All moments pages are Spoilers Off.
While obviously keeping all the CMOF's from the original source material, Jerusalem adds in a few of his own. For starters:
- The whole "Well... shit" Running Gag, which is later subverted one time when he first sees Michelle."Well.... tits. She was standing talking with a sista who wasn't nothing special to look at, but even if she had been I wouldn't have noticed her, because... goddamn." It goes uphill from there.
- Shortly after CJ arrives in the countryside, he grabs a motorbike and tries to turn the radio to Radio Los Santos. He then finds out that all of the stations are staticky messes... except for one: K-Rose, the Country Music station. His reaction is priceless.
- And later in the chapter, it's shown CJ is singing along to the country music playlist, admitting that it isn't too different from rap and hip-hop, since they both have songs about "getting one over on the law".
- Instead of making CJ The Casanova when it came to his long line of girlfriends, it turns each relationship into a Humiliation Conga, having CJ running from one crazy, ridiculously-quirky girl to another. To summarize the long list:
- Denise Robinson doesn't have a problem with CJ: hell, as part of the Grove Street Families, she loves to do drive-bys on Ballas and Los Santos Vagos! However, when CJ is exiled from Los Santos by Tenpenny, he doesn't get back in touch with Denise for months, and forgot about her until he heard the DJ of Radio Los Santos talking about how Denise is phoning in, demanding to know where CJ is. She also bought him the gaudy-as-hell pimp outfit he uses to initially infiltrate the Loco Syndicate with, with him wondering whether she got it for a laugh or because she just wasn't that smart.
- Catalina is... well, Catalina.
- Katie Zhan, the sexy hospital nurse, is turned on by life-threatening situations, and CJ walks out on her after she admits being turned on by a horribly mutilated man dying on the way to a hospital. She later ends up with Colin, the nonaggressive construction foreman, when he's dug out from the concrete-filled trench CJ put him in, because he's in a condition where his heart could stop at any time - and Katie apparently keeps hiding his medication from him.
- Michelle Cannes, the auto mechanic, loves CJ for being a Badass Driver, though she does think he could use more fat on him. And then she busts a gasket after CJ accidentally reveals he's running the garage that's driving hers out of business.
- Helena Wankstein, the Conservative gun-nut who is... slightly obsessed with Democratic "stereotypes", is a serial-killer, who had brutally murdered her former husband for being too "Democratic" for her tastes. CJ steals her car, and explains to her (while driving away at full speed) that he's "Perpetuating a stereotype, you crazy bitch!".
- Barbara Schternvart gives a triple-whammy to CJ after their date: first, she's a cop. Okay, not too bad - as CJ admits, "It's kind of a turn-on".. Then, she reveals she has an ex-boyfriend. Okay, we can still work it out, CJ shouldn't have trouble with an ex - Wait, SHE HAS KIDS?!?! CJ doesn't bother waiting for Barb to get his clothes out of the washer before jumping out the window, and running like hell. Even Woozie couldn't hold it, as this conversation sums it up:Woozie: You ran NAKED through the streets of El Quebrados?
CJ: Not naked man. I had my drawers on.
Woozie: Oh, well as long as you didn't look odd. - And Millie Perkins... well, that was just a "business relationship".
- The Behind The Scenes chapter with the alternate (and non-canon, for the record) method for dealing with Millie is funny. Apparently Carl's biggest Berserk Button is disregarding fire safety.Carl Johnson: FIRE HAZARD! FIRE HAZARD! OPEN FLAMES NEAR A WOOD SURFACE WITHOUT VENTILATION!! FIRE HAZAAAAAAARD!!
Millie Perkins: Please Carl God no I got arrogant I thought I could violate city bylaws please don't shoo- No! NO!
Carl Johnson: Time to put yo' fire out, bitch.
- The Behind The Scenes chapter with the alternate (and non-canon, for the record) method for dealing with Millie is funny. Apparently Carl's biggest Berserk Button is disregarding fire safety.
- And the resultant final monologue ends with...Sorry Millie, you was fine and you was freaky, but violating fire safety regulations? That shit don't fly for this gangsta. That dog won't hunt, bitch. That dog won't hunt.
- At one point, Ryder brings up the idea of getting really rich by betting on horse races to CJ, who promptly shoots him down. Ryder then asks "You know what I could have done with that fucking money?". Cue an image of CJ imagining Ryder dressed as a stereotypical pimp
◊.- To elaborate, Ryder only came up with the idea because he and CJ were smoking weed, and CJ shot him down because his Zany Scheme relies on putting big money on long odds - noting that they got those long odds and pay out massive amounts because they suck so bad they don't pay out. Then after shooting down that idea, CJ is A-OK with robbing the National Guard. At least that isn't too luck-based.
- The whole "Supply Lines..." scene is hilarious. Turns out even CJ finds this ordeal That One Level in universe.
- Meanwhile, you have Zero not helping matters at all."Ha ha, only three delivery boys left!" laughed Zero, "CLIMB HIGH! CARL! FLY FLYYY!""...Carl," he said quietly, "That's... not flying...."
- Meanwhile, you have Zero not helping matters at all.
- In the final showdown with Big Smoke, there's this exchange:
- Near the end, Sweet has ordered CJ to go back to Grove colors. He complies with style... or so he thought...
