Team Neighborhood / Funny

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/i_built_that_9.jpg

"I built that." ^note

Team Neighborhood asks the question, "What do the Team Fortress 2 mercs do outside of battling over gravel pits?", and answers it in a Slice of Life fashion. Naturally, you can expect a good amount of hilarity.

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Pre-Series

HEAVY'S QUEST: Adventures in Video Games n' Shit

Desperate to give the RED Engineer a Christmas gift, the RED Heavy makes a gaming console out of a teleporter. Thanks to the BLU Spy's sabotage, he ends up on a journey through various video game worlds to get back home.

When the Heavy lands in an FPS world, an army general forces him to fight by his side. He first tasks Heavy with taking on the enemy forces en masse... Then, he suddenly sends Heavy off to fulfill mundane tasks in his stead, like repairing his car, picking up his groceries, picking up his kids from school, etc.
In the fantasy game world, Heavy opts to grind by killing infinitely respawning chickens who just walk into his punches.
When the RED Spy figures out what happened to the Heavy, he collaborates with the Engineer to repair the video game console to hopefully get Heavy back. During the process, he experiences quite a few brutal injuries, to which the Medic hurries to patch him up. After a while, the Medic starts looking very eager for whatever mishap comes next.
During the stealth game segment, the Heavy overhears a conversation between two guards:
[Outside a jet hangar door, two guards are posted. To the left is an overturned box that seemingly contains the spying Heavy.]
Guard: Man, I tell ya. I sure hope nobody figures out the secret passcode to the jet hangar. Made sure it’s my lucky number: 1338. Now...
[The guard suddenly leans in closely towards the box, as if he's addressing someone inside.]
Guard: ...Remember: that’s 1338 to get into the hangar. I really hope no one eavesdrops on this conversation and picks up on this relevant information.
[As the guard expresses his concerns, the camera pans right to a barrel – where the Heavy is truly hiding. He sneaks off to try out the code he overheard.]
- The Heavy finds the keypad to unlock the door and tries entering the code. However, his fingers are much too large for the buttons, so he ends up inputting the wrong four-digit code with a single press. He just kicks the door down and manages to steal the plane anyway.

Kitty0706's Moments with Heavy - Movie Night (A Kitty0706 Tribute)

In a tribute to kitty0706, BLU Heavy has to do his chores and pick up some DVDs for movie night.

Apparently the party last night was so wild that a room has been turned upside down, literally.
Heavy pours himself a bowl of cereal...which explodes in his face. Might have been the fact that he poured the milk and cereal at the same time.
In his zeal to clean the place, Heavy unknowingly sweeps the Scout up into the garbage.
BLU Heavy tries to enter the basement and proceeds to slip on the first step and roll all the way down.
In the dark basement, Heavy switches his flashlight on, only to find a monster in the dark. After Heavy gives the camera a worried look, the monster blows out Heavy's flashlight as if it was an old fashioned lantern and beats him senseless.
BLU Heavy finds the house's Reset Button and has some struggle trying to press it before successfully doing it. It saves him the trouble of doing the rest of the chores...and could've saved him the trouble of doing the chores altogether.
Among the shelves at Lackluster Video are titles such as Jews, Freddy’s Holiday, AFK, The Completely Visible Man, Connect Four, Park, The Fresh Prince of Persia, Matrix vs. Matrix, Raping Bull (which has the poster image plastered with "CENSORED" labels), A Lime, The Incredible Un-Circumsized Man, Twizzler, and White People Solve Racism.
BLU Heavy goes to pay for the movies, but then Ratchet (who is the cashier) pulls up his account and sees that Heavy has overdue fees in excess of 400,000 dollars. Cue Ratchet whipping out a rocket launcher.
"WHERE'S MY MONEY, BITCH?!?!"

Soldier Makes a Video

The BLU Soldier gets into a flame war after somebody dislikes a video he uploads.

Rather than using YouTube, the BLU Soldier posts his video on the BLU Team equivalent: BluTube. It's likely because YouTube prominently uses RED colors.
In a lengthy sequence, the BLU Soldier travels the earth to punish the BLU Scout who trashed his video. Satisfied, the Soldier returns to his bedroom — which neighbors Scout's room in that very same hall. He circumnavigated the globe right back to his home to beat up his housemate.
- Said sequence takes the form of an Indiana Jones red-line journey, in which basically all of the country labels are wrong.
  - His first leg goes west from the United States, over a tear in the map to end up in South America Somehow, where his first stop is "You Are Homosexual".^{The Joke}Uruguay.
  - Elsewhere in South America, Venezuela is labeled as Venice and Guyana, Suriname, and French Guiana are respectively labeled as Moe, Larry and Curly.
  - Australia and Austria have their labels swapped.
  - Japan is labelled as Animeland and the line just curves away from there.
  - There are many labels complaining about how big Russia is, with one asking "Damn, what was Napoleon and Hitler thinking invading this?"
  - Afghanistan is labelled as "U.S. Army's Summer Home".
  - One stopping point is at the border between Iraq and A Hard Place.
  - Saudi Arabia, Tunisa and much of northern Africa in general is labelled as "Sand", "Sand II", and "More Fucking Sand".
  - Hungary is labelled as "Should be 'Starving' by now".
  - Germany is simply labeled as "Medics", and France is similarly labeled as "Spies".
  - The "Sorta United States" meanwhile comprises of "Kentuckistan", "Geriatric Asylum" (Florida), "The Confederation of Detroit", and "Texas 2" which is mostly in Canada.

TF2: The Loneliest Medic

The RED Medic pines for Heavy while he is away.

