Funny / Recess: School's Out

• During the last recess of the school year, the Diggers are busy filling up all their holes so they can dig them up again next year. Suddenly, Captain Sticky emerges from the one they just finished.
  Sticky: Hey, big kids bury me!
  Digger Dave: Oops.
• "Bon voyage, TEEEEEEEEE JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • T.J. and every kid, staring on like "WTF?", when Mikey does that.
  • Not to mention that he shatters the window next to him; the kindergartners then remark, "...big kid sing good."
• T.J. mimicking Principal Prickly's voice with a voice modulator:
  "And I want to inform you all that I have a fat, saggy butt, which I like to scratch every hour, on the hour."
  • And just before that, after Prickly (seemingly) instructed the kids to eat the ice cream and ignore Ms. Finster, she says in a hushed tone "This can't be happening."
  • And of course, the REAL Principal Prickly walking in on T.J in the act.
    T.J: (with the Prickly voice) Why, Principal Prickly, sir! What a surprise!
    • This becomes a Chekhov's Gag later on as T.J. comes up with ideas on sneaking his friends out of camp, using the modulator to pose as "Colonel O'Malley", berating Captain Bradley into submission and giving Gus special privileges while he is still there.
  • A small but no less funny one from Prickly. "I don't hate you, Phil. I just think you're insane!" Which is a Brick Joke of TJ's response to Prickly at the beginning of the film.
• Benedict's Motive Rant:
  Benedict: You see, after all those years, no matter how big I got, no matter how successful, I always thought about you. HOW YOU EMBARRASSED ME! HOW YOU HUMILIATED ME! HOW YOU DESTROYED MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MURIEL FINSTER, THE ONLY WOMAN I EVER LOVED!
  T.J.: That part still grosses me out, sir.
  Prickly: Shhhh!
• Vince getting in line to board the bus to baseball camp, only to see the Ashleys in line, too.
  Vince: Don't tell me you Ashleys are going to baseball camp!
  Ashley T.: Eww, as if!
  Ashley A.: Cheerleading camp is like, across the lake, duh!
  Vince: I hope it's a big lake.
• The scene where T.J. is upset about not having his friends around during the vacation, when the audience is introduced to Becky, who comes into the room right before going to work.
  Becky: Bye Mom, bye Dad...bye T-jerk.
  Mrs. Detweiler: Now Becky, be nice to your brother. He's feeling a little S-A-D right now.
  T.J.: I can spell, Mom.
• When T.J. witnesses some scientists testing a miniature tractor beam, and immediately runs home to tell his parents.
  T.J.: Mom! Mom!
  (runs smack into the sliding glass door to his house)
  Mrs. Detweiler: T.J.! Are you alright?!
  T.J.: Mom! There are these evil bad guys at the school, and they've got a laser beam, and—!
  Mrs. Detweiler: Oh, T.J.! That bonk on the head must have rattled your little brain!
  T.J.: But Mom!
  Mrs. Detweiler: (feels T.J.'s forehead) You're feverish! Wait right here! I'll go get the baby thermometer and the petroleum jelly!
  (Beat)
  T.J.: Uh... Dad! Dad! (runs off to the garage, where Mr. Detweiler is working on his car)
  Mr. Detweiler: What is it, boy?
  T.J.: Those evil bad guys at the school have a laser beam, and they're lifting a safe, and—!
  Mr. Detweiler: T.J., did you run into the sliding glass door again?
  T.J.: No, but... (Beat) Well, yeah, but... (Beat) GAH! (runs off again)
  Mr. Detweiler: Come back! Your mom's gonna wanna take your temperature!
• When T.J. is gathering the kids from their camps and it comes to be Gus' turn, they find his superior officer yelling for Gus to not move a muscle. And indeed, not even Gus' expression changes when the rest of the gang picks him up and carries him off as if he's a statue.
• The gang initially think TJ dragged them just to get them out of camp, but just as they are about to leave, they all see a satellite dish emerge from the school roof.
  T.J.: No, wait! Please! You guys gotta believe me! I'm not making it up! I, I—! Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!
  (The others turn around and gasp in shock to see a huge satellite dish emerge from the school roof)
  Gus: Whoa! What's happening?!
  (The beam shoots at the sky. The gang winces from the brightness of the beam. The beam shorts out, and it lowers back into the school.)
  Vince: Okay, that right there? That was messed up.
  (Mikey faints)
  • Then when Mikey comes to, the gang having dragged him to TJ's in a wheelbarrow.
  TJ: Mikey? Mikey, you okay?
  Mikey: Where...where am I?
  Vince: You're in TJ's backyard, man.
  Mikey: How'd you guys get me here? Hey, this is kinda comfy!
  Spinelli: Yeah, yeah! Get outta there, ya big lummox! (tosses Mikey out of the wheelbarrow)
• The gang finding out that the villains weren't using a laser on the moon, but a tractor beam.
  Mikey: You mean they're gonna plow the moon's surface? Whatever will they plant?
