Funny / Kingdom Come: Deliverance

• The entire Drunken Montage with Father Godwin in Uzhitz during Mysterious Ways.
  • After getting drunk, Henry gets into a fight with the local guards.
  • When the Bailiff threatens to write a letter to make the bishop excommunicate Godwin, Godwin just brushes it aside because he knows he's the only person who can write in the entire town.
  • If he wins the fight, Henry goes up the belltower to ring the bell late at night with the Father, his concubine, and an ale wench. At this point, Father Godwin has a Vomit Indiscretion Shot as he pukes out of the belltower window.
  • Henry then wakes up to the sounds of Father Godwin having sex with his concubine, only for the other woman to approach Henry for a ride.
  • Then it cuts to Henry and Godwin among a flock of sheep, cutting to a beautiful sunrise and heartfelt bonding moment between the pair... before Godwin bends out of frame to vomit again, all while Henry has a blissfully-drunk smile.
  • And it all culminates in a Zany Scheme where Godwin enlists Henry's help to preach his sermon so he won't get excommunicated for his drunken revelry the night before, which has to be seen to be believed. And yes, it is possible to pull it off.
    • For bonus points, the woman Henry had slept with? She's cheerfully waving to him the next day at Mass.
  • The icing on the cake is the fact that it adds three levels to Henry's drinking skill.
• Another Drunken Montage occurs in another quest with Lord Hans Capon, Next to Godliness... though it's really more of a drunken questline.
  • It starts simple enough with Hans as naked as the game engine allows... because he lost strip-farkle with one of the bathhouse maids. So he asks Henry to beat her at it.
    • The game even goes by the strip rules and will automatically disequip Henry's clothes as he loses, without telling the player!
  • Then Henry can get in the tub with him, and is told to put his clothes in the trunk. You also have the option to get in with clothes on if you instead select the tub. Hans comments on it.
    • As he steps in, he tells Hans to shift over lest he step on anything vital. To which Hans smugly responds that in that case, he'll need a moment to roll it back up.
  • Then it leads to Hans wanting better wine as the stuff at the bathhouse just wasn't that good... he gets Henry to go grab some wine from the Rathaus... which means Henry has to break in and steal it... or, just grab Hans' key from the trunk before going.
  • This is followed with an actual Drunken Montage if Henry accepts, though a relatively tame one compared to Godwin's debauchery above. We still see things like Hans showing one of the bathouse maids how to use a sword and nearly hitting the tub (with Henry in it!), Henry walking around drunkenly with a basket on his head until he falls over, and Henry loosing a massive (if muted) fart into the bath water.
  • The montage ends with Hans getting a bit too frisky with one of the bathouse maids (Klara) who gently tells him off that she's not like the others. Hans agrees, and says that a woman like her deserves something better... like flowers. Guess who goes to pick them?
    • How does Hans get Henry to do it? Drunkenly promising him "squiventy flozen Groschen!" Henry accepts. If the quest succeeds, Henry gets 75 Groschen as one of the quest rewards - as a separate payment too!
    • Said flowers, according to the woman, are poppies, sage, dandelions, and knotweed. Henry drunkenly forgets the last one and gets roses instead.
  • When Henry finally comes back drunk, there's a crowd. Klara's husband (Archibald) shows up and is in full My Girl Is Not a Slut mode... and Hans makes it worse by first calling him Arse-n-Balls and then saying that technically he had touched Klara. Then Archibald tries to drown Hans right as Henry comes in. Seeing the flowers, Archibald does a Double Take before delivering a haymaker to Henry that knocks him right over, a fistfight ensuing.
    • If Henry loses, Archibald runs off angrily with Klara following, and Hans just sits there in a blank stare... before remarking that Henry just got his ass handed to him by Arse-n-balls. If Henry wins, Archibald instead has a massive Oh, Crap! moment when he realizes that he just tried to drown a nobleman who could easily have him imprisoned or executed for it.
