Funny / John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

Per wiki policy, Spoilers Off applies here and all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned.

Film

• Previous John Wick films are filled to the brim with Head Shots. This movie has plenty of those, but apparently the action choreographers wanted to spice things up and include some different attacks. Specifically, Nut Shots. Lots and lots of Nut Shots. There's basically at least one in every major action scene.
• While John faces off against Ernest in the New York Public Library, Ernest briefly pauses their fight to shush John, then immediately slams him very loudly against several shelves.
• Randall Duk Kim's Doctor character, not wanting it known that he helped John after his excommunicado went into effect, advises John to shoot him. After he does, he then realizes one might not be enough then asks John to shoot him again. The fact that John interrupts him both times as the Doctor tries to tell him to be accurate is just icing on the cake.
  • John's disbelief when the doctor wishes him luck, as the doctor is bleeding from two gunshots wounds that John caused.
• John is fighting Huang in an armory. During the fight, the two quickly glance around and both seem to come to the realization that "oh yeah, we're literally surrounded by weapons to use, let's use them". Cue the two smashing apart one glass drawer for each of them to grab some blades.
  • Keep an eye out during the fight and you can see that a few knives just end up hitting the other guy handle first.
  • Special mention goes to the one poor unfortunate mook who keeps getting knives thrown into him, non fatally. From both John and his allies.
  • At the end of the fight, a very injured Huang tries to pull out of a knife from his gut. In the background, a tired John just casually picks up an axe and, almost as an afterthought, throws it... right into Huang's head.
  • Director Chad Stahelski compared the knife throwing to a snowball fight. Good luck unseeing that.
• In a nice bit of meta-humor for the wiki, after the Italians use Car Fu on John, he runs into a stable... and uses Horse Fu on them. Without even getting on the horse!
• The Bowery King continues to absolutely not give a fuck during his conversations with the Adjudicator, after he's asked for a show of "fealty".
  Bowery King: I'm gonna shove so much fealty up your ass it's gonna come spilling out your mouth.
  • The Bowery King boasts that his pigeons are better than the Internet as they are anonymous and unhackable. The Adjudicator quips that at least the Internet doesn't give you diseases.
    Bowery King: Well, I don't recommend that you eat them.
  • And later, when he realizes that he's going to be punished by Zero, while stroking a pigeon:
    Bowery King: (to the pigeon) Avert your eyes, my sweet.
  • "Well, sometimes you gotta cut a motherfucker." Absolutely nonchalant and badass line, but still funny.
• The sheer Mood Whiplash caused by Ninja Re Bang Bang by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu playing in the background during Zero's introduction is just priceless.
• John also ends up at one point proving himself the master of using everything as a weapon, culminating in him getting not one, but two "headshots"... with, of all things, horses.
  • Before the assassin gets back up and fight John, the horse proceeds to back kick his head, effectively snapping his neck and killing him.
  • Not to mention that there was one person that survived the first kick, albeit being severely battered, but of course, John makes the horse back kick again and kills him effectively.
• And then there's this gem of a exchange that lampshades how the entire trilogy happened in the first place:
  Director: All of this for what? Because of a puppy?
  John: Wasn't just a puppy.
• During John's first meeting with Sofia:
  Sofia: Sit.
  [her hounds obey]
  Sofia: I was talking to you, John.
• After Sofia shoots Berrada, provoking a shootout with dozens of his guards, leading to quite possibly the funniest moment of the entire franchise:
  Sofia: He shot my dog.
  John: I get it.
  • During the fight, mooks are repeatedly distracted by the dogs, then shot by either Sofia or John. The dogs never stop just because their targets are dead.
  • In a callback to the first film, John and two mooks all run out of ammo at the same time. All three race to reload in front of each other, with John getting reloaded first and shooting both of them.
  • At the end of the shootout in the gold furnace, one of Sofia's dog's takes down a mook, and Sofia walks by and shoots him in the head. Then, just to be sure, John also shoots him in the head a second later.
• Before dropping John off at the desert, Sofia drinks all of John's water before gargling it and spitting it back into his bottle.
• A bit of meta humor, but the US release of this film also coincides with A Dog's Journey, which is a film featuring dogs. He probably would try and wind down with that one after the events of the film.
• The absurd number of times John gets thrown through glass cases by Zero’s guys during the climax.
• Upon meeting Zero in Grand Central Terminal, John casually kills an assassin behind him.
  John: Is he with you?
  Zero: He was.
  • John then proceeds to perform the exact same Stealth Hi/Bye trick that the assassin just did to get there, to Zero's surprise and annoyance.
• When Zero is about to kill John after the High-Speed Battle, John quickly puts a hand on a step nearby... which is the Continental's staircase. Judging from Zero's complaints to Charon immediately afterward, John was essentially calling "base" like it was an Absurdly High-Stakes Game of tag.
  • Zero and John then walk inside to meet the Manager. Charon asks them to take a seat. John sits at one end of the sofa. ... Zero slowly sits as close as physically possible next to John. John decides that’s close enough and switches to an adjacent chair. Zero meanwhile, pulls a 180 and goes from an assassin trying to kill John to an excited fanboy talking to his idol for a bit. MoodWhiplash so strong it’ll make your neck hurt.
• Zero's reaction to the Adjudicator telling him he may finish his business on Continental grounds and that Elite Mooks are on the way "for additional support".
