Funny / Mystery Show

• In episode one, Starlee questions the crowd at the neighborhood bar, who tell her about a small video store that flooded and how sad they were to see it go. One guy tries to look on the bright side:
  Male patron: We still have that one video store.
  Linda: He's more porno.
  Male patron: Yeah, it is.
• A short while later, when Starlee realizes that Laura and Linda's timelines don't add up, she and Laura try to ignore the obvious and start in on the Epileptic Trees:
  Starlee: Is it the kind of period that you think it's conceivable you lost three months of your life and you didn't realize it?
  Laura: I will say on the way home, I met an old crone who asked me to help chop down a tree, and I said, "no grandmother, for I'm going to go home and watch this movie." The next thing I knew, I was watching Must Love Dogs.
  Starlee: You don't think it's conceivable that everyone in your life could have built a simulation of your world and just left out this one detail of the video store?
  Laura: Oh sure. That's conceivable. A parallel universe constructed and everyone is in on it except me. Totally conceivable. Because I do think that most of the time everyone is planning a surprise party for me.
• When she has no more clues to follow up on, Starlee walks into a random store and asks the clerk if she remembers the video store.
  Clerk: Yeah, and I was their first customer.
  Starlee: [voiceover] I can't believe that worked.
• In episode three, Starlee finds an old message board posting from someone else looking for Hans Jordi.
  Starlee: I stared at the message suspiciously. I was looking for Hans Jordi. How many belt buckles had this guy lost?
  • Starlee then learns that the man, Chef Karl, had never found Hans Jordi because he had never bothered to check for responses to his posting.
  • Their parting:
  Starlee: I might use some of this on the show.
  Chef Karl: Okay. Whatever.
• The Kind Snacks ad in episode three, which involves a bunch of small children trying to pronounce the word "cinnamon," except for one.
  Grown-up: [prompting] Cinnamon.
  Little kid: [beat] Fire truck.
  Starlee: Fire Truck: The Kind Snack ingredient you can see and pronounce.
• Chef Rene playing CaptainObvious:
  Chef Rene: I knew it was going to be his. I got that feeling because it said his name.
• Carol, a former 911 operator tells a story of a man who taught his dog to drive his car. When she explains that he was cited for letting an unlicensed driver drive the car, Starlee latches onto the idea that if the dog was licensed, it would be legal, and immediately decides that she wants to teach her dog to drive.
• One of the reasons that Starlee's stakeout fails in episode four is because she didn't count on it being dark at 8:30 in the evening.
• Starlee introducing her client in episode five:
  Starlee: David is a former political cartoonist who runs an Artisanal Pencil Sharpening company out of his home in the country. You send him your unsharpened pencils and he sends them back to you, sharpened. I am telling you this so you'll understand that David is both a man who appreciates the more nuanced details of life and a man with a lot of time on his hands.
  • Their first meeting is basically David doing a DramaticReading of the celebheights.com page on Jake Gyllenhaal, which he calls the "Infinite Jest of Jake-Gyllenhaal-height-related discourse."
  • The comment from one celebheights.com user who thought Jake was six-foot-five and clearly has no inerest in engaging further in the debate.
  • A bit of Dark Comedy about the ending of Source Code:
  David: Although at the end of the movie, it's revealed he's actually just a blown-up torso, which makes calculating his height even that much more difficult, because he doesn't have legs.
• Starlee's reputation precedes her. When her friend Sloane approaches Jake Gyllenhaal in a restaurant and asks how tall he is, his answer is, "Why does everyone want to know this?" Cue David bursting into laughter.
  • Later in their conversation:
  Sloane: So you're six-foot?
  Jake: I'm six-eight.
  Sloane: Oh, come on!
• In "Kotter," Starlee questions her investigator's claim that he was "watching intently:"
  Starlee: Was your nose pressed to the screen?
  Eric: It was not pressed to the screen.
  Starlee: That's what watching intently looks like.
  Eric: I'm sorry to have let you down again.
• When Starlee points out to Alan Sacks that he's wearing the outfit from the lunchbox that they're discussing, he denies that he did it on purpose, and points out that it's a Japanese denim shirt.
• In the Kind Snacks ad in episode six, Starlee and her friend use blueberries to make blue dye.
  Starlee: This would be the perfect thing to revamp that Dracula costume.
  Kaitlyn: Yeah, that's true.
  Starlee: Revamp.
  Kaitlyn: I know. I heard.
• Elmer Lenhardt's friend Dan tells of having to come up with new concepts for Micky and Minnie lunchboxes, and the long approval process involved, until one year he got fed up and handed in a picture of a dead Pluto having been run over by a car. The art director responded by telling him that they couldn't approve it, but that all the artists had passed it around for a good laugh.
• When Starlee asks Beverly about the knotted jacket on the lunchbox, all she can offer is "It might be a joke."
  Starlee: Do you think that's a good joke?
  Beverly: [beat] I think it's a joke.
• Starlee gets to share some interesting information with Elmer's former neighbor:
  Starlee: If I say "professional wrestler"...
  Joe: Yeah.
  Starlee: Do you think of Elmer?
  Joe: [beat] When you say professional wrestler?
  Starlee: Yes.
  Joe: [beat] I do not.
• The author of The Modern Cowboy has moved on from pranking cowboys.
  John: The ladies in our soprano section are never suspecting a prank.
  Starlee: How do they react?
  John: Well, they always know who did it.
• The Stinger of "Kotter," wherein Jonathan tells Starlee that he has a life-size puzzle of Gabe Kotter that, yes, he bought as an adult.