  Spinelli: Not a tractor, you goomba! A tractor beam! Like from a sci-fi movie!
• T.J. and his friends reading Becky's diary entries about her crush on a co-worker.
• The kids at the wrestling camp's version of "Kumbaya":
  Someone's wrestling, my lord, kumbaya/Heads are smashing, my lord, kumbaya/Bones are cracking, my lord, kumbaya...
  • And the revelation earlier that Hustler Kid is also going to Wrestler Camp. Not as a wrestler, he's training to be a heel manager. And also because the kids at wrestling camp will pay top dollar for smuggled snacks. If you know anything about pro wrestling, you'll know that the kid has a bright future ahead of him.
• The scene where they are hiding in the vent. TJ's line: "Sssh, the bad guys are talking!" As they spy on the villains, Mikey chews on a granola bar. The gang have been successful at keeping their cover until...
  Mikey: Uh-oh.
  TJ: What is it, Mikey?
  Mikey: I got that feeling, TJ!
  Spinelli: Hold in, big guy. Hold it in!
  Mikey: I can't! (He posts a fist to his mouth, his cheeks bulging. The others cringe, knowing the inevitible.) BURRRRP!'
  (Mikey's belch echos through the whole lab, startling all the scientists.)
  Fenwick: What was that?
  Benedict: Someone. Had better say. "Excuse me." (The air vent gives way and TJ and his friends fall to the floor) Fenwick, who let children into the school?
  Fenwick: Not me, sir.
  Benedict: WELL, GET THEM!
  • And when Benedict puts his head up at the noise, the expression on his face just reads "What the hell was that?"
• Spinelli headbutting Ugly Bald Guy in the crotch (both an awesome and funny moment)
  Spinelli: GET OFF OUR PLANET, ALIEN SCUM!
• Benedict punishing Rosenthal after the laser suddenly shuts down. Considering how the former is voiced by James Woods and the latter by Tony Jay, it gives off the darkly humorous mental image of Hades sentencing Frollo to eternal damnation.
  Benedict: Dr. Rosenthal? Why did the beam suddenly—oh, what's the technical word for it? Um...stop?!
  Rosenthal: (nervously) Well... as I believe you were told before—
  Benedict: "Told before?" [chuckles, then walks menacingly towards Rosenthal] Do you think I care what I was told before?
  Rosenthal: P-P-Please, sir! I-I-I'll do better next time.
  Benedict: "Next time?" Isn't that cute? Rosenthal, lemme ask ya something. Say you were a teacher—or even better say... the principal of a school, and you had to deal with a delinquent student, a naughty child who didn't know his place, who kept telling you over and over that he'd do better next time... but he never did. What would you do?
  Rosenthal: Oh, no! N-Not detention! NOT DETENTION!
  Benedict: Take him away!
  Rosenthal: No, please! I can fix it! DON'T DO THIS TO ME-E-E-E-E! [is dragged out the room by Bald Guy and a guard]
  • Not to mention that when Benedict asks who's next in line all the other scientists take a step back, pointing to Rosenthal’s assistant.
• Ms. Finster's WTF reaction when she goes to her door thinking it's a pizza guy and instead finds Randall. Not to mention Randall's goofy grin.
• Ms. Finster tries to climb the rope TJ & the gang climbed...only for the rope to snap and she falls right on top of Randall.
  Ms. Finster: (seeing that the rope is about to snap) Uh-oh.
  (the rope snaps, and Ms. Finster screams as she falls on top of Randall)
  Randall: (muffled) Ms. Finster? Could you please get off of me?
  • Then as she tries to go through a basement window:
  Ms. Finster: (squelch/"stuck" noise) I'm stuck! (move legs futilely inside basement) Curse these bodacious hips of mine! Randall, run back to my place and get the butter!
  • As Randall's running home to get the butter, Ms. Finster sees the green laser from Benedict's tractor beam.
  Ms. Finster: What are those kids up to in there?
  • Then when Randall returns with the butter and helps Ms. Finster out, they both see Vince, Gus, Spinelli, Gretchen and Mikey being chased off by ninjas, leaving the two of them utterly confused and horrified.
  Ms. Finster: (horrified to see T.J.'s friends being chased off and threatened by Benedict's ninjas) What the J.P. Morgan is going on around here?!
• In the 1968 flashback, we see a young, attractive woman get off a school bus. Then we hear her talk to Prickly, and it's the same voice as Miss Finster. The exact same voice.
  Miss Finster: Groovy!
• To sneak into Benedict's lab, TJ suggests that he and Prickly disguise themselves as guards:
  Principal Prickly: You sure this is going to work, Detweiller?
  TJ: Come on, Principal Prickly. Don't you watch old spy movies? This trick is pure gold.
  (They walk up two guards.)
  TJ: (deep voice) Uh, Dr. Benedict wanted to speak to us about a very important matter.
  Guard: Hey, you two aren't guards!
  TJ: (Beat) Run!
