Funny / NextG Poop

Season 1

Free to Be...

• Media Offline; because you are an idiot.
• "What this guy doesn't know is that the problems he's talking about are much harder to solve than ever before." This is then followed by "NextG's Big Show What a Thrill Congratulations!" being played in its entirety in rapid-fire speed.

Eat My Foot and Die You Loser.

• Fire effects are manipulated into a scene involving clips from the Thomas & Friends episode "Trust Thomas", where James pushes some freight cars off-screen, making it look like he made them crash.
• The first appearance of the WTF? Kid.

Now Remember Billy, Only Retards Wear Their Collars Up

• An FBI warning screen is shown, followed by the text "Yeah, right...".
• "And you, there, quit cracking really weird jokes! YOU'RE NOT FUNNY!"

Sledgehammers and Audiotapes

• The random Droste Effect scene.
• "We were playing strip poker up yonder by the fish pool!"

Stuff Happens While I Play Unfitting Music

• The Columbia Pictures "Sunburst" logo transitioning to Nickelback.

The Instructional Video on How to Get Through the Hotels

• The NextG Poop Finger Band performing "Running in the '90s".
  • "DON'T YOU JUST LOVE FREAKING ANNOYING FLASHING MESSAGES LIKE THIS?"

And a Hap-Hap-Happy Day to You, Too!

• Percy goes to work in the—Percy goes to work in the—Percy goes to work in the—

Where's Sara When You Really Need Her?

• Squidward saying "I'll have to give myself a pr-r-romotion!".

NextG Poop Was Found in the Local Funeral Home

• "What is the answer?" "Butt sex?"

Give Your NextG Poop a Shot of Adrenaline

• "BEM FEITO! BEM FEITO!"

One Man's Trash is Another Man's NextG Poop

• NextG Poop: Power. Dance. Shout. Cheer. Spirit.] What?
• "VideoLater! You can watch your favorite ASS on your very own personal video disc player! Not now, but later!"
• "Anytime, anywhere. ABC. End here."

Season 2

I Will Not Use "DIE" in the Title of a NextG Poop

• This is Barney's response to a random EBS warning stating "WE'RE ABOUT TO GET BLOWN UP AT 3:00 PM ET!".
  Michael: That's right! And my watch says it'll be 3:00 in 10 seconds!
  Barney and the Kids: 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! (cue a really loud explosion)

The First Rule About NextG Poop is...

• "Spring break is when you make up for all the bogus time wasted in a very special hat. It's a time for drivin' out west, with the top down, checkin' out all the FINE ladies!"

NextG Poop is Known to Kill VCRs

These Are the Voyages of NextG Poop

• The Shout-Out to the Monty Python and the Holy Grail DVD at the beginning.
• "It is the learned that the suspect has the newest animated classic from your ASS!"

The NextG Poop NewsHour

• This:
  Jim Lehrer: So, WordGirl, being a 10-year-old superhero—
  WordGirl: Uh, 10 and a half, bitch.

People Fall Down in NextG Poop

• "Jonathan the Jerk" explaining the main concept of the episode.

Shake Your NextG Poop Tail

• The characters of the Mother Goose Treasury re-enacting the opening cutscene of Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon, and vice versa.

NextG Poop...It's What's for Dinner

• The entire "Pants, Shirts, Pleated Skirts" remix.
• "Once upon a time, Glay and his partner in rhyme, Paramount, have to chop garlic. Stinky, nasty garlic. But Paramount has to drive to a local laundromat. Did that keep her from chopping garlic? No. So Paramount had a choice between taking $1,000 towards dried apples, or the Tobi. Paramount said 'dried apples', and he had butt sex with your ASS."
• MacGyver: Fast Ironing Edition.

