Funny / HISHE 2017 Episodes

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How Doctor Strange Should Have Ended

• Kaecilius and his men are approaching Kamar-Taj^note or, as he puts it, "Marvel's Kung-Fu School of Witchcraft and Wizardry", with intent to storm the library and take the book on the Dark Dimension...until one of Kaecilius' Mooks opens a sling ring portal straight into the library and grabs it, remarking that they didn't even need to cross the courtyard.
  Mook: Hey, and there's an Infinity Stone just sitting here unattended as well! Do you want that too?
  Kaecilius: Holy crap, yes!
• After a narrow encounter with another car, Stephen decides that texting while driving at incredibly fast speeds down a winding road at night might not be the best idea.
  Stephen: ♪Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm... driving responsibly 'cause I'm so smart! And I like my hands!♪
• The Cloak of Levitation getting a little too enthusiastic over one of Kaecilius' henchmen.
• "Choose your weapons wisely." What exactly does Wong choose? A gun. Just like that last scary, serious wizard teacher.
  [Boom, Headshot!]
  Wong: YES! Haha! WONG! [Cloak of Levitation drops on his shoulders out of nowhere]
• Batman decides to try his luck with the newly-revived Ancient One.
  Batman: Hey, I'm Batman. Heard you like to dabble in the Dark Dimension. You wanna dabble in the... Dark Knight Dimension?
  Ancient One: Oh, you poor man.
  Batman: Hehehehehehe... hehe. I'm... I'm not poor.
• Later Batman proves that he is not poor by demanding to pay Strange's bill and "accidentally" releasing a fountain of cash —and one Bat-Credit Card— from his wallet.
  Batman: Oh, I'm sorry. I have so much money... do you know why!?
  Superman: ...Because your parents were ric—
  Batman: BECAUSE I'M BATMAN!
• Mordo's reduced to working as a waiter at the Cafe since he left Kamar-Taj.
  Mordo: The bill always comes due! [slaps down literal bill] That'll be 12.50.

How Rogue One Should Have Ended

• Vader's "dad joke" is lampshaded by Krennic. Vader takes it as if Krennic thinks he's a father and begins to be excited, only to be disappointed when he tells him it just means he did a bad pun.
  Vader: How... unfortunate. Because if I was a father, I'd be very excited about it.
• When Darth Vader goes through Rebel soldiers near the end, he apologises for killing them.
  Darth Vader: What's up, noobs?
• Saw gleefully agreeing that nothing about him makes any sense.
• Chirrut turns his staff into a lightsaber and becomes a Jedi. Making it funnier is Baze being just as confused and questioning as someone viewing this scene would be.
  Chirrut: I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me. And now, I have a lightsaber!
  Baze: What the- Where did THAT come from?
  Chirrut: Jyn let me borrow her kyber crystal so I made my staff a lightsaber!
  Baze: When?!
  Chirrut: Don't worry about it! I'm a Jedi now and that's all there is too it!
• The Rogue One team's U-wing honking like a truck when the crew stops by to pick up Jyn and Cassian.
  K-2SO: Congratulations: You are being rescued.
• Also:

  K-2SO: You were about to make out with her! Do you know where she's been?

How Logan Should Have Ended

• Jean Grey's cameo.
  Jean: Take my love, even though, one time, you stabbed me...
• Befitting to being a Les Misérables parody, the rest of the X-Men besides Wolverine, Xavier and Jean Grey (which, in a Brick Joke to the Frozen (2013) HISHE, includes Elsa) appear waving flags with different versions of the X-Men logo on them, but Magneto simply uses his powers to move his flag's metalic pole.
• The part of the song where they mention the X-Men film series' ups and downs:
  ♫ "Will you forget X2?
  How many Last Stands will there be?
  We tried to make X-Men Origins
  but just got more Wolverine
  First Class made the people sing
  Magneto vs. Bacon
  Then in the Days of Future Past happy ending comes
  Quicksilver then joins the team [Quicksilver winks and points to the viewer]
  Apocalypse does not succeed" [Apocalypse crosses his arms and frowns]
  Somewhere beyond all that, Xavier makes all of us deceased! ♫ [Xavier smiles and shrugs his shoulders]''
• Deadpool's cameo. All of it.
  Deadpool: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [pulls up in the DeLorean] Not like this, you sexy scruffy man! [knocks Laura out of the way] 'Scuse me, little girl. [injects Wolverine with a syringe] Live! LIVE! [uses a defibrillator on Wolverine] Clear! [Wolverine revives] Oh thank God! That was a close one!
  Wolverine: What happened?
  Deadpool: We almost lost you there big guy! I can't let you go dying on me! We're just getting started! [Deadpool produces Wolverine's costume from the comics] Here, I brought you your tights and everything!
  Wolverine: Oh [Censor Box]
  Deadpool: Now you're getting it! Come on, let's go rub out butts on some glass!
• And the Super Café is Deadpool doing just that much to Batman and Superman's disgust while Logan just walks away after Deadpool asks him to sing Supes' theme song.

