Funny / Inspector Gadget 2

• The opening sequence where Gadget arrests an elderly woman for going 0.3 miles above the speed limit and forgetting her licence. Said old lady turns out to be Chief Quimby's mother!
  Chief Quimby: Where is he?! GADGET! You put my mother in jail for drag-racing?!
  Inspector Gadget: And driving without a license. You always said, Chief, "No one is above the law."
  Chief Quimby: That's what you said last week when you arrested that troop of girl rangers for selling cookies!
  (flashback shows said girl scouts posing for mugshots)
  Inspector Gadget: Those "cookies" were three days past expiration date!
  (Quimby gets his hand in bubble gum)
  Chief Quimby: You are this close to being put on probation, Gadget! Now, let's get my mother out! Heaven knows what's happening to her down there with all those lowlifes!
  (the scene cuts to Mama Quimby in a prison cell with other prisoners)
  Mama Quimby: And then when his guard is down his kidneys are exposed, and that's when the marathon of pain begins! (proceeds to beat the crap out of a prisoner) Who's your grandma now? How about some of this?
  Inspector Gadget: Wowzers! That's gotta hurt!
  (the prisoner hits his head on the jail bars, and Mama Quimby continues to whale on him)
  Chief Quimby: Mom's tough love. This your last warning, Gadget: Stick to solving real crimes!
  Inspector Gadget: But, Chief, there are no criminals left! They're all in Riverton prison!
  (Cut to a stormy night at Riverton Prison as Claw's claw bursts out from under the earth)
• When Gadget goes undercover as he enters the Blue Monkey bar, wearing plaid jacket, knit cap, fake mustache and an eyepatch. A real monkey sits at the counter wearing an Elvis wig and a blue jumpsuit. Gadget approaches the bartender.
  Bartender: What do you want?
  Gadget: Well, I just got outta the slammer. And I'm lookin' to wet my whistle.
  Bartender: What'll ya have?
  Gadget: A glass tall of milk.
  Bartender: Milk?
  Gadget: I mean... chocolate milk. Make it a double.
  • As Gadget drinks the chocolate milk, his mustache remains on the rim as he slams down the empty mug. The Bartender stares at the mustache in the mug. Gadget places the mustache back on his face, and asks the bartender to tell him where Claw's location—and ends up accidentally starting a Bar Brawl.
  Gadget: WHOO! (Bartender stares at the mustache in the mug. Gadget fishes it out and puts it back on his face) I have a history of hair loss in my family.
  Bartender: Anything else I can get you?
  Gadget: Yes. I'm looking for... (makes claw motions with his fingers)
  Bartender: Sorry, we don't serve lobster here.
  Gadget: What? No! Dr. Claw!
  Bartender: Claw, huh? Well, if you wanna find him, you're gonna have to grease a few palms. If ya get my drift.
  Gadget: Well, whatever you say. Here you go. (squirts axle grease into the bartender's hand) Top grade axle grease.
  Bartender: (squeezes the grease in his fist; enraged) WHY, YOU!
  Gadget: Go go gadget, duck! (retracts his head into his collar like a turtle and the bartender punches the man behind him; that man falls against an arm wrestler, who bumps into pool player, sending the cue ball ricochetting across the bar. The cue ball hits a bald dart player's head, and the man falls, destroying a card game table and thuds to the floor unconscious. Gadget sees the angry patrons advancing on him) Check, please! (A thug throws a table aside.) Just a check!
  (The monkey rushes to the phone on the counter and dials 9-1-1)

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