Funny / Platypus Comix

• Mulberry
• Electric Wonderland
• Keiki
• Scrambled Eggs
• Princess Pi
• Free Spirit (2014)
• True Believers
• The Island of Misfit Christmas Specials

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Miscellaneous Comics

• The life-size Britney Spears doll from the untitled Guava Guava Kristmas Klassic ("Change its diaper every hour, or else it dies!") seems pretty funny, unless you feel sick of Britney Spears bashing.
• "Awesome Blossom"'s surprisingly accurate depiction of life in the year 2000 includes Blossom encountering a foul-mouthed Weeble.
• Also, the parts where "Awesome Blossom" resorts to recycling Star Wars clips a la Muppet Babies.
• The Head Executive receives a letter requesting that Peter Paltridge review a Spider-Man comic about a subject that the Executive censors over with the word, "DELETED"^note probably child molestation. Mary Jane becomes disgusted after discovering Spidey did a story about this, even though he claims it was for a good cause, so he tries to assure her, "I swear, I've only ever gotten deleted for you!"
• One of the Kimwon features that Vess MacMeal's husband discovers in "Vess MacMeal Starring in: The More You Know!" involves acting as a steering wheel. An ad appearing over the wheel causes him to crash into a tree, but fortunately, the Kimwon can call 911... the ambulance driver crashes into a pole while using a Kimwon to drive to the accident site, but at least that Kimwon can also call 911!
• From the last page of "Vess MacMeal...", Kim Jong Il revealing, "The Kimwon is made of people!" and the way Vess, her husband, and Junior respond.

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Articles

History Channel Department

• In the article on The Boxcar Children, Peter admits that the novelty of the books continuing to gain new installments following the passing of Gertrude Chandler Warner began to wear off on him over time because he steadily grew more and more annoyed with the books' increasingly childish writing and art-style, leading him to add riffs to the books he bought. Some highlights include Henry warding off an approaching clown by singing◊ "Stop In The Name Of Love", The Mystery on the Ice apparently being created by◊ Dot Warner ("Wanna see our pet?"), an illustration of a woman being rescued from a river being turned into a poster for a cheesy chick flick◊, and Violet discovering that Jessie is actually "a giant gnome from Planet W!"◊.
• From "On Beyond Yeller!":
  • The article begins with Peter announcing the revival of an old friend...and he mistakenly puts in a picture of Sam Donaldson as he appears in D.C. Follies.
  • His description of the jokes in Comedy Club:
  "About eight strange comedians shared the show, and their acts were nothing close to funny—they basically all went like, "HEY, YA EVER NOTICE HOW SOME PEOPLE GO LIKE THIS? BLAAEHAAH!! BLEHAGAGHAIAHAGHAAA!!! BLLAIEEIHAAIEIEIEYAAAA!!!!""
  • Peter freaking out over the camel that was used in the intro to the DC Follies episode.
  • Peter claims that the song Sam Donaldson sang in DC Follies was longer than "American Pie", and makes little sense.

Interactive Entertainment Celebration Section

TBA

People Section

TBA

Hollywoodland

• Peter begins "Eulogy for Alf" by saying he originally planned to write a tribute to the then-recently deceased Ed McMahon, but considered changing it to a Farrah Fawcett tribute after she died, but ultimately, he knew he had to write something about ALF's death. After going through a lengthy and fabricated account of Alf's rise and fall, Paltridge announces he suddenly heard that one more celebrity passed away: Billy Mays, who he then calls the biggest loss of them all.
• The comments Peter makes in his Aladdin: The Return of Jafar review about the occasionally ghastly animation.
  [Jasmine]'s fully in the right to distort her face◊ to Spumco proportions...
• When Marie Osmond shows up in the Walt Disney TV special reviewed in "Walt Disney: One Man's Nightmare", Peter decides to share a theory about the fact she lacks visible signs of aging:
  Either she entered that pact with the woman from Death Becomes Her and swallowed her potion, or she's a robot. Which one is more plausible? Well, that woman doesn't exist, so....the robot, of course.
• "Love is Hard" fabricates a scenario about an ordinary man desiring a donut, but having several obstacles prevent him from reaching it. The article compares the donut to the Spider-Man Trilogy incarnation of Mary Jane Watson, defined mainly by Peter Parker's desire for her. To apply the analogy to Spider-Man 3, the story of the man and the donut takes this direction once he finally has it in his possession:
  So before eating the donut, the man runs out for a few minutes, and then comes back with a horrible haircut and an emo attitude. "You've changed, Gerald! I don't want you to eat me anymore!" says the donut, and rolls off the plate and out his apartment door. The tension is sort of back, but it's not the same. And we still don't know anything about the donut, or why it just talked now, or if it was sentient all this time.

