Funny / Steven Universe Season 2

To be fair though, anyone would make that kind of face if someone called them a "clod".

Main Funny Index | Season 1A | Season 1B | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4 | Season 5 | The Movie | Future | Keep Beach City Weird

---

"Full Disclosure"

• Greg's expressions of mounting horror as Steven explains what happened.
  • He then tries to find a "relaxing music CD". Predictably, he puts one into his van's stereo and it's some kind of guitar music rife with Metal Screams.
    Greg: Wrong one! Stop! Eject!
• Ronaldo sounding all serious as he talks to Steven about the heavy burden they carry, interrupted by his sudden realization that there's a crashed spaceship on the beach which he should have already noticed by then.
  • And he's running to update his blog seconds after explaining how he and Steven must shield others from knowledge they can't handle.
• When Steven wants to keep everyone away from him, Pearl and Amethyst start brainstorming.
  Amethyst: This time, let's build a moat! I can be... [transforms her head into a crocodile] THE CROCODILE! ...Jazz hands!
  • Even better is Pearl's retort.
    Pearl: You always say you'll be the crocodile, but you never commit!
• The entire awkwardness of Pearl trying to distract Connie while Steven sneaks out the window next to her.
• During Steven's song, he browses through some pictures of him and Connie, one of which is Connie making a hilarious face at the camera while sticking out her tongue. Other highlights in the photo montage include a group selfie with Steven making a scrunched up face and the two at a restaurant table under a large, mounted cow head which Steven has slumped down to the table in fear of but Connie is reaching up to in fascination.
• Steven's face as he tells Connie that he still wants to be friends with her. On the one hand, it's a heartbreaking scene, but the copious amount of snot and tears streaming down his face makes it hilarious as well.
• Steven wandering through Beach City while trying to come up with a convincing way to tell Connie what happened aboard the ship was mostly serious, but it did culminate in this great line:
  Steven: [still talking to himself] "Hey Connie, that message I left you? That was just a dream!" Aha, heh... Nah, she's too smart for that.

"Open Book"

• When Steven finished The Destiny's End.
  Connie: What did you think of the ending?
  Steven: I thought it was on page 917.
• The Destiny's End, the final entry in The Spirit Morph Saga, has fifty pages devoted to describing a cake. Steven finds this ridiculous; a cake with no strawberries clearly deserved no more than twenty pages.
• When Steven decides to get to the "challenge authority" thing Connie mentioned, he conjures three guards to stop them and lists his crimes as "selling without a permit" and "not old enough to drive a cart". Each one is accompanied by a scroll covered in nothing but "blah", only the second ends with "They're pretty serious, guys."
• Connie's rant about why the ending to The Spirit Morph Saga was terrible is pretty hilarious, especially because of Steven off to the side barely following any of it.

"Joy Ride"

• The scene with Buck and Sour Cream throwing pizza at Steven's window to get his attention, especially when Sour Cream mentions that they have to deliver what's left to Mr. Smiley.
  Buck: I only wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rain...
  Steven: ...Is that a reference to something?
• "Freedom smells like pepperoni."
• Buck realizes the limitation of Screw the Rules, I Have Connections! when he says his father can't tell him how to act like the mayor's son.
  Buck: You can't tell me what to do, I'm the mayor's– wait...
• Even though the conversation itself is pretty sad, Steven relating his personal issues leaves the Cool Kids completely wide-eyed and in Stunned Silence. He definitely one-upped their problems.
  Sour Cream: I'd become a fisherman any day, if it meant not dealing with tha–aaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!
  • Later, when the Cool Kids defend Steven, Sour Cream tells the Gems to "just let him be a DJ!"
• The entire montage of Steven and the Cool Kids playing with the escape pod.
  • When they find it, Sour Cream's first response to the escape pod is to pick up a big rock and throw it at it.
  • And again while Buck kicks it.
    Sour Cream: Here come the rocks! [drops large armful of rocks on the pod]
  • And again for the closing shot of the episode.
    Sour Cream: I'm invincible! [subtitle: EARTH FOREVER!!]
• Sour Cream tells Steven to do some donuts in the escape pod. You should keep in mind that it walks around on three legs.
• The various photo montages, with everyone making goofy faces and putting on silly glittery stickers. Especially at the end when the Gems get in on the act, although Pearl looks baffled by the whole thing.
• Steven finally gets ungrounded from watching TV! Also counts as a Heartwarming Moment.

"Say Uncle"

• One of the first clips for the Uncle Grandpa crossover features Uncle Grandpa, dressed in military gear, aiming a cannon at Steven. When Steven mentions this doesn't seem safe, Uncle Grandpa just says, "Don't worry kid, I'm wearing a helmet."
• Uncle Grandpa's spectacular introduction to Steven; it involves an elaborate water show with dolphins lining the sides spraying water and birds carrying a wreath as a giant clamshell rises from the water, opening up to reveal Uncle Grandpa is inside. The kicker is that he is dressed as Rose Quartz.
• Uncle Grandpa dismisses something many fans were worrying about.
  Steven: Oh my gosh, Uncle Grandpa! You're really here, I can't believe it! I mean, I really can't believe it. How is this even possible!?
  Uncle Grandpa: Don't worry bro, none of this is canon.
• Uncle Grandpa ends up being... well, Uncle Grandpa. Via being present in a flashback to "Gem Glow" — he was in a promotional channel bug, so he could see the episode.
  Steven: I don't remember that at all.
• After presenting himself to Steven, the first thing UG does is state that nothing that was happening now was canon. To demonstrate, he proceeds to use a literal headcan(n)on to literally sink Lars and Sadie's ship.
  • Prior to the episode airing on April 2nd, the crew had been adamant that it was all going to be canon. A sizeable chunk of the fandom flipped its lid. Sure enough, one of the first things Uncle Grandpa does is write out a big "APRIL FOOLS" in the air.
• The Gem's reaction to UG's title:
  Amethyst: Uncle... Grandpa?
  Pearl: So that would make him Greg's brother... and father?
  Garnet: That would explain a lot.
• How do the Gems react to Uncle Grandpa's Reality Warper nature? With complete shock and horror, of course!
  Pearl: [incoherent laughter before fainting]
  Amethyst: MY HEAD IS ON BACKWARDS!
  Garnet: [shivers]
• Pearl's entire conversation with Uncle Grandpa is hilarious.
  Pearl: [uneasily] Ahem. Um... Uncle Grandpa?
  Uncle Grandpa: Good morning!
  Pearl: Yes. We have decided to–
  UG: [playing a Smash Bros-esque game with Steven] Play video games?
  Pearl: [patiently] No. Uh...
  UG: [running circles around Steven] Run around in circles?
  Pearl: [less patiently] No...
  UG: [eating a three-way sub with Steven and now Amethyst] Eat a three-way sub?
  Amethyst: [to Pearl] Yo.
  Pearl: [with crazed spirals in her eyes] AMETHYST!
  • Uncle Grandpa's reaction to Garnet telling him they're going to destroy him due to being a threat to both Steven and the world.
    Uncle Grandpa: Bad Mornin'!
• Pearl's increasing panic over the course of the episode, especially when the Gems are trapped in an eternal white void.
  Pearl: WE'LL NEVER ESCAPE! THIS IS OUR NEW HOME!!!
  Garnet: Pearl, you're overreacting.
  Pearl: [cartoonishly freaking out] I'M NOT OVERREACTING!!! [runs off screaming]
  • Note, while she does run off-screen, she does run to the left. She then runs around screaming in the background, coming from the right.
  • Even better, how do they get out of the white void? Garnet declares she's completely done with this episode and shatters it.
  • Amethyst's face throughout Pearl's Freak Out that screams boredom and indifference.
  • Why was Pizza Steve with the Gems in the first place? He put on a Paper-Thin Disguise and tried to pass himself off as "Pizza Steven Universe", prompting another hilarious reaction from Pearl. And if you look carefully, a Heartwarming Moment.
    Pearl: THAT'S NOT MY BABY!
  • Amethyst ends up eating Pizza Steve, and the episode ends with a dedication to him saying "In loving memory of Pizza Steve", with the same bad drawing of the slice that Pizza Steve had made earlier.
  • Amethyst's dry remark at the end of the episode.
    Garnet: [after Steven uses his shield to protect Uncle Grandpa] He must really care about [Uncle Grandpa].
    Amethyst: I hope he didn't care about that pizza.
  • Another gem from Pearl:
    Steven, you're right. [cue Ocular Gushers] HOW CAN I HAVE BEEN SO BLIND?! I'M SORRYYYYYYYYY!!!!
• When the Gems finally decide to take down UG, a sudden narration presents the situation as the introduction to a fighting game round.
  "CRYSTAL GEMS!" "RUN AWAY!"
  • Amethyst then proceeds to trip over the "y".
    Amethyst: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?
• Mr. Gus shows Steven his "Gemsona".
  • Pizza Steve then proceeds to erase the drawing and replace it with a poorly-drawn picture of himself.
    Mr. Gus: Hey! Why didn't you draw that on a new layer?!
  • Which he actually uploaded onto Tumblr shortly before and after the episode aired, just to make sure the joke worked properly. And got rejected.
• After Uncle Grandpa leaves, he pulls out a list of people he's visited, and lists off Dexter, Dee Dee, Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup, Ed, Edd, Eddy, Billy, Mandy, Mac, Juniper, the SWAT Kats (!), Flapjack and Finn. He checks off Steven's name, and the list shows that Clarence is next.
  • Hell, the fact that the friggin' SWAT Kats are smack dab in the middle of the list. One can only imagine what type of chaos ensued as a result of UG's visit to their world- Dr. Viper and Mr. Gus tussling, Burke and Murray chasing down Pizza Steve to try and eat him, UG probably pissing off Commander Feral a whole lot, etc.
• How utterly exaggerated Pearl is for the entire episode. We've seen her at the point of hysteria before, but this is quite something else. You could swear she was acting like Squidward on a very bad day, or even a rejected Uncle Grandpa character. The fans had a field trip at her over the top expressions and half of them turned to memes instantly.
  • Dee Dee Magno Hall's voice acting is particularly amazing, considering all the dramatic and/or motherly performance she normally gives.
  • Having Amethyst be the calm one next to Pearl's over-the-topness for this episode just drives the comedy even further home.
• The fact that the Crewniverse slipped in a clue about Pink Diamond in this episode is just... from a meta point it's screwy enough to be hilarious. Specifically, Uncle Grandpa says that Steven needs to clean his gem twice a year. Rose quartzes in real life don't need that... but real life diamonds do.

