Funny / Queen of Thieves

Nikolai's Route

• Jett sees the heroine handcuffed to a chair in Nikolai's room and jovially agrees with her anger at Nikolai, calling him a "total wanker". He declines to help her out, though, not wanting to mess with whatever Nikolai has planned.
  Jett: The bloke's plans always have some kind of butterfly effect. If I help you now, and 18 chess moves down the line it messes something up…
  MC: Less respect, more calling him a wanker.
• In episode 9 of Nikolai's first season, Nikolai retreats into the bathroom when the heroine begins changing clothes; when she teases him about it, he protests that he's just trying to be a gentleman.
  MC: Since when? Nikolai Stirling, you're a lot of things, but not a gentleman.
  Nikolai: I'll have you know that—!
  He's so eager to be right that he pops his head around the door frame... stopping short when he realizes he's ruined his whole attempt at privacy.
• In episode 11, after the heroine and Nikolai get back from their part of the heist and the others ask how it went, one option is "Make Nikolai answer."
  MC: Brag about me, Nikolai!
  Nikolai: [smiling] She was satisfactory.
  Zoe: [pretending to tear up] The highest praise of all time...
• In season 2, the heroine is crafting credentials for Nikolai's persona for the heist, and writes about him owning a painting thought lost on the Titanic. She gets deep into the description of its subject, a nude reclining man who happens to look a lot like Nikolai… then Nikolai walks over to look at her work.
  MC: (Crap! He's gonna see everything about my Fake Titanic Naked Nikolai painting!)
  • Once it turns out she needs to create the painting, which means Nikolai modeling nude for her:
    MC: (I made my sexy Titanic bed and now I'm going to lie in it.)

Vivienne's Route

• In episode 7 of Vivienne's first season, when the rest of the team catch the heroine leaving Vivienne's room (which she never lets anyone in) a second time, they get suspicious. One possible response to what they were doing in there is 'just gals being pals.'
  Nikolai: What were you doing in there?
  MC: Normal girl stuff. Just gals being pals.
  [Zoe nearly chokes on a laugh, turning away while the guys look puzzled]
  MC: (Whoops. Well at least now only one of them has the wrong idea.)
• While the heroine is doing Celine's portrait, Celine mentions that she was quite impressed with "that sample [of your work] your company sent over." Confused, the heroine looks to Vivienne, who tells her it was the last thing she'd worked on — which, as the heroine realizes, was the painting she'd done of Vivienne in a state of undress.
  MC: (Vivienne, you sent your artistic nudes to a freaking princess?!)
• Toward the end of the first season, when the heroine is revealing the con to Celine and that she'd pickpocketed the necklace back to boot, she breaks momentarily from her confident, smug air to admit:
  MC: Um, if it's any consolation, I was actually looking for the keys to your car. [brightens again] But I'll take this instead. Thanks.
• In season 2, the Poppy are planning to infiltrate a secret "elite" society called Il Cerchio, and there's a running gag of them speculating (mostly jokingly) about it being a sex cult.
  • After the heroine successfully gets initiated into Il Cerchio, the Poppy are eager to hear how it went.
    MC: There was one part where they asked me to strip my outer layers.
    Everyone leans in.
    MC: My outer layers. Guys. My jacket.
    Everyone looks just a little too disappointed about that.
• Early in season 2, Vivienne leans over the heroine to look at her sketches, overwhelming her with her scent and sending her into a poetic internal monologue about it. Then:
  Vivienne: Can I give you some constructive criticism?
  MC: No.
• After discovering that her paints were switched, the heroine can wonder if she's being tested:
  MC: This isn't a test, is it? You're not like, messing with me to train my perception?
  Nikolai: ...
  Remy: Niko.
  Nikolai: It's not. But now I'm wondering if that's not a bad idea…
  Vivienne: Nikolai.
  Nikolai: [frowns] Stop saying my name like that.
• In the last heart scene of season 2, Vivienne is wearing her toxic lipstick, but gets around it by kissing the heroine's neck. The heroine is thoroughly enjoying it, but after not too long…
  MC: Uh, Vivienne…
  Vivienne: Mmm…
  MC: That feels so good but, I'm…
  MC: I'm getting dizzy?
  MC: (She mentioned something about soaking poison passively through the skin?)
  Vivienne pauses.
  Then she leaps to her feet, returning with a warm, damp towel.
  Sitting me up, she kneels in front of me on the couch. Vivienne quickly wipes away the lipstick marks from my neck.
  Vivienne: Sorry! Oh god, I'm sorry.
  Vivienne: That was stupid.
  MC: A little. Am I going to pass out?
  Vivienne: No, you should be fine. It's nowhere as potent when not ingested.
  I start cracking up as Vivienne covers her face, burning up with embarrassment.
  Vivienne: Please don't tell the others about this. I'll die of shame.

