Funny / Paper Mario: Color Splash

• During the boat ride to Prism Island, the Toad Retainer accompanying Mario and Princess Peach accidentally threw Mario's hammer overboard into the sea, but thinks that the hammer you find lying around totally makes up for it.
• Just like in Sticker Star, characters react to you hitting them with your hammer. Unlike in Sticker Star, during the beginning of the game, Peach and Toad are following you. You can also hit them with your hammer.
  Peach: Don't make me take that hammer away from you, because I will, mister!
  Toad: OW! Do I look like a crate to you?!
• Mario and Peach panicking at the sight of the Shy Guy attacking Toad is pretty funny.
  Toad: Mario... Help me! I...I can't feel my pants!
• After you take out the Slurp Guy and his cohorts at the beginning of the game, Peach requests a moment of silence for the lost Toad. Huey is a little less patient.
  Peach: Oh, poor Toad... Everyone, a moment of silence, please...
  [moment of silence]
  Huey: MAN, I'M STARVING! How about that burger?!
• Slurp Guys are Shy Guys who suck color out of the landscape and populace... with a straw. Yes, a regular straw.
• Mario can hit Toads with the paint hammer, coating their heads in paint. This is actually required to solve a puzzle in Bloo Bay Beach.
• Early on, a blue Toad complains about losing to the first Goomba, "just like a grandma."
• Justice Toad and his Overdrive Gravity Boots, which harness the power of gravity to make him stay on the ground. Mario also catches a Shy Guy reading his diary, which plays out like a self-insert fanfiction.
  This hero harnesses the power of justice to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked. Plus, he looks really, REALLY cool, and everyone wants to be best friends with him.
• One of Luigi's letters begins with "Heya Big Bro! It's-a me, Luigi. You know, your brother, Luigi. With the green hat?"
• If you drop down the wrong side of the gate after first using the Cutout feature, Huey takes notice and complains.
• While the Slurp-Guy pulling off a attempted surprise attack is a bit unnerving, it quickly escalates to funny once the Shy-Guy realizes he doesn't even have his straw.
  Shy Guy: SSSSSSSSSLUUUUUUUURPPPPPPP...Where'd my straw go?
• The sequence where Mario and Huey invade the airship. Near the colorless Crimson Tower, Mario and Huey spot some Shy Guys putting paint into a large bucket attached to the underside of the airship. It then takes off... And then the music cuts off as the airship is still tethered to the ground. Leading to the Shy Guys on board asking Mario to raise the anchor.
  DANG IT JOHNSON! I TOLD you to pull up the anchor!
  • Later, after beating up the Shy Guys flying the airship, it starts to destabilize. Huey tells Mario to find a switch to drop the bucket. Nearby is a switch. A self destruct switch.
• Even when speaking through Hulk Speak, Morton can still drop a gem:
  Morton: MORTON... MORTON LOSE. BAD MARIO GET PAIN STAR... MASTER ORDER MORTON... SAY GO GET PAIN STAR... MORTON? MORE LIKE... LESTON.
  • Immediately before that, if he gets to have a turn after you've extinguished/destroyed his mallet, he attempts to attack you with it as if it were still a mallet, an attack that does 1 point of damage.
    Morton: EAT STICK!
• After defeating Morton and returning to Port Prisma, Bowser shows up to gloat before leaving in the repaired airship. It's... seen better days.
  • He also kidnaps Princess Peach and tapes her to a strand of paper attached to the airship. The best part? Everybody acts like it's totally unexpected, which is a blatant example of Lampshade Hanging by Nintendo.
  • And in a bit of irony or perhaps poetic justice, as the Koopalings leave Prism Island in the (still destroyed) airship, Bowser himself is taped to the airship in the exact same way that Peach was when she was kidnapped!
• After Bowser leaves, it is found that Peach managed to send a letter, which is a card shaped like an 8-bit version of Peach that plays her messages as holograms.
  Toad: This...is a Holo-Peach! You know... a self-delivering postcard shaped like Princess Peach. Obviously.
