Funny / Lazy Game Reviews

• When he plays Train Simulator 2012, there is one point where the train derails because he was going too fast. Except instead of simply running off the rails, it goes soaring through the air as if he hit a nuclear bomb. LGR's reaction is simply priceless.
  Clint: Turn my wipers back on; yeah, we're gonna make sure we don't get rained on. If we do, we're gonna...whoa, whoa, wuh—! (breaks down)
• His review of "Sims 3: Katy Perry Sweet Treats" is chock-full of these. He absolutely slaughters the game with a barrage of insults, one-liners, and comparisons to diabetes. Highlights include locking furniture and Sims wearing clothing from the stuff pack in a room, setting the room on fire, and dubbing it the "Katy Perry Sweet Treats House of Pain", and ending the video by eating the pack's cover art, something he regretted later on when it turned out the pack was discontinued and for awhile, went for $40 for a used copy on eBay. ^note However, in his "The Sims 2 Open for Business" Let's Play, he admitted that he actually ate a copy of the original box art
• During his look at the Adlib sound card, he goes through all the box contents and notices a thank-you letter from the president of the company. He paraphrases it as "Thank you, you're awesome for buying our stuff, don't buy Creative."
• His reaction to unpacking an untouched Model M keyboard in his IBM PC AT unboxing video. It has to be seen to be believed.
• LGR Plays Barbie Super Sports. No amount of description can do the whole thing justice, but just to give a few highlights — there is the sound of "Press the X button" every single time you move to another option, and, as mentioned on the main page, the water fountain incident. He finds a water fountain in the store that does absolutely nothing except...well, give water. No rhyme or reason. He breaks out laughing hysterically over the sheer pointlessness.
• LGR Thrifts:
  • Episode 5 has some funny moments all around (including a cock joke that'd make James May chuckle), but the best comes in at the 6:30-mark, when this porcelain angel....thing is brought before the camera, with LGR freaking out and yelling to get it away from him.
  • In Episode 19, at about the 9:25 mark, there is one point where he drops a picture cube and hits a baby doll, and it starts to let out a creepy laugh. What follows is a priceless reaction.
    LGR: Happy baby? Uh-uh...no, no, no! There's nothing happy about you, baby! Demon baby!? Evil Satan baby!? Why is it laughing so much!? I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE! Wh...SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT KID!
  • In Episode 20, he comes across a clock with a painting of Jesus being crucified on its face. He exclaims that it's "Time-to-kill-Jesus o'clock".
• LGR's reactions to Skyscraper Simulator's really buggy sound effects.
• LGR's reaction to one of the playable characters, or "vaguely human polygons with a slew of serious medical conditions", in his review of Extreme Boards And Blades. The sad music that plays as he says this helps makes the joke work:
  LGR: (screen zooms in on the player) Oh my word, what happened to your head? I am so sorry.
  • His review of this game is really humorous, containing plenty of jokes describing how terrible it is. He even points out some of the worst bugs that it has. One of the best jokes in this video is his reaction to the fact that this game has a sequel.
    LGR: Oh what the *beep*, there's a sequel?!
• LGR's review of Boards and Blades 2 isn't as funny as his review of the prequel, but is still amusing none the less.
  • The review starts off with more well-deserved insults towards the previous game. He also jokes that the playable characters were arrested for being a part of the previous game, which he counts as a felony.
• LGR's reaction to the boxart of Tongue of the Fatman.
• In the playthrough of the Early Access game Besiege, he builds several contraptions that explode or otherwise fail seconds after starting, some of which still manage to destroy the target anyway!
• In his review of the MSX2, he complains about his particular model's subpar keyboard, then says that the indentation under it makes up for it by being a good place to hold Smarties.
• The collaborative Let's Play of The Organ Trail with Pushing Up Roses. His party included himself, Pushing Up Roses, Duke Nukem, "Anyone", and fellow Retroware contributor Laserfrog (who was not present). The randomly generated hijinks induced frequent impersonations of Duke Nukem and Laserfrog and Anyone's various body parts breaking every other turn.
• In Classic AOL on Modern Windows, LGR finds out that the "Local" channel still works...and then a chat window opens. What happens next prompts some priceless laughs.
  (Instant Message sound plays)
  Clint: ...What the heck? Oh, seriously? (laughter begins)
• He says that despite the numerous versions of Carmen Sandiego for different computer models, he's going to play the Apple II version. Why? "Because tiny clothespins, that's why!" The video cuts from the Carmen Sandiego box to him opening and closing a tiny clothespin in each hand.