Medic sets up his piano in the bathroom. The Spy, equipped with a newspaper, sees this and makes an immediate 180 turn to go find a different bathroom.
The ending reveals that the music is all in Medic's head; he's really just randomly mashing keys.
Sniper: "Bloody 'ell, you're awful."
When the Medic happily reunites with the Heavy, who was out shopping, this line makes the whole video even funnier:
RED Heavy: "I was only gone for hour!"

Main Series

Episode 1: The Grill.

A fifteen-minute long video of Rapid-Fire Comedy, done in the style of a professional cartoon, with the humor and animation of a Garry's Mod/Source Filmmaker hybrid. The RED Engineer and Medic decide to build a grill, with violent results.

The hallucination Medic has to inspire him to build a grill. It encapsulates the stresses he faces on the battlefield while kick-starting a Running Gag for the series.
- Also, the scene after Medic wakes up. After waking up on the roof, he goes inside the house, only to find that he's somehow ended up in the BLU Team's house, where he finds the BLU Team watching their Spy dance on a stripper pole. And when they find out RED Medic's there, BLU is more than happy to throw him back to the RED house.
Medic shares his idea for building a grill with the Engineer. As in Medic lands in the RED basement after being sent flying, wakes up a sleeping Engineer with a frying pan, and Engie is so mad he slaps angry eyes onto his goggles!
After the Medic shares his idea with the Engineer, they share an incredibly long Hard-Work Montage that culminates in a mistakenly-built toaster. Neither notices this until the very end, upon which the sequence restarts in fast-forward until they've built the grill properly.
The barbecue is interrupted when the grill suddenly shuts off. Rather than analyze it, the frustrated Engineer tries to kick the grill to reactivate it. This provokes the grill to transform into a giant robot. This doesn't register with the Engineer; without bothering to look up at the monstrosity before him, he kicks it again and gets launched across the street in retaliation.
RED fires all of their weapons at the robot, except Soldier, who ineffectively throws his shovel at it.
After the fight starts, Scout just stands in one place doing absolutely nothing, not even reacting to Medic falling at his feet and yelling "I toiled in God's domain!" or Soldier running by on fire.
When the Civilian shows up and asks what happened to his car, the whole fight stops while everyone, including the Grill robot, stops fighting. And the whole fight only resumes when the Civilian casually asks, "You grillin'?" as if nothing unusual was going on at all!
Partway through the battle, Soldier goes to replace his shovel. Going into the garage, he takes his sweet time choosing between four other shovels, all of which look identical to each other and his original shovel.
RED Soldier attempts to enlist BLU Soldier's help in fighting the grillbot. BLU Soldier is too busy filming himself on the toilet masturbating, and replies with a flat "No". The grillbot then launches a bottle of flaming hot sauce in RED Soldier's direction, and his face is priceless.
Engineer being launched into BLU Heavy's window.
Heavy: The burning you feel? It is shame.
Engineer: Fuck you—
[Heavy immediately punches Engineer back to the robot]
The robot ends up stomping RED Soldier all the way to Japan. When he returns, he's decked out in samurai gear and rattles off a threat in nonsense Japanese (translated into Spanish by the subtitles) before immediately getting hit with a rocket.
The toaster Engie and Medic built earlier ends up saving them, taking the form of an even larger robot with the same tiny toaster for a head.
- Its ultimate attack is heralded with "LAUNCH TOAST" as it charges up with a dramatic effect. Its attack is just that: the tiny toaster head launches two pieces of toasted bread that harmlessly bounce off the grill robot's shield. Until the grill robot explodes, that is.
The fact that the RED Demoman spends the entire fight passed out drunk, and every time it looks like he's about to get up, he immediately falls asleep again.
- He only gets involved at the start of the fight, firing a grenade at the grill robot. The grenade harmlessly bounces off the robot and blows up a nearby car.
- At one point, he takes a bullet to the foot. Alcohol starts pouring out of the wound.
The RED team celebrates the Grill's defeat, but then the Administrator arrives with the bill for damages and chides them. The kicker is that, after a Record Scratch, the background music switches over to Sir Topham Hatt's theme.
Well, you must be feeling proud of yourself. You shouldn't be.
The toaster robot swatting at planes at the top of a skyscraper.
Despite the celebration being interrupted, RED Engie is still dancing as if nothing had happened!
Also, right around the same time, RED Heavy returns from space in a tank only to find that the Grill's already down.

Episode 2: Cable Calamity

The BLU team loses internet and television services, so the BLU Soldier devises various plans to steal RED's cable.

