Funny / Path of the King

Return to Path of the King

• The coming storm is full of them:
  • Being a Hero sure was tough!
  • Medea on her expansion to the workshop:
    Medea: Certainly you didn't expect me to do anything worthwhile in such a cramped little space, did you? Of course I had to enlarge my workspace a little more. Don't worry, I used Magecraft to shape it but it doesn't rely on Prana to stay up. It won't crumble on your head if something goes wrong.
    Shirou: My head?
    Medea: I can shift into spirit form, so it's not like I would get hurt by something as mundane as a collapsing building.
    Shirou: Well, that's reassuring.
    Medea: [smiles] It certainly is.
  • And when they need supplies:
    Shirou: Now wait just a moment. All of those things require a bunch of serious equipment to be done. Do you intend to make them with Magecraft?
    Medea: How silly. Of course not. I need stable and Prana-inert tools to craft proper Mystic Codes. Things made with Magecraft tend to erode faster and they would interfere with any enchantment I'm going to use on top of that.
    Shirou: Where will you get them, then?
    Medea: Well… either we are going to steal them or we are going to buy them.
    Shirou: …
    Medea: … [trademark evil smile]
    Shirou: [facepalm]
    Narrator: Being a Hero sure was tough!
    Narrator: …And expensive, too.
• Broken Junction: We give you Detective Dojima, ladies and gentlemen:
  Dojima: [meets Volumen Hydrargyrum] Fucking alien probes. I'm too old for this shit.
• Gears of Destiny: Taiga forces Shirou to reveal all his secrets, Magecraft included. At first she's skeptic about the Magecraft part, until Shirou traces a sword and Medea produces her Servant outfit.
  "Eh! Eh eh eh eeeeh," Taiga laughed awkwardly. Then she did the most reasonable thing she could come up with in such a situation: she passed out.
  • Taiga recovers, and Shirou and Medea tell her of the impending Holy Grail War.
    It took but a moment before Taiga went limp again in Shirou's arms. The redhead sighed wearily. This was going to be a very long night.
• Isn't it sad?: Caster presents a Mystic Code to Shirou after warning him it would knock him out. He doesn't believe it at first, but then he sees it:
  Medea wasn't disappointed by Shirou's reaction. As the hidden treasure was revealed and its cover fell, so did Shirou's jaw. The witch had to hold back an undignified giggle at his dumbstruck expression. After a full minute, during which he didn't say anything or even move beside the minimum required breathing, Medea decided to snap him out of his funk by walking toward him and shutting his jaw closed with one finger, forcing him to look at her.
  Caster: I take it that you like it.
  Shirou: [pointing at the Mystic Code] Ah? Uh? Buh?!
  Caster: Yes, yes. I made it specifically for you. Now pick up your jaw and let me show you how it works.
  • Why is Shirou so excited? The Mystic Code is a Conceptual Armament named Twisted Embrace. It's a Transformation Trinket that turns Shirou into a Henshin Hero.
  • The chapter goes on to hand out another gem, for anyone with prior knowledge of Tsukihime:
  The string of murders that had spread across Misaki was unusual, yes, but it didn't sound like the work of an actual vampire.
  • It becomes even funnier in That Which Bleeds (II), when Shirou, who by that time already knew of Roa (and of Satsuki getting turned but somehow keeping her humanity), learns that Nrvnqsr Chaos was the one who committed the massacre at the hotel but has already been dealt with... And that Arcueid is in town. He has only one thing to say: "What the hell is going on in this goddamn city?". And that's before learning that there may be a vampire-wannabe serial killer in town, after all...
• Ciel at the restaurant, starting with her reaction to having a chance encounter with Shirou.
  • Also, why she was at the restaurant: when her classmates told her the place was having a curry night, her brain stopped working until she had the third serving.
• Shirou's musing at the start of The Measure of a Monster.
  As he caught his breath, picking himself up from the floor, he mused if it was a similar near-constant streak of bad luck and backfiring plans that drove Kiritsugu down the path of the Magus Killer. Honestly, could something work even remotely as intended for once?
  Apparently not.
• In That Which Bleeds (I), Caster activates a scrying to find Shirou... And sees him sharing a bed with Satsuki. Caster is the Yandere of Classical Mythology. Thankfully the Only Sane Rin was there to pick apart her assumptions...
  • Later, Shirou, who has finally woken up, calls home. It goes poorly for him.
    The witch inhaled deeply, supercharging her vocal cords as she did, lips curling to form the words she had been wanting to speak for well over a day.
    
    Outside of the Emiya household, despite the sound-dampening field that surrounded it, birds scattered from the nearby trees in fright.
    
    "SHIROU, YOU IDIOT!"
  • Shirou gets attacked with toy arrows by a kid playing at "Archer, the Ally of Justice!"
• Saber keeps causing I Didn't Mean to Turn You On moments with Rin.
• Shirou accidentally walking in on Medea in the bath.
• Rin gets embarrassed by her skintight Henshin Hero outfit and accuses Shirou of being a pervert. Shirou points out that the reasons he made it like that were practical, and that the school swimsuit she's used without any problem in the past wasn't any looser and showed a lot more skin. Cue a now retroactively embarrassed Rin.
• Caster realizing just how Oblivious to Love Shirou is.
• Rider shows up at school and unintentionally makes everyone at Shirou's school except Rin, Saber and likely Sakura think he's in an S&M relationship with her. Taiga is once again angry, and Medea is laughing non-stop when she hears the full details.
  • It's even funnier once you consider the sheer irony of Rider, known by the epithet "The Woman that Dominates" in Medusa's myth, accidentally making people think she's someone's sub.
• A hungry Taiga chewing on Shirou. Literally chewing on him.
• When Taiga goes from angry at Shirou and Medea for sleeping together to happy when they reveal that their relationship is romantic, she confesses that she thought that Medea had just taken pity on Shirou for being a Hormone-Addled Teenager. She gets her mouth cleaned out with soap as a result.
• Rider purposefully follows Shirou's orders to the letter and shows up at the school gates in physical form on his motorcycle, circumventing his instructions to guard him only in spirit form when within the school premises. Shirou realizes that she just wants to gauge his reaction, so he punishes her like he would a bratty teenager: he makes her hand over the bike's keys, forcing the Servant of the Mount to ride as a passenger.
  • Shirou snarking how it's obvious that Presence Concealment is not a trait of Rider's class.
• Rin realizing that by the Magus standard of seeking out spouses that can produce strong heirs, Shirou is the perfect choice to father the next generation of Tohsaka magi. She then starts banging her head on the table after she comes to this conclusion while writing down her notes on him. Unfortunately, she forgets that Saber, who she has a crush on, is also in the house, and the latter sees the notes, only embarrassing her more.
• After Issei is clued in about magic and the Grail War, his first thought... is that he was right and that Rin is a witch both literally and figuratively. Shirou tries to defend her, saying that she's soft even by Magi standards... only to immediately say that he'll end up dead if Issei actually tells her that.
• Satsuki is Put on a Bus and sent back to her hometown, only to be told by Shirou to not have any regrets. She plants a Big Damn Kiss on him in front of their whole team. Kiss over, she jumps into her designated car and tells the driver "Floor it if you want to live!" The driver proceeds to do just that.
• It's hinted Rider is now developing an attraction to Shirou, saying that forcing him into submission is rather enjoyable. Medea even jokes about it, as when Shirou points out that he'd have to be "cold, dead, and six feet under" to not like a woman like her, she's happy, because that way she can reap the benefits of Rider getting him all hot and bothered without needing to do anything herself.

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