• His reaction to how utterly patriotic the box art for Liberty Or Death is, to the point of wanting to add some props to make it even more patriotic. Cue the game box with two sparklers sticking out of the sides, sitting on a table with a bust of George Washington, a cheeseburger, an apple pie and a gun.
• During his review of Super 3D Noah's Ark he starts off confused as to whether the game is called "Super Noah's Ark 3D" or "Super 3D Noah's Ark" because of the logo being rather confusing. He then goes on to continuously butcher the name more and more until it becomes "3D Super 3D Noah's of 3D Ark 3D."
• His review of The Adventures of Ninja Nanny has to be seen to be believed. The game is filled with obnoxious MIDIs and sound effects, pointless AVI files (that don’t even open in the game itself, just in the Windows player), MS Paint quality graphics and utterly fails to teach you anything despite it passing off as an edutainment title. LGR's reaction to everything that happens in the game is pure gold. To top it off, after reviewing the game, he went outside to get away from the computer, with the game in hand, commenting on how it's "the worst and most brilliant thing he ever played". A few of the comments joke about how the game "broke" LGR.
  • The intro shows Clint unlocking a case that contained his copy of the game.
    Clint: There are some games you just don't want out there in the open in case someone accidentally plays it, gets hurt, and their destiny is forever altered.
• For a bit of absurd humor, LGR tested a wrist rest that just so happened to be shaped like a loaf of French bread. Many commenters on the video stated their disappointment that he did not compare how an actual loaf of bread compares to the fake bread wrist rest. He released a follow-up video that did just that. And, he finds the real bread to be the better wrist rest!
  • At one point he states that he's watching what he says so people don't make a YouTube Poop out of the video. People still did anyway.
• Towards the end of his Disney Sound Source video, Clint shows off how the speaker can be set up manually, by playing Duke Nukem 3D. He comments the irony of hearing the sounds of sex and violence coming from a speaker with a Hidden Mickey etched into it.
  • The Stinger at the end of that same video
    Clint: Huh... I wonder what you get if you plug the Covox Speech Thing into the Disney Sound Source...?
    (plugs the devices in)
    Genie: PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS!!
• Sonic's Schoolhouse provides a treasure trove of funny moments.
  • "Yay, it's Sonic!" "I'm Sonic!" "Aah! You're not Sonic! What's with your voice dude? Err... lady?"
  • "Oh, so THAT'S what grown-ups are for: choosing your name in a cheap, edutainment cash grab."
  • Clint advises you to enter an appropriate name for how you're feeling; for him, it's "Is This Hell?"
  • His response to the claim that Sonic's Schoolhouse is "the 1st educational title to play like a game".
    "Because, as we all knew, in 1996, anything not in 3D is not a game."
  • When he exits the game initially, the game crashes and gives him the Blue Screen of Death. Later, when he starts up a lesson and sees bouncing letters with eyes, he gives us this gem:
  "No, on second thought, I think I've seen enough; give me the Blue Screen of Death again, please."
  • The fact that three bouncing letters were arranged to spell "FUK". Then it happens again, this time with "SUK". These accurately sum up Clint's thoughts on Sonic's Schoolhouse.
    "Thanks for writing my script for me, game."
  • He can't think of a way to end the video, so he ends it the same way that Sonic's Schoolhouse does: a Blue Screen of Death.
• His Oddware review of a bunch of fortune telling software ends with The Tarot card program crashing into a Blue Screen of Death. Clint's reaction is priceless.
• In Opening Yet More Stuff You Sent Me, Clint opens a rather large package from a viewer named Kenneth. The package contains a lot of cushioning protecting a small, white paper packet. The packet contains a single packing peanut.
• His review of Read-A-Rama and Spell-A-Rama. Think of the games as the aforementioned Ninja Nanny except even worse. Both games has really off-putting artwork and character design that makes the ones in Ninja Nanny easier on the eyes, really awful voice acting and really poor educational elements. The most surprisingly thing is that both of these games were distributed by Maxis of all companies. Given to LGR's feelings on the games, he's glad that they're forgotten and they haven't been advertised at all. Until later when he found out otherwise, much to his disappointment.
  • Earlier in the video, Clint is excited to open up his sealed copy of Read-A-Rama, only to discover that there is no disc inside.
• All of the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen game videos with Pushing Up Roses. Special mention to the moment in "Crush Course" where, during a poor rhythm minigame in which you audition for the cheerleading squad, two members of a marching band randomly march past in the background.
