And I— I honestly lost the plot pretty quickly after that, I don’t even remember what the third one I wrote was.
  Ned: Uhh, sure! Big lake! Hmm!
  • The trio and Barclay immediately start discussing the merits of fighting the water monster inside a dehumidifier store, including Griffin inventing one on the spot, and turning it down because ''dehumidifiers are expensive to replace.''
• The revelation that the sleepy town of Kepler once called itself the "Slippery City" because it had the highest number of water parks per capita in the state of West Virginia, and the ever-increasing list of ridiculous (and now entirely canon) names.
  • In order: the Chute and Scoot, Wet Willy's, the Slurp and Squirt (now closed for health code violations), Slides n' Stuff, Slides and Stuff, Kevin Costner Presents: Waterworld: the Wet Park, WTR, and H2Whoa: That Was Fun.
  Griffin: (in disbelief) The Slurp and Squirt?!
• Mr. Slooper, the Snooper Super. Whose favourite movie is... Without a Paddle.
• When discussing whether to bring Calvin along, since he’s seen a lot:
  Ned: I have an idea!
  Aubrey (worried) Don’t kill him.
  Ned: All right, then I have another idea!
• Duck's absolutely horrid lie to get Pigeon to shut off the water to H2Whoa that involves him claiming to be hydrophobic and wanting to practice his casting in still waters with no fish.
  Griffin: I'm gonna make you take a minus one forward on this one, because me, as the Keeper, have decided this is the wor— in the almost four years we've been doing “The Adventure Zone”, the worst lie I've ever, ever heard.
  Travis: But not only worst, but worst, most elaborate lie.

Episode 11

• "Duck Newton... this is going to go poorly."
• Immediately following the above, after Duck is knocked out cold and almost drowns, Aubrey fortunately manages to rescue him... and Beacon instantly starts trying to choose her to be his new owner.
  Beacon: Congratulations, new owner! My name is Beacon. My former owner has tragically died, but fear not—
  Aubrey: Beacon, shut up!
• In the flashback to Ned and Victoria's first meeting, he tries to rob the Cryptonomica, only to find the register empty... almost.
  Victoria: As you can see, ain’t nothing green been in that register, save for a little bit of weed, for the better part of a year now.
  Ned: [excited] Ooh!
  Victoria: It’s medicinal, for my legs.
  Ned: Of course, yes, everything is medicinal.

Episode 12

• Clint's recreation of Ned's first attempt at skiing, which ended with him swearing off skiing after hitting the back of his head on the ski lift on the way down.
  Ned: Uh, I'm not sure about this—heh, oh well! So what, do I just plant my feet? Okay. Wait, wait, whoa— [BOOM] Shit!
  (Ned is played off by Griffin making a crude, vocal rendition of the CurbYourEnthusiasm theme.)
• The sheer amount of times French onion soup is talked about in a single episode.
  Justin: I love you all dearly, very much, as my family. I would bury a bowie knife in any of your chests to eat French Onion soup this exact second.

Arc 3: The Calamity Tree

Episode 13

• "I think it'll cheer him up to see a place where a man recently died."
  • "Well look at the way he leads his life, I mean, he's reckless and he doesn't care. He needs to have an appreciation of death."
• The boys insistence that Champion's Seed, one of the items on Heathcliff's retrieval list, refers to Michael Jordan's semen aka. "Michael's Secret Stuff".
  • Later on, after they run into a mysterious robed figure in the middle of the road:
  Clint: I can tell you who [the robed figure] was. It was MICHAEL JORDAN!
  Everyone: [shocked gasps]
  Travis: Hurry, masturbate him!

Episode 14

• Ned attempts to "Jet pack into the mother fucking sign"
  Duck : "Oh! Oh! Reach for the handles there, do you see the tubes?"
  Ned : "Oh! Yeah! Oh those are nice, contoured to fit my hands! And there's a red button that— ARRRRGGGGHHHH!"
  (Ned's screams fade into the distance as he's blasted off).
  • The table then almost immediately dismisses Ned for dead.
• Duck's super convincing lie to the paramedics.
  Duck: "Um… oh boy… do you want the truth or a more convincing lie? Um, so, okay… so the Pizza Hut sign started to fall, ‘cause of the weather, and he ran up there on… a fire escape… and tried to push it? …With a bat? Damn it. Nah, he just pushed it, and it fell, and then he fell ‘cause he got shocked. I bet… I didn’t see. Ah, shit! Alright, hey guys, rewind. I was inside, I didn’t see anything! I don’t know… this man. I do know this man. Fuck! Alright, so this man’s name is Ned, and he’s a friend of mine, and I don’t know what the hell happened to him, but you know this guy. He’s always getting into something. I don’t know, I was in the building, I almost got killed by a Pizza Hut sign. I might be in shock!"
• Travis's hostile response to Clint asking whether or not Ned would hear Aubrey's conversation with Mama.
  Travis: "Maybe he will and you’ll see if that comes up, maybe that’s why you’re in the fucking room, Clinton!"
  Clint: "I’m really into character!"
  Travis: "Write the fucking story with me! We are New York Times bestselling authors!"

