Moist pulling the old classic of digging away the mortar around the bricks in his cell with a spoon... only to discover that there's another brick behind that one, with a fresh spoon. Apparently, Vetinari sets it up that way so that the prisoners will have exercise, something to distract them from moping, occupational therapy, and Hope.
Later, Moist asks his executioner whether the man really believes that the death penalty deters crime. He answers that it's hard to tell in general, because it's pretty difficult to count the number of crimes not committed, but on the other hand, he's never seen any criminal up there more than once.
Which becomes Fridge Brilliance shortly thereafter, as Vetinari uses Mr. Trooper to forcibly recruit select felons for the civil service. Which apparently does reform the ones that accept the job offer, if they fail to end up at Trooper's gallows again.
Moist seeing a messenger from Vetinari hurrying towards him, and hoping desperately that it'll be a stay of execution... and then it turns out that the messenger's telling him to hurry up, they're running late.
Moist thinking about all the things his jailers would learn from the map, such as cryptography and devious cartography, and how one of the things they wouldn't learn was the location of AM $150,000 in mixed currencies, because the map was total fiction, Moist being of the opinion that anyone who can't just remember where they stashed a fortune deserves to lose it.
When Mr. Pump captures Moist:
The broom must have been kept as an ornament, because it certainly hadn't been used much on the accumulations in the stable yard. On the positive side, this meant [Moist] had fallen into something soft. On the negative side, it meant that he had fallen into something soft.
Moist's various courtship efforts with Adora Belle Dearheart.
Adora Belle Dearheart fending off an unwanted drunken suitor in the Mended Drum. She does more with a stiletto heel than Dirty Harry ever did with a Magnum.
"I was forced, practically at knifepoint, to take ballet lessons as a child which means I can kick like a mule, you are sitting in front of me, and I have another shoe."
There's a scene where a fighter at the Mended Drum explains to his team mates "a proper brawl doesn't just happen" and goes over the strategy for their upcoming Bar Brawl, which includes hitting someone with your own severed arm if it gets cut off.
It always gets a laugh from the audience and they have Igor at hand to reattach it, you see. Speaking of which, that's why it is important to tattoo all your limbs with your name. You don't want to go home with another man's leg and walk lopsidedly forever after.
Stanley was raised by peas. No, not on peas, by peas. As a result he has tendency to lean towards the light and be very quiet. Groat tells Moist that it is better not to inquire further.
Stanley's dealing with the fire by carefully reading and obeying all Post Office Regulations: "...and await A, rescue, or B, death."
Stanley and Groat have divided their single living room exactly half and half. The border line goes through the dining table. Salt and pepper shakers have their own circled demilitarized zones. Stanley maintains the border by giving it another pass with a sharp knife once a month.
There are a number of asides about Anoia, the very minor Goddess of Things Getting Stuck In Drawers. Originally she's the least important god to appear in the series since Om wound up having just one worshipper back in Small Gods, but when the citizens of Ankh-Morpork grasp that she's one of four possible candidates for divinely inspiring a follower to find a huge buried treasure, their interest in kitchen drawers and things that get stuck in them experiences a rapid increase. Rattle thy drawers, amen!
The evil delight the old postmen get when they see Anghammarad finish their initiation ritual, stomping broken bottles and strewn toys flat.
During the rebuilding of the Post Office, Miss Maccalariat informs Moist that someone asked the post office staff if they "embrace divertingly". While Moist eventually figures out she means "embrace diversity", this is the initial reaction:
There was a pregnant pause. It gave birth to a lot of little pauses, each one more deeply embarrassing than its parent.
At one point Moist apparently goes on a Cluster F-Bomb filled rant about Reacher Gilt, only to be reprimanded by Miss Maccalariat, although in spite of disapproving of his language, she more than agrees with his sentiment.
'People have been giving us letters to post, sir. Not many yet and some of them are a bit, er, jokey, but we got a penny off'f them every time. That's seven pence, sir,' he added proudly, proffering the coins. 'Oh boy, we eat tonight!' said Moist.
The sheer fact that "Bloody Stupid" Johnson was able to design a wheel whose value of pi is exactly three because the actual value seemed untidy to him. The thing itself even distorts part of the universe around it in order to exist.
The previous Postmaster got in trouble for trying to destroy the wheel, in the process apparently destroying the entire universe and immediately replacing it with another, identical universe. Or possibly just stopping it; it was annoying him by generating infinite mail, so he just hit it with an iron bar until it stopped, and he figured the wizards couldn't'v'e been too sure it was going to destroy the entire universe 'cause they got out in a hurry when he started and it wouldn't've mattered if it did.
Ridcully responding to citizens interrupting, nay, daring to question a fellow of Unseen University by repeatedly promoting the man. By the time the former Mr Collabone has finished speaking he's a full Professor.
When one of the bankers threatens to sue the university, Ridcully retorts "We have a whole pond full of people who tried to sue the University!"
Earlier in the conversation with Mr. Collabone, Ridcully exclaims, "It's not working, Mr. Stibbons! Here's that damn enormous fiery eye again!" While the Shout-Out to The Lord of the Rings is obvious, the enormous fiery eye turns out to be Mr. Collabone's, as he's got bad seasonal allergies.
Moist just continually being awesome, and basically making it his job description.
In a Black Comedy way, it turns out that Gilt really believes in freedom of choice...but not in angels.
The footnote, after Crispin Horsefry's introduction, on the nature of first impressions.
"May I take your conthpicously large hooded cloak, thir?"
Moist's confession, where he first gets Adora Belle Dearheart to promise not to murder him (including watching her hands to make sure she didn't cross her fingers), then helps her by suggesting the correct rodent to compare him to.
After he confesses, she looks at him for a moment, then says, "I did promise, didn't I?" Totally justified but also hilarious.
TV Special
While out of character for her, Angua's meeting with "Albert Spangler" in the TV special is plenty funny. After picking up "Spangler"'s scent from the coins, she finds him in a bar, drunkenly playing with a coin.
Angua:[in a tone that shows she knows damn well who he actually is] Albert Spangler?
Moist:[slurring] Never heard of him... [with a lascivious look at Angua, who rolls her eyes] ...but for you, I could be anyone.
Angua: Could you be lunch? [her eyes flare blue and she starts transforming]
Moist:[with a spectacular Oh, Crap! expression] How was I to know that the City Watch's finest Sergeant was a werewolf?!
Angua:[fully transformed, she snarls and leaps at Moist]
To be fair, in the books, Angua only has eyes for Carrot, so such an offer from a con-artist would be rather insulting to her. Makes one wonder if this version of Angua feels the same way about the counterpart for Carrot in this universe.
After picking up "Spangler"'s scent from the coins, she finds him in a bar, drunkenly playing with a coin.Angua: [in a tone that shows she knows damn well who he actually is] Albert Spangler?Moist: [slurring] Never heard of him... [with a lascivious look at Angua, who rolls her eyes] ...but for you, I could be anyone.Angua: Could you be lunch? [her eyes flare blue and she starts transforming]Moist: [with a spectacular Oh, Crap! expression] How was I to know that the City Watch's finest Sergeant was a werewolf?!Angua: [fully transformed, she snarls and leaps at Moist]