Funny / Knights of the Borrowed Dark

Knights Of The Borrowed Dark

• Simon suggesting that Denizen's aunt might be a spy-chocolatier.
  Less skepticism. More weaponized hazelnut creams.
• This gem:
  All Grey needed was a sword, Denizen thought dumbly, and the image would be complete.
  Grey drew a sword from the bag at his feet.
  • And later: “You did something. Destroyed it. And you didn't even use your sword. Also, you have a sword.”
• Grey has a lot of hilarious lines.
  • "It was a thing. I killed the thing. I don't know what else to tell you."
  • “Couldn't say. Maybe. Who knows? I certainly don't.”
  • “I'm not even here and you get me in trouble.”
  • Him sassing Vivian Hardwick and vice versa:
  Grey: I didn't. I knew exactly what was going on all the time.
  Vivian: And that makes you a unique and special person.
• A this-is-stupid frown is Denizen's default expression.
• “If he so much as catches a cold, the Malleus will melt you both down and use you as scrap.”
• "Together, physics, awkwardness, and unexpected heads in gardens conspired to give Denizen's landing all the grace of a wheelbarrow full of rocks."
• Abigail Falx.
  Abigail: Australia's amazing. Have you been?
  Denizen: Em... no.
  Abigail: Denizen, do you throw?
  Denizen: Em... no.
  • Denizen seriously considers lighting Abigail on fire.
  • He really, really doesn't want to talk to her.
  Why couldn't this have been a dinner party? Nothing major—the entire Order, perhaps. A nice fortress of plates between him and Abigail.
  • Abigail nailing Denizen in the face with a bag of chocolate.
  “Thank you,” he said, and buried his sore nose in a book.
• Grey casually telling Denizen not to do the dishes with a Higher Cant.
• The road trip to Os Reges Point is a fun little break from the growing intensity of the story. And the narration gets hilariously witty.
  The only person sitting near them was D'Aubigny, and she was wearing headphones so large that they deserved their own bus ticket.
  • The “mortal sins” Abigail has committed.
  • The end of the world is no excuse for missing your best friend's birthday.
  • Denizen's lack of knowledge on boats.
  There was even a little cabin toward the... front bit.
  The prow. I think.
• A little bit of black humor in chapter 25:
  He didn't dare look back at Crosscaper, and not just because he was running down a steep hillside road and one slip would do what Grey had planned but with a lot less noise.
• “Who would have thought being a grammar nut would come in handy?”
• This:
  Abigail: And besides, to die in the service of the Order is the greatest of all honors.
  Denizen: Seriously?
  Abigail: God, no. Are you insane?
• Probably the best use of "elaborated" as a dialogue tag ever:
  "Ummm...," Denizen began, and then she was gone, falling apart into a brocade of mist. Very gently, he bumped to the ground.
  "Uhhh...," he elaborated, and then just lay there, staring at the ceiling in silence.
• Denizen, once again breaking new ground in the field of wit and charm.
  Denizen: Oh. Yes. No problem. Good.

The Forever Court

• “We talked. We didn't talk talk. We never talk talk. We don't have anything to talk talk about.”
  • “They had once had an extremely long conversation about the appropriate amount of grout for retiling the bathroom.”
• Most of the Neophytes’ conversations have several funny lines.
• “Afterwards, Denizen and Simon got chips. It was a little anticlimactic.”
  • Simon trolling Denizen about his crush on Mercy.
• Denizen has developed a frown for Vivian's antics.
• Edifice Greaves’s introduction. Guild of Esoteric Librarians, anyone?
• “She’d just… Vivianed.”
• Simon and Abigail discuss what exact kind of political animal Greaves is.
  Abigail: Political animal. What—like a walrus in a tie?
  Simon: Thank you for that image, Abigail. No. Greaves is a—hang on. Why a walrus?
  Abigail: Dunno.
  Simon: Are walruses more political than other animals?
  Abigail: Well, bees are a monarchy.
  Simon: True. A parliament of walruses. Nope, doesn't sound right.
• Abigail sandwiching real talk about Greaves between talking about food.
• This trope Discussion and Subversion:
  Malebranche: And this is the boy.
  Greaves: Let me guess, you thought he’d be taller.
  Malebranche: You all look the same to me.
• Denizen, as always, being a complete ladykiller.
  “Hi,” Denizen said. Right, that’s all I’m planning to say, is it? He took a deep breath. “You broke my window.” Nailed it.
• This.
  Greaves: How are we all getting on?
  Simon: Fantastic. I think my concussions have bruises.
  Abigail: I gave him those concussions. [Beat] Should we have told someone about that?
  Simon: About… what…?
  Abigail: Simon. That’s not funny.
• Denizen asking Vivian for money to buy a shirt, oblivious to the fact that she's pulling his leg.
  • Denizen trying to fix his hair, which takes so long that Abigail and Simon start speculating as to what could have happened to him in the bathroom.
• Denizen’s excursion into Dublin with Mercy.
• The Funny Background Event of Darcie having apparently stolen a robe from the Goshawk.
• A bit from Denizen’s conversation with Jack…
  Jack: You're probably feeling a little stupid.
  Denizen: I am.
  Jack: Like a bit of an idiot.
  Denizen: Yep.
  Jack: A complete--
  Denizen: Yes. I get it. Thank you.
• The word “handcapitate” being used.
• Frown No. 5—Don't Patronize Me, Adult… aka I See What You're Doing, or I Know What You're Up To, or Don't Lie To Me And Pretend You're About To Trigger An Interdimensional War Just To See What I'll Do, You Smarmbucket. Yes, that’s a spoiler tag over a frown.
• Vivian gets shot again. In chapter 24. Her response? “At least Grey knew where to shoot.” Pfft.
• Despite it featuring Denizen being drugged and kidnapped, chapter 26 manages to be absolutely hilarious. From his head pun to deliriously asking how much of his blood would be used as crusade paint, Denizen's drugged-up antics are really funny.
  Unfortunately, due to all the hair and glue, the words came out as a sort of strangled ‘auk’—like someone strangling an auk. The hands did not reply. Perhaps they were missing their head. Perhaps the disappearance of body parts was going around, like a specific and gruesome winter cold.
• This:
  Uriel: When did you read a book?
  Ambrel: Over your shoulder at some point, probably.