Even Soul Reapers Prefer NextG Poop

• Hello. I am The Wal. I have come to return to power.
  • You will NOT return to power, you stupid jerk!
    • That's what YOU think!
    • YOU MANIAC FOOLS! You think you might have gotten rid of me, but I will return! Mark my words!
• From a clip inside the episode itself, Joel McHale's commentary regarding a British commercial for "Baby Wee-Wee" (a doll that doesn't have a Barbie Doll Anatomy...), from The Soup:
  "You know, it's REALLY innovative of the toy industry to construct a working doll with such a huge c*bleep*."
• The ending.
  Female Voice on Tape: Don't move, you man, you. Cover your body with Orihime.
  (Beat)
  Orihime: DIE!
  (attacks the female voice with static electricity off-screen; some text appears reading "And so Orihime attacked in a scene of such spectacular proportions, it could never in your life be seen in a low-budget poop like this.")
  Sped-Up CD-i Ganon: NOOOOOO! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME...

All Your NextG Poop Are Belong to Pink Boys

• Setting the Thomas & Friends intro to "Running in the '90s" by Initial D.
• "Gordon laughed." (laughs like Mario from Super Mario World)
• "Bust my breakfast!"
• This scene:
  Narrator: Meanwhile, James was enjoying himself enormously.
  James: What a clever plan!
  Narrator: He chuffed. Then he saw Sir Topham Hatt.
  Sir Topham Hatt: Some jokes are funny, but not this one, James! You're a very naughty *bleep*.
  James: Yes, sir!
  Narrator: Said James.
  Sir Topham Hatt: BAH!
  Narrator: Said Sir Topham Hatt, and angrily let off steam.

NextG Poop is Immune from the Writers' Strike

• The introduction of the "ASS!" (BONUS!) Running Gag, introduced via a Wheel of Fortune contestant solving a puzzle that is "THE GOOSE THAT LAID THE GOLDEN ASS".
• It feels good, it feels goooooooooooooooooo—
• Because "WRITERS SUCK", Matt is forced to Jump the Shark and use the EXACT same ending as "Even Soul Reapers Prefer NextG Poop".

Is It Live or Is It NextG Poop?

• The entire "Poop Market" sequence.

The World-Famous Star-Studded NextG Poop

• "I frequently find myself thinking of....." (cut to CBS/Fox Video logo)
• Two words: "THANK...you!"
• "Enough fluff! Let's end this one in true NextG style!"
• FAILED ASS SHOT

Season 3

We'll Return Right After We Take a NextG Poop

• "There comes a time, where even YOOOOOUUUU must DIE."
• "WE'RE NOT TWINS!!!" "O RLY?"

Secret Confessions of NextG Poop

• "Are you good-looking?" "NO!"
• "NONE of America is talking about Secret Confessions."

NextG Poop at Home

• "I'M TOO CHEAP for real gravy!"
• The infamous scene from Higurashi: When They Cry where Rika graphically headbutts a knife? Horrific. That scene being set to "Happypeople", and being followed by a slo-mo clip of what appears to be Randy Savage in his Slim Jim attire? Surprisingly hilarious.

NextG Poop Knows Where You Live

• "The letter 'Y' comes after 'X', and 'Y' is the first letter in "your ass"!" (DOUBLE BONUS!)

A Simple Plan for NextG Poop

• Sammy Stephens (a.k.a. the "Flea Market Montgomery" guy) rapping this Easy-Off Bam commercial.
• "I'll put Flo Rida in the rinse cycle!"

What NextG Poop Says, NextG Poop Does

• "YOU'VE! GOT! TO!"
• "Drumroll, please!"
• Matt splicing in The Nostalgia Critic clips criticizing an Overly Long Gag from Joy Junction, involving a mouse who questions how things began.

My NextG Poop is Bigger Than Yours!

• The entire Maxwell Butterman sequence.
  Maxwell: So, as your Butter Party candidate, I, Maxwell Butterman, ask you.....WHY CHANGE?!?! We're RICH, my friends! Rich in near-misses! Loaded with CUM, and dripping with SNACK!
• "PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"—(explosion)

A NextG Poop...Shaken, Not Stirred.

• "YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE-IE!!!!!"
• Barack Obama spitting out the Warner Bros. Television shield.

The Life and Times of NextG Poop

• The Ass Train.

Don't Tell Me NextG Poop Don't Matter!