  Superman: Please stop associating me with your buttcheeks!

• Batman does not like it when people mess with his catchphrase.
  Deadpool: Because I'm Buttman!
  Batman: Okay now that's just too far!
• The parody of the Johnny Cash song "The Man Comes Around" that plays during the credits acknowledges that the song came out of nowhere.

Super Café: The Last Trailer

• Superman and Batman speculate that Rey's father will be David S. Pumpkins.

How The LEGO Batman Movie Should Have Ended

• It's revealed that the whole movie was just Superman and Batman playing with LEGO at the café; Batman, ever the Manchild, throws a fit when Superman ruins his dramatic ending by bringing in the Justice League.
  Batman: ...I don't wanna play anymore.

How Moana Should Have Ended

• The ending. Pairing HeiHei with Becky just makes too much sense...

How Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Should Have Ended

• The Arrow song:
  Watch out, here comes my arrow!
  It flies super fast.
  And kills everyone!
  Watch out, here comes my arrow!
  Legolas sucks
  And Yondu is the one!
• "HOLY CRAP! DARTH VADER IS REAL?!"
• Batman and Groot start their "I'm Batman" vs. "I am Groot" battle once more. This time, Yondu joins with "I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!" And then... Mary Poppins appears.
  • "MARY POPPINS IS REAL, TOO?!"
  • "WHAT? MARY POPPINS IS A WOMAN?!"
• One of the Ravagers shoots Yondu, then he and his buddy talk so long about doing it that Rocket shoots them both.
• During the credits, the Abilisk of all things is playing music and singing the song.

How Wonder Woman Should Have Ended

• Gramma Tala's cameo:
  Gramma Tala: I know a girl from an island/She stands apart from the crowd/She loves to see her- oh, I'm sorry this is the wrong island. My mistake!
  Diana: (bursting into song) I AM DIANAAAAAAAAAA!
• Diana's famous moment of holding up the line is ruined by Wolverine leaping into battle...
  Wolverine: RAAAAAGH! I'm in this war too!
  German soldier: Oh shiza!
  • Followed by the other German soldier lampshading the disproportionate numbers of supers who fought for the Allied side.
    "This is totally unfair!"
• Just the fact that they decided to use the invisible plane in the final ending.
  Steve: Oh, of course you have that. Why wouldn't you?
• Batman's appearance:
  Batman: Hey, ladies! You wanna know my secret identity?
  Batgirl: Ew, gross! You're, like, friends with my dad!
  • "IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, BRUCE!"

How Spider-Man: Homecoming Should Have Ended

• Thanos himself arrives at Peter's school via portal in response to Ned asking to be Peter's guy in the chair.
  Thanos: I'm the guy in the chair! THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!
• When Peter is battling Toomes on the Damage Control truck, Karen activates the Instant Kill mode on the Spider-Man suit, much to Peter's shock.
  Peter: Why is that even a feature?! I'm 15!
• The various takes on Toomes threatening Peter.
  • In one, Peter points out that since he loves Liz, Toomes will technically kill his own daughter in the process.
    Toomes: ...You win this round, Spider-Man.
  • In another, Peter uses his super strength to restrain Toomes, claiming that Toomes has him hostage through what he actually was doing to him.
    Peter: HELP! THIS MAN HAS A GUN AND IS THREATENING MY LIFE!
  • In a third, Toomes pulls off one hell of an Actor Allusion:
    Toomes: Don't mess with me, kid.
    Peter: Why?
    Toomes: [turns into Batman with a Scare Chord] Because I'm Batman!
    Peter: WHAAAAAAAT?!
• After Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire show up, Spider-Man says that he's just happy that he's back with Marvel, and will never be replaced. Cue...
  Miles Morales: Yeah, don't be too sure about that!
• May catches Peter in his Spider-Man suit and is about to swear in shock... only for Captain America to shout, "Language!" and whack her with his mighty shield.
• The video does a parody of the Captain America "Patience" PSA that appears as The Stinger of the film as their Please Subscribe to Our Channel. It ends with Cap saying, "And now if you excuse me, I have to grow a beard."