First thing in the morning, the RED Team members rush to the bus using their in-game animations, while the BLU team members flail their limbs like characters in earlier Garry's Mod animations.
When the Administrator arrives to collect the teams, she takes out a pocketwatch to check that they leave right on time. Her watch is a sundial that somehow functions as a normal one.
After the buses leave we get a time-lapse montage of the neighborhood full of funny and random moments including a giant Lola Bunny in the background.
After losing the match, the RED Team members walk sullenly home while Heavy sings a rendition of the Funeral March with Medic hanging onto his back. He tries to get them to join the song and gets a collective Big "NO!".
- At the end of the line, RED Engineer still has an axe, kukri, and knife buried in his back, courtesy of the BLU Pyro, Sniper, and Spy.
To celebrate today's victory, almost everyone on BLU retreats into their rooms to jerk off. The catch is, of those who are masturbating, only the Spy and Scout are looking at porn.
- The Spy watches a traditional porno involving the BLU Scout's mother and the RED Spy. The latter disguises as his partner's child.
- The Scout browses Rule 34 for MLP porn.
  "Ohhh yeah! Rule 34, baby! Gimme dat horse ass!"
- The Engineer is looking at only mildly suggestive art^note of Rosie from The Jetsons.
- The Sniper is watching an Australian Wildlife documentary in the style of Crocodile Hunter.
- The Medic is watching musical surgery. Judging by the screaming, it's probably also torture porn.
  - A man in the video is singing Dem Dry Bones.
- The Heavy is watching a video of a sandwich being made.
As for the rest of the BLU Team:
- The Soldier was watching a trailer for Game Of Bones, which is accompanied by a goofy kazoo rendition of the parodied show's theme.
- The Demoman was watching something Scottish, complete with bagpipe music, but fell into an IV-fed booze coma.
- The Pyro was just browsing a site called Black Market Garden.
How the BLU team lost their Internet at all is worthy of a chuckle: Off in a nearby city, JC Denton is ordered to destroy the entire Internet, but because of his faulty augmented vision, he accidentally hits the button labeled Destroy Only The BLU Team's Internet instead of the button labeled Disable the Internet.
- Just the fact that the city's communications hub has a button to disable only the BLU Team's internet specifically.
When the BLU Team's Internet goes down, it was so distressing, it even woke Demoman up from his booze coma.
- Scout responded by throwing his monitor out the window.
- Soldier reacts by screaming to high Heaven.
After losing internet, BLU Soldier makes chocolate pudding to cope. Then he proceeds to snort the still hot pudding mixture like cocaine off the counter.
Medic: Soldier, vhat are you doing?
Soldier: Making Chocolate Pudding.
Medic: It's 4 o'clock in ze morning. Vhy ze fuck are you making ze Chocolate Pudding?!
Soldier: Pudding is life now.
BLU Soldier's idea of reconnaissance on the RED house involves... running across the street and peering into their window. To no one's surprise except his own, the entire RED team (minus the passed-out Demoman) sneaks up on him and kills him while he's peering in.
BLU Soldier sending a message to the rest of the team with a telegraph. Even though none of them had left the house.
- Where the messages show up is also worth a mention; the top of Scout's iPad, Medic's coffee, a handful of scrap metal Engie was tinkering with (muttering "make porn" in the process), Pyro's cereal box, one of Heavy's dumbbells, and a fax machine (which is sitting outside with Sniper and Demo for some reason).
- From the same scene, Sniper losing an archery contest to Demo, who is not only drunk off his ass, but is hitting the bullseye with bottles of scrumpy.
- Even better, the message is just a string of the words Beep and Boop.
BLU Soldier begins the team meeting by hitting Scout in the face with his shovel and giving an empowering speech about how the the BLU Team can survive without internet because they are "red-blooded American". As he lists off nonsensical "American traits", there's a corresponding hard cut to all the non-American team members. Medic even points this out.
Medic: Um, only 1 in 3 of us are American.
Heavy: Forget it, he's on a roll.
Soldier ends his opening speech by reminding the team that the country was built on only one thing: freedom, liberty, and cable TV. Cue a confused Demo counting on his fingers.
BLU Soldier spinning around the chalkboard to reveal...Medic's plan to invade France through Belgium. Once the camera pans over to Medic's seat, we see he bailed, ran up the stairs and drove off.
BLU's attempts to steal RED's cable are all hilarious:
- A passing pirate ship immediately runs over The Scout while he is crossing the street, ending his plan before it can begin.
  - In every subsequent attempt, the next teammate stops and waits for the road to be clear.
  Tank Driver: Move! Wanna take a dump!
- The Medic fares a little better. However, upon reaching RED's house, the RED Sniper frightens him away with an apple.
- The Spy bypasses the RED Sniper by tricking him into smelling a Chloroform rag. Though, calling it a trick would be overly generous:
  Spy: Does this smell like Chloroform to you?
  Sniper: *sniff* Yeah.
  - His success is immediately undone when he slips on a Jarate jar and gets soaked in it. Cue a traumatic shower.
- Heavy slaps some sense into the Medic and the two go on an Ubercharged rampage through RED Team's house. Discounting the very unfortunate Scout, the RED Team doesn't even realize the duo broke in. Or they just don’t care.... It all turns out to be fruitless when the Heavy steals only the television set without the cable hookup.
- The Pyro's attempt is the simplest. He merely knocks on RED's door and delves into a lengthy, unintelligible conversation with his RED counterpart. It looks like it’s going alright but when it ends, he's tossed back into BLU's house and catches fire. ^note
  Soldier: Well that went pear-shaped fast!
- Everything about Sniper and Demoman’s attempt deserves a mention:
  - For starters, the plan is ultimately mundane: rather than steal RED's cable, they're going to purchase a cable package legitimately. The plan's simplicity contrasts sharply with the utter chaos that ensues once they exit the house.
  - The journey starts with a bang, with the Demoman sticky jumping in the pickup truck, sending it flying into the city. His driving upon landing is just as bad; he slams into pedestrians and objects left and right.
  - All this time, Sniper has been screaming in terror, and when he looks over at his companion, he briefly hallucinates a Scottish hell. In his vision, the sky is plaid, golfers are everywhere on the streets, and the Demoman is a bagpipe-playing demon blaring "Scotland the Brave".
  - They eventually arrive at the cable company, yet they don't have the money for the (very expensive) basic cable package. The scene immediately cuts back to the BLU house with Sniper dumbstruck and Demoman sobbing away. Sniper's reaction sums things up perfectly:
  Demoman: I did what I could! *sobs*
  Sniper: What the... bloody hell just happened?!
- Soldier, frustrated with his team's incompetence makes three attempts himself at stealing RED's Cable:
  - For his first attempt, he tries to rocket-jump but abruptly explodes into Ludicrous Gibs.
  - His second attempt has him using the harmless Rocket Jumper instead of his normal Rocket Launcher, but he realizes he forgot to pack a parachute... in mid-air. After a quick, worried glance to the viewers, he comically plummets to his death, with his body stretching downwards followed by his neck and head.
  - Finally, he makes a successful Rocket Jump and has brought a B.A.S.E. Jumper to use for a parachute. Unfortunately, the wind blows him off course, and he lands in another backyard, where he gets mauled to death by "Misprogrammed Artichoke Dip." Bonus points for the barely audible "Damnit!" when Soldier realizes what's gonna happen.
After the Engineer finally uses his teleporter to successfully steal the RED Team's Cable, RED Heavy catches sight of him and is not amused. As the BLU Engineer flees he is chased back across the street, while Heavy charges at him like a Tank from Left 4 Dead.
Before the RED Heavy can catch up, BLU Spy soaks RED Heavy in the Jarate he got covered in earlier. One sniff and it's turned him from a rampaging Big Shaved Bear into a coward as he whimpers back to the RED House like a sad puppy.
- Even better, it appears the lengthy shower the BLU Spy took still wasn’t enough to wash away the Jarate.
As BLU settles in to watch Game of Bones, a sleeping RED Demoman falls on the remote, switching the channel from Game of Bones, to Oi! Fuck You! Friendship is Magic.
As the BLU Team (except for Scout, Soldier, and Demoman) leave the room as Oi! Fuck You! comes on, BLU Scout is overjoyed that his favorite show is on, BLU Demoman drinks himself under the table, and BLU Soldier has a breakdown about ponies.
- BLU Scout winking as the Iris Out focuses on him. Keep in mind that he was looking at furry porn earlier.
In The Stinger, while Soldier bemoans being unable to watch Game of Bones, BLU Scout can be seen sitting on the stairs, pouting like a disappointed child because the former smashed the TV.