• In his X10: MS-DOS Smart Home Automation video, Clint tries out some voice recognition software. For the most part, it does work, then:
  Clint: Well anyway, thanks for all the help HAL, you've been a blast.
  HAL: Monday Friday Wednesday Friday at 12 PM turn on Desk Lamp?
  Clint: (bursts out laughing)
  HAL: Please say yes or no.
  Clint: (laughs even harder)
• While testing out a recently installed DVD drive and MPEG-2 decoder in The 1997 DVD-ROM Upgrade Experience, the opening cutscene of the packed-in version of Wing Commander IV: The Price of Freedom is interrupted by a 3D Text screensaver that says "PENISES". Raucous laughter and an apology ensues.
• The My First Pet Stuff review has a scene where the hedgehog pet runs on a wheel. Cue Sonic R music.^note  To top it off, the hedgehog was named Sanic
• When discussing Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing in his Top 17 worst PC games, he just lets it speak for itself before saying that he's seen better gameplay on a vending machine.
  • In contrast, The Angry Video Game Nerd took one look at the game, and declared it the best video game ever made, particularly since, in its incomplete state, it was impossible to lose.
• In his review of the Parklife expansion for Cities: Skylines, he points out how his first park "ended up a bit more post-apocalyptic than [he] planned" due to firetrucks not being able to extinguish the flames inside the park unless you have fire helicopters for your city. Then he changes the park's name to "Fallout Park" and says: "On second thought, I meant for it to look like that! Now it's a Theme Park, problem solved..."
• Clint messing around with the text-to-speech software in American Girls Premiere. Especially since the first half of the video is generally serious and informative, until...
  "Sometimes, I have a sudden urge to fart on this chair."
  "What the dick?!"
  "Come any closer I will throw a pinball at you. And walk away slowly."
  "It turns out that I lack a human penis. Taaaaa."
  • For his final play, Clint brings back an old favorite:
    "FRESH OATS...FRESH OATS..." *THUD*
• From the makers of Extreme Boards & Blades comes another infamous "game": Extreme Wintersports. As Clint boots up a race for the first time, he finds out the game lagged so hard it runs at a single-digit framerate.
  Game Announcer: Three!... One!... Go!
  (Gameplay starts and Clint bursts into laughter)
  Clint: HOW DO THESE GAMES KEEP GETTING WORSE!?
  • As a callback to his Extreme Boards & Blades review, there's the revelation at the end.
    Clint: The world may never see another Extreme Wintersports again, and we can thank our lucky stars for that... oh what the f*** there's a SEQUEL!?
• In his retrospective on Crysis, he talks about how aliens litter the island "with more snow and tentacles than a Frosty the Snowman hentai".
• During his review of the Kidtech "My First Keyboard", an alphabetical keyboard designed for very young children, Clint decides to put its peanut butter-proof claims to the ultimate test by slathering it with the stuff, along with Hershey's syrup and milk for good measure. To his surprise, it still worked, and was fairly functional even when playing Duke Nukem 3D, though he had to re-map the WASD keys into the BNOP ("Buh-Nopp!") keys (due to the keyboard's unusual alphabetic layout).
• His review of Disney's Aladdin Activity Center contains a blink-and-you'll-miss-it gag where right after he finishes a rather suggestive looking slide puzzle, he briefly overlays the logo for Brazzers (which, for those unaware, is a notorious porn company) over the finished picture for a few frames.
• When discussing the specs of the Nick Click camera:
  Clint: Despite its protruding lens area around front, the Nick Click uses a fixed-focus narrow-angle lens, with an Aperture of "not really", an ISO rating of "nope", and a shutter speed of "you're joking".
• Restoring a Gateway Essential Computer, mainly due to a running gag in the video...
  Clint: Oh my goodness, is it that airplane again? (sighs) It is... Seriously, did this guy just get his pilot's license or, like...? Come on, man, you're, like, right above the house! Fly somewhere else! (Airplane transition)
• During his review of the Monorail all-in-one PC, Clint managed to find, of all things, a giant Porn Stash left on the hard drive.
  Clint: Yeah, it seems the previous owner figured out the seedier side of cyberspace pretty quickly. There's seriously like half a gig of late nineties dial-up wank bank!
  • When discussing the origins of the Monorail company's name, he naturally brings up another certain monorail.
• Clint absolutely loses it when messing around with the neural filters in Photoshop on a picture of himself.