"Story for Steven"

• Before Greg starts telling his story while the two are in his van, he tells Steven to "Sit back, and get comfy." His response is to crawl under the covers of the van's bed.
  Greg: I didn't mean that comfy.
• The incredibly chipper way that Greg introduces Marty, only to say in the exact same tone of voice, "He's dead to me."
• On the old fence around the Crystal Gem temple, underneath the official "KEEP OFF BEACH" sign, someone (probably Pearl, judging by the handwriting) added a hand-written "Please."
• Amethyst pretending to be an owl, and Greg's face when she starts talking.
• The Gems meeting Greg for the first time since apart from Rose they have No Social Skills; Garnet would've thrown him over the fence until Rose stopped her. Speaking of which, Garnet blushes when Rose makes her drop Greg.
• A tongue tied Greg gives Rose her free T-shirt and while she is flattered...
  Rose: [stage whisper to the other Gems] His gimmick is space.
• Amethyst asking Greg to play something, and Garnet manifesting a gauntlet and saying that he'd better make it good.
• When Greg realizes that he might be late, he asks the Gems what time it is. Pearl hesitantly replies "nighttime?"
• Pearl's Flat "What" when Greg says that he didn't drop out of community college for nothing.
• Pearl going all Clingy Jealous Girl when Greg leaves, saying that she can sing. Rose cracks a grin, and Garnet and Amethyst burst into giggles.

"Shirt Club"

• The episode starts off with Steven drawing images for Greg's guitar classes; when he asks the Gems for feedback:
  Steven: [in response to why his drawing has thunderbolts around the guitar] Well, those are supposed to show how much he rocks at the guitar!
  Garnet: Then there should be rocks falling out of it.
• Buck entering the Big Donut, sees nothing but donuts on sale... and for reasons unknown, orders a salad; Lars is all too quick to comply, despite the fact that, as Sadie makes clear, they don't even have vegetables.
• Mayor Dewey trying to speak slang to his son in the hopes Buck will help him get re-elected is forced and all the better for it:
  "You know I gotta gank dem youth votes, boy-eeeeee!"
• Sour Cream's reaction to being pegged with a Guitar Dad t-shirt: "This is the coolest thing I've ever been hit in the head with!"
• Ronaldo gets a shirt too... and thinks it's a sign from extraterrestrials trying to make contact with him.
• Steven firing off the Vote For My Dad shirts into the crowd at Mayor Dewey's bench commemoration is a beautiful spoofing of assassination scenes.
  Mayor Dewey: I've been... shirt...
  • Not to mention that when Mayor Dewey's bodyguards see the "shooting", they both panic and run away.
• Near the beginning of the episode, the Gems have various boxes and instruction manuals out. When Steven returns later, it turns out the boxes were kits for building basic stools; one of them has been constructed, the other two have been reduced to looking like failed modern art, and the advanced alien warriors appear to have given up trying to fix them.
• After finding out what Buck intends on doing with his shirts Steven arrives to ask the Gems for help, startling them with the intensity Steven is showing. We then get an exchange showing the difference between what the Gems and Steven consider an emergency:
  Steven: It's an emergency! You have to help me get rid of all the shirts and stop Buck from making more!
  Pearl: Have the shirts come to life and possessed the bodies of their wearers?!
  Steven: N-no they just-
  Amethyst: Are people catching on fire when they put on the magic shirts?!
  Steven: No, no they're just-
  Pearl: [with Hypnotic Eyes] ARE THE SHIRTS DESTROYING THE WEARERS WILL TO CONTINUE ON IN THIS MORTAL COIL THEREBY SHUTTING DOWN BEACH CITY?!
  Steven: No! Their just- Their using my art in a way I don't agree with.
  Pearl: Oh. [the Gems sit back down]
  Garnet: We'll pass.

"Love Letters"

• Jamie asks Garnet out on a date. The issue? Garnet is a Fusion of two lovers.
  Connie: I think he's asking you out... on a date!
  [Beat]
  Steven: Well that ain't happening.
  Garnet: Nope.
• The flashback to Jamie writing the letter to Garnet shows him in full Shakespearian get-up, writing with a huge quill, with the room he's in lit by candlelight. And then his quill catches on fire and he spends the rest of the flashback trying to put it out.
• Jamie's love letter itself is a hilariously over-the-top pile of Purple Prose and tortured metaphors.
  "To Garnet: When I saw you rise like an ancient sea nymph, a white-hot steel pierced the deepest artery of my being! You, you are a cardiac surgeon and I am your transplant patient, and you stand poised over my chest, holding my still-beating heart, hesitating, waiting, wondering! So I implore you to join me for dinner, or maybe lunch if you wanna keep it casual, next Friday at the Crab Shack. I await your response as the camellia awaits the rise of the moon... 'cause, y'know, it only blooms at night and stuff. Love, Jamie."
• Garnet's original rejection letter was amusingly cold.
  Garnet: Start with the letter "N".
  Connie: Okay. What's next?
  Garnet: Uh, the letter "O".
  Connie: Uh, okay. You can just say the whole word instead of spelling it out.
  Garnet: Period.
  Connie: So "N", "O", period? [realizing Garnet spelt "No."] Oh.
  Steven: I think we'll need more than that.
  Garnet: "The end. Forever. And even after that."
  Steven: "Yours truly, Garnet".
  Connie: At least it's honest and to the point.
• Connie's reply isn't much better, followed by a perfect summation by Steven as usual.
  Steven: How can we give this letter to Jamie now? He might get upset.
  Connie: Hm... [holds up a pencil] We can make adjustments. We can match Jamie's poetic language and let him down easy! [starts erasing the words on the sheet] I watched some episodes of a torrid soap opera once, so I'm confident that I get the gist of romance. [rubs the eraser on the paper harder] Err... There! [starts to write on the paper] "Dear Jamie. You, dear camellia, expectantly await the light of my moon, yet my light is more of a scorching, wilting, dry desert heat. And as for your metaphorical surgeon, it is with a heavy heart that I urge you to seek a second opinion. I return your heart to you–"
  Steven: "Also, your hair is nice."
  Connie: "Hair... is... nice. Yours, but not really, Garnet."
  Steven: Perfect.
• The fact that Jamie is the only Beach City mailman who knows where Steven lives, and that a huge pile of mail built up while he was away.
• When Jamie confronts Garnet with the (unknowingly fake) letter from Garnet Steven and Connie wrote, Garnet's reply is a really confused and high octave reaction while her face (or what little we can see of it anyway due to her shades) still has that stoic and stern expression she usually wears. What really sells it is Garnet's blunt, quick, no nonsense delivery of her rejection. Again.
  Garnet: I 'idn't write that!
  • Jamie's bishie face from the same scene.
• When Garnet lets Jamie down easy, the otherwise touching conversation ends on a hilarious note.
  Jamie: So what am I supposed to do now?
  Garnet: Start with local theater.
  [Garnet pats his back so hard he nearly falls over and then walks off]
  

"Reformed"

• Pearl asking Greg about Crying Breakfast Friends.
  Pearl: Do you understand that cartoon show?
  Greg: I don't understand anything anymore.
• Apparently Amethyst likes to put motor oil on sandwiches.
• Steven convinces Amethyst to take a "Which Crying Breakfast Friend Are You?" quiz he found online. She gives obviously bogus answers to the first two questions, and Steven asks her "Are you taking this seriously?" Which turns out to be one of the questions in the quiz.
• "Wait! I have loads more probing personal questions to ask!"
• Amethyst's impersonation of Pearl, though Garnet doesn't apparently find it amusing.
• After the third time Amethyst has to regenerate after her physical form gets destroyed, Steven says this.
  Steven: Is it weird I'm getting numb to this?
• Garnet's Comically Serious moment when Amethyst first gets poofed. The fact that the monster's called 'The Slinker' in general,
  Garnet: SLINKER!