Episode 15

• When Aubrey tries to get Duck to do something under the reasoning that he's an authority figure, he replies that being a forest ranger basically just makes him "a forest elf with a flashlight." Aubrey reasons that he's still more influential then herself or Ned because neither of them have flashlights.

Episode 16

• Griffin briefly praises himself as a master wordsmith for describing the state of the wrecked car as looking like "a soda can a horse stepped on."
• In a darkly comedic way, the Mood Whiplash when Clint and Griffin develop Ned's backstory. Clint suggests Ned wanted to be a sort of Robin Hood figure by stealing from people who deserved it, only for Griffin to point out Ned's established as being the one who broke into Aubrey's home and stealing an Oscar from George Clooney.
• Ned and Boyd's first meeting. They run into each other while both committing robberies and try to claim to be exterminators.
• Justin shuts down Clint's attempt to make the goatman into Pan as a crossover, all while still using Duck's voice.

Episode 17

• The very first thing that happens in the episode is Travis asking if hearing a goatman talk for the first time had any "erotic awakenings" for anyone.
• Justin's improvised Destiny rap.
• An offhand comment about their hatred of the Poor Communication Kills trope spirals off into how Arrow is the dominant media work in the setting, both in and out of character.
  Aubrey: How come we haven't all talked about our Arrow fandom yet?
  Griffin: Arrow is truth! Freedom is Arrow!
  Justin: The afterlife is divided into Heaven and the Speed Force.
• How do the gang sneak the goatman out of Amnesty Lodge and into town without anyone being suspicious? They dress him up like Krampus.
• When Duck goes to tie the wristwatch onto Billy, there's confusion about whether goats have wrists or not. Griffin makes the mistake of googling goat anatomy to figure that out.
• Griffin allows Justin to decide what Billy's human form will look like. Justin decides he looks like Ryan Gosling. Many, many puns involving Ryan Gosling and goats ensue.

Episode 19

• Ned stashes Billy at the Cryptonomica, with the excuse to Kirby that it was really Ryan Gosling who had gotten hit over the head and could only say "pizza" and "duck."
  • Later they swing by to tell Kirby to show him one of his own movies.
  • They also give him $20 for pizza, which leads to them trying to figure out how he would order pizza with a vocabulary of three words.
  Pizza Guy: Uh, hello, this is Dominos.
  Billy: Pizza!
  Pizza Guy: Okay, good. What kind of—
  Billy: Duck!
  Pizza Guy: You want duck pizza? That’s foul, no way, we don’t sell that.
  Billy: Pizza!
• The first words Duck ever hears from Beacon:
  "Minerva, instruct this beef boy to unhand me please."
• Ned's life is saved when the jetpack that flew off into the distance in episode 14 comes back and hits a goatman, apparently having been flying around at random through the forest for the past two days.

Episode 20

• Near the beginning of the episode, a semi-joking piece of connective tissue between Balance and Amnesty is established. One Clint McElroy was once frozen in a block of ice at the local car dealership as a publicity stunt, and it's the same one that was a janitor in a completely different reality in Balance.
• Ned acquires a new vehicle: an old crepes truck he revamps into a giant advertisement for the Cryptonomicon.
• Griffin initially tried explaining Boyd's British accent away (like he did with Kravitz in Balance) by saying suggesting Boyd's time in jail changed his voice. He ends up committing to the accent anyway.
• Duck's various freak outs throughout the episode after losing his powers:
  Duck: Shut up! Hey! You two! Pipe down, alright! Yuck it up! I'm glad you all are still fuckin' X-Men! I'm just a regular dipshit, and I need a fuckin' helmet!
  • Duck asks for a skateboard helmet since he can't run to work without getting tired anymore. When Ned responds incredulously, Duck peevishly points out Ned can't run 8 blocks without getting tired.

