Funny / Shrek: The Musical

• Fiona's Sanity Slippage during her "adult" part of "I Know It's Today"
  Fiona:(while tearing one of her books to pieces)
  Cut the villains, cut the vamping
  Cut this fairy tale
  Cut the peril and the pitfalls!
  Cut the puppet in the whale!
  Cut the monsters! Cut the curses!
  Keep the intro! Cut the verses!
  And the WAITING, the WAITING, the WAITING, the WAITING... !
  THE WAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIITIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!
  (sweetly) But I know... he'll appear
  Though I seem a bit bi-polar...
• "This is How a Dream Comes True": Fiona keeps talking to Shrek about all the ways he's not doing the whole rescue thing properly, saying that he's supposed to have his steed waiting to carry them over the rough ground, past the dead dragon. Then she repeats the last part several times, asking Shrek to confirm that he actually did do that. Shrek answers that it's on the to-do list, causing a completely justified Big "WHAT?!" from Fiona.
• When Peter Pan swears he won't grow up, Pinocchio angrily tells him that he's thirty four and needs to shave.
  • Many productions also have Pinocchio acting hilariously stunned when the other fairy tale creatures start singing "Freak Flag".
• The prisoners telling Donkey that Dragon keeps them alive because they sing backup for her. Cue the musical number.
• The Second Act opener "Morning Person" shows Fiona as a parody of the classic Disney Princess (perky, bubbly, excited, kind to animals, etc)...a little bird sings along (like in the movie), leading to them singing. Fiona shrieks a high note, leading the bird to explode in a puff of feathers. Her resulting reaction sells it.
• In "I Think I Got You Beat" Shrek and Fiona compare backstories. Fiona is very smug about her being sent away to the tower on Christmas Eve trumping Shrek being sent away from home on his birthday.
  • The entire song is Misery Poker exaggerated and a riot, but especially the part where Shrek mocks Fiona for her complaining about missing her prom as they perform in unison.
• Lord Farquaad's father is Grumpy!
  • The scene towards the end, where they reunite. While the main joke hasn't aged so well, the line delivery is priceless.
  Grumpy: I suppose my invitation (to the wedding) got lost in the mail?
  Farquaad: Well, maybe if you hadn't abandoned me...
  Grumpy: "Abandoned" you? You were twenty-eight and living in my basement!
• The scene where they have to cross the bridge and Shrek sings a mocking version of Donkey's "Travel Song" to a panicking Donkey.
  "Sing a song, yes, a travel song, that's what you've done all day..."
  • Naturally, Donkey takes Shrek's part as he crosses the bridge.
  "Why me? Why me? Why, God, oh why?"
• While "When Words Fail" is also emotional, Shrek constantly putting his foot in his mouth while rehearsing his Love Confession makes for some funny bits. At one point, he outright stops the song to say that he's in trouble.
• The scene where Lord Farquaad rides in on a prop horse in the hammiest, most triumphant way possible. He would also give his horse different names in every performance (examples include Steven Spielberg, Justin Bieber, Fiberglass, Plastic Horse, and Reference to the Second Movie).
  • Also, when he rides off with Fiona in tow, the horse wheels back like a truck in reverse, complete with the "backing up" beeping noise (even his guards scoot back in reverse).
• In the original Broadway production, Farquaad plays Space Invaders on the Magic Mirror... while taking a bubble bath. (Subsequent productions replaced this with Farquaad working out in a dungeon-like gym, even using a medieval Shake Weight.)
• After Shrek sings "Big Bright Beautiful World" reprise to Fiona until Farquaad shouts "BOOO" at him.
• When Shrek roars at Farquaad's guards, they immediately Scream Like Little Girls and as they do, one of them is screaming, "Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi! I wanna go home right now!" And after Shrek tells them that they're supposed to run away, they nod nervously and then run off, screaming again.
• This gem with the fairy tale creatures:
  Shoemaker's Elf: [Lord Farquaad]'ll listen to you! You're big and scary!
  Shrek: I'm also an ogre, which means I stay on my swamp and avoid large crowds! Or haven't you read the stories?
  Wolf: Ha! You mean those stories that say I'm a "big bad wolf"?
  (The crowd laughs)
  Wicked Witch: Or the ones that say I'm a "wicked witch"!
  (The crowd laughs again)
  Pinnochio: Or the ones that say I'm a "wooden boy"!
  (Silence)
  Pinnochio: ... What? I'm not a wooden boy. (His nose grows; defensive) ... I have a glandular condition.
• Shrek and Fiona's farting and burping contest. That is all.
  • After the contest, when Donkey races to catch up with them, he gags on the stench they left behind.