"Sworn to the Sword"

• Steven and Connie's jam song at the beginning. And when Steven and Connie reference their song later, Pearl is completely confused.
• Connie fighting off a flock of hungry seagulls with her violin bow.
  Connie: Run back to your masters! Tell them we're not afraid of your kind!
• Pearl's dewey-eyed expression after Connie convinces her to train her in swordfighting is hilariously over-the-top. Here it is in full GIF form!◊
• Pearl's first reaction to Steven asking her to train Connie.
  Pearl: You want me to do wha~at?!
• Pearl remarks she was only a few thousand years old when she started fighting alongside Rose Quartz.
• Steven unconsciously summons his bubble-shield around himself and Connie when Holo-Pearl appears (he apparently still has some bad memories of her last appearance). Then he sheepishly drops the shield and walks away after Connie wonders what he's doing.
  Steven: You just be careful, and I will go... over here.
• It's hard not to laugh at Steven's expressions throughout the training montage, culminating in a supremely awkward one which seems to be directed at the audience and can best be described as "Oh, Crap! This Is Gonna Suck."
• The book Steven was reading called How to Talk to People has two simple instructions:
  Step 1: Think of what you want to say.
  Step 2: Say it.
  • It's even funnier because he seems to be really concentrating on the book.
  • And funnier still, these instructions are halfway through the book, which is a thick hardcover. One wonders what all led up to or followed that.
• Garnet, Master of Comedy.
• Amethyst greets Steven with mock-anger, for some reason:
  Amethyst: Hey there, Steven! Why're you standing there all sad like that?!
• The sheer amount of Black Comedy when Steven sees the many, many times Pearl kept getting turned back into her gem form protecting Rose until the reflection changes to Steven getting protected by Connie...and the image about to show her getting axed to death changes to his horrified expression.
• Steven and Connie explaining their Battle Couple plan to Pearl:
  Steven: She's the strawberry!
  Connie: And he's the biscuit!
  Both: And that makes us Jam-Buds!
  Pearl: Wha?
• Pearl getting excited to train Connie and half-human Steven with the mid-air and underwater dueling exercises.

"Rising Tides, Crashing Skies"

• Just about everything about the actual video, from the Comic Sans font to the odd special effects.
  • They're almost all reminiscent of Windows Movie Maker, which is about as amateurish as video editing can get. Not to mention the horrible editing.
• Apparently, Ronaldo still wonders if Steven is pregnant.
• On camera, Peedee refuses the comment that he cried when the city had to be evacuated. Then there's a Smash Cut of actual footage of his father trying to pull him away from the restaurant.
• "It exploded into an explosion."
• This bit from the actual footage of the Fryman family in the car as Peridot's ship crashes.
  Ronaldo: [awed] Unbelieva– [suddenly whiny] I MISSED IIIIT!
• The re-enactment of the hand ship crashing into the beach, with Ronaldo's own hand standing in for the ship. Which gets caught by a crab the moment he "lands".
• Most of the titles of the people who appear on camera.
  • Sadie — Horror Movie Enthusiast
  • Kiki — Pizza Heiress
  • Jenny — Intimidating Teenage Girl
  • Mayor Dewey — Mayor Dewey
  • Onion — ?????
  • Steven Universe — Gracious Host
  • The Crystal Gems — Beach City would be way safer if they weren't here.
• When Ronaldo mentions that he was covering the Gems while interviewing Mayor Dewey, the mayor mishears it as "cover-up", panics, and has Ronaldo thrown out by security, which only convinces Ronaldo the local government is helping to hide something.
• Ronaldo having to shout when doing a long shot in front of the Crystal Gems' temple on the beach.
• Ronaldo describes the Crystal Gems as "mysterious" and "reclusive"... then Steven opens the door just as Ronaldo is getting ready to knock, and agrees to an interview if Ronaldo will come in and have some lemonade with him. Making it even funnier is the way Ronaldo's voice cracks when he asks Steven to "participate in a ground-breaking interview".
• Onion slapping away Ronaldo's microphone in his interview.
  Ronaldo: You can't keep quiet forever!
• Pearl apparently still doesn't know Ronaldo by name, and calls him Frybo.
• Garnet grabs Steven and simply puts him atop her hair before walking away.
• In the background of the fry shop, a pinup calendar can be seen... featuring a potato wearing a bikini.
  • It's a hot potato.
• This gold:
  Ronaldo: [voiceover] The answer may shock you.
  Garnet: Okay.
• Garnet staring at Ronaldo (having an over-dramatic breakdown) through the door before and after she talks to him.
• Garnet admitting that she wasn't really going to leave Beach City defenseless...she just wanted Ronaldo's camera out of her face.
• In a bit of meta-hilarity, if you check the in-universe "Keep Beach City Weird" blog you'll see that Ronaldo tried to post his documentary online. Unfortunately, his first attempt to upload it only uploaded the preview image file and when he finally had it posted it got taken down instantly for copyright violations. Apparently he used copyrighted background music that he thought was "fair use".

"Keeping It Together"

• Pearl taking over the team's chore wheel by replacing everyone's name with her own.
  Pearl: I just really enjoy doing all those things!
  • When the camera is focused on the chore wheel, beside it there's a little note that says "Buy engine oil". Amethyst really wants it for a sandwich.
• Steven trying to get Garnet to split into Ruby and Sapphire to help fold his clothes. Garnet isn't unfusing for laundry.
• Amethyst saying humans would be funnier if they didn't wear clothes. Steven's reaction is what sells it.
• Garnet saying the Earth is "janked" if the Injectors reactivate. Amethyst reacts like she used a significantly stronger word than "janked".
  Amethyst: [gasps] Garnet! That mouth!
• The entire scene where the team has yet another encounter with Peridot.
  • Peridot is writing in her log and actually sees Steven for a brief moment before going back to writing, then it dawns on her that Steven is standing right there and she shrieks like a little girl.
  • Then she asks him if the other Gems are with him, prompting him to shake his head... then nod and then give an apologetic shrug.
  • Peridot begins rotating her finger like a helicopter. Her face when she activates the fingercopter is priceless. It's like even she's not sure it'll work and is surprised when it does. Then, in her giddiness, she laughs like a madman as she flies away.
  • Pearl's and Amethyst's exchange while chasing after Peridot:
    Amethyst: I'm gonna bop her good!
    Pearl: I'll help!
• Steven questioning how the Crystal Gems get the washer and dryer to work up on the hand. Garnet simply answers "Magic", with a literal Hand Wave.

"We Need to Talk"

• Greg's reaction to Steven and Connie fusing.
• Flashback Amethyst's antics are hilariously dog-like. When Greg pays her for playing the drums in food, she holds it in her mouth and worries it like a dog with a toy, and Garnet later manages to get some time to talk seriously to Greg without her by throwing a stick for her to fetch. Worth noting is that this is thousands of years after the Crystal Gems adopted her.
• Pearl does the most ridiculously over-the-top Mic Drop after fusing with Rose in front of Greg. Greg does the same... then immediately realizes he's damaging valuable equipment.
• Amethyst eating her popcorn in the background as Pearl talks to Greg.
• Greg trying to dance like Pearl. It doesn't go well.
• Amethyst stumbles across Greg, passed out from the exertion of his dance practice, and bluntly asks "Hey! Are you dead?"
• After Garnet gives Greg some advice, she takes off her glasses, revealing her third eye.
  Greg: Eye! ...think I get it.
• Rose truly is Steven's mother: when Greg stuns her with a kiss, she gets Steven's star eyes.
• This lovely bit:
  Greg: Look, these last few months have been great...
  Rose Quartz: [sultry voice] Oh, yes...
• While it leads up to some serious Mood Whiplash, this exchange is rather amusing:
  Greg: I'm starting to worry about the future...
  Rose Quartz: Just ask Garnet!
• When Greg asks Rose how she met the other Crystal Gems, we cut to the Gems watching from behind a giant stone hand on the beach.
  • Even funnier is the fact that he refers to the three as "Harpo, Groucho and Chico".
  • Amethyst isn't even trying to hide, and even waves at the pair.
• There is just something so hilarious about how jealous Pearl is and the lengths she goes to show Greg that she is closer to Rose than he is.
• Rose's general response to Greg's declaration of how loving her is torture, after he tells her to not be sorry. Just the tone with which she says:
  Rose Quartz: What?! Why not? Oh, I'm so confused!
• There's something funny about Greg's record collection, and the completely random names of the fictional bands. He puts on a record by the Philosophy Majors called "Nietzsche's Breakdown" ...which turns out to be an incongruously-upbeat piece of psychedelic pop rock.