Episode 3: Pool Fools

To cope with a heatwave, the RED Team buys a swimming pool, and the BLU Team is trying anything and everything to get it for themselves.

The Episode opens as a Scooby-Doo meets type show, complete with a title card: The BLU team meets The Harlem Globetrotters. Unfortunately, there are no models of the Globetrotters available, so BLU is playing against a team of Gmod's giant ERROR placeholders.
- Apparently, the lack of models for the Globetrotters proves to be enough to make Greatdictator and Batman1138 stop the episode and switch to plan B: The actual episode.
The heatwave is so bad that it affects everyone in zany ways:
- The birds in their nest have turned into fried chicken
- The RED Demoman immediately catches fire as soon as he sets foot outside.
- The Survivors from Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2 have some great moments as well:
  - Zoey and Ellis frying eggs on the searing sidewalk
  - Rochelle and Nick attempting to sell $25 Hot Lemonade. The words "cool" and "warm" on their stand's sign were crossed off.
  - Francis hijacking various ice cream trucks, all of which he tethered to Bill's armored van to run his own illicit ice cream business.
When RED Heavy, Pyro, Sniper, and Engie try to get ice cream from Francis, Bill, armed with a spiked cricket bat, confronts Francis for misusing his van. Francis floors it with a music-box rendition of Yakety Sax playing from the truck as Bill chases him on foot.
Upon seeing the ice cream he paid for melting on the road, RED Engineer declares "Fuck it" and with a holler, dives onto the puddle and laps it up with a realistic tongue.
Given how long and trippy the other episodes' flashbacks to the Badwater Incident are, the Engineer's is hilariously brief. He cares very little about BLU Team's rampant cheating, Rancho-Relaxing as giant stickybombs roll towards him.
RED Engineer proposes to the RED team that he will build the "Conagher's Super Pool Relaxation System". However, just as he prepares to start on the project, Sniper has an Imagine Spot where he envisions the result of the Engie's work will be a repeat of the events of The Grill, except with the swimming pool turning into a robot. Cue Sniper stopping Engie and pulling out his phone to call a contractor.
- The entire Imagine Spot is also a few seconds' worth of comedy gold. For instance:
  - While RED is shooting at the pool robot, the robot itself is dancing while tossing RED Scout around like a ragdoll. During its dance, the robot occasionally steps on RED Heavy.
  - RED Spy is just standing there and periodically shooting the robot with the derpiest look on his face.
  - RED Engineer staring at the audience with a dopey smile.
    RED Engineer: I built that.
  - RED Soldier runs across the screen on fire (again).
    RED Soldier: I AM ON FIRE SOMEHOW!
"WE'RE OUT OF COLD WATER!"
- Cue a long Beat where the team wraps their heads around how that's even possible before they fly into a panic. Well, almost everyone. Demoman starts drinking himself into a stupor, Sniper just stands there shaking his head, Pyro faints and Scout just looks at the ground confused.
- The panic BLU Team engages in. Soldier presses a literal panic button, Engie builds a jet engine in a desperate attempt to cool the BLU house down but accidentally makes it too powerful and gets Blown Across the Room, Pyro empties the fridge and climbs inside, Spy disguises himself as an ice cube and starts melting, and Demoman, again attempting a Mundane Solution, screams at the absurdly high air conditioner prices.
- Even the page that advertises the air conditioners says "FUCK YOU, WE KNOW IT'S A HOT DAY!"
BLU Soldier demands BLU Engie build a pool. He refuses until his team threatens him with a variety of weapons:
- Heavy with his Eviction Notice
- Pyro with a Propane Tank on a stick
- Sniper with a Rolling Pin with Razor Blades tied on
- Medic with a large chain
- Spy with a Ripper
- Demoman with a Serious Bomb
- Scout with a Rainbow Dash Body Pillow, one that contains a shotgun given how he cocks it.
RED Team jumping into their newly built pool:
- Sniper and Demoman do cannonballs.
- Engineer rolling through the air.
- Medic flapping his arms like a bird, especially with doves flying with him.
- Heavy doing the good ol' belly flop.
- Scout bringing in airplane boarding stairs in an attempt for a high dive. He ends up missing the pool by about a foot, hitting the ground.
RED Spy applies a Suntan Stencil on Soldier's back that says "Vive La France".
RED Engineer and Medic sink RED Heavy's Steak-shaped floatie with a torpedo from the former's RC Submarine. When he surfaces, The RED Heavy fakes a jovial laugh before glaring daggers at the two geniuses. Medic wisely cuts his losses and runs, but the RED Engineer gets dunked into the water by the Heavy.
While RED Team is enjoying their new pool, BLU team impatiently waits for their Engineer to build them one.
- Heavy slowly eats fried chicken while Scout tries to sneak a piece out of the bucket. As soon as the camera cuts away, the Heavy bites Scout offscreen.
- When the Medic sees the Engineer making slow progress as he drives in a Bulldozer to their backyard, he takes a deep breath and suddenly snaps.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
BLU team preps to invade the RED household which involves Heavy getting Sasha out of bed, and Soldier dramatically replacing his helmet... with an identical one.