• The open nature of the game could lead to some ultra-hilarious situations:
  • People will keep on walking around as usual while you are brawling. This is what happen when a person walks into the tussle.
  • It's possible for random villagers to wander around the shooting range while an archery competition is going on. Hilarious moments ensued.
  • There are some restricted areas in the game, such as people's personal quarters. When you run quickly in and out, people will just proceed to walk to the restricted area, shouting variations on "What was that?" Even as you stand right next to them just outside the restricted zone.
  • To say nothing of the myriad comedic bugs in the game.
    Warhorse Studios: We are working on it!
• A quest Henry can get in Uzhitz, "Playing with the Devil", has him follow a trio of women who had suffered loss and bought an ointment from an herbalist, hoping to see visions of their loved ones. Suffice to say, a Mushroom Samba ensues, in which Henry sees the women as a boar, a chicken, and a mare due to their having accidentally smeared the ointment on him.
• Lord Hanush's amazing royal throne◊.
  • Speaking of Lord Hanush, his Establishing Character Moment, which is the opening voiceover for one of the trailers!
    "Your graces, I have to tell you in all seriousness that our land is in the shit. Deep. Fucking. Shit."
• Beggars accept anything you give them. That includes spoiled food and alcohol. Beggars can't be choosers, eh?
• Henry joining the Monastery in order to hunt down Pious. He ends up having to sing in latin to a priest in order to complete his entrance ritual...and he completely botches the singing, much to the monks's dismay.
• The first trebuchet shot. It's complete with epic music, epic cinematography...only for the rock to barely cross Talmberg's first wall. You can even hear the bandits laughing from the inside. The fact that the only thing it wounded was a rooster was the icing on the cake.
• Remember how the game began with Henry's mother fussing over his injured hand? The A Woman's Lot DLC explains how it happened, Theresa gave it to Henry after they had a go at sparring.
• One of the very first sidequests in the game has Henry joining his mischievous friends to throw shit at another resident's freshly washed house. If the player goes through with it they'll even get an earful from their disappointed father when they get back home. Not exactly the type of starter mission most people were expecting, to say the least...
• The climax of The Amorous Adventures of Sir Hans Capon deserves a mention for sheer absurdity. To recap: Sir Hans is enamored with and pursuing the daughter of Rattay's butcher with Henry acting as wingman. After retrieving Sir Hans's family heirloom (which he lost in a game of dice) from a shady gambling den (by pretending to be a nobleman) and making an elixir the Musk of Infinite Attraction supplied by the regional Charlatan (terrorizing an entire town in the process) and curing Sir Hans when he breaks out in boils from it, Henry and Sir Hans try the traditional Balcony Wooing Scene with Henry prompting Sir Hans from a book of poetry. Sir Hans manages to completely botch the poem but woos the girl anyway leaving Henry to deal with her enraged father by talking his way out with the sounds of loud lovemaking going on in the background. The real kicker comes at the end of the DLC where the butcher confronts an angry Sir Hanush and manages to get some coin out of him while Hanush swears he'll have Hans's balls on a platter.
  • One of the options for Henry during the talk with the butcher is to start singing. To see is to believe. This option leads to butcher thinking that Henry is just insane and leaves without even noticing anyone was there with his daughter.
• Teresa has her own Zany Scheme to deal with, as Johanka recruits Teresa into getting Matthias asking her to the dance, but instead of having her just ask him, she has her break into Matthias' house, steal his lucky playing die, and give it to Johanka so she can present it to Matthias, claiming he left it behind at the pub. If you follow Johanka as she tries it, Matthias is more interested in getting his die back then any of the none-too-subtle hints Johanka keeps dropping, only for him to finally just ask her out so she'll give him the die back. She's so excited that she runs off without ever giving it to him.
• Sir Hanush, though being a lord, is illiterate. After a large battle, the Master Builder comes in to announce that all of the coin they recovered in their raid were worthless facsimiles. Hanush replies, "Fack-what? I don't care what the fack you call them, I want to know what they're facking worth!" Sir Radzig's facepalm at this outburst is epic.

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