• There's also the Plunger, which approaches the enemy slowly while Sexophone music plays, then jumps on them and rapidly pumps up and down
• Every time you get a Big Paint Star all the Toads in Prisma Town and any relevant characters from the chapter that Big Paint Star was found at will celebrate by dancing.
• Having low health in any battle causes the song to switch to a hilariously off key version. This sounds utterly ridiculous in the Wendy O. Koopa battle or pretty much any other boss fight in game. It's like the Sonic Unleashed Rank E music taken up to eleven.
• In the aptly named Mondo Woods, everything within is giant sized including the enemies and coins. One is large enough to block your path and Huey thinks collecting it will make him and Mario rich, but it is drained of its paint at the time. Later, when you collect the Yellow Big Paint Star you can collect the coin, revealing that it only counts as one, which rightfully peeves off Huey.
  Huey: WHAT?! That only counted as ONE coin?! Shenanigans! SHENANIGANS, I SAY! *sigh* The mustache twirling will have to wait, I suppose.
  • It also helps that Huey was talking about twirling their mustaches, and generally getting gold fever. Hilariously enough, if you try to paint the coin yourself Huey will call you out on getting gold fever and attempt to make you stop.
• If you attempt to walk down the train tracks in certain levels:
  Huey: The tracks just stretch off into the vast, boring unknown here, Mario. No point going this way.
• At Marmalade Valley, Huey attempts to have an emotional moment with Mario, which gets interrupted by a giant Chain Chomp made of cardboard bashing through a nearby wall and chasing them.
  Huey: Hey, Mario. Hold on a second. This whole dig site seems a bit... seismolologically unstable, wouldn't you say? And I just felt a little vibration in the air... So this seems as good an opportunity as any to say something important. I just want you to know that, should something catastrophic happen, I will protect you. I would literally throw my body in front of-
  [Princess busts through a wall and Huey flies away]
  • And shortly after that, Huey is found sitting in a bush.
    Huey: Oh, hey! I found a safe spot over here for you. I was just keeping it warm.
• The Golden Colosseum has several moments:
  • "Did that paint can just call you Mario, Mario?"
  • Huey is a bit excited to participate in the Battle Royal:
    Huey: I can't wait to get medieval and crunch my foes in a Battle Royal! I mean... I can't wait to watch you do those things.
  • The first question Mario needs to answer to enter the Battle Royal? "Are you bad to the bone?"
    Of course
    I...I don't know
  • If you answer with "Of course" he then clarifies what he means by making more bone related puns, as if to subtly tip you off that you need the Bone Thing for this boss fight. The options this time are:
    Yes. Bone.
    What?!
  • In the Battle Royal Iggy acts as the announcer and doesn't even try to hide his glee. If you find the Star, Iggy promptly goes into Large Ham mode.
    Iggy: Mario uses a performance-enhancing power-up to cheat his way to victory! IT'S A MASSACRE! Oh, it's a paintbath!
  • After using the Bone Thing on Iggy:
    Iggy: AW MAN! The sales guy told me those chariots were invincible! I want a refund!
• At the Dark Bloo Inn, ghosts have appeared. One Toad says he tried to call Luigi for help, but it went straight to voice mail.
• In the Dark Bloo Inn, there's a room full of books, along with a really thick book on the shelves. If you investigate the book, you can see its title: "The Internet (Print Edition)".
• In Dark Bloo Inn, a Shy Guy steals "it" from one of the ghosts. "It" is totally invisible and the Shy Guy and pals all talk about how cool "it" is. When you take "it" back, its description even just says "...it?" The ghost who had "it" even tells you to take a long, hard look at "it" and its total invisibility. If you use your paint to colorize it like you would other items, it turns out to be a Yoshi! The game offers you the chance to, yes, ride Yoshi... who then jumps away from you and disappears out a window forever, as if the devs are taunting you. By the time you make it to the Emerald Circus, however, it was revealed that the Yoshi jumped out the window to escape the inn and free the other Yoshis in a cage close to the circus tent.
