Funny / The Abridging of Haruhi Suzumiya

• A couple wonderful ones in episode 2.
  • As seen here:
  Haruhi: Ya-hoo-oo!
  Kyon: *thinking* What the hell was that?!
  • And then later...
  Haruhi: *walks in* *bleep** bleep** bleep** bleep** bleep** bleep** bleep** bleep** bleep** bleep** bleep** bleep*
  Kyon: So I'm guessing it didn't go out too well?
• From Episode 3:
  • Haruhi has the SOS Brigade draw straws to decide pairing assignments in hopes of pairing up with Kyon, except he ends up with Asuhina instead. Cue the following verbal exchange:
  Kyon: (happy thought) "Sweet! I have a date with Ms. Asuhina!"
  Haruhi: (clearly jealous) "This is not a date, Kyon."
  Kyon: (still thinking) "Aww, are you jealous?"
  Haruhi: (dramatic finger point) "I'M. NOT. JEALOUS! I'm not threatened by her looks compared to mine!"
  • The final scene, when Koizumi's explains Haruhi and her powers to Kyon, delivered in surfer dude fashion. Naturally, Kyon thinks Koizumi's gotta be on drugs.
  Itsuki: Anyway dude, let me sum it all up for you: I am one of many in a group of espers that believes Miss Suzumiya is God. We are under the impression that what she says and does affects how this world is built, and that just her being bored of this world can wipe out our very existence.
  Kyon: ...You're high, aren't you?
  Itsuki: What are you talking about, giant talking cupcake?
• Episode 7: Kyon calling Haruhi a James Bond villain, cut to Haruhi staring at another character and calling it a ridiculous idea.
  • Itsuki being called out on being an Extreme Doormat to Haruhi
  Itsuki: As usual, I completely agree with Haruhi and have no opinion of my own.
  Kyon: You have issues, man.
  Itsuki: Hail Haruhi, motherfucker.
• Scary Black Man!Yuki. Full stop.