As they charge across the street, Scout suddenly screeches to a halt, causing the rest of the team to crash into him and fall like bowling pins while Scout doesn't budge an inch.
The crude sign RED Soldier puts up to ward away the BLU team.
Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be prostituted.
— RED Soldier
As BLU Team prepares to charge into the RED's backyard, a giant Soviet sub emerges from the road, with a bear for a captain, and a crew of Gopniks squatting at attention.
Ah nu cheeki breeki iv damke!
- When the Bear Captain talks about the Motherland and the Fatherland fighting again, the Medic discretely hides himself behind Soldier.
- The BLU Heavy accepts the Captain's offer to come and fight for Russia, knowing he'd leave for some colder weather. Heavy reaches this conclusion by imagining himself relaxing - but shivering - in a frozen tundra on a lawn chair with a drink in hand.
- The BLU Soldier's reaction after BLU Heavy accepts, looking down as he is armed with a hammer and sickle.
After the first failed raid on the RED pool party, BLU Team sends Spy out to sap the sentries, but he disguises himself as a RED Heavy and instead joins the pool party.
- The real RED Heavy stares down the BLU Spy as he awkwardly sinks deeper into the pool. The Heavy hums contemplatively... but he just watches on while casually drinking a beer.
BLU second attempt at ambushing the RED Pool Party: hiding in a box marked "Pool Toys", with part of the word "Trojan" visible while marked out with spray paint. The plan goes (no pun intended) swimmingly until RED Medic opens the box and finds the BLU Team dead from heat and suffocation. The Medic's response says a few things about what he would consider pool toys.
RED Medic: Oooohhh! (opens box to find dead BLU Team) Oh. I only prefer the fresh cadavers.
Soldier, Scout, Pyro, and Medic respawn behind BLU Sniper and BLU Soldier hits BLU Sniper
BLU Soldier: YOU FORGOT TO ADD AIR HOLES!
BLU Sniper: Ahhh, I'm sorry, mate!
BLU Medic assaults BLU Sniper
BLU Engineer miserably failing at trying to build a pool:
- He wastes everybody's time by getting a bulldozer, knocking down the fence in the process
- He tunnels into the BLU Basement with a jackhammer. After getting dirty looks from the rest of the team, he sheepishly covers the hole up with a bookcase.
- He blows up a treasure chest bomb that belongs to BLU Demoman. BLU Medic gets so furious, that he literally explodes with anger.
- It all comes to a peak when he starts getting delirious from the heat. He bursts a water main, which interrupts BLU Demoman's shower. After viewing the aftermath, Engie checks his list and marks off "filling the pool", in spite of not having lined it first.
- When he realizes that he needs to tile the pool, he hops onto his bulldozer and immediately backs it into the BLU Sniper's tree-van-house, knocking it over. This doesn't make him come back to his senses; he drives the bulldozer into the unfinished pool, taking with it the tiles and the concrete, which hardens quickly after submerging.
- At the end of the episode, he's still stuck in the concrete, late into the night and the next episode.
"MEANWHILE, IN AN UNDISCLФSED LФCATIФN!"
With failures mounting, the BLU team get worse as the heatwave continues.
- Sniper starts rolling on the floor while laughing manically.
- Medic has to be tied up to stop him attacking his teammates out of frustration.
- Pyro melts into the floor as Scout tries to scrape him off.
- Demoman falls from the second floor on fire.
- Soldier, on the verge of giving up, attempts to pull another Skyward Scream. Then he remembers that he needs to watch his blood pressure before collapsing on the floor in front of the teleporter.
When BLU Soldier finally realizes they can use the teleporter, Demoman, who is still on fire, leans in and casually asks "Aye, what did I miss?"
The RED Soldier, Medic, Demoman, and Heavy have a Chicken Fight, with Medic and Demo getting into an anticlimactic Wimp Fight after an intense buildup.
- Meanwhile, the BLU Spy is so amused by the RED Soldier's Suntan Stencil, that he forgets to disguise his voice when he laughs aloud.
  - Naturally, his cover is blown, though RED was obviously slow on the uptake:
    RED Sniper: The Heavy is a Spy!
    Voice from behind the 4th wall: Yeah, no shit!
  - Just as his team finds out about BLU Spy, the half-eaten RED Scout (long story) joins in, running in with only his legs exposed while the rest of his body has been swallowed by the shark.
When BLU arrives at the pool party, RED Soldier tells BLU that they're outnumbered. His BLU counterpart, meanwhile, correctly points that RED is completely unarmed, which leads the RED Soldier to quickly take his statement back and offer to negotiate.
Just when BLU is about to massacre the unarmed RED team, the BLU Demoman looks up and screams at the missile the BLU Heavy disabled plummeting towards them. Everyone clears out of the pool, save for BLU Spy and RED Scout. The former's reaction tops it off.
BLU Spy: Merde.
In the aftermath of the RED pool's destruction, both teams end up piling into the neighboring Civilian's pool. They've formed a barrier across the middle out of pool noodles and are all just sulking. The Civilian then walks onto the diving board and orders them to leave.
Civilain: Get out of my fricking pool!
- BLU Spy is floating on his back in a full body cast. Oddly though, RED Scout suffers no injuries despite also being in the pool when it was bombed.