• The Dark Bloo Inn mostly revolves around doing tasks for ghosts spread around the building. While they mostly fit in with the paranormal theme, a few of them are quite humorous:
  • The reception desk has been getting a lot of silent phone calls. Turns out, this was the ghost in room 301 attempting to call room service to complain about his rumpled sheets. After you hear him whine about how terrible the reception is, you can go and grab some fresh sheets from the basement and then use them to make the ghost's bed. Then he admits that he only wanted fresh sheets is because he loves rolling around in the stuff.
  • All the books in the library (except a super thick printed edition of the Internet) are repeatedly tossed away by a ghost looking for a certain book. You can find it drained of color in an inn worker's hands, the Toad slacking off by reading it. After you color it back in, he realizes that the tea recipe book that he can now see the writing of is really... really boring. He then gives it to Mario since an "old man" like him will probably like it. Doubly funny for the implication that the worker was just staring at a blank book to get out of working.
  • One of the ghosts can't find his glasses anywhere, because they're propped on his forehead. You solve his problem by whacking him on the noggin, knocking the glasses on his face. Even better, if you leave the box blocking the entryway, he'll bump into it, sending his glasses back on his head, though he now knows where they are.
  • How does one of the ghosts keep people away from the hotel? He spends all day on the internet review-bombing it so people think it's terrible. It's so mundane it's amazing.
• The source of the poison in Plum Park turns out to be Petea Piranha, a version of Petey Piranha folded up into a teabag and put into a teapot. And to make it even better, he tries to mock Mario and Huey, before realizing that they can't understand him as the text is only being translated for the player.
• Also in Plum Park is another musical cameo from Birdo.
• If you attempt to repaint the ocean with your hammer, Huey has some choice words for you.
  Huey: Are you really trying to paint the entire ocean with your hammer? How are you still alive?!
  Huey: Perhaps I didn't make myself clear earlier... KNOCK IT OFF!
• The Dancing Pig as a Thing item.
• The second level of Sacred Forest takes place inside a comically shrunk forest leading to some funny moments.
  • After the Mini Paint Star is stolen by an army of tiny Goombas, Huey realises there is one on his back. Cue a panic attack and asking Mario to get rid of it; he does this by hitting Huey into the background, much to his anger. The second time Huey ends up with a Goomba on him he almost ends up doing the same thing but stops just in time.
  • After finding one of the Mini Paint Star pieces, a group of Goombas tries to stop Mario picking it up in a scene that portrays them as somewhat intimidating, right before revealing that they are just as small as every other enemy in the level. The best part is that the music is also affected, and it sounds like its being broadcast through a very tiny speaker. The gag is repeated with two Hammer Bros. at the end of the level.
    • When you fight the tiny Hammer Bros., during their first turn, they'll attempt to throw hammers at you from where they're standing, only to miss as Mario is too far away.
  • A Toad is subject to the shrink magic which leads to some amusing dialogue when he sees Mario and thinks he ate a Mega Mushroom. He then says his dream is to become a member of the Toad Rescue Squad. If you return to Port Prisma, you see him get rejected due to his size, while being told to "eat some vegetables until you triple in size".
    • When you make the Toad grow back to normal size thanks to the Magnifying Glass Thing, he immediately goes to get himself recruited. The director astonishingly asks how many vegetables he could have possibly eaten to grow to that size.
• Cobalt Base seems like a straightforward, easy level at first. Then you fall through a trapdoor onto a pipe. After you go through the pipe, you appear underwater in a bubble. And then, out of nowhere, it's revealed that you're on the set of Snifit or Whiffit. Which is also on the ocean floor, for whatever reason.
  • And if you answer all seven questions correctly, the host will give you the choice to partake in a bonus round in a "double-or-nothing" scenario: either get a super special thing (the camera Thing required for beating Wendy) if you answer correctly, or...
    Host Snifit: But get even one wrong and it's an instant game over and your save file will be erased forever! Just kidding.