"Chille Tid"

• Steven looking for Lapis underwater by having Amethyst hold him by his ankles over the side of the inflatable raft they're using.
  • And then when Steven starts running out of air, Amethyst can't remember if the signal to haul him back up again is "one squirm or two".
• Amethyst actually refers to Pearl as pierogi with her first line of the episode!
• Steven flopping on the floor of the raft like a fish.
• The entire conversation about the life jackets, especially Pearl's dislike of them and reference to them as "life diapers".
  • When Steven tries to give Garnet a life jacket, she throws it overboard and shapeshifts a cooler-looking one in her colors instead.
• Pearl of all beings misusing light years, and Amethyst calling her out on it... but just saying that they're about "light".
• Steven being so tired he walks off the side of the raft, and Garnet catches him.
  Steven: First one to catch something wins.
  [Steven walks off the raft, Garnet catches him by grabbing his foot]
  Garnet: I win.
• When Steven notes that the Gems look exhausted, we get a Gross-Up Close-Up of the three of them with age lines and messed up hair.
  Garnet: [stubbornly, through gritted teeth] We look AWESOME.
• Garnet tells Pearl and Amethyst to stay and relax while she goes to look for Malachite.
  Garnet: [gritted teeth] Cause I'm always relaxed.
• Garnet's line before warping away sounds like something a mother heading out for the night might leave on a note or an answering machine.
  Steven, put these Gems to bed. Don't stay up too late; there's snacks in the fridge. Bye.
• Steven's sitcom-like dream with Pearl as the mother and Amethyst as the rowdy sister, complete with a laugh track.
  Pearl: Amethyst, what did I tell you about riding that thing in the house?
  [Amethyst skates past on a skateboard]
  Amethyst: Have fun at your dance, dude.
  [Pearl gives a frustrated grunt as Amethyst skateboards up the stairs]
  Amethyst: Bunga-cowa!
  Pearl: [chasing Amethyst up the stairs] Amethyst, I'm gonna get you!
  • And then Garnet shows up... and she's the equivalent of The Fonz or something because the audience starts cheering like crazy. Later on, sitcom Garnet appears in Steven's third dream as one of the things he labels as "not Lapis"◊.
• To help Pearl go to sleep, Steven talks about a dream he once had, however the dream just drones on until both Steven and Pearl go to sleep.
  • The dream Steven talks about is how he suddenly found himself inside the back of Greg's van from exiting the Big Donut, except instead of Greg driving in the front seat, it was Lion. Not only that, Steven seemed more surprised that he was driving really well.
• There's something amusing about the way the Pearl cloud eats the Steven-Copter and spits him out.
• Dogcopter meowing like a cat in Steven's dream.
• Amethyst riding a whale.
• When Steven wakes up a second time, we find Amethyst laughing at an amusing dream that Pearl is projecting of her and Rose traveling the world. When she talks about Rose leaving Greg, Rose turns her head only for Pearl to see it has the face and voice of Greg, who proceeds to open his mouth and a slice of pizza slides out like an old Polaroid insta-matic picture.
  Rose Greg: Pearl. Thank you so much... FOR FIXING MY VAN!
  Pearl: [screaming]
  • Hell, the surfboard they're riding is a pizza slice too!
  • The noise she makes upon awakening.
  • When Steven needs to go back to sleep, they ask Pearl to tell about it since talking about dreams is boring:
    Pearl:' Me?
    Amethyst: Come on, Pearl! It's for the greater good!
    Pearl: Well, if I must. So, in my dream I was–
    [Steven is deep asleep, snoring loudly]
    Amethyst: Ha, wow, he been asleep!
• Garnet, who comes back at the end of the episode, shows the others the proper way to sleep... faceplanting on the sheets.
  Pearl: That's pretty convincing.
• Steven attempting to sell Pearl on his slumber party idea.
  Steven, cheerfully: All of us together, peacefully dozing off! It'll be like there isn't a vengeful Fusion boiling the ocean with hatred!
  • Before that, Steven says it will be fun and Pearl acts like she's unfamiliar with the word.
    Pearl: Fffffffffun?
  • When Pearl tries to escape the scenario by begging Garnet to come, we get this beautiful conversation:
    Pearl: Let me– er, us help you! We're a team!
    Garnet: No, right now you're a party. A slumber party.
• Though somewhere between Nightmare Fuel and Tear Jerker with how Steven woke up from his nightmare with Malachite, his attempt to tell Garnet what happened is hilarious.
  Garnet: That is a weird party.
  Steven: Garnet! Amethyst was on a skateboard and then Dogcopter meowed at me and was just not interested in what I had to say at all and I might have some issues I have to work out...
• The title card (from the official blog) being a parody of funny Splash Mountain pictures, with Garnet chilling with a newspaper and a cup of coffee, Amethyst slapping her butt while Pearl tries to avoid her hair, and Steven asleep with a pillow and blanket.

"Cry for Help"

• With how overcome with excitement she is, Pearl's crying with joy at Garnet's invitation to fuse results in some pretty hilariously extreme faces.
• Amethyst pointing out how weird Crying Breakfast Friends is.
• Sardonyx's face◊ when she says "elegant!".
• "Amethyst, get your head out of the fridge!"
• Steven and Amethyst eventually decide to spy on the communication tower in order to see if Peridot comes back. Steven thinks he's spotted her, but it's just "some weird cactus".
  • To be fair, we get a shot of the cactus and it is distinctly Peridot-shaped.
• While waiting for Peridot, Steven is doing a little optical illusion with his fingers. Amethyst tries, but isn't able to do it before Steven moves her bangs away from her eye.
• Garnet watching an episode of Crying Breakfast Friends with Steven. She's just as confused about the show as Amethyst is.
  Steven: But it's a really good one so far!
  Garnet: Not really.
• Although a tad on the dark, sad side, Amethyst's remark at the end.
  Amethyst: Why can't things work out the way they do in cartoons?
• Sardonyx has a Noblewoman's Laugh.

"Keystone Motel"

• The episode picks up shortly after the events of "Cry for Help", with Garnet still mad at Pearl and not talking to her. Then Greg bursts into the room with a big ol' smile on his face.
  Greg: Who wants to go on a road trip?! [beat] Um, is this a bad time?
• This conversation showing the slight differences between our world and the show's:
  Greg: I gotta drive over to the next state, Keystone.
  Pearl: You mean the Keystone State?
  Greg: Right, the state named Keystone.
• The reason for the road trip: Greg needs a new tunnel brush for his car wash. Steven makes a Call-Back to Season 1:
  Steven: I don't like those brushes, they feel weird on your fur.
• Steven's excitement over the motel room.
  Steven: I'm gonna swim in the pool, order a movie, get free ice!
• "I'm gonna see a man about a tunnel brush... an Internet man. If I'm not back in an hour, call the police..."
• Ruby telling Sapphire that's she's not "above it" just as the blue Gem literally floats up off screen is hilarious.
• Ruby going into the pool while pacing and sinking to the bottom, still pacing and still ranting, eventually causing the pool to boil over. When we check back, the water has evaporated and she is still pacing in there.
• Sapphire in general seems to be the epitome of The Comically Serious: it's clear where Garnet gets it from. "Can't you see I'm completely engulfed with rage?"
  Steven: Uhh, Sapphire? The toilet's frozen.
  Sapphire: Such is fate.
  Steven: Am I fated to pee outside in the grass too?
  Sapphire: Yes.
• Greg being glad that the Internet-person he went to meet "wasn't an axe murderer".
• Greg finding Sapphire sitting alone in a frozen hotel room and his reaction to it. He's more resigned than surprised...
  Sapphire: He's not going to like that it's square.
  Greg: [closes door, sighs] Oh boy. Where's the other one?
• Steven overreacting to a square pizza. "What's wrong with this crazy state?!"
  Greg: Son, there will come a time in your life when you learn to accept all pizza.
  • The fact that Steven's overreaction to the square pizza was predicted by Sapphire in the conversation above.
• Greg continuously tells Steven that they're gonna go to the Best Diner in the World. It seems like he is simply exaggerating to make Steven excited. Cue to them going, only to find that it is literally the name of the diner.
• Ruby's anger in general. Despite the seriousness of the situation, and the fact she has every right to be angry, she manages to make most toddlers look dignified. Even funnier when coupled with Sapphire's absolute calm... and nonchalant levitation on to the bed while Ruby snarls and paces.
  Ruby: I am an eternal flame, baby!
  [slams the table]
  Ruby: YOU DON'T KNOW ME!
  Sapphire: How can I possibly not know you? We always fuse.
• Ruby and Sapphire being such Sickeningly Sweethearts when making up that Steven blushes and covers his eyes.
• Sapphire's channel recommendation can be a little humorous if 43 happens to be your channel for Cartoon Network.
• Ruby's breakfast at the diner being the only one made into a smiley face. Apparently the diner employees thought she was an angry little child, as not even Steven received a plate with a smiley face on it.
• During the diner scene, you can see Steven hanging a spoon from his nose with a goofy, Comically Cross-Eyed grin on his face while waiting for breakfast.
• Poor Greg having to pay for the damage Ruby causes at the diner... and then at the end of the episode commenting that they can't go back to that diner again.