• From his review of Chico and the Man:
  • Peter comments that being a matador is just as big of a part of Spain's culture as eating spaghetti, crime and stomping on turtle shells, before realizing that he's confusing Spain for Italy.
  • Some of Peter's reactions to the ads on the tape:
    • When discussing a Toys R Us commercial, Peter comments "Geoffrey soon lost his family in a tragic Cabbage Patch Doll sale stampede."
    • Peter comments on the end of the Rhodes commercial, where the parents decide to leave the house because their kids love the bread they made, has Peter comment "Yes, if you want to abandon your family, Rhodes is the BRAND to BUY!".
    • Peter comments on how useless it would be to buy the game Memory, since one could make the same game using cheaper materials.
    • Peter blames Popeye for starting live-action adaptations of works not suited for that format, including How the Grinch Stole Christmas!.

Stupid Kid Show Area

• As part of his Will and Dewitt review (part of an overall review of Kids' WB!'s final day, Peter reviews the "Small Potatoes" episode...except he describes the plot of RoboCop with Will in Alex Murphy's place instead of the actual episode. All capped off with "From this, I learned to share."
• From the review of Disney Princess Enchanted Tales: Follow Your Dreams:
  • Peter wonders if Merryweather lent her wand to Aurora specifically so the likelihood of Aurora misusing its powers could make chaos ensue.
  • His recollection of how Cinderella Took a Level in Badass in Cinderella III: A Twist in Time includes making her use some gratuitous Symbol Swearing to curse Lady Tremaine.
  • A picture of Jasmine◊ is captioned with "I just made someone's avatar picture".
• From "THE FULL EXPERIENCE" series:
  • The edition centric on Beetlejuice includes a compilation of ABC interstitials hosted by Yakov Smirnoff, bearing the title, "Don't watch this, it's awful".
  • From the one covering Kids' WB!'s first airing of Pokémon:
    • An earlier edition of the same article had a segment in which Peter expresses confusion at the 1997 version of The Mr. Men Show.
    • Peter's spoof of the Reese's Puff commercial.
    • Peter expressing the accents heard in a Drugs Are Bad Public Service Announcement by mispelling words, most notably by spelling "looser" as "wooser".
    • When discussing one of the local spots, he reacts to the sponsor screen with "Oh shut up!".
  • One of the ads mentioned in his review of The Spooktacular New Adventures of Casper edition features a Public Service Announcement with a lady in weird clothes and a man dressed as a bunny singing a song about using the words "please" and "thank you". Peter finds this weird because this is something you'd expect to see on a show for preschoolers, not elementary schoolers.
    • Another ad, for the Wendy's Kids' Meal, has Peter compare one of the "icky grown-ups" to Winnie.
  • During one of the ad breaks on his edition covering the 4Kids Entertainment dub of One Piece, after saying that the then-current Burger King mascots were unnerving to him, he mentions the fact that they were giving away Shark Tale toys in the kids' meals, commenting "There's a creepy Will Smith-faced fish inside every bag!".
• From his page about Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain:
  • Instead of showing an image of "The Cat Who Cried Woof!", Peter shows us an image of an ad for Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped that played before the episode.
  • Peter's reaction after realizing who one of the writers of "Squeeze Play" was, accompanined by an image of Lois:

"Wait a minute.....Alex Borstein? ALEX BORSTEIN??!?!? WHAT????"

