Funny / Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers

Per wiki policy on Moments pages, all spoilers below will be unmarked. Read ahead at your own risk. You Have Been Warned.

---

• Mickey, Donald, and Goofy's first day on the job as Musketeers.
  Mickey: This is it guys, when these doors open, we got to make a very first impression. (Donald stands, Goofy licks hair, then stands) Okay guys, we're on duty, and this place will be crawling with bad guys.
  Donald: Bad guys?
  Mickey: (seriously) So, stay alert!
  Donald: (to Goofy) You heard him! Stay alert!
  Goofy: Aye-aye sir! (looks around, sees a suit of armor with an ax) Bad guy! No! Whoa!
  Mickey: Goofy!
  Goofy: (Goofy attacks himself) Gawrsh! He pulled an ax on me. (shows an ax)
• The first thing Mickey, Donald, and Goofy do when they see Daisy holding a butter knife? They jump her assuming that she's trying to attack the princess... with a butter knife.
• This exchange between Pete and the Beagle Boys:
  First Beagle Boy: Well, we did exactly what you said to do and dropped a safe on the princess!
  Pete: YOU WHAT?! I didn't say drop a safe, you dolt! I said keep her safe!
  Second Beagle Boy: Well, that's good...'cause we missed her!
• "I can't hear nothin' but step-clop, step-clop."
  • When one of the Beagle Brothers tells the other Beagle Brother to "have a gander at Monstro's better side" (they're both peering through a keyhole at Shorty and Peg-Leg Pete), that Beagle Brother takes a turn peering through the keyhole only to find Pete peering right back at them, before Pete reaches through the keyhole and pulls them into the room.
• This exchange:
  Mickey: Together, we'll save the princess, or die trying!
  [He and Goofy charge after the runaway carriage]
  Donald: ...Die?
  [Mickey and Goofy run back to grab him]
  Donald: Die?
• The entire fight scene in the opera house set to Gilbert and Sullivan.
  • During the fight, the Major-General spins around... which means he fast-forwards to a later line in his song.
• You Must Be This Tall To Survive This Dungeon
• Minnie hilariously spoofing the classic Disney Princesses with her over-the-top prancing around dreaming of her true love.
  Minnie: He loves me... Heehee! He loves me more!
  Minnie: A FORBIDDEN LOVE?! ...How romantic!
• The Troubadour makes a comment regarding Pete...
  Troubadour: Oh no...when the bad guy is that happy, it always, always means...
  (He manages to pull a tuba out of his shell)
  Troubadour: BAD GUY SOOOOOONG~!
  • The song is pretty hilarious on its own, set to the tune of Edward Grieg's Hall of the Mountain King. Pete holds a long last note as he dramatically rips his shirt off... but the backing track does not.
  Pete: PETEY'S KING OF FFFFRRRRAAAAAAAANCE... (visibly confused and deflated) ...why'd the music stop?
• Toward the beginning of the movie, Pete is letting our heroes know why they will never be Musketeers. He turns to Goofy...
  Operator voice from Goofy's head: We're sorry, the number you reached has been disconnected.
  Pete: (in disgust) You're a doofus.
• The tall Beagle Boy's response to Mickey challenging him to a duel is to shout that French words make him mad and slice Mickey's rapier to pieces before cutting apart Mickey's uniform... to reveal his classic red shorts with yellow buttons. After a brief pause, Mickey strikes his classic arms-spread pose and laughs.
• The way Pete swings back and forth between a Knight of Cerebus and Laughably Evil creates some hilarious Mood Whiplash. Like the legitimately terrifying moment when he has Donald in a guillotine, evil laughter, thunder, the whole shebang, then, just as he's about to flip the switch, everything stops as he has a dippy smile on his face and he says "I'm in such a good mood." Before going right back to terrifying again.
  • One of his Laughably Evil moments is him pushing his thumb and index fingers together at Minnie's neck after saying he'll show a her pain in the neck and she demands for Musketeer bodyguards. It's petty but at the same time relatable. Even funnier is when Minnie turns around and Pete can only laugh sheepishly with a matching smile while quickly switching to an "okay" sign.
• In the previously mentioned guillotine scene, Pete throws the switch to drop the blade on Donald. Donald manages to squeeze his head out of the hole and run. Pete decides to give chase by following him THROUGH the neckhole of the guillotine. He somehow squeezes his fat body through the hole and out the other end only for the blade to slice off his peg-leg, to which he winces in agony as if his actual foot got cut off.
• "Love So Lovely" is a song where the lyrics almost instantly enter the Department of Redundancy Department.
• The Troubadour sings "This is the end" to Goofy in a dramatic voice (to the tune of Beethoven's Symphony No. 5), then repeats the line... while pointing at Donald's butt (as he is hiding his head, cowering in fear).
• The entire Running Gag of the opera poster.
  Pete: The opera. It's tomorrow night?
  Poster: Come, friends, who plough the seas!
  [later...]
  Pete: The opera's tomorrow night!
  Poster: Come, friends, who plough the seas! (Cut back to Pete who looks noticeably confused)
  [later...]
  Pete: Now we're gonna have to pull the switcheroo tomorrow night... at the opera!
  Poster: Come, friends, who plough the seas!
  Pete: (beat) ...That little ditty's starting to grow on me!
• "I did it, Mommy! (rips off Musketeer outfit to reveal kingly garb) I'm king of all France!... I feel like eatin' a snail."
• Goofy falls head over heels in love with Clarabelle as she is literally about to kill him and sings to her... Prompting a hilariously abrupt High-Heel–Face Turn.
• Donald has always been a bit of The Unintelligible due to the way he talks, however it always appears everyone in universe can understand him (most of the time), one moment where this is averted is when he finds Mickey after discovering Captain Pete's plan.
  Donald: Pete is gonna kidnap Princess Minnie, so he can become king, 'cause he's really a bad guy, and he has a secret lair and it's really dark and scary. So the point is, he's gonna kill us if we get in his way, so we should run now as far away as we can!
  (Mickey and Pluto look at each other then back at the camera)
  Mickey: Donald, I can't understand a word you said.
  • In the same scene, this exchange:
  Mickey: Well, lie or no lie, Musketeers don't run from danger. And as long as we wear these uniforms, neither do we!
  Donald: (appearing to agree) You said it! (Rips off his uniform and packs up his stuff) It's every duck for himself!
• When Mickey, Donald, and Goofy arrive at the tower the Beagle Brothers are taking the princess, one of the brothers asks how they plan to deal with them.
  Beagle Brother: We's eighty-seven floors up! It'll be HOURS before they're on us!
  [The Musketeers immediately show up, wheezing and winded from bolting up the stairs in literal seconds]
  Mickey: [Catching his breath and visibly exhausted] Hold it right there...[gasp] You fiends-!!
  • Earlier, when Mickey, Donald and Goofy are trying to get in by pulling the door open, Goofy is ready to burst down the door with a charge. Mickey and Donald only then notice the sign that the door has to be pushed and do so before they can warn Goofy who goes right up the tower, past the Beagle Boys and ends up in a while slew of shenanigans before falling back to where his pals are.
    • Even better? He initiates said slew of shenanigans alongside Mickey to beat the Beagle Boys!
• When Minnie demands Musketeer bodyguards, Pete pulls out a calendar...which has two dates clearly marked "Kidnap Minnie" and "Become King" and he points to the day after the "Become King" and says "How about next Thursday?"

---