"Onion Friend"

• Steven trying to keep Onion (with a stolen bag of chips) from escaping the temple. Steven blocks the door, but Onion resorts to dive-bombing through the screen window.
  Steven: ONION! We just put that screen in!
• Vidalia may be a middle-aged housewife, but she hasn't lost much of her edge.
  Vidalia: [showing Steven an old photo of herself and Amethyst] Aren't we the spitting image of mischief?
  Amethyst: Hardly! You're wearing slippers.
  Vidalia: You don't know what I've done in these shoes!
• Vidalia calls Onion her "little troublemaker" while casually tossing away a pair of scissors he managed to get his hands on.
• Amethyst's blink-and-you-miss-it impression of Marty◊.
• Out of nowhere, Onion shows Steven the video of when Vidalia gave birth to him without any explanation.
  "Big thank you to the CN S&P team for working with the Crewniverse to produce an insane 11-minutes of television tonight. #HappyBirthdayOnion"
  — Matt Burnett's Twitter
• This line from the dinner scene, after Onion licks a mashed potato replica of Steven's head and then sits there in silence. Steven's delivery is what really sells it.
  Steven: (genuine contempt in his voice) ...why do you hate food?
• Vidalia cheerfully telling Amethyst not to worry about the Garnet and Pearl situation, because "it'll blow over. You're a rock! ...That's what you are, right?"
  Amethyst: Eh, something like that.
• Onion has a impressive collection of Guys and Gals. Among them:
  [Onion holds up an empty ball]
  Steven: Cool, Invisible Guy!
• The end of the episode, when Steven finally is convinced that Onion is not as weird as he thinks he is... only for Onion to open his mouth and the mouse Steven thought he fed to the snake earlier jumps out. Steven's super freaked-out expression really sells it.

"Historical Friction"

• Steven's "accent".
• "ACTING!"
• This little exchange, when Pearl admits she was there when William Dewey founded Beach City:
  Steven: You were there? Wait, what really happened?
  Pearl: Well, for starters, "ruggedly handsome" seems rather generous.
• When the play is about to begin, Mayor Dewey sits down next to Pearl and tries to flirt with her. She responds by standing up and moving to the very back row, as far away from him as possible. His dejected expression is the cherry on the cake.
• Jamie getting nervous and saying that the play could make or break his career, then amending his statement to hobby when Steven asks how the play would affect his post office job.
• Pearl cheering loudly during the play when Steven appears, in full-on "over-enthusiastic embarrassing mom" mode.
  Pearl: [excitedly] There he is! Hi, Steven! You're soo talented!
• Jamie playing Pearl and Garnet in the play; Garnet is Jamie wearing his "Movie Star" sunglasses from "Love Letters" and a cardboard box colored with black sharpie, while Pearl is him with slicked-back hair and a party-hat for a nose. Meanwhile, Amethyst is played by a mop with a piece of costume jewelry glued on.
  • Jamie has Pearl pegged.
    Jamie (as Pearl): I am Pearl, and I come to you as a messenger of the brilliant... [voice cracks] ROSE QUARTZ!
• Steven portraying his character of William Dewey as a "failure-dunce". He even goes so far as to make him so incompetent that he can't even turn a sail properly.
  William: [after accidentally elbowing off the sail] Ah! I can't even turn a sail right! Why must I always struggle?!
  • And what's Buck's reaction to his accident-prone several-times-great-grandfather?
    Buck: Wow dad, what a loser.
    [Mayor Dewey slides off the chair in embarrassment]
• The conclusion of the play.
  William: I shall name this new land in honor of my first mate Buddy.
  [Jamie-as-Buddy rolls onto the stage on a skateboard, before quickly kicking it away]
  Buddy: I'm alive!
  William: OK, Beach City it is!
• Nanefua Pizza slapping Jamie on the rear as she leaves.
  • Made funnier by the fact that it's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it gag.
• Near the end of the episode, Steven says you should always end with a joke. Then you realize they ended the play with Mayor Dewey's campaign poster. And then Steven, Pearl, and Jamie just stare awkwardly at each other for a few seconds, certainly NOT ending the episode itself with a joke.

"Friend Ship"

• Peridot's actions during this episode are hilarious, with her going full-on Large Ham 80s cartoon villain, complete with her crying her desire to "get vengeance next time" as she flies into the air with her handcopter.
• Steven giving Peridot a cheerful "Good morning!"
  • And when she escapes:
    Steven: Have a great weekend!
    [the Gems stare at Steven disapprovingly]
    Steven: I mean... I hope her weekend is not so great?
• Peridot blasts herself flat on her butt with her plasma cannon's recoil, resulting in yet another hilarious expression.
• Pearl messing up the Crystal Gems' first attempt to catch Peridot at every turn in a desperate attempt to appease Garnet.
• Peridot crawling around on her fingers.
• Steven has to brush off some plantlife so Peridot can hear them at one point. Then she tries to activate a defense system, but has to hit several buttons until she finds a weapon that still works. The communicator even has lag, and Peridot has to take a moment for the Crystal Gems' message to get through before she can retort.
• This exchange:
  Peridot: How does it feel to be so easily outsmarted, you clods!?
  Amethyst: Hey, uh, this is Amethyst, I don't appreciate being called a clod, you clod!
• One might not know if this scene should make a viewer scared or trying to restrain a grin but:
  Peridot: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIIIIIIIE!!!
• Circumstances aside, Steven and Amethyst running around like a couple of headless chickens shouting, "What do we do!? What do we do!?" is an amusing image.
• Amethyst manages to catch Steven, but Pearl and Garnet fall all the way down. Steven asks, if they're ok, and...
  Garnet: We're fine! [trap activates]
  Amethyst: Crud...
• Peridot threatens the Crystal Gems with her Arm Cannon, then points it upward while making the stupidest face ever◊ to blow a hole in the roof to fly out of.
• When Steven grabs onto Peridot's leg to stop her escaping, Peridot tries to get him off not with her Arm Cannon, but by repeatedly flicking her finger in his face.
  Peridot: Hey! Get your touch-stumps off me, you Steven!
  • What's Steven's response to that? He bites her foot!
• Peridot's burst of Angrish when she can't get the old Gem tech to work properly.
  Peridot: GRRRR stupid button here Idon'tknowwhereanythingisRAAAAHHH!

"Nightmare Hospital"

• Connie saying that she needs to assume her "Secret Identity" when she puts her glasses on.
• Steven and Connie's exchange with the exaggerated "eth"s.
• In a Black Comedy way, Connie's mom using an abacus to calculate how long to ground her daughter.
  Connie: I hate that abacus...
• Steven falling over Lion's front after coming out of a portal and catching himself by grabbing Lion's nose.
• Steven explaining that he can use Lion Lickers as a Food as Bribe method to get Lion to listen to him... and then Lion grabs the Lion Licker without even waiting for Steven to unwrap it, causing the two to burst into giggles.
• Connie's calling out of her mother for not knowing the real her has her point out that her glasses haven't had lenses for almost a year.
  Dr. Maheswaran: What, your eyesight just "magically" got better?!
  Connie: YES!
  Steven: [shrugs awkwardly]
• Some of Dr. Maheswaran's faces through the episode are◊ really◊ hilarious◊.

"Sadie's Song"

• Lars brushing Steven off when the latter tries to hand him a Beachapalooza poster. Undeterred, Steven says he'll leave it for him, and places it down at his feet, exactly where he was standing when Lars brushed him off.
• Sadie being adorable and singing while stocking the back room, and Steven watching in awe, especially when Steven starts cheering her on and she gets flustered. When Steven first interrupts her, she suddenly throws the box she was carrying at the nearby wall.
• The concept of Sadie having trouble singing is hilarious if you know that her voice actor is part of the professional comedy/singing duo Garfunkel and Oates.
• Steven discovering that Barb is Sadie's mother.
  Steven: Barb! I knew you delivered the mail, but I didn't know you delivered Sadie!
• Apparently, Sadie's mom once beat up an umpire.
• Steven's Beachapalooza act two years prior led to the organizers instituting a rule that all performers must be clothed.
• Kiki Pizza doing a comedy act, with Nanefua as her "ventriloquist dummy".
• Jenny being a little too excited at the thought of someone getting hurt by a juggling accident.
• Jamie as a mime. That is all.◊
  • Made ever better by the teens' rather unimpressed reaction to it:
    Jenny: The box, he's doing the box.
• When her stage fright gets to be too much and Steven tries to "fix" her makeup, Sadie dunks her head in a cooler of water in a fit of pique.
• Steven performing Sadie's routine in her place at the end of the episode... complete with a midriff-revealing outfit, makeup, and dance moves. And apparently Nanefua Pizza saw it coming: "That 'Mystery Guest' bit had Steven written all over it."