Episode 4: Bush Beaters

RED's Sniper, Demoman, and Scout compete in The Bushman's Challenge against teams from all across the gaming sphere.

The Episode Cold Opens on RED Sniper after his ill-advised sniffing of the chloroform rag from BLU Spy in Episode 2. After another Badlands incident flashback, he wakes up, still collapsed on the deck and gets up with the same animation as Crash Bandicoot, complete with a spin.
- During said flashback:
  RED Sniper: [Cradling RED Medic's severed head] Stay with me, Doc!
  [Beat]
  RED Medic: I'm dead, you idiot. [The Medic head proceeds to die.]
- The BLU Spy's urine outline is still visible.
"Two months later. Coincidentally, ze day after ze last episode."
The reveal of RED Sniper's sleeping conditions: He wakes up in a tent...That is revealed to be in the middle of the floor of a fully-furnished bedroom...Which is revealed to be inside a second, normal-sized tent in the RED team's backyard.
The fallout from the last episode:
- RED Sniper wakes up to Miss Pauling and the Civilian cleaning up the remains of the pool as she wonders aloud how much money they've wasted.
- The consulting plumbers on BLU Engineer's little mess are Mario and Luigi, with the former voiced by Vinny imitating the cartoon Mario's Brooklyn-accented voice.
- The Administrator has the BLU Engineer thrown back in.
- BLU Heavy returns from his adventure in Russia and sees the chaos. RED Sniper can only give a shrug in response.
RED Soldier as Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. When one of his men informed Soldier that Waterloo wasn't a Water Park, he ordered his men to promptly retreat.
- It turned out RED Soldier was only imagining himself as Napoleon while he was playing with miniatures.
  RED Soldier: *imitating Napoleon Bonaparte* Nooooooo! I'll never be as cool as Washington! *makes gunshot noises*
On TV, the BLU Scout found an advertising gig for... water, which he advertises with way more bravado than it probably deserves. His RED counterpart, who's watching the ad, is less than impressed.
RED Scout: "Bleugh! Sellout!" [He throws an empty BONK can at the screen] "Stupid idiot..."
- Scout grows more annoyed as the RED Soldier loudly plays with his miniature war figurines, leading to an amusing exchange:
  RED Scout: Hey Soldier! Can you, like, conquer Europe later?
  RED Soldier: I conquer France at 0630 hours! I then move on to Germany at 0700, then Cleveland at 8! I have a campaign to keep! Plans to march!"
  RED Scout: I'll march my foot up your ass!
  (RED Scout tries to hit Soldier with a pillow, only for it to miss and hit a cannon.)
  RED Soldier: Ha! You throw like a conscript!
  (The cannon activates and fires a shot at Soldier, toppling him over and onto his miniatures table. The Soldier rises back up to see the mess, and he discovers his broken Napoleon figurine. He starts to whimper...)
  RED Soldier: Nooooooooooooooooo! Napoleon! You're supposed to live! *whispers* and be exiled on an island with stomach cancer.
  RED Demoman: Oy! What just happened?
  RED Soldier: Napoleon died by a bodyslam at Waterloo.
RED Sniper, Scout, and Demoman set out for the Outdoorsman challenge, only to be stopped by a line of cars including Sam and Max's Car, a Mako APC, and the Patty Wagon. All of which are stopped behind Ellis playing jacks in the middle of the road.
Ellis: I sure do love me some jacks and balls!
Just about everything involving the Fur-troit gas station.
- In a reference to the gas station bathroom scene from Dumb and Dumber, Scout goes to the bathroom and spots the following graffiti: "By being in this stall on June 23rd, 1:16 PM you are agreeing to be consensually pummeled in da butt." Cue Scout screaming his head off as Roadhog bursts into the stall. The junker apologizes before finding an empty stall and Scout breathes a sigh of relief, only for Frank the Shark to burst in the stall and pummel Scout in da butt!
- Scout is buying medicine after his aforementioned shark-inflicted butt-pummeling and bumps into a white fox girl. She, along with everyone else in the gas station, mistake him for his BLU counterpart, who's a shameless member of the Furry Fandom and a celebrity among these Funny Animals. Then Rachael Saleigh asks him for his autograph on a lewd magazine and poor Scout can only react with a Twitchy Eye. He does something to make the crowd angry (revealed to be the the RED Scout scribbling out the BLU Scout with a red marker in the end credits) and the trio drives away in a panic, with Conker drunkenly shooting at the van.
  - The panicked RED Sniper dives into his van's driver's seat head-first. Up until the trio's back on the main road, he's driving upside-down, with one hand on the gas pedal and the other turning the steering wheel.
- Much later on, the viewers are treated to a bizarre cutaway showing Louis dressed in a crudely modeled Cool Cat suit. Predictably, he's inspecting the big medkit that RED left behind in their haste.
  Louis: "Pills."
  - What's extra hilarious is that it's a Brick Joke, when Rachael (the black cat lady) asks for his autograph on a magazine. One of the featured articles is "PEOPLE WHO YOU'D NEVER GUESS THAT THEY ARE FURRIES!" which has a picture of Louis near the text.
The master of ceremonies turns out to be Sarge... who is as small as the toy soldiers he's based on. Even better, he retains his booming, masculine voice.
The Bushman's Challenge instructional video. It shows a mannequin fishing only to be eaten by a T-Rex. For the Parker, the mannequin pokes his head out of the tent complete with a Tim Allen grunt only to get eaten by the T-Rex. And for the Hunter, the mannequin is mauled by a bear...only to get shot by the T-Rex.
After RED Sniper throws RED Scout's phone overboard because Scout was not helping out, Scout gets into a heated argument with Sniper, leading to Demoman intervening.
RED Scout: Lookin' to take a swim there, you Aus-hole?
RED Sniper: I swear it, you cost me this challenge, Scout, I'll strap a fin to your back, and HANG you out to dry!
RED Scout: BRING IT! PISS-DRINKER!
RED Demoman: No ya two! Let's be smart here, and call it off.
- This ends with Scout's phone going to the bottom of the lake, RED Sniper using Scout as bait, and Frank the Shark going back for seconds with Scout.
During Frank's second attack, the Demoman and Scout share this exchange while the former is looking to improvise an explosive:
RED Demoman: Quick! I'm gon'ta need some of your BONK!
RED Scout: Why? You don't drink BONK!
(The camera abruptly zooms in on the Demoman, and the scenery promptly darkens.)
RED Demoman: Laddy... One: I drink everything. And B: I AIN'T GON'TA DRINK IT!
The other teams' antics during the Fishing Challenge.
- CJ and the Grove Street Gang bicker so much they don't realize they're sailing under a sewage outlet and get themselves sunk.
