Funny / Juno

• Much of the movie.
• When Juno goes to the mini-mart to get a pregnancy test (three to be exact) and the store clerk gives her a sarcastic brutally honest answer:
  Store Clerk: (when Juno sees a plus-sign on the third pregnancy test) That ain't no Etch-a-Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be undid, Homeskillet.
  Store Clerk: (third time Juno returns to buy another pregnancy test) Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. Yeah. Maybe your little boyfriend's got mutant sperms. Knocked you up twice.
• When Juno breaks the news to Leah that she's pregnant.
  Leah: How did you generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests? That's amazing...
  Juno: I dunno, I drank, like, ten tons of Sunny D! Anyway, I'm telling you that I'm pregnant, and you're acting shockingly cavalier.
• When Juno tells Mac and Brenda that she's pregnant, they want to know who the father is. When Juno tells them it was Paulie Bleeker...
  Mac: [amused] ...I didn't think he had it in him.
  Leah: [laughing] I know, right?!
  • There's also Juno's awkward defense about how Paulie is "Great...in chair."
• And then:
  Mac: Next time I see that Bleeker kid, I'm gonna punch him in the wiener.
  Brenda: Mac, c'mon. You know it wasn't his idea.
  (Mac grimaces and shrugs as if to say "Touche")
• Trying to reassure Juno in the delivery room:
  Brenda: Doctors are sadists who like to play god and watch lesser people suffer.
• This bit:
  Juno: That's a wise choice. 'Cause I knew this girl, she had this, like, crazy freak out, 'cause she took too many behavioral meds at once and she just, like, ripped off her clothes and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall, and was like, "Blah! I am kraken from the sea!!"
  Su-chin: I heard that was you.
  Juno: Well, it's good seeing you, Su-chin.
• Su-Chin standing outside the abortion clinic chanting over and over "All babies deserve to be born-ed!".
• When Juno goes running out of the abortion clinic, there's this little gem from Su-Chin:
  Su-Chin: (sees Juno running away) God appreciates your miracle!
• "THUNDERCATS ARE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
• The part where Juno talks about Paulie Bleaker's expression when they had sex.
• Almost any time Bleeker says his catchphrase, "wizard".
• The DVD Commentary points out one that a lot of people actually miss. When Juno and Leah see Vanessa in the mall, they duck down and hide...behind a clear pane of glass.