"Catch and Release"

• "Goodnight, ominous triangle at the foot of my bed!"
• When Peridot's arms and legs are left behind, Amethyst thinks she was blown to pieces instead of being poofed. ("Ewwww, sick, there's bits of her all over!") Then she throws them all into the ocean and sarcastically pretends it was an accident. Steven later apologizes for that.
• Peridot's increasingly humorous Freak Out sessions.
• Amethyst pretending that she's Peridot, come back to kidnap Steven, then asks to confirm that it's been long enough to joke about it, to which Steven replies that it's only been an hour.
• When Amethyst asks why Steven has Peridot's foot, he asks her if she thinks it's lucky. She replies that it wasn't for Peridot.
• After both of the above, Amethyst tells Steven that she'll be in her room eating garbage.
• Steven sliding down the tube in the Burning Room and doing a flip, only to land hard on the floor and have to limp away.
  Steven: Triple 550 Deluxe with No Cheese! [crash!] ...Yep, perfect landing...
• Steven's reaction to Peridot's reformed body after she loses her technological limbs, revealing that she's the exact same height as him.
  Steven: You're like an angry little slice of pie!
• Peridot's and Steven's interactions in the Burning Room, where Peridot resorts to slapping at Steven in an attempt to attack him.
• Steven flicking Peridot in the nose with the "what's on your shirt" trick, especially since she doesn't seem to know what a shirt is, making it especially funny when she does it to him in an attempt to escape and gets it wrong, only saying "What's your shirt?"
  • And Steven starts to answer the question.
• When Peridot escapes the Temple and into Steven's house, she shouts out "Freedom is mine!"... while the Gems are sitting at the dinner table right behind her. When the Gems burst into action, Amethyst stuffs an entire pizza (and box) into her mouth first.
  • Just the way each party stares at each other, complete with Peridot slowly turning her head around.
  • Peridot, in her escape attempt, also blithely jogged right over the Warp Pad a.k.a. her best escape route.
• Peridot tries to run away from the Crystal Gems by running on all fours! It's just like parents running after a playful child.
• Peridot trying to create a diversion to get away from the Crystal Gems. It doesn't work.
  Peridot: Look over there! Another planet to betray!
  • Later when she jumps down from Steven's bedroom to avoid Amethyst, she bounces off the couch and lands on her face.
• "You may have won the war, but the battle isn't over, crystal clods! Nyaahaahaahaahaa!"
• Pearl asking if they should tell Peridot that she's hiding in the bathroom.
• When Peridot decides to use the toilet to escape, Amethyst tells her she can't flush herself down the toilet. Amethyst has tried that before.
  • Accompanied by the image of a pissed-off Peridot spinning around in the toilet as it flushes. What's funny is that it's reminiscent of another small green alien with a squeaky voice.
• Another Amethyst bit:
  Steven: She knows something; something that's made her scared.
  Amethyst: Duh, homegirl knows we're gonna beat her into a green pancake.
• Peridot getting surprised by Garnet calling out to her and falling off the sink.
• It seems that Peridot and the Crystal Gems might actually have a conversation when Garnet tries to talk things out with Peridot. Then Peridot calls her a Fantastic Slur ("filthy war machine"), and Garnet immediately responds "Okay, let's kick her butt."
• While messing around in the bathroom, Peridot accidentally turns on the hot water, and Steven tells her that she has to turn the knob the other way to get cold water.
• Peridot making faces in the mirror.
• Peridot's attempts to escape the bathroom become increasingly pointless and unhinged as time goes on, culminating in her hanging from the shower curtain rod, screaming at the Crystal Gems through the door while brandishing a plunger.
  • It should be noted that during all the time Peridot spends frantically running around the bathroom looking to get out, there's a perfectly good window right next to the mirror.
• Pearl genuinely considering keeping Peridot on a leash. Guess what ends up happening three episodes later...
  • Pearl at first laughs at her own idea before seriously considering it.
• Steven having to pee outside. Again.
  Amethyst: Just pee in the ocean bro, like a feeesh.
  Steven: What is it with you guys and making me pee outside?!
  Amethyst: Well I have fun doing it.
• Steven enters the bathroom again the next morning by giving Peridot her foot back. As he does his morning routine, Peridot questions if every object he touches is a weapon.
  • Taken to its logical conclusion:
    Steven: Now do you mind moving [off of the toilet]? I have to use that.
    Peridot: ...For what?

"When It Rains"

• The very fact that the Crystal Gems are arguing with Peridot through the door... while Steven is in the bathroom. He apologizes for interrupting their "interrogation".
• Amethyst asking if the Cluster is made of granola.
  Peridot: What's granola?
• Pearl making this face when Peridot refuses to crack.
• Pearl lampshading how Peridot is a Harmless Villain without her limb enhancers. Cue response from Peridot.
  Peridot: I'm not harmless!
  Pearl: Oh hush up!
• The first clip is funny in a heartwarmingly adorable way, as Garnet makes a dramatic announcement out of telling Steven she loves him.
• The first two promos were harmless, with one falling solidly under Heartwarming. The third? Peridot hears a thunderbolt, kicks open the bathroom door, and charges out so fast she bounces off the wall. Her wide-eyed expression does not help. This Gem was once feared.
• Steven running around in the rain whooping and hollering.
• Peridot repeatedly denying that she's gonna "crack". Her voice does.
• When Peridot finally cracks and tries to tell Steven about the Cluster, she announces that she has information to share with him. Steven tells her that he already knows she's been using his toothbrush.
  Peridot: What? No! ...well, yes, but that's not important.
  • This post by a storyboard artist shows her using the wrong end, thinking it'll protect her from cavities.
    Peridot: [thinking] Like hell I'll let "cavities" get me before the Cluster does.
    Artist's note: Hell is not an on-show term.
• Peridot assuming that Steven was made in the Kindergarten, and her reaction to learning that he's a Half-Human Hybrid.
  • She completely loses interest when Steven tells her that he calls the story of his birth "The Ballad of Rose and Greg".
• Peridot showing off to Steven in her unique way.
  "I wasn't lucky enough to be around for that, but I read over a few hundred years of REPORTS!" [gives a proud thumb point to herself, smiles and laughs]
• Peridot first failing to rip off a panel Steven manages to remove with little effort, then having to get a boost from him to lower the control panel so she can reach it.
• Steven tells Peridot that she has to hold his hand when they go to the Kindergarten. When they step off the warp pad, they fall off a fairly tall cliff and both faceplant on the ground. Steven, still face down, reaches over and puts his hand over hers. Apparently Peridot forgot that she can't Wall Run without her limb enhancers.
• When Steven summons his bubble around himself and Peridot and they have to outrun the Gem Mutants:
  Steven: Let's run into this corner!
  Peridot: Oh no! We're cornered!

"Back to the Barn"

• Peridot explains the Cluster to the Gems as diagrams on a cardboard box Steven is under. Steven also uses a sock puppet to represent the Cluster.
• How Peridot gathers material in Steven's room/house. She grabs something, declares it may have a use, then proceeds to smash it. One has to wonder if they actually have any use, or if she's getting petty revenge by smashing what she believes to be the Gem's property. Naturally, Steven doesn't take too kindly to Peridot trashing his microwave, telephone, and TV for spare parts, and eventually stops her.
  Steven: Wait! I have a better idea that doesn't involve destroying the house!
  Amethyst: Classic Steven...
• Steven drew a cute little drawing of a drill on the chalkboard, and is spinning around on a swivel chair. When Pearl tells him that the final product won't look like the drawing, he squeaks to a stop with a frown.
• Peridot dismissing Pearl like one would a servant. When Pearl stays where she is...
  Peridot: Hmm. Good, yes, this is adequate. Thank you. You can go now.
  Pearl: Um, what?
  Peridot: Hm? Um, that will be all? [claps hands]
  [short awkward pause]
  Peridot: [out of the corner of her mouth to Steven] How do you get her to leave?
• Steven trying to wrap his head around the idea of there being multiple Pearls.
• Although it's a bit dark, Peridot starts poking at Pearl and mentions that she looks like an "fancy" model of the Pearl type while inspecting part of the bow on her back. There's something weirdly funny about Pearl blushing, and about how casually rude Peridot is being. At one point Peridot says that Pearls are only meant to stand around looking nice while holding things for other Gems, then adds a confused "right?" indicating she's not around them that often.
• Peridot says that she should be in charge of the drill project due to her being a "certified Kindergartener". Granted, it means something different to her, but that doesn't stop it being funny.
• Steven pitching the idea of a robot competition.
• Peridot holding an electric drill upside-down and dropping it.
• After both robots are done being built, Peridot complains that even Pearl's robot is taller than hers.
  • Pearl even uses it to claim victory like a child.
    Pearl: Mine's taller. I win!
• Amethyst and Garnet sitting and watching the competition while eating popcorn.
  • Garnet is even tempted to try a piece, but decides against it before she pops it in her mouth.
• During the robot competition a speed round is held, while both Pearl and Peridot's robots are equal in speed, they don't notice a tree is about to hit them. The tree ends up winning the round and is added to the chalkboard.
  • In one round, the robots play "Rock, Paper, Scissors". Pearl's robot at least has something like fingers, but Peridot's robot just has a big claw. We never find out who got the point for this.
  • Another round involves them painting Amethyst. The two end up tying due to "subjective interpretation".
    • Keep in mind, Peridot's painting is just a purple squiggle, while Pearl's is at least recognizable as Amethyst.
• There's something amusing about Pearl thumping Peridot during their scrap toward the end.
• Amethyst being extremely enthusiastic about the robot brawl and Pearl beating up Peridot.
• Steven when the robot fight starts: "Stop! Giant robots shouldn't fight!"
  • The fact that immediately after he says that, Amethyst jumps in to chant "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
• Steven ending the episode by pretending his Cluster Hand Puppet is attacking him.
  Steven: [after his hand puppet "attacks" him] Aah, we're doomed!