• The "[ex]Tremes. (bi ba ba ba ba bah)" Voice Clip Song remix.
• Barack Obama talking in high speed.
• A shot of a guy getting beaten set to the "COME ON, BARBIE, LET'S GO PARTY" part of Aqua's "Barbie Girl".

If the NextG Poop Fits

• The Grinch saying "IT SUCKS."
• "COME"

A NextG Poop's Work is Never Done

• "Oh my God, is that a pimple?!"
  • "OH MY GOD, IT IS A PIMPLE!"

The NextG Poop Factor

• All of The Big Lebowski clips.
• Three words: I.....need.......DRUUUUGS!

Something to Do with NextG Poop

• The ending, where the entire poop is revealed to be a wet dream of Napoleon from Animal Farm:
  Napoleon: OOH!!!!.....BEST! WET DREAM! EV--.....never mind.

Season 4

All NextG Poop are Created Equal

• I can't. I can't. I ca—I ca—I ca—I ca—I ca—I ca—I ca—

The Importance of Being NextG Poop

There Goes a NextG Poop

Not the Nine O'Clock NextG Poop Caper

• "We are just seconds away from the world premiere event that EVERYONE'S been talking about." "Well, NOT me!"

NextG Poop and the Hands of Fate (Semi-Starring Amy Rose!)

• "Hey, Knux, now that Tails has gotten rid of his pervish ways, you think you could do the same?"

NextG Poop's Salad Days

• Previously on… NextG Poop... You lazy fool. Go watch the last episode yourself if you want to know what happened before this one.
• "Programs like this one are proven not to have any real purpose or educational value."
  • "DUMB BIRD ALERT!"

NextG Poop and the (Supposedly) Last Crusade

• "Hotcakes, hotcakes!"
• The Warner Home Video shield knocking the Dinty Moore can shown during the sequence out of the way.
• "Old McDonald had A FUCKIN' PIG!" "E-I-eeeee-iiiii..."
• "She met this guy named SLEEPY!" (Sleepy appears on Maury's screen)

NXPQuickies

This Video is Better Than Spider-Man 3

• The description. "And I haven't even seen it."
• "It's so easy to use geico.com, a caveman could disappear in the Bermuda Triangle!"
• The Stinger is composed of a loud Jump Scare......and then Robotnik appears yelling "STOP IT!".

Disposable Hygenic Experimental Volcanoes

• The entire poop is a hilariously epic experiment in chroma keying and other surreal effects. It needs to be seen to be believed.

LOL IT'S S.T.E.V.E.

• LOL BUCKTOOTH

LOL IT'S A SLAPFEST

Hail to the Poop, Mr. President

• This:
  Link: I won!
  Zelda: You did not!

ANGUS MISSED FOR THE FIRST TIME

• The Stinger.
  Cara Cunningham (formerly known as Chris Crocker): LEAVE HER ALOOOONE!!!
  Mayor Ned McNodd: NO!
  The Nostalgia Critic: Okay, seriously, you done?

MORSHU GETS HIS MMH'S WORTH

NextG's Morning Surprise...?

A Message to the Square Pegs in the Round Holes

I CAN'T THINK OF A GOOD TITLE

BRILLE'S GRILLES

PURE INNOCENT MADNESS

YET WHOSE KIDNEY IS IT ANYWAY

MARC SUMMERS COOKS RAW CHICKEN WITH KINKAJOU

• "RAW!"

DICK TURBOT

Special Programs

NextG's Most Random Video Ever!

• The Lorax reciting part of David Copperfield, before the Once-ler yells at him "Pardon my French, but you're an asshole!".

NextG's Big Show What a Thrill Congratulations!

NextG (What Doesn't Kill Ya Makes Ya) Poop

NextG Christmas Tape 2008

At the Crossroads Addendum

NextG Presents a Half-Hour of Happy!

Everybody Now!

NextG Poop Remix

NextG's Ancient Prophecies

Will Smith Helps Clean Up Mr. Whimper's Glue Factory

Will Smith Knows Nothing About Holding Grudges

Will Smith Irritates Everybody for the Last Time