Funny / Nash Bridges

Some funny things have happened with the SIU in the pursuit of justice.

• In "High Impact", Nash and Joe speculate on Alpha's identity.
  Nash: Joe, do you remember that electronic tone we heard while I was talking on the phone with Alpha? Do you think he could be wearing a hearing aid?
  Joe: What?
  Nash: Do you think he could be wearing a hearing aid?
  Joe: What?
  Nash: Do you...oh, very funny.
• The exchange between Joe and Barry Chen in "Wild Card" when they go after Tiger.
  Barry: If you're looking for Tiger, this is where you'll find him.
  Joe: This is a marijuana den.
  Barry: I know. Totally legal under Prop 215 as long as you have a valid medical prescription.
  Joe: For what?
  Barry: Weed. Grass, dope, pot, you know? (pretends to smoke a joint)
  Joe: No, I mean what's wrong with you?
  Barry: Oh! Depression.
  Joe: Depression?
  Barry: Yeah, I get depressed when I'm not getting stoned. [The Doctor's] a nice guy. I'll probably have him set you up.
  Joe: Actually, I stopped smoking pot years ago.
  Barry: Oh no? What's your drug of choice now?
  Joe: Ah, Rogaine.
  Barry: Rogaine? What's that? Do you snort it?
• "Land Pirates":
  • After Ira Buxbaum is robbed, the SIU shows up quickly, but not quickly enough for him:
    Ira: Where were you ten minutes ago?
    Antwon: Getting my nails done. (holds up his hand and wiggles his fingers) Like 'em?
  • Later, Harvey does over the members of the gang through the pictures they took earlier. He only applies real names to the guys they know while giving code names to the others. Said code names include "Blackbeard" (the pirate leader who has a beard but no moustache), Suave Bolo (due to his bowl haircut), and Low I.Q. (due to his unfocused gaze).
• "Crossfire":
  • After Nash and Joe are attacked by someone driving a monster truck, Nash gets a lead and tells Joe they're going after him.
    Joe: Can't we take a bigger car? (Beat) Or a bus, perhaps?
  • After following up the lead, Nash and Joe find someone trying to sabotage the 'Cuda. When he sees he's outnumbered, he jumps onto his crawler and rolls down the hill.
    Joe: Does he have brakes on that thing?
    Nash: No.
    Joe: Think he'll be able to stop before...
    Nash: No.
    (we hear brakes squeal and a crash)
    Nash: Hope he's got a good HMO.
• In "Lap Dance", the SIU gets their hands on a laptop supposedly containing high-tech data. Harvey gets to look it over. By the time he's done, he's staring at the program code bug-eyed and makes the following pronouncement:
  Nash, the most high-tech thing on this computer is the flying toaster screen saver.
• One episode focuses on the discovery of the skeletal remains of a missing man. They also find his wallet and the picture on his driver's license looks exactly like Angel, the local eccentric who dresses like an angel and claims to be sent to protect the main characters. They bring Angel to the SIU and show him the victim's photograph.
  Nash: Does this guy look familiar?
  Angel: No.
  Nash: What? Are you telling me that's not you?
  Angel: Of course not. His energy's inverted, his aura's all messed up, and his part's on the wrong side.