"Too Far"

• Pearl telling Steven and Amethyst that she needed tungsten, not what they brought. Steven, confused about tungsten is, asks what it looks like, leading Amethyst to stick out her tongue.
• Peridot decides to mouth off to Garnet about how Garnet's Fused state makes her feel "incredibly uncomfortable". Cut to Garnet tying Peridot to a fence with a leash around her torso.
  Peridot: Wha– what did I say?
  Steven: [to Garnet] Did you really need to do that?
  Garnet: Her having free reign of the place made me "incredibly uncomfortable".
  • The leash keeps Peridot from grabbing a screwdriver that she needed.
  • Notably, this got one of the loudest crowd laughter when this episode premiered at a Con. During the several seconds Garnet was just staring, there was even an anticipatory "Wooooohhh!" as the entire crowd waited for her to do something hilarious. They shouted things like:
    "Woo!"
    "Oh hell no girl!"
    "Oh shit."
• Peridot using unnecessarily complex language to describe ordinary things. To her, a screwdriver is a "leverage optimizer", a nose is a "scent sponge", an eye is a "vision sphere", fingers are "touch stumps", legs are "gravity connectors", and a butt is a "butt".
  • Peridot starting to get frustrated as Amethyst keeps asking her what she calls certain things.
• After Steven and Amethyst crack up when Peridot says "butt", Steven says that Peridot is "killing him", and Peridot is Literal-Minded about it until Amethyst clarifies.
  Steven: Oh man Peridot, You're killing me! [slaps hand onto microwave]
  Peridot: I am not! That would violate our truce agreement!
  Amethyst: No, no, no, you're funny!
  Peridot: [utterly bemused] Funny?
• While at the Kindergarten, Peridot rips into Garnet about her maintained Fused state, much to Amethyst's delight. Peridot even goes into how she's not even fighting while she's Fused and more of... something else. Peridot bumps the top sides of her fists together, making Amethyst burst out in laughter and Steven looking rather confused.
• Peridot also tears into Steven's Half-Human Hybrid state, with Amethyst absolutely dying of laughter.
• Steven has given Peridot a tape recorder in apology for them breaking her stuff. She uses it for making notes on things such as calling the Crystal Gems clods in a variety of ways. One of her notes is that she's running out of ways to do so. Another is on Pearl's more neurotic behaviors, which include "random outbursts of singing, crying, singing while crying"...
• When Garnet and Pearl come back and see the mess, Garnet blames the cows.
  • Which is a Brick Joke from the beginning of the episode where Garnet says she's "Chased away those cows."
• Garnet with a straw in her mouth. Garnet talking with a straw in her mouth.
  • Garnet was on top of her game throughout the episode.
    Garnet: [offscreen] She's not going to the Kindergarten without a chaperone!
    Peridot: What? Are you joking?
    Garnet: You'll know when I'm joking.

"The Answer"

• The Homeworld Gems are sent into Stunned Silence by the sudden fusion of Ruby and Sapphire, completely forgetting about Rose and Pearl, who then take the opportunity to escape:
  Rose: Let's go.
  Pearl: Uh... bye! [they disappear in a flurry of rose petals]
  • It's even funnier that despite all this, Rose still shows her manners and gives a quick good-bye handwave.
• Ruby's freak-out when Sapphire drags her out of the arena.
  Ruby: WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNG?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
• Garnet recalls how Sapphire, stunned by how Ruby changed her future, was "frozen" with indecision... then we see Sapphire being literally frozen to the ground by her ice powers.
  • Then upon seeing Sapphire's eye for the first time, Ruby has a little spurt of Power Incontinence too and sets the ground and twigs at her feet alight.
• Garnet's second time alive, getting used to her new body, gives us this wonderful line:
  Garnet: I was back. I was someone and I didn't know who. But, I felt like I was getting the hang of my strange new form... [Beat] and then I fell.
  • Cue Garnet tripping and rolling down a steep hill.
• Garnet referring to Pearl as a "terrifying renegade". It made sense in context, but it's still Pearl.
• A meta (and possibly unintentional) example, but when the fans learned that the three Rubies were going to fuse, they were stoked to see what a Fusion of multiple Gems of the same type would look like. The end result literally just looks like a giant version of Ruby.

"Steven's Birthday"

• Peridot's only appearance in this episode has her pointedly not getting involved in the celebrations, especially after Amethyst pops a balloon with a crude Peridot face on it.
• Connie's parents have become less strict since "Nightmare Hospital", but Connie still says they wouldn't let her spend the weekend with Steven unless she was prepared for anything. This includes bringing a defibrillator.
• Connie's bug-eyed Spit Take when she learns Steven's real age.
• Steven stretches himself to look older, losing a lot of his baby fat in the progress.
  Amethyst: Steven, your neck.
  Steven: Uh, what's up with it?
  Amethyst: YOU HAVE ONE!
• Steven throws the top of his present box away... right on Lion's nose. And he doesn't even care, he just goes back to sleep.
• Garnet tries to cheer up Steven with funny faces after he reverts to infancy, but it doesn't work.
  Garnet: Our power means nothing to an infant...
  • Amethyst tries to hand baby Steven to Pearl. Pearl's response?
    Pearl: OH NO NO! Don't give him to ME!
• Amethyst as baby Steven's car seat.
  Amethyst: Baby Steven needs changin'.
  • It becomes extra surprising if you didn't notice and was more focus on the conversation. It makes you wonder where Amethyst popped up from for a moment.

"It Could've Been Great"

• Peridot talking to herself, trying to figure out what's so special about "music".
• In a Freeze-Frame Bonus, when Peridot is flinching after Garnet touches her back, you can see the former having four pairs of flailing arms!
• The thing that gets Lion going is not the threat of the Earth's destruction or no Lion Lickers, it's that Lion will get no more naps.
• The group riding on Lion's back to the Moon is quite amusing thanks to a certain someone:
  Steven: Pretty cool, right?
  Peridot: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
• In reaction to Peridot's character development, Steven says "It seems like only yesterday she was trying to kill us", to which Pearl replies that it was several weeks.
  • It could also be a dig at the show's Schedule Slip, what with the several months' wait between episodes.
• When they get to the Moon base, Amethyst walks up to a big door and opens it. It opens onto a lunar landscape with a spectacular view of the Earth... and the air starts venting out. She closes the door and tells the others "Yep, we on the Moon!"
  • In response, Pearl lets out an exasperated "Amethyst, please don't blow us into space!"
• Amethyst is disappointed that she doesn't get to jump around in micro-gravity like Steven can.
  Amethyst: Hey! Why can't I be a Moon boy?
  Peridot: We're Gems, we're a space-faring race designed to conquer other worlds. Our physical forms adjust automatically to the gravity of any planetoid.
  Amethyst: Ahhh, lame.
• Steven, once again, making another giant leap only to faceplant into the ground.
• After Peridot insults Rose Quartz, pissing off the Crystal Gems, Steven tries to break up the tension by awkwardly singing. It doesn't work.
• A retroactive one: The fact that RONALDO of all people correctly named the Diamond Authority and guessed their plans for Earth.

"Message Received"

• "Save your strength! You're up against one of the Earth's greatest trapping technologies... THE CHILD SAFETY LOCK!"
  Peridot: [gasps] NO!! No! How could you do this to me, the great and lovable Peridot? I thought we were finally friends like you wanteeeed!!
  • While locked in the truck and Steven having shut the barn door behind him, Peridot repeatedly honks the horn. Steven gives an annoyed look, pulls up his jacket hood, and mutters "I see she knows what a horn is now." He then pulls the drawstrings on it, closing the opening and causing his hair to resemble a fur lining.
  • Even better is how Peridot bests said elite trapping technology.
    Peridot: Your invisible rotary shield was no match for me once I applied logic!
    (Translation: She rolled down the window.)
    • Which is hilarious anyway, because the window was already partially open when Steven "trapped" her. She thought she was locked in an airtight cage, just like with the bathroom.
• Amethyst had some ideas for cool nicknames for Peridot, but after learning of her betrayal she's too angry to think of insulting nicknames. When chasing Peridot, she came up with "Perisnot", which Steven compliments her for. After Peridot calls Yellow Diamond a "clod", Amethyst calls her "Peridactyl".
• Amethyst shape shifting into a HELICOPTER to pursue the escaping giant robot-riding Peridot.
  Amethyst: Get in.
• Pearl tries to comfort Steven by telling him he can feel horrible all he wants back at the temple. Steven's reaction just sells it.
• Yellow Diamond's Pearl being so smug and stuck-up that she makes regular Pearl look as calm and laid back as Greg.
  • Pearl having to tell Steven that not all Pearls know each other.
    • This becomes even funnier after the revelations of season 5.
  • Just the fact that this particular Pearl seems to be acting like she's Yellow Diamond's secretary/receptionist, which she is — or even one of those telephone switchboard people they used to have before it became automated (and cell phones forced landlines into a headlock).
• Yellow Diamond essentially bitching Peridot out over an interplanetary Skype call, and vice versa.
  • After Yellow Diamond refers to Peridot's "incompetence", her Pearl slides into view with a hilariously smug smile on her face.
• Peridot finally snaps and calls Yellow Diamond a clod. And the reactions. Given the looks on everyone's faces, it's evident that on Homeworld "clod" is something seriously offensive. Yellow Diamond's is especially cartoonish and unexpected out of a character that received so much hype for an awesome villain.
  • Clod has a double meaning: it means a foolish person but it also means a clump of dirt or clay, so it also implies that the person being offended is a poorly-made Gem.
  • Another thing that deflates Yellow Diamond's air of villainy is that the background for her control room is reminiscent of the background from Space Ghost Coast to Coast.
• After insulting one of the most powerful people in the universe to her face, Peridot hurriedly gives what's presumably the entirely normal sign-off of "Peridot, out." And she still does the Diamond salute after insulting Yellow Diamond to her face!
• After telling off Yellow Diamond, Peridot hands the communication diamond over to Pearl, then flatly explains that it's probably about to explode, causing a hilarious freak out by the Crystal Gems.
  Peridot (in flat, shocked voice): Can one of you take this?
  Pearl (automatically taking the communication device): Why?
  Peridot (completely unchanged voice): Because it can be remotely detonated.
  The communicator suddenly changes color from white to yellow to red!
  
