Spoilers can't be marked on this page. You have been warned.
Alex's nightmare at the start may be hideous, but the elderly versions of his friends are Actually Pretty Funny.
Elder!Marty: Oh, goody, you're here! (shoves straw in Alex's mouth) Why don't y'just chew on this? I'm hungry, nom-nom-nom-nom!
The entire first twenty minutes of the movie, especially the car escape, is both awesome and hilarious and worth watching the movie for all on its own.
One notable moment is when- after Melman and Alex have their speech muffled by their snorkels and have to repeat themselves after removing them- Marty does the same thing, only to reveal he was just babbling nonsense for the fun of it!
Everyone looks on in horror as their van falls off a building with King Julien still inside... and a hopeful smile creeps onto Maurice's face.
Becomes funnier as he comes back up with the penguins' chopper, and while Mort is delighted, Maurice's smile fades.
During the chase scene as DuBois goes through several walls and tries to catch up to the animal plane:
Another quick scene with Julien, thinking that DuBois and her animal control goons are paparazzi and opens the back of the van, narcissistically posing for them. DuBois hits him in the butt with a tranq dart, with Mort and Maurice slamming the doors.
Julien: Don't take—(gets tranquilized) any phootooos...
The crash site is littered with banana peels. The officers stand around it, reluctant to step into the cordoned off area until one decides to do it. It ends about as well as you expect.
Cop: DON'T BE A HERO!
Julien stealing the Pope's ring as an engagement ring for Sonya.
And then immediately selling it to a motorcycle dealer. Sonya roars out of the shop, riding a brand new silver Ducati... right before the police aim their guns at the hapless motorcycle dealer.
What makes this is even funnier, is how the motorcycle dealer bears some resemblance to the Druggie from Sausage Party, which ends up becoming Hilarious in Hindsight considering that one of this film's directors, Conrad Vernon, later went on to direct that film.
Skipper revealing he spent the last of their money on gold teeth so he can eat apples... only to find out that he doesn't really like them.
On a related note, when he wants to buy an airbus made of solid gold, Kowalski points out that such a plane would fall from the sky. Skipper's response? "We'll be rich, Kowalski! The laws of physicswon't apply to us!"
During Alex's Rousing Speech to Vitaly, the two get in a tussle that inadvertently results in them batting around a ball of yarn, before Vitaly grabs the yarn ball and stuffs it back into his suitcase.
Marty's "Afro Circus" song may be annoying, but it's so ridiculous it just builds the laughter out of you.
Eric Darnell: We came in with this idea that Marty would hum that classic circus tune while he danced around with a big wig on his head. And Chris came up with this song that is just...amazing! (Cue a split screen showing Chris Rock in the recording booth singing "Afro Circus") And that's the kinda thing you'll only get by bringing someone like Chris Rock in.
Granted, the melody isn't his (it's from Julius Fucik's "Entry of the Gladiators" note Yes, that is the real name of the stereotypical circus music. ) but still hilarious.
As Alex and Gia practice his made-up trapeze act, she follows every move he makes, which includes flying face-first into a pole. And catching onto the platform with their teeth.
When Julien brings the news that the other Zoosters have been captured by DuBois, Gia wants to rescue them because "circus folk stick together". The horses remind them all that the Zoosters lied to them, that they aren't really circus folk and don't belong. Vitaly's response is this, heartwarming, and awesome all at once:
Skipper: Never thought I would say this on American soil, but the Ruskie is right.
There's just something about the Phil/Mason "King of Versailles" Totem Pole Trench getting a little too into the keyboards and keytar, like a cross between Elton John and the musical Amadeus.
The fact that the chimps used that kind of flamboyant getup for their disguise for no good reason.
When the Penguins are playing cards with each other, all of them have five aces.
DuBois arrives to take Alex. The penguins take care of her and her cronies in less than 20 seconds!
Skipper:Incoming!(smacks DuBois in the face with a 100 kilo sack) (she falls in the fully charged cannon; they tie her up with they already knocked-out guys) Skipper:(as Rico lights a match) Outgoing! DuBois: Wait! (blam!)
Just before that, Alex turns on the phone so the penguins can hear DuBois and it cuts to the penguins' reactions, Kowalski and Private are shocked, Rico is indifferent, and Skipper rolls his eyes as if to say, "Seriously? This chick again?"
If you pause right after the sack hits DuBois in the face, you'll notice Vitaly has a slight smile on his face as if to say, "You got what was coming to you, lady."
The Penguins using Private's butt to light their matches.
The penguins after the Third-Act Misunderstanding, quietly creep away, pretending they didn't know the Zoosters weren't circus and they had lied to them too.
DuBois: Where there is circus, there is lion. And when in Rome... VIVE LA FRANCE! (steals a police motorcycle... which is chained to other motorbikes, dragging them along)
Then the officers pull the chain, causing DuBois to sail into a fountain with Julien and Sonya nearby. As the the oblivious lemur and bear leave, DuBois readies her tranquilizer gun at them, only to have a police officer cuff her wrist.
