In between heartbreaking decisions and fistpumping triumphs while processing entrants, there are also real gutbusters waiting in line for you to chuckle at.
Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.
General Gameplay
- The loudspeaker blaring ARSTOTZKA WELCOMES YOU after denying someone entry — or take them to talk to the nice men with guns, in the building that people go into a lot but don't seem to come out of so much. It's also funny during Day 5 coming after a visitor from a democratic country says he hates your country and says "Ugh" when you let him in.note
- Time the speaker right when you're detaining someone, and...[Guard enters booth and beats up entrant]
ARSTOTZKA WELCOMES YOU
- Time the speaker right when you're detaining someone, and...
- Checking a sex discrepancy, scanning the person, and discovering that there isn't a sex discrepancy.
- Some of the crazy aliases/fake names that travelers come up with.
- One of the random names an entrant can have is Stanislav Parabol. There are also names such as Terezi Pyrope included in the game.
- It is possible for a random entrant to present a work pass with the field listed as "HEALTH-CARE", but he or she fails to give you a certificate of vaccination. When interrogated, if the entrant does not have a vaccine, they may say "I do not believe in vaccines
", as if that waives the requirement (it doesn't). Truth in Television, as the anti-vaxxer movement includes some healthcare workers. - Random generation of entrants can lead to some strange exchanges. The papers will usually depict more reasonable information, and if interrogated, the presumably-embarrassed entrant will correct themselves quickly.Inspector: What is the purpose of your trip?
Entrant: Transit through Arstotzka.
Inspector: Duration of stay?
Entrant: I don't plan to leave.- With enough luck, it can transition into Black Comedy courtesy of the entrant:Inspector: Duration of stay?
Entrant: I stay until I die.
Inspector: The duration is different.
Entrant: Yes, I stay two months.
- With enough luck, it can transition into Black Comedy courtesy of the entrant:
- Three words: "What is passport?" One wonders that if your character's face was visible, he'd be doing the mother of all Face Palms.
- Even funnier are the times when someone shows up with an Arstotskan ID card and says it. So somehow they managed to get out of the country without knowing what a passport is...
- You went through all the trouble to get an Entry Permit, a Work Pass, an Identity Supplement, and a Vaccine Certificate, and you don't know what a Passport is? MIND BLOWN.
- Fridge Brilliance: These are Arstostkan border crossings, where there's plenty of corruption. You may (or may not) take documents as bribes, so why not other crossings?
- Once you start checking identity supplements, one of the possible identifying features noted is "KILLER SIDEBURNS."
- During terrorist attacks, if you shoot the motorcycle, it will explode spectacularly, taking anyone nearby with it. Yes, even if you use the tranquilizer rifle.
- In one ending, you use forged paperwork to enter Obristan, putting YOU on the other side of the checkpoint.
- There's no limit to how many times you can stamp the decisions onto the documents. You can hand a person their passports with several denial stamps, covering the entire thing in red.
- Over time, the game will give you all kinds of knickknacks to put up on your wall, which entrants might comment on. And Arstotzka takes decorations very seriously, categorizing anything other than the plaques as unauthorized. If your boss, Dimitri, sees any of them, he'll dole out escalating punishments for daring to defy protocol."A fine has been assessed for unofficial wall hangings."
- One of the funniest parts regarding wall-hangings is that the game will allow you to see the supervisor approaching, allowing you to quickly pull decorations from the wall before they can be spotted. It gives the impression of someone going "Oh, Crap!" and cleaning up their cubicle before their boss arrives, which in this game is literally a matter of life and hard labor.
Scripted Events
- Sometimes you can get a traveler who is flat out obvious with his discrepancies, and who actually is pretty humorous even when you deny him entry. Oh, Jorji Costava, you adorable illegal immigrant you...
- He's just so friendly and understanding. Even when you're arresting him. Again.
- One of his attempts to get past the checkpoint is to give you a passport drawn in crayon. And it's marked Pre-Approved at the top. The passport number is 1234-OKOK. Jorji believes with all his heart that the inspector will think it legit.
- The Inspector can flat-out ignore the crude fake and instead point out that Jorji doesn't have an entry ticket.
- The best part comes if you let the fake passport go through.
- Normally the citation doesn't print out until several seconds after the entrant has left the station. In this one instance, it starts the moment you hand the passport back.
