Funny / Rush Hour 3

• The beginning of the film opens with Carter directing traffic all to the music of Prince... while doing an almost perfect recreation of the late Michael Jackson's dance moves.
• After an intense chase sequence with Lee and his brother, Kenji, Carter introduces his and Lee's double date for the evening, and informs Lee: "Fat one's yours."
• Carter's reaction to seeing Soo Yung (having last encountered her as a preteen) as a young woman.
• The fight with the tall Chinese guy, including the part where Carter hits himself with nun-chucks.
  • "He's Mi, and I'm Yu."
    • Carter finally puts a stop to it:
      Carter: And I'm about to whoop your old ass, man, because I'm sick of playing games! Yu? Mi? Everybody's asses around here, him! I'mma kick his ass, I'm sick of this!
  • Carter's words to Yu before he leaves: "I don't know what you're feeding him [the giant], but he's TOO DAMN BIG!"
• When the assassins are thwarted at the hospital, Carter tries interrogating one of them, only to discover he only speaks French.
  Carter: What the hell is that?
  Lee: I think he's speaking French.
  Carter: The hell kind of Chinaman speaks French?!
  Assassin: [Continues ranting in French]
  Carter: [Smacks him] Stop that! You're Asian! Stop humiliating yourself!
  • The scene where they have to get a nun to translate for him, who tries to soften the Cluster F-Bomb the goon is leveling at them. And eventually during the T-Word Euphemism session, Lee (who previously convince Carter not to use any swear words in front of the nun) loses patience when the goon insulted him and hypocritically says "Just call him an asshole!" to the nun.
  Lee: Sister Agnes, please ask who send him.
  (Sister Agnes and the Triad assassin speak French to each other)
  Sister Agnes: He said you're both making a big mistake, that one day you will beg for mercy. He also said...
  Beat
  Lee: What? Please, Sister, we have to know.
  Carter: There's lives at stake.
  Sister Agnes: Well, he used the N-word.
  Carter: What? The N-word? You tell this little mother...
  Lee: Carter! (whispering) She's a nun.
  Carter: Sister, you tell this piece of S-word, that I will personally F-word him up.
  (Sister Agnes and Triad assassin speak French)
  Carter: Did he say negro?
  Sister Agnes: He used the N-word again, but this time he mentioned your grandmother.
  Carter: Well, you tell him that his mama's an H!
  Lee: (whispering) Carter, I believe "whore" is spelled with a W.
  Carter: Right W, and his sister's a W, and his grand-mama is a two-bit W who makes double cause she got no T! You tell him I said that!
  (Sister Agnes and Triad assassin speak French)
  Carter: Did he say it again?
  Sister Agnes: No, this time he called this gentleman [Lee] a word that means cat and another word that rhymes with maggot. (in other words, a "pussy faggot")
  Lee: What?! Well, you can tell him he's a A.W.!
  Carter: (whispering) Lee, "hole" is spelled with an H.
  Sister Agnes: We have a dictionary upstairs.
  Lee: Just call him an asshole!
  • Also the fact that Carter and Lee need the nun to be a translator to find out who sent the goon, but the goon only keeps insulting the duo, and the nun has no choice but to translate the insult anyway.
  • For some dark humor, there is when Carter lose his patience and attempt to kill the goon out of anger. But the gun which Lee gave him has no bullet. Carter's response? "I'm trying to kill somebody, man! Damn!"
    • One wonders if Carter was trying to kill him or just trying to scare the guy.
    • Also, once the interrogation is over, Carter says to the nun "Pleasure working with you, Sister". Her response? "Any time, brother!" and high-five him.
• On the airplane:
  Carter: Did you know the average Frenchwoman is naked 34 percent of the time?
  • In the same scene, Carter thinks Lee is too wound up and "constipated" from too much rice in his diet, so he asks the flight attendant for some Gefilte Fish and some Ex-Lax.
• When Carter overhears the intense fight scene between Lee and Dragon Lady, and assumes they're having wild sex.
  Carter: Come on, Crouching Tiger, don't hide that Dragon!
  • Then, when he opens the door and sees the Dragon Lady crawling across the floor to retrieve her knives:
    Carter: (to the Dragon Lady) You are a super freak!
• George, the cab driver that is at first disgusted with Carter and Lee (and Americans in general), but after getting roped into a car chase, can't get enough of the "super spy" lifestyle. There's a great moment during the chase scene when he successfully rids their car of a mook, and he gives a smug grin of accomplishment.