• From "Errors In Corporate Judgement":
  • The title of the page itself is "This is the froggiest webpage ever!".
  • Peter revealing that when people complained to Disney Adventures about their article on the Nerd Hall Of Fame'', they didn't take it seriously, instead thanking the readers for nominating the writers as canidates.
  • Peter recalls seeing a Public Service Announcement in which a man dressed as a dinosaur rapped about recycling.
  • Peter apologizes for stealing images from X-Entertainment in the section that talked about PSAs by saying that he doesn't have the ability to make TV screens magically appear.
  • Peter ends the article by saying that "Froggy" is official slang on his website.
• "Five Best Aladdin Episodes" opens with Peter saying "Where it's flat and immense and the heat is intense. It's barbaric, but hey, at 4 PM it's either this or Oprah".

Educational Rockin' Fun Zone

• The stories Peter makes up in "Seven Failed Brand Crossovers" about the origins and failures of Cosmopolitan Yogurt and Clairol Touch of Yogurt Shampoo.
• From "The Top 5 Most Annoying Christmas Carols":
  • When Peter describes how the ending to "The Little Drummer Boy" is predictable, he says be would prefer an ending in which Jesus gets mad at the titular character.
  • Peter's reaction to the "War is over" part of "So This Is Christmas" is that it was caused by John Lennon's hormones.
  • Peter believes SNL should make a cartoon mocking Yoko Ono simply because of the "War is over" part of the song.
  • When Peter describes what he does whenever the song "The Christmas Shoes" comes on, one of the things he says is that he blows up supermarkets because of the song playing on the PA system.
  • Peter giving hypothetical scenarios about people's reactions to "The Christmas Shoes", all of which wind up causing something bad to happen.
• "ABC PSA Insanity!":
  • Peter is confused at the titular character in the Louis the Lifeguard PSA rescuing a drowning potato at first, but then realizes that kids weren't likely to question it since it ran during shows like Laverne and Shirley in the Army.
  • Peter getting angry that instead of making Drugs Are Bad PSAs during the early half of the decade most of the PSAs listed aired in, ABC made a PSA featuring The Little Rascals warning about chewing gum in bed.

Surfin' the Web Section

• "RetroJunk's Greatest Article Ever", being a spoof of the website of the same name, has many of these moments:
  • The "page quote" not being from a retro show, but rather from "last week's episode of Lost".
  • One of Phillip's ideas on how Family Guy should be improved is that there should be an episode in which there is a Crossover with Pinky and the Brain.
  • The picture for Bobby's mother is from Peter's own article on the show's Mother's Day episode.
  • Phillip thinking that Ren is a girl.
  • Phillip's top choice is Christopher Walken.
  • A commenter named smellyman freaks out over Phillip calling Jigglypuff a girl because she came from the era of Pokémon when none of the characters had assigned genders.
• "Where Your Lost Luggage Really Goes" has a Running Gag where Peter claims that Unclaimed Baggage sells people's underwear.

Psychiatry Zone

TBA

Things To Do While You're Bored Division

• The implication in the "Spring 1984" installment of The Ancient Lost Art of TV Guide Advertising of the network television premieres of Time Bomb and Alien becoming Tainted by the Preview, written in a manner that would almost make the reader wonder whether or not Peter accidentally switched the ads' captions.
  (below the Time Bomb promo◊) ONE of these ads is for one of the most famous and well-directed suspense thrillers of all time.
  (below the Alien promo◊) The other is an ad for a cheesy cheap TV movie.
  If you knew nothing about either, and had to pick based on these two ads....which one would you end up picking? Be honest.
• When Peter reaches Amy and the Angel in his gallery of ABC Afterschool Special advertisements, he admits that he recalls seeing another movie with the exact same plot, except that Kermit the Frog played the lead character. (He reviewed that movie a few years earlier.)

The Section Only I Will Care About Reading

• The Garfield and Friends Supapage!:
  • Peter's comments about some of the ads that ran during the original broadcasts of Garfield and Friends.
    • Peter's description of the commercial for Magic Potty Baby.
    • Peter saying that putting the characters of The Amazing Live Sea Monkeys in an ad campaign would take off faster than saying "THEY GOT A PEPPER BAR!", referencing Quizno's Spongmonkeys advertising campaign that went on around the time the article was published.
    • When Peter gets to Rollerblade Barbie and talks about how it got recalled, he starts off by saying it was pulled from shelves because she was still stupid. He later makes a comment that girls made the doll catch on fire by making the doll skate near objects such as hairspray, gasoline and gassy men.

