Funny / Love at First Bite

• When officials show up to evict Dracula from his castle...
  Renfield: I think they're from the government.
  Dracula: How do you know?
  Renfield: They're wearing shoes.
• "This is not the lobby of the Plaza Hotel?"
• Cindy brings Dracula to her apartment:
  Cindy: Can I get you anything?
  Dracula: ...A broom, perhaps?
  Cindy: Eh? Oh, I hate housework. It killed my mother.
• Dracula and Van Helsing blasting each other with hypnotism so powerful, the splash-off knocks out a waiter.
• Dracula studying a dictionary of "modern" slang that turns out to be from 1926. Takes a rueful pivot toward the basic conflict between Dracula and the modern world:
  Dracula: Renfield, you bungling moron! This book is as out of date as... I am.