• The Chosen Toads have additional dialogue if you return to them after collecting Big Paint Stars. By the third one, they're totally not jealous that Mario gets to move around while they're stuck in a door forever. By the fourth, the first two are occupied trying to hold in a Potty Emergency. Made even funnier by the fact that they're present for the end-of-chapter dance party celebrating the Red Big Paint Star's return, so they can leave but are busy keeping the gate to the Crimson Tower open in case Mario needs to go back.
• When Mario and the Toad pirates cross the sea to Fortune Island, a typical pirate shanty begins to play. When it abruptly cuts off, the Captain laments that was the best part.
• On your journey, you come to Vortex Island, home to a massive whirlpool that is blocking your path. When explaining your goals to one of the island residents, he protests by saying that they have all sorts of promotional merchandise for the island. As it turns out, this merchandise is 500 "Vortex Island sucks!" T-shirts.
  • And what was causing the vortex? An active washing machine in the Parallel World. When you squeeze the aforementioned item, you are ambushed over and over again by angry mooks who had clothing being washed in there, including a Koopa who had his "best Sunday shell" in there, and will even complain during battle that he'll have to wear the same stinky old one.
• When you finally get the lighthouse working, the lighthouse keeper will start dancing as disco music kicks in.
• When Mario and the pirate crew finally reach their destination, you explore the tunnels of Fortune Island. You can't leave from where you came in, so you need to find another way out. When you do, you'll see that the captain is staring intently at the hole where you first entered. Talk to him, and he'll be caught so off-guard, he'll forget to use his stereotypical pirate lingo.
  Captain: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!! I mean YAAAAAAAARRGHH!!!
  • And earlier:
    Captain: It'll take more than a puny 200-foot-tall skull to scare me off!
• Later on, you find the legendary captain who first found Fortune Island. After squeezing his grill Thing, he'll get so mad that he passive-aggressively follows you until you're mildly annoyed. His dialogue makes it even better.
  Legendary Captain: There's no fury like hungry-captain fury!
  • Bonus points for it being one of the only things that happens in video games besides instant game-overs that would likely faze a player. Even Huey comments on how persistent he is after going into another room.
• Upon defeating the boss in Fortune Island and reclaiming the Violet Big Paint Star, where does it go? To the big white circle at the Mustard Café where the chef/barista is lounging, turning it into a gaping hole in the ground, upon which he promptly falls into the abyss, along with his chair and his parasol. Meanwhile, glorious-sounding music plays, as if the game knows the player considers him a jerk and, after completing ten stages without getting him to move from his spot, he's finally getting his comeuppance.
• The saga of the Sunset Express. First, it gets held up prepping for its last voyage before retirement. However, before it departs, you have to demolish the tracks at Kiwano Temple. This rightfully peeves off the conductor, and in order to progress, you have to find the twenty-four Toads of the Blue Rescue Team in order to fix the tracks. The brave Toads literally form new tracks out of their bodies to let the train pass. Finally, the Sunset Express takes off as triumphant music plays... Only for a Thwomp to fall out of nowhere and crush the engine. And then the passengers get out and push.
• When you have to repair the Sunset Express at Toad Trainworks, at one point you can enter the cabin where the Toads are waiting. If you do, you enter a "battle" that consists of all the Toads yelling at you for 1 damage each. Even funnier is if this kills you, since the Toads just doomed the world with their impatience. Whoops!
  Hurry up and repair the train!
  What's taking so long?!
  I'm starving!
  When are we leaving?!
  My wife left me!
  I'm tired!
  Luigi wouldn't do this to us!
  You're too slow!
  My butt is getting kinda numb!
  My foot's asleep too!
  I'm bored!
  GAAH!
• After making pizza for Toads at Tangerino Grill, Mario is asked to prepare a meal for the VIP guest who's waiting in the next room. After walking Mario into the (musicless) room and talking through a curtain to the VIP, he just throws a raw steak into your side of the room from behind the curtain. The steak looks realistic, so it must be a Thing, right? Nope. As soon as you touch it, the battle intro plays and the miniboss music kicks in. If you aren't expecting this, your confusion will be palpable.
• The caution sign in Redpepper Crater's hot springs.
  Warning: Water contains water. Water is hot. Water will get you wet. Please do not sue us.
