Funny / Rythian

• During Rythian's playthrough of XCOM: Enemy Within, having already turned Sips into a MEC, he decides to invest the Meld into making Sjin one as well. It seems like Sips and Sjin are going to be cyborg Power Armor Bash Brothers. Sjin then promptly dies not even half way through his first mission, leaving Rythian both stunned and in a serious debt for Meld.
• At the start of the fifth episode of their first Pandora: First Contact game, Turps jokes that he is going to give his colonizer to the aliens, to placate his new alien overlords. This leads Rythian to come up with a plea for when they come after him;
  Rythian: Take the colonizer! Have it all, it's yours, leave us alone! Give us five tiles to live on and eat in our hut! Give us the rite of fire so that we can cook our food! Not alien food, we're eating ourselves here! I'm eating human arms!
  • Episode twenty:
  Rythian: [as he's conquering Parv, Lewis's other long-time ally] Alright Lewis, I can be your best ally, alright? There's no need for any aggression, Parv was a weight, holding you down, as you're reaching for the sky. But I, I can be your wings.

  • Immediately afterwards:
  Parv: Can you be the wind beneath his wings, though?
  Rythian: *deadpan* No. Just his wings. Not the actual wind.

• While playing BioShock: "She just faded away and turned into a lockbox! These splicing things are getting out of control."^note Context: one of the Splicers he's just killed immediately fades away into nothingness, seemingly transforming into a previously unseen lockbox. This happens again later in the episode, leading Rythian to speculate there's a limit on corpses.
  • In another episode, he tries to reassure the Big Daddy that he's not hurting anybody...
  Rythian: I'm just taking pictures of little girls! *Beat* Wait, that sounds wrong.