• The WizardWorks Holiday Collection is so inept it has to be seen to be believed. The highlights include a German-made label maker program that's inexplicably only partially translated, off-key MIDI renditions of Christmas classics, and 16-bit Windows era screensavers that run too fast on the Megaluminum Monster's Pentium III.
  • One of the programs included is a T-shirt maker program with preset designs that are too bizarre and kitschy for words. Clint is taken so aback, he actually tries to print off a shirt with said program's presets. Hilarity, and considerable failure, ensue.
• At the beginning of the video where he shows off his synth setup, he discusses the different types of Electronic Music he likes to make, including ambient, Acid Techno, and what the subtitles describe as a "flatulent Super Mario Bros. tune". When showing off the last one, Clint bursts out laughing before playing it a second time.
• During his play of Detective Barbie in The Mystery of the Carnival Caper with Pushing Up Roses, she mentions he got so bored with the game, he got up and cooked bacon, and if you listen closely, you can hear him eating during the livestream. He offers her some and she, while laughing, declines. The video is also a bit heartwarming in that it sounds less like a standard playthrough and more like two good friends genuinely having a good time.
  • Clint is amazed at how the game has a massive list of names for the player, all of which are voice acted. He is also hilariously creeped out by Barbie's almost aggressive tone when she says "Clint!"
  • When PUR is looking around trying to find clues and wonders if the game will give her one, Clint comes up with this gem:
  PUR: Is this gonna give me a clue? Because—
  Clint: It's gonna give you a raging clue.
  PUR: Dude! It's a children's game, Clint! *Clint bursts out laughing*
• On the Blerbs channel, Clint tries to show what the soundcard in his Quantex 486DX PC sounds like with Jill of the Jungle, only for the background music to sound so off that he's engulfed in Stunned Silence for a while before eventually doing a hard reset because the dodgy sounds didn't stop even after he quit the game and attempted a soft reboot. Clint can't help but laugh after all that.
  Clint: ... Okay. I'm definitely swapping it out because that sounds like we opened a portal to Hell.
• From the Three Weird Mice sub-series, Clint shows off a car mouse from Viagra, of all companies, with all the innuendos necessary for such a subject. Even more hilariously, the ball of the mouse is heavily coated in lubricant, which Clint insists he didn't do as a joke.
• His video about Bonzi Buddy, wherein he mentions that while the Text to Speech could be used to read sites... those with less mature tendencies would of course abuse it.
  "One time I farted so hard my junk flew right off."
• His video on the sexy mouse has him not taking it seriously since it's a mouse in the shape of a woman's torso and the breasts acting as the left and right click. Upon reading the product info on the back of the package, one of the bullet points says "Do not use in direct sunlight." Cut to Clint using a computer outside with the mouse in direct sunlight. Much to his confusion and amusement, Clint quickly discovers that the sexy mouse does not work in direct sunlight.
• Crossing over with heartwarming, in his video on SimCity 2000, Clint reveals that he was so obsessed with the game as a child that for Halloween, his costume was the box for the game itself that he handpainted himself.
• His review of the Metalfish Y2 Aquarium PC (aka, a Mini-ITX case with an aquarium ontop). Or as a Youtube commenter put it;
  Instead of "Watch a man break a fish tank", it's "Watch a fish tank break a man".
  • For starters the review had to be delayed when the aquarium portion actually shattered during shipping. Forcing him to get a replacement which also suffered minor damage to some of its support structures. He then proceeds to accidently break several of the motherboard LED's while installing it only to then find out that not only is the bundled PSU incompatible with said motherboard (ATX cable is to short), but his backup PSU (which he had gotten due to not trusting the bundled one) proved incompatible with the case. And finally while attempting to test the aquarium portion for leaks he finds out the hard way that not only does he have no water in the house. But its actually out for the entire county!
• The historical context for Clint's Intel Pocket PC Camera review has a twofer. In one article, he spots the camera being used with - of all things - an eMachines eOne that Apple had sued off the market the previous year. Another is that next to an article on the camera in San Francisco Examiner, he spots a column by Jim Cramer ^note  Financial commentator and host of CNBC's Mad Money program who predicts that Audible.com "just another tree falling in the dot-com woods." ^note  Apple would sign an audiobook exclusivity deal with Audible in 2003 while Amazon acquired the brand outright in 2008 for $300 million.
  Clint: On that note, this video is sponsored by - heh, nah. I'm just messin' with ya.