  • Poor Peridot is so stressed out she simply collapses in a fetal position. And stays there. While the Crystal Gems throw the red communicator back and forth in a panic.
    Pearl: Aah! How do we stop it?!
    Garnet: Just get rid of it!
    Pearl: Eh, here, Amethyst! [tosses the communicator to her]
    Amethyst: What am I supposed to do with it?! [tosses it to Steven, who places it in a bubble, which Garnet then punches into the sky, where it makes a huge explosion]
• Peridot's stressed moaning (as Steven hugs her tightly) can be heard all the way into space!
  • The sound of said stressed moaning is also hilarious in and of itself, especially as it gets increasingly higher pitched with each iteration.

"Log Date 7 15 2"

• The episode opens with Peridot making a log about her standing up to Yellow Diamond, and she's still not over it. In fact, she's gone downright CRAY-Z!
  Steven: Are you gonna be ok?
  Peridot (Recording): I'm a traitorous clod!... traitorous clod!...
  Peridot: [grinning from ear to ear] No!
  • This moment:
    Peridot: I'm a traitor! A rebel! (eyes turn into stars) A Crystal Gemmmmmmmmmmm!
    [still with star eyes and a deranged cat smile, Peridot giggles and rapid-fires the recording]
    Peridot (Recording): Clod! Clod! Clod!
  • Peridot tries to throw her tape recorder away after she declares it a "chronicle of her descent into madness". Garnet comes it at that exact moment and catches it after it bounces of her face (Garnet doesn't even flinch, of course). It all happens in a humorously rapid fashion.
    Garnet: You dropped this.
  • Once Peridot calms down, she worriedly asks if she'll have to put a star on her outfit now that she's one of the Crystal Gems
    Peridot: Am I gonna have to wear a star? Where am I gonna put the star?!
• We finally learn in this episode how Steven convinced Peridot to call him by his name instead of The Steven. It's not nearly as heartwarming as you might think.
  Peridot (recording): He also said he wanted me to stop calling him The Steven.
  Steven: It's just "Steven".
  Peridot (Recording): I said I'd call him whatever I want!
  Peridot: [hisses at Steven]
  Peridot (Recording): He told me that was rude.
  Steven: [holds finger to Peridot's lips in a shush gesture] Rude.
  Peridot (Recording): [begrudgingly] I guess I'll call him... Steven.
• Garnet scolds Peridot for shoving Greg off the barn just to see if humans can fly.
  Garnet: You can't just shove someone off a roof!
  Peridot: Why not?
  Garnet: This is a human! He isn't like us! He's fragile and soft!
  Greg: [defensive] Hey, it's not like a six-pack can save you from that height.
  Garnet: You could've seriously hurt him!
  Peridot: Well, how was I supposed to know that!?
  • There's also something pretty hilarious about Peridot walking up to Greg as he's working on the barn roof, sitting down and staring at him silently for eight full seconds, before abruptly shoving him off the roof. It's like a cat pushing something off of the couch.
• While on chore duty, Peridot tries to mop the floor of the barn with the wrong end of the mop. Then she finds a trunk of clothes, among which is a pair of boxer shorts with aliens on them she misidentifies as a shirt. She slips them on, even admiring herself momentarily... before realizing that Garnet has caught her. Garnet merely gives a supportive thumbs up and comments "Nice shorts", resulting in Peridot ripping them off while yelling "How did those get there?"
• Steven celebrates Peridot's first month stuck on Earth with a "can-iversary" gift: a pair of paint-can stilts with flames painted on them.
  Steven: I dunno what it is about flames, but they just make everything cooler!
  • Peridot's response to his "can-iversary" gift?
    Peridot: Heh heh, as if I'd stoop so low as to tie your Earth trash to my body. Leave me! Go go go go! Go! AND WOW, THANKS!
  • And later that evening, she puts them on her feet and starts pretending she's being admired by the other Gems.
    Peridot: Why yes, Pearl, I did get taller. How correct of you to notice. Of course Amethyst, I will acquire you those Cheesy Chaaaps for you off of that very high shelf.
  • She proceeds to do a hop, and stumbles backward, admiring how they even work in reverse... until she trips over a rock.
  • While Peridot attempts to Fusion dance with Garnet, she wears the paint-can stilts.
• Peridot practicing humor. After clumsily telling the Chicken Joke, she awkwardly laughs at her own joke, then wonders "What's a chicken?"
  • Amethyst later demonstrates while yelling "I'm a chicken!". Funnily enough, this takes place after she's shapeshifted into Lion to surprise Peridot, then Peridot herself. Amethyst then refers to it as "Peri-phrasing".
• Amethyst shapeshifts into Lion for the sake of a pun.
  Amethyst: Ah, come on, P, I'm just trying to Lion the mood. [Beat, then in exactly the same tone] Lion the mood.
  • When Amethyst asks Peridot if she has any requests for what she should turn into, Peridot looks awkward to the side, but then...
    Amethyst: Bok, bok! I'm a CHICKEN, AHAHAHAHA!
    Peridot: I get the joke now!
• Pearl's joke. It's probably better than Amethyst or Peridot's attempts, but Peridot's reaction is priceless.
  Pearl: Hah, yes, well, at least she isn't Lion around anymore.
  [Beat]
  Peridot: [awkward laugh] Ahahahahaha.
  Peridot (Recording): Pearl really tries for some reason and I can appreciate that.
• Peridot spends three days watching a single episode of a camp-themed romance drama Steven recorded, makes a chart detailing the various characters' compatibility with each other, and then goes on a rant about which pairing is objectively the best (through which Steven fast-forwards). In other words, Peridot of all Gems became a shipper.
  • And when Peridot asks if there's more than one episode, Steven convinces her otherwise.
  • When Steven asks how she got so much out of one episode, Peridot's answer is basically every shipper's answer, ever:
    Peridot: It's subtext, Steven.
  • Steven's expressions during Peridot's rant are especially hilarious as, at first, he is happy that she's found something new to like, then he gets more and more exasperated the longer she continues to talk about the show before finally falling asleep. Bonus points for Steven being upside down by that point and sliding down off the couch when Peridot's done ranting.
  • Peridot's made multiple charts, and rips up one of the drafts when Garnet enters the picture. The one she shows Steven is noticeably higher-quality, and yet she spells "analysis" as "analasys". Granted, that chart had probably been made at least 70 hours into her rewatches.
    • It's hard to notice the first time, but she also confused capital R's and A's◊ in that chart.
  • The fast-forwarding shows about fifty different poses of Peridot's, including jumping over the television with a stack of paper and throwing it into the air, her sliding off the couch arm and in the space in between the couch and the wall, and her sliding behind the TV on her back in excitement.
  • YouTubers have managed to slow down the video and figure out what she is saying. It's actually quite hilarious why she believes that Pierre and Percy are the best couple.
  • The best part is that, because there were multiple things which related the campers to the Gems, the Steven Universe fandom immediately began trying to figure out what the shipping chart might mean, resulting in quite an ironic spin on things.
  • The other best part is that the show was apparently written by Mabel Pines. Take a look.
  • Peridot immediately tearing her pairing chart apart after she notices Garnet on the couch in the midst of her ranting.
• Garnet leaving a message on Peridot's tape recorder telling Steven that she knew he'd listen to it and that Peridot will want it back even if she doesn't think so at first.
• Garnet giving Peridot an explanation for permafusion that she immediately gets: Garnet is like Peridot's soap opera OTP.
• Garnet's incredibly blunt offer to fuse with Peridot. Doubly funny when you consider the many sensual/sexual undertones of Fusion between Gems. Garnet basically said "Let's bang."
  Garnet: If you really want to understand Fusion, I can help you.
  Peridot: What do you mean?
  Garnet: Let's fuse.
  Peridot: Oh My Stars! [falls off her seat]
  • When Peridot agrees, Garnet puts on a record. In context, it's music to dance to. With the Fusion-as-sex-context, it looks like she's putting on mood music. It's very sudden and bust-a-gut hilarious.
  • Speaking of fusion, when two characters from the camp drama start kissing Peridot asks if they are trying to fuse.
• A Running Gag in this episode is Peridot's complete misunderstanding of the meaning of a thumbs-up. Garnet repeatedly gives them to her to show approval of various behaviors, keeping a straight face all the while. Peridot, not understanding the Earth gesture, tells her recorder just how awful Garnet is. When Garnet tells Peridot that she's proud of her, something that had been obvious to the viewers, Peridot is shocked. At the end of the episode, both Steven and Garnet do a thumbs-up, which Peridot awkwardly copies during the Iris Out while blushing furiously. It's left unclear whether she gets the meaning yet.

---