Cop #1: You're in-a big trouble— (DuBois tranquilizes him, sending him to the ground) Cop #2: Now you're really in-a big troub— (DuBois tranquilizes him, sending him to the ground) Cop #3 Now you're really, really in-a big troub— (DuBois tranquilizes him, sending him to the ground) Cop #4: I'm-a new! (DuBois tries to tranquilize him, but her gun is empty; she growls)
DuBois' escape from prison and fooling the officers is hilarious as the officers lampshade every possible criminal escape cliche.
Comandante: Captain Chantal DuBois, get up! You are going back to Monte Carlo under maximum security. [no response; Comandante silently orders one of the guards to uncover the sheets, revealing a bunch of pillows] What?! It's just a pillow! Guard 1: Eh, that's the oldest trick in the book, Comandante. Every Bambino in-a Italy knows-a that one! Comandante: Maybe, but do they know about the old escape hole behind the innocent-looking poster?! (tears the poster off the wall, only to reveal a mirror drawn with arrows, a kissing mark and the word "Stupido" written in lipstick, which provides the image for this page) Or the really old "I'm-Gonna-Hide-Up-in-the-Ceiling" trick! (blindly shoots at the ceiling. Plaster falls and hits him on the head) Guard 2: [whistles and points to a hole under the bed] Comandante: Of course! The secret tunnel under the bed! Get this thing out of the way! [the guards move the bed, revealing the "escape tunnel"] Let's go! (One by one, they jump into the hole. Then it's revealed DuBois was really hiding inside the bed as she cuts a hole out with her knife) This secret tunnel is a dead end! Guard 2: There's nothing but bed springs and mattress stuffing down here! [DuBois leaves the cell and kicks the door shut behind her] Comandante: Was that the sound of a cell door closing?
Then as DuBois uses the Comadante's computer to print a headline of Alex still missing from the zoo.
Comandante: Was that the sound of my HP printer printing?
Also this:
Skipper: I hope you know what you're doing. You're risking Private's community college fund.
Private: (coloring a book) I'll never be President!
It's a fairly minor one, but Alex and Marty argue over who should be the leader of their group early on in the film. This issue comes and goes up until they meet Vitaly for the first time and he threateningly demands to speak to their leader. Cue Marty using an exaggerated gesture to point to Alex as their leader. Alex's eye-roll is understandably funny.
"Initiate warp drive!"
The circus dogs. One particular moment:
Alex: Circus is in here.
(points to one dog's heart, and he looks inside his dress; another dog looks in there)
Frankie: How come Freddie gets all the circus?
(Freddie punches Frankie square in the face)
The Music Train scene has the penguins operating the train, which includes Kowalski jumping on Private who's holding up the bellows.
After the animals arrived at Europe through scuba diving, Melman says something behind his diving mask, which sounds like blabbering. But it turns out that he just had something to say. Same with Alex. Then Marty says some blabbering behind his diving mask, but when he takes it off, he really was blabbering!
The penguins pillow-fighting in the Monaco hotel:
Skipper: You pillow fight like a bunch of little girls! (Rico jumps from behind and hits Skipper with a pillow that went through him, sending feathers flying everywhere) Chimichanga! These pillows are filled with baby birds!
And behind him on the wall someone wrote "Penguins Rool, Chimps Drool".
During the Rome disaster, one of the kids in the audience starts pelting an elephant with spitballs, causing the elephant to lose his balance and topple toward the kid. The elephant is then seen exiting stage left... with the kid in his rear end.
Near the end, when the Zoosters finally reach the Central Park Zoo gates, after the long Tear Jerker moment and a Rousing Speech from Alex, they get hit with DuBois' tranquilizers. Their reactions are hilarious, and are a Call-Back to Alex's Mushroom Samba in the first film!
Melman: Hey, is my neck getting longer?
Alex: Feel my fur. It's so soft.
Gloria: It is soft!
Marty: I'm like a candy cane in a black-and-white movie!
Alex: Oh no... DuBois— (passes out)
Julien: Sonia, I miss you, baby! I miss my stinky bear!
After the scene mentioned above, the zookeepers see the tranquilized animals and mistakenly believe DuBois has returned them. When DuBois expresses her confusion, all the zookeepers can hear is "Qu'est-ce que c'est?"
How do the Penguins come to the rescue at the end? By commandeering an entire flying circus!
Eric Darnell: We came in with this idea that Marty would hum that classic circus tune while he danced around with a big wig on his head. And Chris came up with this song that is just...amazing! (Cue a split screen showing Chris Rock in the recording booth singing "Afro Circus") And that's the kinda thing you'll only get by bringing someone like Chris Rock in.