  • Also from the Redpepper hot springs, one of the Toads bathing in them is not comfortable with Mario being near them.
    Toad: I feel like we know each other pretty well, Mario. But not "Watch each other take baths" well, you know?
• After squeezing the Magnifying Glass Thing in Tangerino Grill, a prompt to open the electronic manual pops up. Doing so will take you to a note from the developers that has nothing to do with giving advice for the game, but rather is devoted to gushing about delicious meat such as the ones they went out and bought (and wrote off as a business expense naturally) to research how the steak you fight in the game should look. They even include photos.
• You can talk to all fifty-odd Toads of the Red Rescue Squad as they stand in line for the Emerald Circus. Some of them have some crazy things to say.
  "I don't really mind waiting in long lines. Gives me time to contemplate my mortality."
  "No matter what I do, I'm #2. Now I know what Luigi feels like..."
  "Mario, sir! I'm a huge fan! Thanks for taking the time to talk to a normal Toad like me with no unique traits or discernable characteristics!
• Every time you rescue a Big Paint Star, it will fill in the color for an object that's simply too big for Mario to paint. The red one fills in Sunglow Ridge's gate, the blue one fills in a section of the ocean, and so on. But when the world is all colored, what can the green one repaint? We hear the sounds of Luigi off-screen, but was that just an easter egg? No. Suddenly Mario has trouble getting to the final level, so what happens? Luigi shows up in his newly repainted go-kart, complete with the title theme of Mario Kart 8 and ready to give you a lift to the final dungeon. It's also a little Heartwarming.
• Related to the above: in the endgame, the Big Paint Stars make a road that is also a rainbow to the final level. When the player makes Mario jumps on it, he begins to walk up it... and then it gets too slippery and he simply falls back down to the ground while the music grinds to a halt. And then out of nowhere, Luigi shows up in his kart.
• "You're telling me we could have avoided this entire game if we just installed a Don't Mix The Paint sign?!"
• As you know, Replica Thing cards can't be used to solve boss puzzles. What you may not know is that using a Replica of the intended card anyway has some humorous side effects:
  • Attempting to use a Replica Bone on Iggy causes him to nonchalantly jump when it goes above him, smacking it out of the way and confusing Mario.
    Iggy: A pretend bone? OK, I'll pretend to lose! AHAHAHA!
  • If you attempt to use Replica Balloons when fighting Ludwig, he retaliates by shooting Birdo with a missile from offscreen.
    Ludwig: Gwehehe! Get that Replica garbage out of here!
  • Using a Replica Instant Camera during the Wendy battle causes her to suddenly photobomb Mario.
    Wendy: Teehee! That little Instant Camera Replica is like a baby toy!
  • Using the Replica Disco Ball against Lemmy will have the animation play for a bit, then the music cuts with a sad look on Lemmy’s face.
    Lemmy: That Disco Ball Replica was sooooo last decade! Can’t really get into it!
  • If a Washing Machine Replica is used during the battle against Roy, the animation starts normally and then it randomly goes in reverse, complete with the sound effects going backwards as well.
    Roy: A Replica? You expect to beat ME with a REPLICA?! Bahaha! Take that weak stuff back to the Mushroom Kingdom.
• In Roy's battle, if you don't have the right kind of cards when painted Yellow, Mario does a dance and hits Roy with a stick on his turn.
• Using the Compass Thing in battle normally ensures Mario will run away, but Bowser's battle is unfleeable. If you use the Compass there, Mario runs...only for the screen to wrap around and put him behind Bowser, making him freak out.
• After beating Bowser, who was possessed by the black paint and thus didn't remember anything while he was possessed, he's confused about why Mario and Huey are there and asks "Do we have a kart race scheduled today?"
• According to the manual, only the best Shy Guys can become Slurp Guys, having to go through sit ups, jogging and dancing to get the straws, despite the fact that they just have to stick straws into their mouths. Funny on its own, but it gets ridiculous when you encounter Slurp Snifits who have no justification whatsoever why they have their straws!

---