Arc 4: The Shapeshifter

Episode 21

• Aubrey names her flying knife "Snitch", except horribly misspelled as "Snnnnieytch".
• Clint briefly becomes a flat earther.
• "The Wet Bandits: Christmas Time Robbers for Vacant Homes."
• "Going to Chicago" becomes an idiom and is immediately overused.
• The group lampshades how long Agent Stern had been at the Amnesty Lodge and asks how Stern can stay there for six months. Griffin explains this is likely more of a personal project for Stern, leading to the rest to joke about whether Stern has a Patreon to fund his hunt for Big Foot.

Episode 22

• Aubrey averts Nobody Poops again by saying she has to go the bathroom, reminding all the other characters that apparently none of them have gone the bathroom for several months.
• The elaborate series of lies the party tells to try and get into the morgue, ranging from trying to identify the bodies of Aubrey's brother, Duck's dad, and Ned's son all at once, to seeing a dead body for a dare. It's to the point that Duck actually pitches in and protests that it's his thing to be bad at lying.
• Ned pulling out a ouija board that he stole from Theresa Caputo, and attempting to communicate with the dead Hornets in the middle of a morgue and also using one of the corpses as a table. Needless to say, the brothers' incredulous reaction is well-deserved.

Episode 23

• Ned's immediate reaction to the Abomination's appearance after finding out it was impersonating one of its victims? He threatens the corpse of its victim and say he'll kill its twin brother.
• When trying to escape the Abomination in the morgue, the party has to get the key card to unlock the door. Said key card is in the Abomination's possession, half merged into its body due to its shapeshifting... and is sticking out of its ass. Many jokes ensue, especially because the Abomination happens to be bent over a doctor's table at the time.
• "Imagine if Kool-Aid man was a being of pure light."
• Aubrey's attempt at Something Only They Would Say is to tell Duck about the time last week where he told her about the time he shit his pants in high school. Duck argues against this counting, as apparently he's told everyone this story and just looking at him would make it clear he probably shit his pants many times. So then Aubrey brings up the time he shit his pants at the DMV...
• Aubrey's cover story for the fight in the morgue is to tell the Sherriff that she's a federal agent, and says Agent Stern is her partner.

Episode 25

• Justin gets Griffin to voice the text-to-speech program for the document the Pine Guard wrote for the shapeshifter, then messes with him by changing the accent settings. Griffin gets back at him by reading off a long string of juvenile words, prompting Duck to make a number of excuses for why that's in their important document.
• In the wise words of Aubrey, "more people, more poking!"

Episode 28

• This exchange after Aubrey charges the Sylvain crystal:
  Vincent: [in awe] What are you?
  Aubrey: Oh, I'm bisexual.
  Vincent: Do all bisexuals have this power?
  Aubrey: Yes.
  • And the episode was released in Pride Month, no less!
• Duck's comment upon Being reunited with Minerva.
  Duck: D'you see Endgame?

Arc 5: The Finale

Episode 30

• The extended exchange in Duck's apartment involving waffles while Minerva and Leo are trying to discuss the latest dream visions.
  Aubrey: [in the distance] Hey, Duck!
  Duck: Yeah, Aubrey?
  Aubrey: Can I have the last waffle?
  Duck: They're not vegan.
  Aubrey: ...I'm not— Duck, I'm not a vegan!
  Duck: What's the difference again?
  Aubrey: ...I'm gonna eat the waffle, okay?
  Duck: Alright.
  Minerva: So we should probably rendezvous? With the troops?
  Duck: Did you— Have you tried the waffle— Yes. Have you tried waffles yet, since you've been over?
  Minerva: I have not! Are those the divoted breads?
  Duck: Yeah, they're like divoted breads that gives ya lots of nooks and crannies for syrup.
  Leo: [from outside] Did y'all just have that vision? About the teeth and the explosions?
  Duck: Leo, I hope you're not here for waffles, cause Aubrey's coiffing the last one.
  Aubrey: [still in the distance] I can split it!
  Leo: Yeah, I guess that's better than nothing!
  Duck: Leo, they're not vegan.
  Leo: Aw, damn it!