Thing Where the Totally Rad Videos Go

• Peter's textual comments on some of the commercials that played during The Star Wars Holiday Special.

Interviews!

TBA

Lair of Alternate Projects

• The Tail of the Super Dogs!

Other People's Cartoons

• The caption used in "The Perils of Lois, Part II" for issue #192◊ of Superman's Girl Friend, Lois Lane:
  Superman (on cover): Yes, Lana...it's true! I killed Lois Lane!
  Lana Lang (in caption): "You...you killed Lois? ......Does this mean you're free Saturday?"
• "Sabrinas Through Time III" makes the following comment about a part of the Sabrina the Teenage Witch pilot missing from Peter's recording:
  I've been informed that after Libby became human again, she swore to tell everyone what a freak Sabrina was and left. Evidently she still didn't get completely clued in or she would have bowed at their^* Sabrina and the aunts feet from this point.
• In the Worst Comix Ever review of the Pokémon comic, he spoofs the "Can you find (Pokemon)?" gag by placing Katy Perry in one of the comics.
• From "How We Would Revive Animaniacs":
  • Peter claiming that the screencap chosen for Chicken Boo is not a chicken, but a man in a suit.
  • Peter calling one of the segments he wants for the revival "Winnie the Pooh Narrating A One-Shot Story About A Sentinent Object".
  • Peter suggesting a segment called "Meme Time" to take the place of Mime Time.
  • When saying that he wants more animation by John McClenahan, he comments that he also wants a pony.

Dark TV Vault

• The list of Free Spirit (1989) episodes that the studio might have produced if the show lasted longer:
  It's a travesty we were robbed of all the following:
  * The Clip Show where Winnie is "put on trial" by a supernatural court that replays all her past shortcomings, but they let her go when they're so moved by clips of her hugging people
  * The two-part Vacation Episode where they go to Disneyland, and the whole thing is one big commercial for Disneyland with a few very light plot elements to tie together the gratuitous shots of the most popular rides
  * The inevitable episode where Winnie time-travels and winds up in 17th century Salem, Massachusetts
  * The episode guest-starring Boys II Men
  * The Free Spirit/thirtysomething Crossover
  * The really weak final season after Winnie and Thomas have gotten married, Alyson Hannigan has left the series, and an annoying little child has been adopted
• In the article about the Free Spirit Halloween special, Peter follows a montage of young Alyson Hannigan with an attempt to type in her then-unpolished acting style, if that makes any sense.
• From "Platypus Comix Covers The 1981 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!", Peter's response to the multiple scenes of Ed McMahon conversing with a cheaply-animated Strawberry Shortcake:
  She just won't leave him alone! (snip) Just kiss already, you two.
• His review of the 1989 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade contains a line stating that after the events of The Little Mermaid McDonald's commercial, King Triton destroyed the restaurant because it was something related to humans.
• Peter's review of the 1986 Macy's Parade ends with a joke which claims that Santa said the same thing as Ronald Regan did during his Breaking News Interruption.

Other

• From "How TV Guide Influenced Your Parents":
  • Peter expressing confusion at who one of the characters depicted in the "A Capitol Idea" article is.
  • The Running Gag of Peter constantly mentioning TV Guide snubbing The Ren & Stimpy Show whenever Nicktoons were bought up.
  • Peter saying "Burn!" in reaction to TV Guide's opinion on Yo Yogi!.
  • Peter calling TV Guide's obsession with PBS programs "PBS foot-kissing".
  • Peter's reaction to the reason Ghostwriter didn't get a perfect score from TV Guide.
  • Peter claims that Jeopardy! was bashed by TV Guide because the title suggested violence.
  • Peter describing his reaction to seeing City Kids in the ABC Saturday Morning special the year it premiered.

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