Villain Pub – Penny For Your Fears

• Pennywise visits the Villain Pub, a very 80's Villain Pub: The Joker is portrayed by Jack Nicholson and instead of Voldemort it's Freddy Krueger.
• Pennywise asking if they have any "children flesh, laced with human fear".
  Palpatine: Uh... We have some Children of the Corn.
  (cut to Isaac and Malachi standing with a Kubrick Stare)
  Pennywise: Ew! No thank you.
• Just the fact that the Demogorgon is in the pub.
  Demogorgon: Hey, you're starting to flake out! I know what that's like!
  • Which is almost Hilarious in Hindsight or Harsher in Hindsight, since Pennywise does "flake out" in the Infinity War HISHE.
• This gem:
  Pennywise: I had no idea! I did my scary dance and everything! (does said dance) See?!
  (cue several villains cringing at the dance)
  Palpatine: Well, that might have had something to do with it...
• Jason's silly voice. You will not see that behemoth of death the same way again.
  Jason: Sometimes you get so much sequels you don't know what to do with them.
  Palpatine: Taking Manhattan is not worth bragging about, Jason!

Villain Pub – 12 Days of Christmas

• The Villain Pub sing their version of The Twelve Days of Christmas. "On the first day of Christmas, my hatred did recall..."
  • Hela: Twelve Antlers Pointing
  • Zombies: Eleven Zombies Eating
  • Daleks: Ten Daleks Zapping
  • Loki: Nine Lokis Scheming
  • The Demodogs: Eight Dogs a-Stranging
  • Voldemort: Seven Horcruxes
  • Thanos: Six Infinity Stones
  • The Joker: ALL FIVE JOKERS (represented by Cesar Romero, Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger, Jared Leto, and animated Mark Hamill)
  • Doctor Octopus and General Grevious: Four Robotic Arms
  • Slappy and Chucky: Three Creepy Dolls (at the start and end they're joined by the monkey from Toy Story 3 but through most of it they're joined by Annabelle.)
  • Palpatine: Two Sith Lords (changes through the video, starting with Senator Palpatine and Darth Maul, then Maul gets cut in half, then he's replaced with Count Dooku, then Dooku get his hands chopped off, then he's replaced with Anakin Skywalker while Palpatine becomes the Emperor, then Anakin becomes Darth Vader, ending on an unmasked Vader ready to throw him off the edge)
  • Sauron: And The One Ring to Rule Them All

Mary Poppins Starring Yondu

• Mary Poppins Starring Yondu is putting Yondu in Mary Poppins as if the characters in the movie are talking to Yondu. The great editing skills really made the whole clip hilarious:
  • Yondu measures Michael Banks with a tape measure and looks at the label and says, "Skinny. Good for thriving."
  • Yondu riding on a carousel of all things.
  • There's Mr. Banks trying to say the famous catchphrase only for Yondu to mess it up:
    Mr. Banks: Superca... uuhh
    Yondu: Ooobaleebaloobalooo
    Mr. Banks: Yes! Well done! You've said it!
  • There's also the part where Yondu and Mr. Banks confronted each other.
    Yondu: I know who you are!
    Mr. Banks: You don't know.
    Yondu: I know everything about you!
    (Mr Banks shakes his head)
    Yondu: I know you steal batteries that you don't need.
    Mr. Banks: What?
  • Then, there's The Stinger where Yondu carries Michael and tells him, "He may have been your father, boy. But he wasn't your daddy". Michael smiles only for Peter Quill to react vehemently.
    Peter: Uh... Hey!

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