  • And then he tells a crying Little Sister to hold still so he can get better photos of her!
  • His big long convoluted monologue about accidentally making too many heat-seeking rocket-propelled grenades, following which he leaves an area for (literally) two seconds and returns to find a Big Daddy had spawned in what was a previously empty room. He sputters for a moment and continues on, using an autohack dart on a safe because he didn't know when Australia Day was (the date being the combination for said safe)... And then he finds a giant poster with the date on it (also amusing because he'd actually walked past it twice).
  Rythian: [In an absolutely exasperated tone] ...maybe if I'd looked, I would have seen it!
  • About two minutes later, he finds a safe, screws up the hacking of it, then goes "I'm going to regret using an autohack dart on this...", autohacks it, and sure enough... "I regret using an autohack dart on this."
  • In another episode, he takes offense to a Splicer's voice clips, and proceeds to beat him seven ways to Sunday with the wrench while growling "Shut. Up. Shut. Up. Shut. Up. SHUT. UP!"
  • In the penultimate episode, he has to guide a Little Sister to get to Fontaine. It's a perfect mixture of heartwarming and funny as he tries to deal with the Little Sisters' constant "Hup hup, Mr. B!" (even though they're constantly lagging behind him) - at one point he says "Sweetie, I'm trying to help you, but I am almost out of patience." Of course, it immediately veers into tearjerker territory when the Little Sister ends up walking directly into the line of fire of a turret and dying. Rythian's horrified "NO!" is enough to wipe the smile off anyone's face.
• During his playthrough of Dishonored, Rythian shoots a guard using shadow kill, expecting nobody to notice. Instead, every other guard in the area immediately turns, goes alert, and runs towards where the corpse would have been. And then before he works out how to deal with them, an oil drum inexplicably blows up and takes them all out. Rythian is briefly speechless, and then tries to claim he planned it.
  Rythian: ...okay? I didn't even plan for that! I mean - Of course I planned for that, I'm Daud. Um. No, that was pretty handy. That saved me a lot of trouble.
  • He then proceeds to express his admiration for Michael Madsen and his acting, and goes into a brief monologue in Daud's voice.
  • Then there's his accidental murder of a fellow assassin. Rythian, having just learned the "Summon Assassin" skill, uses it to aid in a fight with a Butcher. While he's attacking the Butcher from behind, the Assassin manages to kill the Butcher... just in time for Rythian's assassination attack to accidentally hit him instead.
  Rythian: [As the Assassin grabs futilely at his slashed throat and then collapses] Oop - what - No! What?! No! [he laughs in disbelief] I - I - Ah... I cut the head... I stabbed - It was an accident! Ah, Jesus. Oh, wow. Okay. [he collects himself] I guess these things happen in the... Combat. Friendly fire. Another life on Daud's head.
  • At one point, he comes across a group of rats and things again don't go quite as planned:
  Rythian: Oh, hello. I wouldn't mess with me if I were you... Rats.
  Rats: [promptly swarm him and inflict damage]
  Rythian: [very rapidly] I said don't mess with me! [more calmly] God. They really need to learn how to listen.
• His ten-minute rant about how badly Thief (2014) disappointed him. As a Youtube commenter put it "I think they broke Rythian."
  • He gets so annoyed by the fact that there is a reoccurring section that requires the exact same log to be moved (every time the player must slide through a certain area, no matter where in the game they are, there will always be a log that needs to be moved). He starts out by going "Yay, it's Loggy!", and by the end of the game it's "Oh, look, everyone - it's FUCKING Loggy!"
• There's something oddly amusing in how he calmly waxes philosophical in Bioshock Infinite... While blowing people's heads off at the same time.
  • Also from that playthrough, he finds an audio recording made by Booker Dewitt (who is the player character). His reaction is to sputter incoherently for a good thirty seconds before squeaking "WHAT?!" in a voice an octave higher than his normal one.
  • Then he runs up to a building (while a character is monologuing about rebellion) and snaps "We don't have time for you, Fitzroy!" He suddenly notices the other characters are about to blow open the door he's standing beside, yells "Oh, god!" and scarpers away.
  • While playing the beginning of the DLC "Burial At Sea", he continually forgets that possession of machines only lasts for a few moments (he only has the basic version of the possession plasmid) and repeatedly gets perforated while exclaiming "But I made you my friend!" He also keeps walking right into the line of fire. (This could be explained by him saying that he was a bit "rusty" on the game mechanics.)
    • In episode two, he has an uncanny ability to sneak up behind and knock out splicers right in the middle of them saying hilariously appropriate lines:
    Splicer: Okay, this one's down for the count -
    Rythian/Elizabeth: *WHACK*
    Splicer 2: Show yourself!
    Rythian/Elizabeth: *WHAM*
• Several of his quotes on his wikia page are pure comedy gold:
  "(To Nilesy) Why don't you take your wood and your dirt, and shove them up your inventory..."
  "The death of Guard Guy shall not be forgotten!"
  (In a forced friendly voice) "Sjin! You little bastard!"
  "See you later, shitlords! No, that didn't fit... *goes back* See you later, sucker!"
  "Harsh words! Harsh words from a man in a melon suit!"
• The beginning of his playthrough of Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor could be retitled "Rythian vs. Caragors". Caragors are wolf-like creatures who display a distinct fondness for chasing Rythian and then chewing on his femurs - one memorable event went like so:
  Rythian: I am a mighty warrior!
  Caragor: *snarls and charges*
  Rythian: Help me help me help me help me HELP ME!
• At one point during his Trine 3 playthrough, his fondly exasperated reaction to Kim and Zoey's pestering him to tell them Swedish pickup lines, which then zips into bewilderment when Kim tries to use telekinesis on a bridge and the thing promptly bugs out, flailing like a worm on warp speed before flying offscreen and vanishing. Of particular note is Rythian saying "Hello" in Swedish, and then telling the girls that he doesn't normally initiate flirting/contact with women in bars, they hit on him!
• Observe in awe as Rythian suddenly belts out the John Cena theme midway through a round of Duck Game.
• During his playthrough of Final Fantasy: X, after getting hit with almost every lightning bolt in the Thunder Plains he confidently states that he'll dodge the next one for sure... Only to promptly get zapped again while he splutters in surprise.
  • Then, during a scene in the inn in said Thunder Plains, his response to Tidus crashing into Yuna's room is a weary "Jesus Christ, Tidus" followed by "Super smooth, Tidus. Su. Per. Smoo. Th."
• His glee at playing a Necromancer in Diablo 3 - he sounds like a kid in a candy shop every time he gets a new move or ability.