Remy's Route

• Near the start of his first season, after Remy has explained to the heroine that the upcoming caper will involve the two of them pretending to be married, they return to the hotel - where the rest of the crew greets them with congratulations as though they've actually just gotten married. Jett pops open a bottle of champagne, and Nikolai, as Remy's "best man," stands up and pulls a fully-written speech from his pocket:
  Nikolai: To hoping Remy found a wife who finds his antics charming. May they live happily ever after. Despite his snoring, and the fact that he uses the cream I specifically bought for the cat, and—!
  [Remy snatches the speech out of his hands before he can finish]
• Both Remy and the heroine are thoroughly fed up with Parker well before the halfway point of Remy's first season, resulting in a veritable gold mine of snark.
  Remy: Oh, wonderful. He's talking about another safari he went on... Ask him if he would feed himself to a lion.
  ...
  Parker: What can I say? An animal always knows when there's an alpha around.
  Remy: Au secors! Taste Police, eject this man from France!
  ...
  MC: [regarding Parker's yacht] Tell me more about this gold-plating and how it's not compensating for anything...
• The awkwardness with which the rest of the Poppy excuse themselves when Remy and the heroine decide to have a serious talk at the start of season 2.
  Vivienne: [clears her throat] My gelato, Nikolai…?
  Nikolai: Oh. Thank God. Yes. Posthaste.
  They speed-walk off, with the others scrambling behind them.
  Zoe: I, uh, I want some too!
  Leon: You guys need a designated driver? Just in case?
• The rest of the Poppy brainstorming with the heroine ways to keep Remy distracted. Jett offers to drag him to a pub, Zoe suggests projecting his favorite movie somewhere, and Vivienne… suggests slipping a bit of her lipstick into his drink to knock him out for a couple hours. Possible responses are:
  >Pubs are good.
  >Movies are good.
  >Poison is…good?
  • Selecting the third one, the heroine acknowledges the idea as a viable if undesirable option.
    MC: But like. Please don't actually poison Remy.
    Vivienne: Of course not. Not unless we have absolutely no other option.
    But she and Nikolai look a little too disappointed about it.

Zoe's Route

Jett's Route

Leon's Route

"Becoming the Gilded Poppy"

• The game of Fuck, Marry, Kill between Vivienne, Nikolai and Remy.
  • First Vivienne imitates pointing a gun at Nikolai and picks 'kill' for him. Then she turns to Remy, pauses… and with a smile, also picks 'kill'.
  • Vivienne stealing Nikolai's dessert while his back is turned.
  • Remy, deducing that a man is rich, declares that he would be his trophy husband. Nikolai and Vivienne chime in with suggestions of killing him when his guard is down, to Remy's annoyance.
    Remy: The game is fuck, marry, or kill. Or!
• Neither Jett nor any of the other Poppy members remember what it was he stole on the day he joined them, so when he gets to that part of his story, the item is just rendered as a pixelated blur.
• Zoe confusing Vivienne's advances in their first meeting for threats.
  Vivienne: Come now, Ms. Banks. Don't frown. You'll wrinkle that gorgeous face of yours. [strokes Zoe's face]
  Zoe: (What in the whole, entire fuck is going on here? Is that a threat?)
  [back to the present]
  Vivienne: It's called flirting.
  Zoe: Oh, I thought you were letting me know you could slice my face off at any time.
  Vivienne: What?!
  Zoe: Some random lady knows my full government name and comes up touching on me? There's only one answer. Serial killer.
  • Zoe continues to be oblivious:
    She rests her hand on my knee, giving her hair a flip over her shoulder and me a better view of her plunging neckline.
    Zoe: (Is that where she stashes the weapons?)