Funny / history of japan

• "In the year -1,000,000,000, Japan might not have been here."
• "The latest technology, like stones! And bowls!"
• "Knock knock, get the door, it's religion!"
  • "Baekje."^note Pronounced b'YECKT!.
• China's original Embarrassing Nickname for Japan, Wa ("dwarf"), is treated as China calling Japan "dipshit".
  Japan: Can you call us something else, other than dipshit?
  China: Like what?
  Japan: ♫ How about sunrise land? ♫
• "And the royal palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn't give a shit about running the country."
• "Rich important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai."
• "The Mongols came, ready for war, and died in a tornado^note actually a typhoon. Then they came again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tornado^note actually a typhoon."
• Knock knock, it's Europe. No, they're not here to take over^note yet, they just wanna sell some shit, like clocks. And guns. And ♫Jesus!♫
• "Open the country. Stop having it be closed."
  • "Huge boats. With guns. Gunboats."
• "Russia built their railroad, supervised by a shit-ton of soldiers, but then they downgraded to a fuck-ton. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade."
  Japan: Can you maybe chill?
  Russia: How about maybe you chill?
• "All that stuff belongs to Germany, who just had war declared on by Britain [...] and Japan is friends with Britain, so you know what that means... duh, Japan should take the islands!"
• The League of Nations is like, "Nooo, don't do that, if you're in the League of Nations you're not supposed to take over the wooorld!" And Japan said, ♫"How 'bout I do, anyway~?♫"
• "You've got mail! It's from Germany, the new leader of Germany. He has a cool mustache and he's trying to take over the world and needs friends."
• Countries declaring war are treated like "friending" someone on Facebook.
• Right after the otherwise silent and somber bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan raises a tiny white flag reading "you win".
• "Everything's still pretty cool, I guess—BYE!"

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