- The brief scene of Helena watching new coverage of the Los Santos riots...and masturbating furiously all throughout.
- As CJ busts through the wall to Big Smoke's crack palace, he muses that in doing that "[...]with any luck I'd be like that mean bitch from that movie with the aliens...fuck, what was that called?"
- The scene with the old Asian swordsman. CJ doesn't shoot the swordsman... but it still plays out as an Anti-Climax anyway, with a hilarious bit of realism for how a Single-Stroke Battle plays out in real life."Oh. Well that was kind of a letdown."
"He'd run at me screaming that, "AIEEE" shit they did, and I'd punched him right in the face with the hilt, sending him staggering back, blood gushing from his nose, then slashed the katana across his chest, splitting open his chest, feeling his skin and muscle and bone spreading apart as I hit... and he went down." - When buying the Wang Cars auto dealership as a front for his stolen car expo side business, Carl has to deal with its owner, Mr Wang...though letting slip that he works for Wu Zi Mu manages to get Wang to capitulate pretty quickly, which leads to this exchange:Wang: You keep name? "Wang Cars?"
Carl: I don't know. I thought maybe...I don't know, Johnson Cars?
Wang, laughing: Joh...Johnson? Better keep old name, people might think your cars have pee-pees!
Carl, on narration: Well...shit. - The Let's Play often incorporates the "optional side missions" into the overall storyline. Some notably funny examples include...
- A series of side activities in Los Santos are told as a two part Breather Episode of CJ talking about what he was doing the past month to Sweet, which was ostensibly trying to get a "legit" job. Needless to say, Humiliation Conga doesn't begin to describe how badly that pans out. Crosses over with Moment of Awesome at the end, where he gives Rocky a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown (thus gaining his respect), and revealing that the last part of the month was CJ spraying all the Tags in Los Santos, and fighting off all the Gangbangers and Corrupt Cops trying to stop him - which is where he finally accepts that he's a Grove Street OG at heart, and gets back into the business.
- The Valet side mission is explained with CJ coming back to the Vank Hoff Hotel after Cecil, the head valet there, was an asshole to him during the "555 WE TIP" mission. CJ then proceeds to park pretty much every single car that night, racking up four figures in tips - exactly as Cecil claimed a good valet could do - and leaving the other valets with nothing but lunch money, and then, at the end of the night during tip splitting, he gives it all to the hotel owner, saying he didn't make a buck, effectively screwing everyone else out of their day's pay. He then strikes a deal with Cecil: he will give CJ a cut of his earnings and CJ will not come back and do this all over again every night.
- CJ joining a underground street racing club in San Fierro to network with potential customers... and the first race is on go-karts. It's funny enough with CJ talking about how embarrassing the situation was, but the kicker comes right at the very end when a cop arrests him - keep in mind, this is the ONLY time he's canonically Busted in this Let's Play.SFPD Officer: "FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER!!!"
CJ: "...Oh You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!!"
- A series of side activities in Los Santos are told as a two
- After OG Loc seemingly pulls a Karma Houdini by walking out of the building... he gets some well-deserved Laser-Guided Karma by literally stepping into a Paparazzi ambush, which chews him out for all the phony tricks to become a "gangster" superstar, and broadcasts it all over nationwide television - not just demoting him from superstardom back to being a nobody, but eternally marking him as one of the most loathed and scorned entertainment figures of all time. As CJ wryly notes, "Death would've been kinder".
- While helping Zero deal with Berkley's RC plane squadron, Carl uncovers the minigun that Zero somehow had hidden on his own rooftop and, clearly awestruck, slips into a brief Imagine Spot of himself as Bill Duke in Predator firing Jesse Ventura's minigun while roaring. Zero actually has to snap him out of it.
- After managing to steal a $60 million jetpack from Area 69 (itself also a Moment of Awesome,) Carl rendeszvous' with The Truth, with the amazed hippie declaring Carl "one of God's prototypes" and compares him to "Gonzo." Which Carl doesn't recognize (apart from "that guy from The Muppets") until Truth then asks Carl if he's heard of "Duke" who Carl has... sort of. The funny thing is, both of them have wildly different ideas of "Duke."◊ Carl thinks of Bill Duke shooting the minigun again, while Truth... thinks of a crude drawing of Raoul Duke.
- The way CJ manages to keep his and GSF's territories under control during the endgame riots is both this and undoubtedly a Crowning Moment Of Awesome. He calls in a favour from Woozie and his gang. What favour is it? Airlifting a motherfuckin' TANK into Los Santos. CJ plans to use the tank and a group of Grove Street boys to regain territory and keep Los Santos safe when the police barely can. Its so ballsy, that even Toreno can't help but praise CJ's resourcefulness as he watches CJ's handiwork on TV in the mayor's office. When Sweet sees that said tank is how CJ's gonna keep the riots under control...Sweet: Holy shit. CJ, YOU ARE FUCKING CRAZY!
CJ: YEAH! BUT WHO THE FUCK IS GONNA DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT NOW? - One of Woozie's guys who is a part of the heist team is nicknamed Shejing. One possible translation from Chinese is "ejaculate", which might explain why the Chinese members of the team found his name so funny (the narrative does not actually reveal why it is so funny to them).
- In the epilogue, Catalina makes one final call to CJ… while having sex with Claude.
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