Episode 31

• Aubrey persuades Sheriff Owens to help them out by listing all the people involved. He runs the gamut from derision (to the Hornets) to freaking out (to Barclay being Big Foot and the Mothman existing).
• Justin's determination to see the local overly affectionate rich people Muffy and Winthrop is confusing until Duck accuses them of poaching endangered animals, much to the audience and Griffin's surprise. Then Griffin recovers quickly, and proceeds to take it two steps further by adding on that they are part of a secret society complete with Latin whispering and signet rings.
  Duck: [in reference to their poaching] I'm willing to turn a blind eye, and in exchange—I'm offering you, and all your garbage friends, a chance at the greatest hunt of all.
  Muffy and Winthrop, in unison: Man?
  • An additional hilarious bit comes up when Winthrop is on the phone with the secret society.
  Griffin/Winthrop: ... And then you hear him speaking in Latin for several minutes, and then he pulls his ear away from the receiver and mouths, "What time?"
  Duck: I mean, it's gonna kick off at 9:30, but if they can get there a few minutes early—
  Winthrop: We'll say 9:15, that way they'll actually be there at 9:30. [Goes back to speaking Latin into the phone]

Episode 32

• Leo offers Duck a Slim Jim, saying those are Duck's favorite. Justin does not agree.
  Justin: I could roleplay a gay elf with magical powers, I don't think I can roleplay someone who likes beef jerky.

Episode 34

• Yet another instance of Griffin forgetting the party has armor. His complete lack of tone in his reaction when he corrects himself is what sells it.
  Griffin: Duck, you take two harm. [Beat as he remembers he has 2 armor] But you don't.
• Barcley's heroic sacrifice by sitting on a box full of centipede goo.
• The rapid change in tone between Beacon's one-liners.
  Beacon: [wrapped around a monster's leg] Have a nice trip. [trips it] Eat my whole ass.
• A Brick Joke from Episode 32, Duck offers Vincent a Slim Jim. Griffin wastes no time on absolutely dragging the snack, culminating with Vincent actually taking a bite only to spit it out. The rest of the group agrees that that's how you normally eat them.

Episode 35

• Aubrey briefly leaves the group to commune with Sylvain. Duck and Thacker entertain themselves by telling riddles to Alexandra. When Aubrey returns, Justin segues into a rant about how "hard" the answer was for them.
• While it happens during the tensest scene in the entire episode, Duck explaining what C4 is to Vincent is still hilarious.
  Duck: Boom... block. C'mon, C4! Bomb, explode, boom! Boom, boom!

Episode 36

• Both Minerva and Beacon insist on referring to Duck as Wayne after his Given Name Reveal at the end of the last episode.
• When Clint gets a roll that results in "making contact with an entity," both Justin and Travis immediately call out Griffin for being excited at the chance to hurt their dad.
• When they come across one of the four-armed creatures made of light, Thacker suggests they give it a "high-twenty".
  Griffin: Aw, yeah! That's that primo uncut dad shit right there!
• The casual way Duck drops "Honey" to refer to Minerva. There's beat of realization before Griffin starts asking how it happened. Even better, Justin has a speech prepared to sell Griffin on the idea of Duck/Minerva.

Live Shows

The Ballad of Bigfoot: An Amnesty Story

• Just the fact that the game system used for this live-show is called "Oh Dang! Bigfoot Stole My Car With My Friend's Birthday Present Inside."
• For the one-shot, Griffin plays perhaps the most inherently amusing character ever played on the podcast: himself at age 11. Naturally, his brothers and dad take every opportunity to dunk on him.
  • Character!Griffin's traits are "athletic" and "smooth," explained as this being the universe where he made the middleschool basketball team. Clint immediately resounds to this revelation that in this universe, his dad is probably proud of him.
  • When someone mentions that Character!Griffin's dad would be concerned about him, Clint immediately responds with skepticism until Justin reminds him that this version of Griffin is a jock.
• The story kicks off with Bigfoot, better known to the Amnesty audience as Barclay, stopping Character!Griffin and Stephanie to take their car. Griffin initially dissuades him with powerful karate, to which Barclay responds by pulling a gun. Naturally, no one, least of all Griffin, lets go of the fact for the rest of the show that Bigfoot held an 11-year-old at gunpoint.
• Cool 11-year old Griffin playing a gas station cashier in one-on-one basketball to get a tank of gas.
• The return of Clint McElroy, the embezzling janitor, who is confirmed to be an alternate version of Clint McElroy the radio host and Adventure Zone player.
• Cool 11 year old Griffin possibly turning into a car after drinking a mixture of gasoline and Surge that he calls 'turbojuice.'
  Griffin: VROOOOOOM
• The epilogue scenes: Barclay recounting his story to the people at the Lodge, Griffin and Stephanie at the birthday party, and Chas returning to his limo service with an incredible story and he's promptly fired.