• How the kids use Mikey as a distraction. He sets himself up on a stepladder and starts singing "Nessum Dorma" from Turandot. When the guards go to stop him, offscreen and hidden by the hedge, they fall into a hole too deep for any of them to climb, courtesy of the Diggers, and lose walkie-talkie service. By the time the head guard goes and finds himself in the same trap, Mikey has switched to "Buttercup" from H.M.S. Pinafore by Gilbert and Sullivan.
• The final battle:
  • Gretchen's last resort of reasoning with Benedict.
  Gretchen: Don't do it, Dr. Benedict!
  Benedict: "Don't do it?!" After all this planning, you think you can get me to stop just by saying "don't do it"?!
  Mikey: What if we say "please"?
  • During his explanation of why he's doing what he's doing, Benedict asks what countries have the highest test scores. Gretchen gives the probably correct "Japan", Vince gives the reasonable "Germany"... and Mikey, for only the creators know what reason, gives "Tierra Del Fuego". This drives Benedict into a minor breakdown as he screams the names of countries that have near year-round snow (Canada, Iceland, and Norway, which none of them actually have).
  • Benedict's Ninja henchmen loses to Spinelli and a bunch of kindergarteners!
  • Becky and Gretchen spray Silly String in the face of one of the scientists; he falls over and writhes on the ground as if he's been shot. The girls check the info on the back of the cans with some confusion.
  • Miss Finster protecting TJ by challenging the Bald Guy to a fistfight. At first, the Bald Guy finds the idea of fighting an old lady to be quite amusing as he prepares to fight Finster, but he underestimated Finster's quick moves before receiving a sock jaw from her fist, knocking him out. Even TJ is amazed by this and happily thanks Finster for this.
  • Not to mention that Benedict, former teacher, principal and Secretary of Education thinks that Norway, Canada, etc, have high test scores because of their long winters and lack of summer. First of all, they most certainly have summer, EVERY COUNTRY ON THE PLANET has summer of varying length and warmth. Second, summer vacation doesn't actually have anything to do with the season of summer itself, it's just how the school year has been divided up. Third, the top-ranked countries have drastically different school systems, not to mention much smaller populations than the U.S. The U.S ranking lower is statistically unavoidable. Of course, the movie implies that Benedict has been driven insane by his constant failure at removing recess, not to mention his "betrayal" at the hands of Prickly, but still.
• While visiting Prickly at the end of the movie, T.J. sees him cleaning up his office of the mess Benedict left. Prickly says that Benedict was always a pack rat, showing T.J. a Norwegian weather map dated to 1956 that Benedict had lying around amongst his papers.
• The Running Gag of the completely useless cops who absolutely refuse to listen to anyone whenever they come in with the news that something strange is happening at Third Street School. Granted, the stories are outlandish, but the officers openly laughing and mocking the people they're supposed to help Crosses the Line Twice into hilarity. Because of this, an annoyed T.J. and his friends find the cops to be pathetic in general.
  Officer 2: (shining his flashlight) Ooooh, look, Hardy! Somebody's levitatin' my doughnut! WITH A LASER BEAM!
  T.J.: (furiously leaves the station) Laugh at me, will ya?! I'M GONNA BE A TAXPAYER SOMEDAY!!
  • Even Miss Finster too finds the officers to be pathetic as they laughed at her story of Benedict's ninjas chasing and threatening T.J.'s friends in which she and Randall witnessed. They even jokingly replied in making a call to Jackie Chan, in nod to his career as an actor and martial artist.
  Officer 2: Hey, I got an idea. Why don’t you go home, get some rest... and we’ll make a personal call to Jackie Chan?
  Officer: Yeah, he’s the perfect man for a job like this. (he and the other officer laugh)
  Finster: (furious) I'm telling ya: SOMETHING IS GOING ON IN THAT SCHOOL!!
  • Even at the end, when Benedict's plan is foiled and exposed to the public, the cops (who were ordered to place Benedict and his men under arrest for their crimes) refuse to care about Benedict's former career or even Fenwick's offer to testify against Benedict.
  Benedict: (being arrested by the first officer) Get your hands off the suit, you CLASSLESS FEEB!! I AM THE FORMER SECRETARY OF EDUCATION!!
  Officer: (sarcastically) Yeah, yeah, and I'm the former princess of Morocco. (angrily shoves Benedict into the police car) Get in the car!
  Fenwick: (being arrested by the second officer) But... it's all his fault! I was only following orders! I'll turn state's evidence!
  (the second officer refuses by angrily shoving Fenwick into the police car in disgust)
  Randall: (disgusted by Fenwick's pleas) Geez... what a squealer.
• When T.J. and his friends are running around grabbing everyone from camp, they get to Mikey right in the middle of his warm-ups.
  Kid: Mimimimimi...
  Kid 2: (higher) Mimimimimi...
  Kid 3: (even higher) Mimimimimi...
  Mikey: (In his usual singing voice) Mimimimi— (T.J. whispers hurriedly in his ear) ME?!

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