- On Team Lego, Pepper attracts fish by spinning around and tossing an infinite supply of pizza.
- Gooper Blooper terrorizes the Dark Souls team.
- In the end, Team SMNC wins the challenge by catching the Grove Street Gangs’ boat. And the gang is still in it!
Demo tossing his rum on the campfire causing an explosion.
When Scout goes to convince Sniper he's fit to take his place in the Camper Challenge after Sniper gets a leg injury, he mentions he's seen Sniper Camp. Cue Cutaway to a 2Fort match where Scout is observing Sniper, perched on the battlements in a tent and engaged in a Sniper Duel with the BLU Sniper, who's in an Igloo.
The Camper Challenge. Mundane Made Awesome in it's purest form.
- Exactly one minute into the challenge, Big Smoke disqualifies himself by emerging from his tent, in search of food.
  CJ: Awww, Smoke! Nooooooo!
- Team Fallout is disqualified when Preston Garvey interrupts the contest to bring the word of a settlement in trouble.
- The Warhammer 40K Space Marine is disqualified due to one of his feet sticking out. It is revealed that he was wearing a sailors' hat, holding a teddy bear and a lollipop as he looks up.
Space Marine: Uhhh, I can explain.
- The Dark Souls contestant is somehow killed by his own tent. With the implication that out of everyone they were the ones that got a tent mimic.
- Solaire excitedly waiting for the sun to rise during the time passage montage.
  Solaire: Oh boy, here it comes!
- Against all odds, the twitchy, hyperactive Scout has spent 24 hours in solitary. Sniper and Demo are overjoyed... until they find out exactly how he did it upon noticing his grotesquely swollen arm and the conspicuous placement of his hands.
  Scout: Umm... can I get five more minutes?
  (Sniper silently closes the curtain to the tent.)
When RED Heavy at home was channel surfing, he comes across "Truck Fuck," a TV show he made an embarrassing appearance in. On that evening's episode, he was dared to strip naked and have sex with a pickup truck for money.
Truck Fuck Announcer: Tonight on Truck Fuck! This tub of Siberian lard will go all-in exhaust penetration on his friend's 1941 Chevrolet AK Pickup Deluxe. For a reward of $399,999.98.
- He changes the channel to the Camping challenge, where after a few seconds, the bored RED Soldier grabs the remote and changes the channel back to Truck Fuck. Heavy runs out of the room screaming while the RED Medic comes to a horrifying realization...
  RED Medic: Vait a minute... I recognize zhat truck!
- To add insult to injury, it was filmed at the Fur-troit Gas Station, as the finger stencil Heavy left ("hevy[sic] was here") was present when RED Sniper stopped to refill his van.
The Hunter challenge. As you can probably guess, each team goes after their own hunt. And hilarity ensues.
- When an assistant fires a starting pistol, he accidentally kills an American Bald Eagle^note. The Master of Ceremonies quickly plays it off as a benchmark for the contestants to beat.
- CJ and his crew get into a shoot-out with the moose from Pool Fools, who’s got his own crew.
- Team Dark Souls rolling and slashing at Onyxia, who’s casually holding a cup of coffee.
- Team LEGO set their sights on a Tauros. And they try blowing it up with dynamite. Chief didn't get far enough from the blast; his arm flies off and knocks the RED Sniper off his lookout tree.
RED Sniper and SMNC Sniper are about to swordfight one-another over the Bigfoot, RED Scout tries to join the fight only to be held back by RED Demo.
Demoman: (holding Scout back) No, no laddie.
Scout: We can't let them get away with this shit!
Demoman: And miss out on this?
(Demo motions to how both Snipers are about to engage in what is going to be an epic swordfight.)
Scout: ...Point taken.
(Demoman procures a bottle of scrumpy, while Scout pulls out a Dalokohs' Chocolate Bar)
The only time the SMNC Sniper speaks is when he's confronted by the titanic Papa Bigfoot, who's furious about his son's murder. All the man can say is a meek, "Um... He did it."^noteIt completely contrasts with the smug, superior air surrounding him up until that point, and he and his teammates are immediately punted into the sky.
As Demoman flees, instead of a smokecloud being left behind, his blood alchohol level in the shape of Demoman is left behind.
While trying to escape from Papa Bigfoot, Scout accidentally drives into Team WARHAMMER. One of the members spots that Scout is the one responsible for driving into him.
Ultramarine: You're so dead!
(Looks up to see that Papa Bigfoot is chasing after them)
Ulramarine: ...Uh, like I said, you're so dead. See ya!
(Space Marine promptly rolls off the hood of the camper van)
When the RED team drives past the Grove Street Gang, Demo immediately asks for their help and their response is to pull out their phones to activate cheats and bring out the big weapons. CJ brings out a rocket launcher, Smoke brings out a gatling gun and Ryder crushes the entire team with a boat he spawned.
During the climax, they need some way to safely squeeze a bomb into the Demoman's launcher, at which point Scout remembers the anal lube he was mistakenly given back in Fur-troit.
Scout: Will this work?
Sniper: What the bloody hell is this?!
Scout: Just use it!
(Sniper passes it through the van vent to Demoman)
Demoman: What the bloody hell is this?!
Scout and Sniper: Just use it!!
- After a dramatic slow motion shot, the scene abruptly cuts to Papa Bigfoot respawning at his house. His son is on the couch with a bandage on his chest smiling and his wife, an identical Bigfoot wearing a hat, asks how his walk in the woods went. His response is a certain (slowed down) distinctive grumble.
At the award ceremony, we see what the other teams have caught: Team LEGO somehow caught Toa Tahu, and Team Warcraft caught Spyro who's hanging with a disapproving look on his face.
The photos in the credits, all of which are amusing in their own right:
- Sniper accidentally shocking his team with the newly won electronium knife. Doesn’t stop Demo from drinking the champagne.
- Scout, Frank, and Papa Bigfoot reading the episode's script. In the first photo, Scout is horrified upon reading about the aforementioned rape scene. And in the second, we that Papa Bigfoot is so big that he has to hold the script between his fingers and use glasses to read it!
- Scout flirting with the SMNC Assassin and getting kicked in the nuts. Said Assassin walks away with his bucket of chicken.
- The Mudokan assistant discovers the contents of Scout's tent from the Parker's Challenge and is visibly shocked.
There’s a Freeze-Frame Bonus that reveals exactly what Scout did to piss off the Funny Animals at the gas station: He scribbled out his BLU counterpart's face on the magazine and signed it with his own RED signature.