- On Day 19, his weight doesn't match his listing. When questioned about this:Jorji: Is sad story. My wife very bad cook. But if I do not eat, she get angry.
- After scanning Jorji and locating several suspicious packages strapped to his leg:
- On day 24, a familiar face appears in the wanted criminals bulletin. Guess who shows up that day:Jorji: For sure I am not in criminal bulletin or anything!
Inspector: [While hitting Detain button] Sorry, Jorji. - Really, the fact that Jorji takes all of this in stride and doesn't bear any ill will to the inspector really sells his entire character. Even better, the Inspector is inclined to agree, growing fond of their meetings and referring to him by name whenever he arrives.Jorji: (as he's being escorted off) It's okay. You have tough job. I rather sell drugs!
- Best part is that he's so friendly, well connected, and well off that the normally violent guards let him off the hook and release him. He must be doing something right!
- One United Federation foreigner will tell you he used to be an inspector like you, saying that the UF border control is now computerized. If approved, they wish you good luck since they know how much of a hassle the job is."It is all done by computers now. They can deny much faster that way."
- If they don't have all the documents in order, though, they don't bother contesting the discrepancy and nonchalantly ask for the red stamp before walking off and quipping:"So this is what it feels like."
- If they don't have all the documents in order, though, they don't bother contesting the discrepancy and nonchalantly ask for the red stamp before walking off and quipping:
- On Day 9, the Inspector is under orders by the Ministry of Admission to assist an agent from the Ministry of Information. Suddenly playing a minor role in espionage, the Inspector shows how out-of-depth he really is in this situation when one of the guards decides to chat with him in the booth.
- When the actual M.O.I. agent comes, they'll hand you two identical sets of documents and tells you to give the fake set to an impostor coming in behind them. The title of the documents? "Mating Habits of Lesser Kolechian Waterfowl."
- It's also a bit of an insult to Kolechia. Give this fake document to the Kolechian operative, and they fail their missions by attacking their own agents.
- In one scripted event on day 10, an entrant has invalid documents but refuses to leave, even when you detain them. They then start yelling about how they will "explode like wild tiger" until a guard comes in and knocks them out.Entrant: You think I am joking, but tiger does not joke.
- One of the unused lines in the game files is even funnier:Entrant: This place will be covered in tiger hair from my extreme actions.
- One of the unused lines in the game files is even funnier:
- Day 12 has an entrant comment on the plaque you've recently gotten. You can get a pretty funny reaction to your plaque depending on which one you get.Entrant: What is this plaque on the wall?
You are recognized for excellence?note I hope they give you raise and not just plaque.
Recognized for sufficience?note Impressive. Why even bother with plaque?
You are recognized for presence?note Way to go.- They will then call said plaque "cheap shit" no matter what happens to them. Approval has them snark about it, while denial and detainment makes them compare you to it.
- On day 12, a CEO of an engineering company gives you several business cards to hand out to visiting foreign engineers. If you give out all four cards by day 16, he later complains that of the four engineers you found, three were civil engineers, "completely useless" to him. (He still pays you for your help, though, as the last one was a good worker.)
- The Arstotzkan athlete who claims his ID card was stolen in the locker room. He tries to bribe you with an "Arstotzka Arskickers" pennant if you'll let him in anyway. And if you let him through, he'll come back a few days later both to show you that he got a new ID card and to ask for the pennant back so that the coach doesn't take away his front seat privilege. It's possible to accept his bribe and then detain him in order to keep the poster.Inspector: The banner is mine now.
- One entrant will compliment you on the banner if it is up.
- If they are approved, they will cheer for the team.Entrant: Go Arskickers!
- However, if you deny/detain them…Entrant: What the hell? I thought we have Arskickers connection.
- If they are approved, they will cheer for the team.
- The fact that the Arstotzka football team is named the Arstotzka Arskickers.
- One entrant will compliment you on the banner if it is up.
- On day 14, an entrant will hand over two passports, before immediately cursing over his small mistake. The detain button comes up immediately.
- One of the scripted terrorists comes up to your booth, screams "DEATH TO ARSTOTSZKA!", drops a bomb on the counter, then leaves. It's a wonder the security detail do nothing to stop them and nobody in line scurries away for their life.
