Funny / Kindergarten 2

For funny moments in Kindergarten, go here.

School Yard

• Remember how Cindy will accuse you of rape in the first game? You can goad her into doing it again. Only this time, Ms. Applegate isn't having any of it and will start hitting her when she starts, only stopping when the Principal tells her not to hit the students. If you do that, and then pester Ms. Applegate yourself, she will head inside in frustration.

• You can have this little banter once you've gotten Bob's name, and the Janitor is surprisingly lenient on questions for once.
  Janitor: So my nemesis has a name... BOB.
  You: Do you have a name?
  Janitor: What?! No! I lost it in the war.
  You: How did you lose your name in a war?
  Janitor: War changes a man! You wouldn't understand!
  You: Which war?
  Janitor The best one.
  You: Which one was that?
  Janitor: The one I was in! Haven't you been paying attention? Do YOU have a name?
  You: Ummmm...
  Janitor: That's what I thought. So let's stick to the guy who's name we DO know.
• This gem from the beginning of Nugget's mission...
  Nugget The first of the things Nugget needs for his plan is a lighter. Nugget needs a lighter brought into the school.
  You: You say 'Nugget' a lot.
  Nugget: Keen observation. Has Nugget's potential friend also noticed the green of the grass and the blue of the sky?

Morning Time

• If Ms. Applegate has been pushed to frustration in the school yard and then hears a firecracker go off in the classroom, she will snap and storm out of the room. If Nugget hadn't entered the room yet, he will ask what happened. Upon being told the teacher snapped, Nugget asks if this means he isn't the craziest person anymore, to which you tell him "Possibly."
  Nugget: This pleases Nugget. Nugget will carry his new sanity status with honor.
  • It should be noted that Nugget declares this after he unnecessarily bit his own arm off.
• In the seven seconds (time it) in between you popping the firecracker and Ms. Applegate beginning her rant about how much she hates everything, we hear the ticking of a baking timer and the ding of it finishing just to emphasize the moment.

Morning Time (in Smart Class)

• Dr. Danner lamenting that he has to offer prizes for completing the daily assessment "because we can't have learning without incentive anymore. What a world."

Lunch Time

• After the original janitor has murdered Bob in the women's bathroom, he asks a favor of you. During which, Ms. Applegate step out of one of the stalls. When she notices what is going on, she just walks back into the stall.
  Ms. Applegate: Nope. Nope nope nopety nope.
• During the "Things That Go Boom" storyline, you ask Buggs to start a food fight as a means of causing a diversion. Buggs is more than happy to oblige by starting with Nugget then throwing a burger at Ozzy. In retaliation, Ozzy tells Nugget to throw food back at him. Nugget's response:
  Nugget: Nugget has never considered throwing food back at the nasty bully. Nugget normally just poisons his enemies...
  • Even more funny is that Nugget doesn't even hit Buggs when he throws one of his nuggets. He hits Cindy.
  • Also, if you stick around and talk to everybody while the food fight is going on, most of them provide some funny moments.
  • It's even more funny when Buggs responds to Ozzy saying he almost hit him with a "grease ball":
  Buggs: Oh! My mistake! I'll make sure to hit you this time!

Recess

• If Nugget has successfully made his new Nugget Cave, you are actually able to jump inside. Doing so before talking to Nugget results in death. The reason? It may be a fresh Nugget Cave, but it's just as deep as the last one.
  • When you inspect the nuggets you cushioning your fall.
    This is the pile of nuggets that broke my fall. Some theorize that it should be larger, but apparently it's fine.
    • During a livestream, Matt and Stephanie mention their nugget theory moments before the game brings it up and are delighted by the shout out.
• If you liked getting blown to bits by the ducks in the last game, just wait until you try the riddle of the swings!
• If you help Bob get a date with Ms. Applegate, you can find them in the lounge kissing. Your character then shouts that this isn't meant for impressionable young minds and run out.

Study Hall

• The first thing that happens when you go to Study Hall is Dr. Danner telling you that you aren't allowed to talk or move. Upon asking you if that is clear, you are given the option to stay silent, or say that you understand. Choosing the latter results in Dr. Danner shooting you for talking. If you so much as tap an arrow key/button while he's still in the room, the same thing happens.
• On Carla's route, you can cause a food fight after already getting Carla in trouble. Sure enough, it ends with You, Carla, Nugget, Bugs, Jerome, Cindy, and Ozzy in study hall and Dr. Danner says "Look at all the bad children today. My word there are a lot of you. And to make matters worse, I didn't get my coffee." And he falls asleep right there.

Gym

• At the start of gym, Jerome and Carla will be fighting over a ball. If you choose to help Carla, the ball will go flying and hit Ms. Applegate in the face. In response, Ms. Applegate will proceed to beat Jerome to death, chasing all the way to the classroom.
• If you go the alternate "Cain's not Able" route by helping Ted kill Felix, Ted will confess to Nugget that there is no Nugget Factory (which Felix promised to take Nugget to in return for his help). Cue Roaring Rampage of Revenge as Nugget jumps down the hole to beat the crap out of Felix.

Science Class

• Dr. Danner will ask Ozzy if he wants to permit his dying body to be used for anatomy. He even says it's semi-legal and on top of that, he just goes with him accepting it and then saying tomorrow's subject will be on anatomy (possibly including now the dead body of Cindy from when the player convinced her to stuck a fork in the outlet).
• Dr. Danner after knowing he'll be fired for witnessing his magnet pulling off Penny's head, he says this quote:
  Dr. Danner: Well children, looks like this is the end of my tenure here. Stay in school. Don't do any drugs unless I gave them to you. (Flies through the ceiling with a jetpack.)

End of Day

• After finishing the Cain's not Able route by killing Ted, Felix and Nugget have this exchange:
  Felix: Oh... yes... how could I forget [about that trip to the nugget factory that I promised you]? Ummm... hey weirdo. If there wasn't a nugget factory, that would be okay, right?
  Nugget: Nugget would bury the rich boy with his rich brother
  Felix: Right... okay then. The limo is this way, weirdo. I hope they make nuggets somewhere around here.
• At the end of the Breaking Sad route, Ms. Applegate will tell you to stay in school and not to do drugs, even though she just went into a lengthy speech about how she's going to do the exact opposite.