  Zero: Cool. Very cool.
• Zero repeatedly giving John excited thumbs up or other signs of fanboy approval, even when John’s killing his own students.
• Zero's general fanboyism, including him trying too hard to sell himself as a Worthy Opponent. He attempts to evoke a "Not So Different" Remark, and John seems more annoyed than offended.
  • We get a hilariously awkward scene of him trying to sit next to John on a couch (close enough for their legs to be touching). A very annoyed and tired John just gets up and sits on a chair perpendicular to the couch.
  • When John's dog appears, Zero is amazed to see "THE Dog". Mistake on Zero's part (considering THE Dog was Daisy, who's dead).
  • Zero trying to give his "Not So Different" Remark speech while Dog licks John's face all over.
  • At the end of their duel, Zero is again trying to sit up next to John... with a sword stabbed through his chest.
    Zero: Hey John, that was a pretty good fight, huh?
    John: ...yeah.
  • Then as John gets up to leave:
    Zero: I'll catch up with you.
    John: ...No, you won't.
• Two young would-be assassins walk menacingly toward John in Grand Central Terminal...and then they both get unceremoniously killed off in public by Zero’s guys.
• The first time John arms himself in the vault Charon spends a few seconds explaining him a new type of bullet developed for their handguns. When they try using it on the High Table's troops it has no effect as their armor are upgraded and they are forced to fall back.
  • At one point John gets around this by lifting a mook's visor to shoot them in the face, and then makes sure to slam it back down.
• The first time John ends up going against the heavily armored High Table troops, at one point he tries whacking one in the face... and only ends up hurting his hand. You can even hear him muttering "ow" under his breath.
• John and Charon return to the vault of the Continental to rearm with heavier firepower. Winston just watches them while sipping brandy and not saying a word.
  • John frustratingly knocking on the door and telling Winston they need more firepower, Winston just waves his arms at the wall of guns.
  • Charon soon returns as well, alive, unhurt, but with a distinctly annoyed look on his normally calm face as he takes off his jacket, making a beeline for a large, semi-automatic shotgun, which he takes off the wall and brings to a table with an air of determination that suggests he already knew exactly which gun to take from the moment he needed it.
  • ...Followed immediately by John, who takes an identical one from the same rack with more of a "That'll work" kind of grin.
  • The Adjudicator calls up Winston to deliver a "if you think you can survive" warning. Winston just hangs up on them after a few words. It's the first time The Adjudicator shows an emotion, in this case shock.
  • The second time John and Charon leave, Winston doesn't even wish them well, he just locks the vault with a little remote like he's a suburban dad closing a garage door!
  • John's Dog is sitting next to Winston the entire time, curled up and not moving. Sofia's combat canines he is not.
• At the very end, after John has been shot off the roof of the Continental by Winston and left for dead he encounters the Bowery King again who’s also messed up by Zero delivering the seven slashes dictated by the High Table, but very much alive. The Bowery King gives a short but very emphatic speech about how pissed off he is, then asks John's unmoving and bloodied body if he’s pissed as well. John has to raise a hand to show he heard it... only for the Bowery King to start laughing at John’s severed ring finger... so John gives him the finger instead. His laughter only increases at that, in fact he laughs so hard he makes his injuries flare up.
  • The Tick Tock Man delivering a barely conscious John to the Bowery King in a shopping cart.
  • There's also something hilarious about the way the Bowery King is shown drinking bottles of Fanta whilst on his throne with all the care and gravitas you would normally expect reserved for wine.
• The fight between John and the two shinobis (played by Yayan Ruhian and Cecep Arif Rahman) is tense and amazing, but once John manages to separate the two, we discover that John is actually about a head and a half taller than the two, so he proceeds to deliver an honest-to-god belly-to-belly suplex and Angle Slam on them.
  • The end of the fight after they all went through the glass floor the two shinobi try to stand up with their hand grasping their karambit. Wick, having used them to break his fall, is already up on his feet with a sword in his hand telling them "be seeing you", both wisely decide to stay down.
  • Earlier, the two Shinobi show Villain Respect to John, helping him after they knock him down. The second time that happens, John just brushes them aside with a silent "give me a moment, I've got this" gesture. Then John takes out his belt and gets serious.
    • Even funnier, Keanu Reeves actually slipped during the scene, which you can still see in the final cut.
• John finishes one of Zero's students by two quick sword slashes followed by a spinning back kick. The kick is funny for two reasons: in all their fights so far, Zero's students were hitting John with just about every variety of a kick there is so he probably wanted some long overdue payback; and two, compared to everything else in John's fighting repertoire the kick looks hilariously awkward, like something he's learned years ago and hasn't really practiced since.
• This exchange, following a scene in which Winston has shot John numerous times in the chest, culminating in him falling from the roof of the Continental:
  Adjudicator: Mister Wick is gone.
  Winston: A true tragedy.
  Adjudicator: You misunderstand; I mean he is no longer on the street.
  [Beat]
  Winston: Seems improbable.

Meta

• Keanu Reeves has admitted that director Chad Stahelski convinced him to film the Actor Allusion mentioned on the main page with the promise that they would only do one take and that it wouldn't be used in the film. Halle Berry's reaction to learning that was pretty much "Yeah, that's what they always say."

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