- Calensk's entire act afterwards.Calensk: What is this amateur shit?
Inspector: Should we evacuate?
Calensk: For that little thing? No, of course not. - In some versions of the game, you can stamp the bomb with your approval and denial stamps. This ends about as well as you'd expect.
- After disarming the bomb, you get this:Calensk: Ok, all done. Back to work.
Inspector: We should close the checkpoint.
Calensk: Bullshit. I need to earn money today. - He also points out how easy it is to defuse the bomb, as the would-be terrorist helpfully labeled each wire to cut in numerical order.
- And it has to be noted that Calensk can essentially keep the bomb with him while he stands guard until the day ends (assuming nobody gets detained and thus he doesn't leave the screen). Tough guy.
- Calensk's entire act afterwards.
- On Day 18, the "reason for denial" stamp comes into play. The inspector has the following conversation with the first entrant he denies:Entrant: Denied? For what reason?
Inspector: It is clearly stamped there.
Entrant: Oh. [Beat] Screw you anyways.- Also on Day 18, if you time it right, you can detain someone right as the scripted terrorist attack begins. The detaining guards walk down and completely ignore the terrorist.
- On Day 19, you process an entrant who used to know your father, to the point where she babysat the Inspector. Her opinion of you wasn't all that nice.Entrant: I worked with your father for many years. You were such a little brat.
[If she gets denied]
Entrant: You are still brat. Just not so little any more. - If you buy your son the expensive crayons for his birthday, he'll draw you a picture that you can hang on the wall. One of the entrants on day 25 notices it...Entrant: What is this drawing on the wall? My dog can do better.
Inspector: It is from my son.
Entrant: Oh. [Beat] ...Maybe he should try sports.- If approved, the entrant apologizes and says they were just having a rough day. It's funnier if the inspector flat out denies the entrant for any reason, valid or not.Entrant: You deny me for comment about drawing, right?
Inspector: The exit is to your right. - Even funnier if you end up detaining the entrant for fraudulent papers:
- If approved, the entrant apologizes and says they were just having a rough day. It's funnier if the inspector flat out denies the entrant for any reason, valid or not.
- The love note given on day 25:
- You can approve the Love Letter Giver, and when they ask for the card back, you can then choose to have them detained. They shouldn't have pushed their luck, huh?
- Giving the love letter to the depressed Kolechian brightens up their day so much that they won't care if they get approved, denied, or even detained! The gesture really does mean a lot to them.
- On Day 28, one entrant will offer an advertisement for the Get Big Town, a local gym, after he hands over his papers:Entrant: You are skin and bones. Bet you have no strength. Come to gym, I make you big.
- If his papers aren't in order and you deny him, he'll complain:Entrant: Denied? Hah. This is what I expect from skinny weakling.
- He calls the inspector a skinny weakling despite the fact that the inspector is pretty much single-handedly keeping the border crossing safe from trespassers at this point in time. There are guards behind the booth, but they have terrible aim and more or less need to be saved by the inspector from terrorist attacks. Keep in mind that the inspector is supposed to be a paper pusher, and not a soldier.
- If his papers aren't in order and you deny him, he'll complain:
- Serial child killer or not, Simon Wens' reaction to you giving him a picture of one of his victims (Julia) is priceless — he just yells "What the fuck?!" and runs away.
Other
- There's hardly anything funny in the film adaptation, but Jorji does make a brief appearance with his Cobrastan passport, as well as a forged access permit.Physical appearance:
Good look
Blue yeis
Wery toll - On the Fandom Wiki for Papers Please, there is an article for the Son's Drawing, treating it like a serious piece of contemporary art.Son's Drawing (1982) is a prime example of the late 20th century naïve art movement. It was made by the inspector's son, an Arstotzkan child who aspires to the ideology and aesthetic of primitivism rather than the socialist realism that characterizes most art produced in the region.
...
Similar to intricate stage instructions in the works of Bertolt Brecht, Son's Drawing has a phrase "hanG on Wall," which, while allows further viewing of such a piece, is intended to estrange the audience and emotionally detach them from the action and the papa. By using this kind of alienation effect (Verfremdungseffekt in German), the audience is led to analyze and maybe even challenged to change the world outside the painting. This was the goal and driving force behind the inspector's son's entire creative career, a person desperate for ideas, creativity, and professionalism.