Chronicles

Frozen Fortress

The whole thing is a war documentary about a snowball fight. It's as ludicrous as it sounds.
The news articles about the start of the war are presented with the first snowball mimicking historical assassinations (In order of appearance/: Lee Harvey Oswald, Archduke Franz Ferdinand, and Abraham Lincoln).
The BLU Team believes that Scout was responsible for throwing the first snowball. Scout denies this, and he's in fact telling the truth, as Pyro is revealed to be the actual perpetrator when they make a "Shhhh!" gesture and follow up said gesture with a devious chuckle.
- If one rewatches the scene of Scout proclaiming that he didn’t throw the first snowball, you can see the BLU Pyro in the background holding a box of cereal, and realises that they’re in front of the camera, so they tiptoe off the screen.
- BLU Medic says that he doesn't like to name names, right before he states his belief that Scout was responsible for throwing the first snowball. In the aforementioned news articles, he is quoted as asking "All I can say is, who do we know that is young, is from Boston and is BLU Scout?"
When the fight first begins, we see a clip of RED Scout trying to hit a snowball like a baseball, tossing it in the air and attempting to launch it at the other team with his bat, only for it to burst when the bat collides with it instead.
An interview segment with Ellis from Left 4 Dead 2 has him speak about a completely separate, far more gruesome conflict (likely the outbreak of the Green Flu) by mistake, describing "men, women, and children being mowed down, blood spilling into the streets," before being informed he was being interviewed about the snowball fight, and simply stating. "Oh, yeah, that. They had a snowball fight."
BLU's emergency method of getting back into their house is to retrieve a crowbar from underneath their doormat, give it to Scout, then throw him in through a window and have him break open the front door from the inside. Meanwhile, RED Scout makes the mistake of taunting the Heavy when he can't break their door down, resulting in the Heavy killing him and forcing him to respawn inside.
- Amusingly there's even a Bait-and-Switch moment where it looks like RED Scout is going to be thrown through the window like his BLU counterpart, before he respawns in.
One of BLU Soldier's attack plans involves copying American Football plays from Madden 98.
Before the RED Team put Pyro in charge of snowball artillery, they considered putting Demoman in charge until they realized he had no skills with weapon construction. He bemoans only being able to craft a double-decker couch out of snow.
One of the interview segments tries to get a quote out of Winston from Overwatch, only for Winston to have no idea who the Team Fortress 2 mercenaries are.
After RED Sniper goes out of commission over a missed shot, the BLU Soldier commands his team into a direct invasion of the RED house, only to go to the next door neighbor's house thanks to RED Spy tampering with the enemy team's map. BLU Soldier can only give a Flat "What" in response. This is followed up by the RED Demoman laughing at them from the roof, wearing a kilt with a pixellated underside, and the RED Pyro stopping the BLU Team in their tracks by erecting a picket fence around the front yard with a locked gate.
- Meanwhile, in the present, the RED Demoman makes it clear that he got so drunk during the proceedings he forgot about the snow entirely.
RED Demoman: There was snow?! Och... I don't remember shit.
A Spy Robot is giving it's testimony of events...which just sounds like monotone electronic droning, before it abruptly cloaks and disappears from it's seat, prompting this appropriate reaction from the filming crew member.
Filming crew member: Ey yo, what the fuck?!
RED Team is not happy about being forced to sign a peace treaty.
RED Scout: It was like going to Burger Tank on a hot summer day and finding out the ice cream machine's broken. (fights back tears) Like every day.
In the interview segments, the BLU Spy ends up being the Only Sane Man, pointing out constantly how it was just a snowball fight, and everyone had been taking the whole ordeal way too seriously.
The Patreon credit voiceover is also worth a mention.
Voiceover: We would like to cordially thank the YouTube underlings who have successfully siphoned their profits from their bespoke pyramid scheme of choice. Thank you, minions. Your contribution will finance the machine that will beat our employees until morale and productivity improves.

Funny / Team Neighborhood