  • Carter forcing George (at gunpoint!) to sing the Star Spangled Banner after he trashes Halle Berry.
• After a car chase:
  Carter: Lee, I'm alive! My whole life flashed in front of me. In three years I'll be married to a Chinese woman. We had three kids, look just like you, only a little darker.
• Carter and Lee smelling like shit on the elevator, and offending a woman sharing the ride with them. Yeah, it's an old joke, but what gives it an added twist is how Carter complains that the woman's dog peed on his foot.
  Carter: Oh, hell no! Lady!
  Lady (smugly): Oui?
  Carter: This damn dog just pissed on me!
  Lee: Good girl.
  • An alternate version of the scene has the woman goes on a long and fast French tirade. ^NoteExcuse me, I'm French, so I speak French. So if you want me to understand, make the effort to speak French. I'm French, my dog is French, and he has the right to piss. He has the right, he's doing a little French piss. We're in a good hotel, mister. So excuse me, but if you want me to understand, speak French. Got it?
• Lee is despondent over his brother Kenji, so Carter tells him a story:
  Carter: I understand, man. I got a brother. My little brother Perry. We used to be best friends. Now we don't even speak. He think I tipped off the cops about his chicken fights in his garage. Can you believe that? My own brother think I'm a snitch. Just 'cause my chicken lost in the semifinals. I didn't even really care.
  Lee: Carter.
  Carter: Fight was fixed, man. My bird was fightin' a chicken that didn't make his weight. And he still went the distance. He had a lotta heart. And he was delicious.
• Carter and Lee sing "The Closer I Get to You" by Roberta Flack.
• This, when they spot Genevieve undressing:
  Lee: Maybe we should put on a dirty movie.
  Carter: (shocked) Lee!
  Lee: Only $9.95.
  • The outtakes portrays multiple takes of this scene, with Jackie Chan making up all sorts of variants.
• Genevieve is putting on something more comfortable, so Carter calls room service: "Send up a bottle of honey and some Red Bull."
  • When Carter is in bed with Genevieve:
    Genevieve: I have never been with an American man before.
    Carter: Neither have I!
    Genevieve: I'm a bad girl.
    Carter: Halle-LUJAH!
  • And Carter says the lyrics to "Lady Marmalade" during the same scene.
    Carter: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi...
• Carter, Lee, and Genevieve briefly hide out at George's house, where his wife is none too happy to be harboring them.
  George: From this point on, never ask me about my business! (wife slaps him)
  George's wife: Come with me, schmuck. Now.
• Carter's reaction to Genevieve taking off her wig:
  Carter: Holy mother of Jesus, she's a man! I went to second base with a damn French man! It's the Crying Games! I'm Brokeback Carter!
  Genevieve: I'm not a man, it's just a wig!
  Carter: You sure about that? Huh?! Lee, go over there and check the hardware! If she got anything in her bag bigger than a 3 ounce, we gon' beat his ass!
  • And later in the scene:
    Carter: You're messed up in some weird shit, lady. I mean, man, whatever the hell you are.
    Genevieve: (annoyed) I'm a woman!
• When Reynard is revealed to be a bad guy:
  Carter: It's over, Reynard. You know what it's like to be an old man in prison? They call you "pops". They make you work in the library. Your best friend, gonna be a mouse.
• In the last brawl on the Eiffel Tower Carter and a mook are fighting, at one point both break wooden chairs on each other and the mook is clearly in pain while Carter tries his best to look like it didn't hurt... and he fails miserably limping away and whipering in pain.
• Lee, I'm gonna kill you if we don't die!
  • "Carter, I'm not constipated anymore!"
• Roman Polański as the French chief of police, who gives Carter and Lee a cavity search upon their arrival to France. Then Smash Cut to Carter and Lee walking awkwardly out of the police station.
  Chief: This will just take a moment. [Snaps rubber glove cheerfully] Welcome to Paris.
  Lee: Oh, shit.
  • Moments later, when they get in George's cab, and he immediately boots them out because Carter's an American.
  Carter: Listen, man! We just got violated by a small Frenchman!
  Lee: Wearing a very large ring!
  • And then he shows up at the end of the movie, after everything's over, leading to this exchange:
    Chief: Congratulations! It seems we finally managed to bring down the triads!
    Lee: We?!
    Carter: You didn't do shit!
    Lee: My butt still hurts!
  • And then they punch him out and walk away while "War" plays over the scene.